Losing Sleep

I am not a sound sleeper as it is and now with the thoughts of our baby fate in my head sleep is even harder to come by.

We have to make a choice. We have to decide what method is going to be our next step. Do we choose IUI? Do we choose egg freezing? Do we choose IVF? How do you know what is good for you emotionally, physically and financially? Well, with a lot of thought and research and discussion.

I have endometriosis and listed above are the choices given to us by our RE. Our fabulous RE. I am so grateful to be working with such a confident, knowledgeable, kind person.

We are giving ourselves a couple of months to come to a decision before moving forward. This is grand yet difficult all at the same time.

The C Word

I had my consultation with Dr. F my reproductive endocrinologist this morning. I went in to get the results of all our testing. She started off with the hubs. He got an A+. She mention that his motility is a little bit lower than she would like to see but no where near a bad level so he didn't get any marks taken off. Then she got to me. I on the other hand didn't do so well.

She starts off my asking if I know what polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is. I tell her I am familiar with it and she thinks I may have it because when I had my ultrasound they saw I had more than the normal amount of follicles. Also, I guess my insulin is high not diabetes high but higher than it should be. That combined with my irregular cycles I have PCOS. I wasn't really too surprised given my track record with menstruation. She thinks it will be fairly easy for me to become pregnant using *gasp* clomid. Yes that is the C word I am talking about.

Dr. F went on to give me the side effects of clomid and even gave me its nickname which is apparently clomonster which I thought was funny. I probably wont think it is so funny when I am on it. I mentioned that my last cycle shorted to 28 days and she said that it was great and wants me to come in next Monday which will be cycle day 20 to test me to see if I have ovulated. If I did then we wait for Aunt Flo to show up and if not then they give me some pill to take for 10 days to bring it on. On cycle day 3 I will go back for an ultrasound to make sure my follicles are developing on track. Then take clomid for 5 days and then I go back in for blood work near cycle day 12 and then I get the green light to inject myself and then baby dance for two days followed by a progesterone level check. Finally, wait to see if it worked and if not repeat.

Next came the multiple babies talk. Apparently, with the amount of follicles I have my risk for multiples is higher and with clomid there is always a risk of multiple so that is a little scary but better to have two than none right? If clomid doesn't get us pregnant in 3 months then the next step would be a IUI where they inject my husbands sperm into my uterus.

After my appointment I came home and talked to the hubby about all this. I thought for sure he would say lets try on our own for a while and see what happens. But he is on board, self pay and all. Becoming pregnant is looking more and more like a reality for us. It is exciting and a little scary but I am finally 100% emotionally ready for this. In the past few months I have done a bit a teetering back and forth about becoming pregnant and what kind of changes it would mean for not only me but for us as a couple. I have come to the point where I say bring it on.

Test Complete

All of our initial testing is done. After all the results come in I have to call and schedule and apt. for us to go and hear our plan of action. Since Dec 24th I have had 3 blood tests, 2 trans vaginal ultrasound (including one with saline) the hubby has had 2 sperm analysis and one blood test. He just completed the blood work yesterday so we should have our news by next Wed.

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As of last post I had talked about having to possibly get the chicken pox vaccine. I have not heard back yet but have decided to get the vaccine if need be which would put us out of baby trying for three months. This is not a huge deal as it would only put me out one cycle and enter back in real close to ovulation for the cycle after that. It would be worth it, why risk the babies health.

I also left off with having to get my saline ultrasound. It really wasn't that bad. They had me empty my bladder and lay on the table naked from the waist down. The tech (who I really like) explained everything and then went and got the doctor. It is a two person deal. The Dr. inserts the speculum which really is the worst part. I was told to take 2 ibuprofen and hour before to help with the cramping. After the speculum was in she fed the catheter which was a small tube kinda like spaghetti into my uterus and then speculum was removed which was good because I really hate that tool. Then the tech inserted the ultrasound camera. At this point the catheter came out and had to be reinserted which meant the speculum came back in. This time I felt the cramping. Nothing terrible it was like period cramps.

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After everything was inserted properly the doctor fed saline solution through the catheter while the camera was in to check for blockages in my tubes. Apparently last time they thought they saw a blockage in my left fallopian tube so they were shocked to see the solution pass through with ease. The think it may be a heavy vessel, nothing to worry about they said it may just give me a heavy pulling feeling during my period. At this point they were both smiling and said the whole area looked textbook, the doc even said my uterus was gorgeous which was weirdly flattering. The whole process took less than 10 minutes. Like I said the speculum was the worst part, although feeling the solution come back out was a little weird. They told me to wear a pantyliner that I may leak for a couple of hours and may spot for a day or two. After I left I did feel wet down there but nothing terrible. I did experience some cramping on and off but no spotting. I am relieved to know everything is working properly for me even if my period is irregular. Hopefully the same comes back for Mr. Relaxasaur and if not we take it one day at a time.

Tonight we went to a friends house who has a 7 month old baby. She is the cutest little girl. As soon as we got there my sister handed the baby off to Mr. R and she took to him immediately. She was burrowing in his chest and he played with her for about 15 minutes until she fell asleep on him. Instead of giving her back he went to the couch and sat down with her for about 45 minutes. It was so cute and he looked like a natural. It made my heart melt and I can't wait to see him like that with our child, whenever that may be.

Chickenpox

Yes, that is right chicken pox. I don't have them and that is the problem. My RE's office called today and said that I failed the varicella virus test. Apparently when I was younger I had chicken pox but I only had a few pox. I knew that I could catch them again so on account of my sisters both having a severe case they were sent to my Grandma's house because my dad (even with 4 brothers) never had chicken pox. So I have never been exposed to them and now that is creating a problem.

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The nurse said that I have to retake the test when I go back in on Thursday. If it comes back and still says that I am not immune I will need to get the varicella vaccine. This would set our TTC efforts back three months because I would have to get a shot and then thirty days later get another shot and then retest to make sure my body has built up an immunity. I know that they use the live virus so hopefully this wont lead me to develop chicken pox I don't think I could afford the time off work. However, she explained that I could not have any of this done but if I were to catch chicken pox while in my first trimester (ya know if were to become pregnant) there is a great chance the baby would develop birth defects. I know the likely hood of me coming down with the pox is rare but it is something I would not like to risk especially with my husband working with children all day. So lets hope this test was a fluke and I wouldn't even have to worry about it.

I would love to hear your opinions.

RE Appointment

Happy Holidays to all! I just wanted to send a quick update of my reproductive endocrinologist (RE) appointment I had today. I went in and had my consultation and I like everyone who works there. Dr F sat down with me and talked about my history and what is currently happening (my long cycles). They took blood from me to find out if I ovulated (more on that later) and I will get the results on Monday. They also will let me know if I have to pick up a prescription to make my period come so I can get more testing because my period was just brown spotting and they want to see full flow.

They want me to come in on my 3rd day of my cycle to get more blood work and then sometime on cycle day 6-10 for a saline ultrasound which involves a catheter so that sounds a little scary. Dr. F also went over my husbands sperm analysis. She explained that teratospermia means sperm are deformed which I knew. She said that 100% of the sperm were deformed but that could just be the sample they took from and it doesn't mean that we cannot conceive on our own but 70% of them are mobile so that is good. She wants Josh to bring a new sample in as well as get a blood test for HIV, hepatitis, and syphilis. She did say that she has seen samples in men that are very similar to Mr. Relaxasaur and they have conceived on their own. So right now we are keeping hope.

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As to my ovulation I was due to ovulate on or around New Years but Monday I felt a few pains near my left ovary they didn't last long so I brushed them off because it was too early and I didn't see any signs pointing to ovulation. Then on Tuesday I had a crazy amount of egg white cervical mucus and more ovulation pains. Of course I was already at work and didn't get home until 2 am after the hubby was already sleeping. I did take an OPK just to know and it was positive. Awesome. We also had not had sex since Thursday because we didn't see each other this past weekend. I took another test Wednesday morning just to be sure and yep it turned positive again. I had to work that day and didn't get home until 11 that night and we baby danced because you never know and also because it had been a while. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Good because I ovulated a week to 10 days earlier so my cycle is getting shorter, but bad because we had not been intimate on my supposed fertile days. Oh well there is always February.

I will post my results when I find out if in fact I have been ovulating or not.

Again Happy Holidays to all!!!!!!!!!