Still trickling...

So I mentioned in my last post that I was still bleeding a little after our trip to the ER. I figured that the brownish blood was related to the initial bleeding episode of Thursday afternoon, so I wasn't too concerned.

After a leisurely weekend of mostly bed rest (I did get up to walk the dogs, but I was told by the doctor that was okay, so long as I took it easy), things looked good and I had no spotting after early Sunday morning.

Enter Monday morning. And I have pinkish spotting. Again. UGH.

More than anything, this is nerve wracking and it makes me panicky. I just wish it would stop.

Yah, yah, I know, everyone is telling me that spotting can be normal and to just relax. Well, you try telling a woman who had a miscarriage just a few months ago to relax when she sees spotting. Not happening, I think, unless she's got nerves of steel. Which I don't.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting there bursting into tears or hysterically wailing when I see the spotting. But I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. And then I start - almost unconsciously - resigning myself to what I believe to be the worst case scenario. Another miscarriage.

I want to have faith in this baby. I want to believe in him or her, 100%, like I did with our first baby. I try really hard to do so, and it's easier when I've got my head in the toilet retching from the smell of Mr. Legalosaur's Big Mac meal.

But, sometimes it's just a little harder than usual to believe in miracles...