I can't believe its Friday again, its the wee hours of the morning and my bed and I are not getting along. We have consistently been getting home around 9pm all week, so my house is a disaster and I am just worn out but I can't bear to lay down. My legs are restless, my stomach is in the way and I cannot find a comfortable position.
The weekly checkup was yesterday morning, it was fine. I met with a doctor I normally don't. They recommend that in the event you get whoever is on call when you are about to deliver. It was a He. Really no biggie at this point, it seems like everyone has seen me pants off lately but he just didn't know me, asked questions all about my gestational diabetes and as he was walking out he says something about having a big baby and that it looks like we are heading towards a c-section.
Mmmm. Excuse me. What was that, I must have misheard you. Of course I smile and nod, holding back my tears and as soon as the door closes I lower my head and just start crying. My baby is growing quickly, I know she is big for her gestational age, but really is this what everyone is thinking and you were just the first to say it. Now I have really just surrendered myself to the fact that pregnancy is like nothing else you can expect. It doesn't happen on the first try, it doesn't seem to go to the way you think and you sure as hell can't plan anything to do with it. Knowing those things I have not put together a "birth plan" per say but I had an idea of how I would like the birth to be and a c-section was never really in that picture. I would like to labor at home for as long as I can, I would like to see how my body acts, if I want an epidural I will get one, if I feel like I can do it on my own I want to. Now you are telling me to skip steps 1 and 2 and go straight to 3.
I clearly didn't like that answer.
I will be talking to the next doctor next Thursday to hopefully get a different answer. I will go for an ultrasound in a week and a half-ish to check her size again and from there we will have a better understanding of what the next step is. The Mr. thinks they may take me then but at this point who knows.
Showing posts with label c-section. Show all posts
Showing posts with label c-section. Show all posts
Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Note to Self: Expect the Unexpected
Welcome to the world Baby Gavin!
Sorry this is so late, but the recovery from the little man's birth was a little more than I anticipated. Actually, more specifically breastfeeding was WAY more than I expected.
Gavin was born on April 24 at 9:53pm weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 14 ounces. How he made it here is the long part of the story.
My water broke at about 3am on the morning of the 22, and I freaked out told my husband, called my midwife, and proceeded to wait. I cleaned the house and when there was nothing happening at the end of that I went to bed. The next morning there was still no action so I went to an appointment with my midwife to check my progress at 1pm that day. I was about 2cm dilated and soft, but nothing really going on. Here I thought I might be one of those people who could dilate without really feeling much! My water had broken, and no one really tells you that you keep making amniotic fluid so you have to wear a pad and change it constantly to stay dry and comfortable.... weird.
At the advice of my midwife we bought some tinctures called blue and black cohosh to kickstart my contractions. Definitely some of the grossest tasting stuff I have ever tasted. Every fifteen minutes for three hours, but as nasty as it was I guess it worked because by 1am I was having contractions about every 8min and by 3am about every 5 or 6 minutes. I watched tv, showered, bathed, and tried to just relax as much as possible until they got really hard and closer together around 8am. My midwife came to the house around 10 and unfortunately there still really wasn't alot of progress... that was when I started to have nagging thoughts that maybe I really wasn't strong enough to do this. She suggested walking, stretching my legs and pelvis, and by then I was in so much pain I could hard ungrit my teeth let alone start exercising!
I did the best I could and like everyone always says it's almost impossible to describe the contractions. To me it felt like waves of pain that build to a peak and then slowly subside. It was hard for me to breathe and my husband did an amazing job of making sure I drank water and breathed through as much as I could. Now this is the part where I don't want to make this sound like a negative experience to anyone who hasn't done it, so I will make sure I mention what my midwife told me. My labour was "unproductive" labour and that has a very different feeling from productive labour, so please take what I describe with a grain of salt. The baby's position was posterior and wouldn't turn so his head was essentially butting into my cervix at exactly the wrong position.
At around 2:30pm I was done. I couldn't breathe anymore and I could barely think I was in so much pain. I felt like I had to "do" something to regain control. I told my husband we have to go to the hospital. I wasn't even sure that I wanted pain relief I just wanted to change my environment so that I feel like there was some progress. When we got to the hospital, I was quite the sight, I had tried to put makeup on at some point, but naturally it had worn off, and I was wearing my Lulu's, my husband's Led Zeppelin t shirt, and a big red fleece blanket over my shoulders. HOT.
At the hospital my second mom was working which was amazing. If she hadn't been there already I would have called her to come in. She was one of my biggest supports. She took one look at me and said, "come with me honey, I 'll fix you right up." She gave me a shot of Fentanyl to take the edge off and it was just enough to start thinking clearly again. My midwife checked me and I remember saying, I can keep going indefinitely if I am at least 5 and a half cm. I was 4-5, 'nough said.
They hooked me up to monitors and the baby's heartrate was insanely high in the 180's which meant that both the baby and I had gotten an infection from my water being broken for about 36 hours at the time. There was also a lack of variability.
My contractions weren't regular either, and as soon as they said it I knew exactly what was next. The first of many interventions... just what I wanted to avoid.
Oxytocin was hooked up, and the epidural was next. I knew that if I had to get oxytocin the contractions that were already unbearable would become even more so and closer together. Great., Another intervention.
I was much happier after that but I couldn't help thinking how much I had failed myself already. I truly thought I would be tough, tougher than that anyway.
At my next internal I still had made zero progress even after the oxytocin had been kicked into high gear. It was extremely disappointing. My epidural started to wear off and I could feel almost constant pain in my lower left abdomen. I was beginning to worry.
Then around 8pm at another check it happened. Meconium. The last straw. I knew what that meant. My favorite nurse and second mom just left the room without saying anything, and my midwife just told me and simply said, "I'm so sorry." I knew it meant c- section. The ob arrived to check me yet again and confirmed it. The baby and I both had an infection, the baby's position was posterior, the oxytocin wasn't working, my cervix was stuck at 5cm and swollen already, the epidural had stopped working, and now meconium. The doctor said that the baby was stressed but not IN distress, YET. So i had a decision to make did I want to continue until the baby was in distress or I delivered naturally... or a c section. I thought about it for as long as I had time and asked a million questions, and he was amazing. Finally, I asked for his personal opinion and he said he couldn't do that, but my midwife told me after he left that if it were her she would. She said she felt that the baby was more stressed than he did and that I had already labored for 12 hours with very little progress. She said that it would be hard to keep going and then push without risking the health of the baby. So I cried. I talked to my husband and we decided that it was necessary to go the route of the c section to avoid any further complications.
I was prepped and at just before ten they told my husband that he could look at the baby's head if he wanted. I was having alot of trouble during the operation. The spinal worked in the same way the epidural had so I kept trying to tell them that I could feel what they were doing. I felt like I was going to throw up any second and my nose plugged up. I had such a dry mouth that it was hard to breathe and I remember just begging them for some water or ice or anything. When the baby came out I did get tears in my eyes, but almost immediately I just felt so sick that I couldn't even focus my eyes. They tried to give me the baby but my arms and fingers were numb and I felt like I was going to drop him. They took him away to weigh him and my husband went with the baby. I didn't even care what was going on around me at that point I just wanted the sickness and pain to stop.
I had a huge coughing fit and needed to be sedated in order for them to finish closing me up especially because I was able to feel.
After they told me that even the c section hadn't gone smoothly because the baby had shoulder distocia, and was very difficult to get out of my tummy. Not to mention how BIG he was!
I am only writing what really happened here because I have so many mixed up feelings about it all. I really thought my baby's birth was going to be different. I really thought it was going to be beautiful, and I did everything I possibly could to avoid what ended up happening anyway. So forgive me, but it feels like I'm healing some of it by writing it all down. My midwife put it into perspective by saying, "if this were 100 years ago it would have been a labour that would have probably lasted five days and ended with the death of both you and the baby." Thank you modern medicine. The ob said, " this baby would never have come out vaginally with all the complications." Those two statements helped me see that although I tried everything I could to avoid it- it was impossible, and we are both healthy and happy, and that's all I should really be asking for.
Gavin is incredibly healthy and has no lasting effects from the Meconium or anything. He is a darling baby boy, and now that my milk finally came in we are working with each other really well. The first few days were so hard when I didn't have milk and was trying to avoid formula, but now I feel confident that I have what I need to take care of him.
His father loves him to pieces, and our families are absolutely enamoured by him. I am a little bit in awe of the experience and can't wait to see each and every milestone he hits. I know it won't be easy all the time, but there are rewards each and every day that outweigh the tough spots. I feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life and the experience of his birth has certainly humbled me.
I really wanted to add a picture, but they aren't on this computer so I will have to add one as soon as I can. I hope everyone is doing well and, again, sorry about the lateness of this post. I didn't anticipate how long it would take to feel comfortable managing everything long enough to write this enormous post.
xoxo
Sorry this is so late, but the recovery from the little man's birth was a little more than I anticipated. Actually, more specifically breastfeeding was WAY more than I expected.
Gavin was born on April 24 at 9:53pm weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 14 ounces. How he made it here is the long part of the story.
My water broke at about 3am on the morning of the 22, and I freaked out told my husband, called my midwife, and proceeded to wait. I cleaned the house and when there was nothing happening at the end of that I went to bed. The next morning there was still no action so I went to an appointment with my midwife to check my progress at 1pm that day. I was about 2cm dilated and soft, but nothing really going on. Here I thought I might be one of those people who could dilate without really feeling much! My water had broken, and no one really tells you that you keep making amniotic fluid so you have to wear a pad and change it constantly to stay dry and comfortable.... weird.
At the advice of my midwife we bought some tinctures called blue and black cohosh to kickstart my contractions. Definitely some of the grossest tasting stuff I have ever tasted. Every fifteen minutes for three hours, but as nasty as it was I guess it worked because by 1am I was having contractions about every 8min and by 3am about every 5 or 6 minutes. I watched tv, showered, bathed, and tried to just relax as much as possible until they got really hard and closer together around 8am. My midwife came to the house around 10 and unfortunately there still really wasn't alot of progress... that was when I started to have nagging thoughts that maybe I really wasn't strong enough to do this. She suggested walking, stretching my legs and pelvis, and by then I was in so much pain I could hard ungrit my teeth let alone start exercising!
I did the best I could and like everyone always says it's almost impossible to describe the contractions. To me it felt like waves of pain that build to a peak and then slowly subside. It was hard for me to breathe and my husband did an amazing job of making sure I drank water and breathed through as much as I could. Now this is the part where I don't want to make this sound like a negative experience to anyone who hasn't done it, so I will make sure I mention what my midwife told me. My labour was "unproductive" labour and that has a very different feeling from productive labour, so please take what I describe with a grain of salt. The baby's position was posterior and wouldn't turn so his head was essentially butting into my cervix at exactly the wrong position.
At around 2:30pm I was done. I couldn't breathe anymore and I could barely think I was in so much pain. I felt like I had to "do" something to regain control. I told my husband we have to go to the hospital. I wasn't even sure that I wanted pain relief I just wanted to change my environment so that I feel like there was some progress. When we got to the hospital, I was quite the sight, I had tried to put makeup on at some point, but naturally it had worn off, and I was wearing my Lulu's, my husband's Led Zeppelin t shirt, and a big red fleece blanket over my shoulders. HOT.
At the hospital my second mom was working which was amazing. If she hadn't been there already I would have called her to come in. She was one of my biggest supports. She took one look at me and said, "come with me honey, I 'll fix you right up." She gave me a shot of Fentanyl to take the edge off and it was just enough to start thinking clearly again. My midwife checked me and I remember saying, I can keep going indefinitely if I am at least 5 and a half cm. I was 4-5, 'nough said.
They hooked me up to monitors and the baby's heartrate was insanely high in the 180's which meant that both the baby and I had gotten an infection from my water being broken for about 36 hours at the time. There was also a lack of variability.
My contractions weren't regular either, and as soon as they said it I knew exactly what was next. The first of many interventions... just what I wanted to avoid.
Oxytocin was hooked up, and the epidural was next. I knew that if I had to get oxytocin the contractions that were already unbearable would become even more so and closer together. Great., Another intervention.
I was much happier after that but I couldn't help thinking how much I had failed myself already. I truly thought I would be tough, tougher than that anyway.
At my next internal I still had made zero progress even after the oxytocin had been kicked into high gear. It was extremely disappointing. My epidural started to wear off and I could feel almost constant pain in my lower left abdomen. I was beginning to worry.
Then around 8pm at another check it happened. Meconium. The last straw. I knew what that meant. My favorite nurse and second mom just left the room without saying anything, and my midwife just told me and simply said, "I'm so sorry." I knew it meant c- section. The ob arrived to check me yet again and confirmed it. The baby and I both had an infection, the baby's position was posterior, the oxytocin wasn't working, my cervix was stuck at 5cm and swollen already, the epidural had stopped working, and now meconium. The doctor said that the baby was stressed but not IN distress, YET. So i had a decision to make did I want to continue until the baby was in distress or I delivered naturally... or a c section. I thought about it for as long as I had time and asked a million questions, and he was amazing. Finally, I asked for his personal opinion and he said he couldn't do that, but my midwife told me after he left that if it were her she would. She said she felt that the baby was more stressed than he did and that I had already labored for 12 hours with very little progress. She said that it would be hard to keep going and then push without risking the health of the baby. So I cried. I talked to my husband and we decided that it was necessary to go the route of the c section to avoid any further complications.
I was prepped and at just before ten they told my husband that he could look at the baby's head if he wanted. I was having alot of trouble during the operation. The spinal worked in the same way the epidural had so I kept trying to tell them that I could feel what they were doing. I felt like I was going to throw up any second and my nose plugged up. I had such a dry mouth that it was hard to breathe and I remember just begging them for some water or ice or anything. When the baby came out I did get tears in my eyes, but almost immediately I just felt so sick that I couldn't even focus my eyes. They tried to give me the baby but my arms and fingers were numb and I felt like I was going to drop him. They took him away to weigh him and my husband went with the baby. I didn't even care what was going on around me at that point I just wanted the sickness and pain to stop.
I had a huge coughing fit and needed to be sedated in order for them to finish closing me up especially because I was able to feel.
After they told me that even the c section hadn't gone smoothly because the baby had shoulder distocia, and was very difficult to get out of my tummy. Not to mention how BIG he was!
I am only writing what really happened here because I have so many mixed up feelings about it all. I really thought my baby's birth was going to be different. I really thought it was going to be beautiful, and I did everything I possibly could to avoid what ended up happening anyway. So forgive me, but it feels like I'm healing some of it by writing it all down. My midwife put it into perspective by saying, "if this were 100 years ago it would have been a labour that would have probably lasted five days and ended with the death of both you and the baby." Thank you modern medicine. The ob said, " this baby would never have come out vaginally with all the complications." Those two statements helped me see that although I tried everything I could to avoid it- it was impossible, and we are both healthy and happy, and that's all I should really be asking for.
Gavin is incredibly healthy and has no lasting effects from the Meconium or anything. He is a darling baby boy, and now that my milk finally came in we are working with each other really well. The first few days were so hard when I didn't have milk and was trying to avoid formula, but now I feel confident that I have what I need to take care of him.
His father loves him to pieces, and our families are absolutely enamoured by him. I am a little bit in awe of the experience and can't wait to see each and every milestone he hits. I know it won't be easy all the time, but there are rewards each and every day that outweigh the tough spots. I feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life and the experience of his birth has certainly humbled me.
I really wanted to add a picture, but they aren't on this computer so I will have to add one as soon as I can. I hope everyone is doing well and, again, sorry about the lateness of this post. I didn't anticipate how long it would take to feel comfortable managing everything long enough to write this enormous post.
xoxo
Friday, March 19, 2010
Back to Breech...
Hmmmm... just when I was able to report that everything was progressing without a hitch.... the baby turned BACK to breech. I was so relieved and excited that the huge risk of c-section was gone, and now it's back with a vengeance.
I even made my husband promise not to tell anyone because if his mother finds out and even says one word about it to me I will lose control. I'm mostly joking, but I really will find it hard to bite my tongue if she were to say anything to me in that regard.
We went in for our regular appointment last week and a midwife that was filling in for my usual one felt for the position, and was having a really tough time between the braxton hicks I was having and the baby itself. She started to get worried that the baby had turned breech again and wanted to schedule an ultrasound at 36 weeks to confirm it. Unfortunately the hospital had other ideas and was booked all the way into my 37th week which would not have given us much time to try any natural methods of having the baby turn on his own. Needless to say I was a little anxious..... Thankfully, I just got the call today that my appointment was switched to the day the baby is 36 weeks! So, if we do find out that he is in fact still breech we can try natural methods of turning him for a week before we need to try an ECV.
The natural methods to turn a baby include:
And there are more that I have missed I'm sure.
Now, the scary thing is the ECV. It stands for External Cephalic Version and consists of an Obstetrician manually turning the baby from the outside using their hands and kind of pushing the baby around. They begin by prepping you for an emergency c-section (great) and giving you drugs to relax your uterus (also great). They have to make sure to lift the baby out of the space between the pelvic bones and tuurrrrrn the baby so that the head is down. The part that doesn't bode well for me is the rate of success is 58% and also the success rate goes down for first time pregnancies.
The complications include the placenta separating from the uterine wall (resulting in a emergency c-section), the risk of the baby's heartbeat dropping (resulting in immediate delivery), and/ or cord prolapse. Sounds fun, doesn't it? Many babies turn back even after the ecv, and apparently it hurts... It definitely doesn't look fun based on the you tube videos I may have looked up. Ah well, I would rather try to get him turned around naturally first, manually second, and still aim for a natural birth. However, if it comes down to a c-section I will be disappointed, but blah blah blah all that matters is a healthy child. I'm practising to say that to people because I will be really sad if I don't get to have the birth I want.
So now for a weekend of waiting. Although with everything going on right now I'm not sure I will have that much time to actually think about it.
I have to pack up most of our house so that we can move it to the house we are renovating. Unfortunately this is difficult because I would really like to have at least one room done in which to put stuff so we don't have to move it ten times... but alas we have to complete painting and trim in minimum the three rooms that are the closest to finished. However, I suppose I could just pack everything up and keep it at the house we are living in until those rooms are completed.
I mainly need to make a place for donating stuff, throwing away stuff, and keeping stuff. I need to purge because I don't want to bring a ton of clutter into a new place. Maybe the nesting energy will kick in! Fingers crossed!
I also need to go shopping for the things that are most critical in preparing for this baby like a diaper bag and the stuff that we need to take to the hospital. I need to buy some nursing tank tops and something more comfortable maternity wear wise to wear around the house. It feels like my tummy is growing out of everything these days! I know this to be true because of the excessive stretch marks that seem never ending! I have a lower stomach that is almost entirely tiger stripes, so hot....
In between the packing, cleaning, and shopping I will need to make time for resting and homework as well... I have a feeling this weekend is going to fly by and the ultrasound will be here before I know it!
Has anyone had an ultrasound at 36 weeks? I assume it will be much different from my 20 week one, and I'm wondering how much detail you can see? Facial features?
Hope to report great news next time! Have a great week everyone!
I even made my husband promise not to tell anyone because if his mother finds out and even says one word about it to me I will lose control. I'm mostly joking, but I really will find it hard to bite my tongue if she were to say anything to me in that regard.
We went in for our regular appointment last week and a midwife that was filling in for my usual one felt for the position, and was having a really tough time between the braxton hicks I was having and the baby itself. She started to get worried that the baby had turned breech again and wanted to schedule an ultrasound at 36 weeks to confirm it. Unfortunately the hospital had other ideas and was booked all the way into my 37th week which would not have given us much time to try any natural methods of having the baby turn on his own. Needless to say I was a little anxious..... Thankfully, I just got the call today that my appointment was switched to the day the baby is 36 weeks! So, if we do find out that he is in fact still breech we can try natural methods of turning him for a week before we need to try an ECV.
The natural methods to turn a baby include:
- going in water with your head down feet up
- laying on a board with your feet elevated higher than your head
- Moxibustion- a chinese medicine tool that consists of a herb used near your baby toe
- Acupuncture
- Webster Technique done at the Chiropractors
And there are more that I have missed I'm sure.
Now, the scary thing is the ECV. It stands for External Cephalic Version and consists of an Obstetrician manually turning the baby from the outside using their hands and kind of pushing the baby around. They begin by prepping you for an emergency c-section (great) and giving you drugs to relax your uterus (also great). They have to make sure to lift the baby out of the space between the pelvic bones and tuurrrrrn the baby so that the head is down. The part that doesn't bode well for me is the rate of success is 58% and also the success rate goes down for first time pregnancies.
The complications include the placenta separating from the uterine wall (resulting in a emergency c-section), the risk of the baby's heartbeat dropping (resulting in immediate delivery), and/ or cord prolapse. Sounds fun, doesn't it? Many babies turn back even after the ecv, and apparently it hurts... It definitely doesn't look fun based on the you tube videos I may have looked up. Ah well, I would rather try to get him turned around naturally first, manually second, and still aim for a natural birth. However, if it comes down to a c-section I will be disappointed, but blah blah blah all that matters is a healthy child. I'm practising to say that to people because I will be really sad if I don't get to have the birth I want.
So now for a weekend of waiting. Although with everything going on right now I'm not sure I will have that much time to actually think about it.
I have to pack up most of our house so that we can move it to the house we are renovating. Unfortunately this is difficult because I would really like to have at least one room done in which to put stuff so we don't have to move it ten times... but alas we have to complete painting and trim in minimum the three rooms that are the closest to finished. However, I suppose I could just pack everything up and keep it at the house we are living in until those rooms are completed.
I mainly need to make a place for donating stuff, throwing away stuff, and keeping stuff. I need to purge because I don't want to bring a ton of clutter into a new place. Maybe the nesting energy will kick in! Fingers crossed!
I also need to go shopping for the things that are most critical in preparing for this baby like a diaper bag and the stuff that we need to take to the hospital. I need to buy some nursing tank tops and something more comfortable maternity wear wise to wear around the house. It feels like my tummy is growing out of everything these days! I know this to be true because of the excessive stretch marks that seem never ending! I have a lower stomach that is almost entirely tiger stripes, so hot....
In between the packing, cleaning, and shopping I will need to make time for resting and homework as well... I have a feeling this weekend is going to fly by and the ultrasound will be here before I know it!
Has anyone had an ultrasound at 36 weeks? I assume it will be much different from my 20 week one, and I'm wondering how much detail you can see? Facial features?
Hope to report great news next time! Have a great week everyone!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Baby Chocosaur!
I've been a really delinquent Pregosaur... I had my baby in November but things have been so busy for us, adjusting to life with a newborn, that I've been meaning to blog about her birth but just never got around to it. So, without further ado, here's how our little baby Chocosaur made her entrance into this world...
On November 6th (39 weeks, 2 days) I had an Ob appointment and my cervix was "soft" but I still wasn't dilated. We discussed a possible induction on either November 12th (40 weeks, 1 day) or November 16th (40 weeks, 5 days) because the doctor did not want me going beyond 41 weeks. She had me come back on the 10th and based on that visit, we were going to decide what to do. On the 10th I went in and she told me that I was now a fingertip dilated but the baby hadn't dropped all the way.
Honestly, there was a lot of temptation to go ahead and schedule the induction for the 12th because at that point I was just done being pregnant. I was huge and uncomfortable, had trouble sleeping, and I was just eager to meet my little one! That said, I really wanted what was best for the baby so I put my feelings aside and we decided that we would try to give her at least a little more time before inducing. The nurses had already scheduled us for a November 12th induction at the hospital to hold a spot, but we simply rescheduled it for November 16th, hoping the baby would come in her own time before then.
Later that night after my appointment, I started having contractions. I always wondered during my pregnancy how I would know when I was having real contractions. I had heard that real contractions are painful, and that "you'll just know." I hate to also say it, but you really do "just know" when you start feeling them because they are very intense and mild to moderately painful.
My contractions were coming 5 minutes apart and lasted for 90 minutes. (The doctor had said to call if they lasted for longer than 60 minutes, but given how many contractions I had in the past, I thought I would give it more time.) So when I finally hit the 90 minute mark I figured I should call the doctor and let her know. Of course as soon as I went to grab the phone, the contractions started to go away. I was still having them, but at sporadic intervals...every 6-10 minutes with no clear pattern of progression. So I decided to just wait it out until morning to call. When I called, they said just to come in to get checked so we came in as a walk in appointment. The office was packed and we waited for over an hour to be seen. I was still having contractions at this point, but only every 10-15 minutes or so. After a long wait, I was put in an exam room and the doctor finally came in and checked me - I was still just a fingertip dilated - nothing had changed from the previous day. So they sent me home to wait some more. I was so sure that they were going to say I was at least 2 cm dilated, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
So I went home and went about my day as usual. Around 6pm, I started having contractions again. Again, these were very sporadic, but there was a definite period of time where they were 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. But again, they tapered off and started coming in different time intervals again so I decided to just sit through them. Before going to bed, I showed Mr. Chocosaur the log I was keeping of contractions that night and asked him if he thought I should call the doctor again - he said no, since they were all over the place like the were the previous night. So I went to bed, or tried to get some sleep at least. I never did fall asleep - I had been having trouble falling asleep for quite some time from just being so big and uncomfortable. Add some contractions to the mix and I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep. Then the contractions started to become more painful. I had stopped timing them but they suddenly felt like they were pretty frequent so I started timing them again. This time, they were coming every 2 minutes. Because they were so intense and coming so close together, I decided to call the on-call doctor to find out if I should come in or if I should see if these last for at least an hour (at this point they had only been coming for about 15 minutes). The on-call doctor told me to go drink a bunch of water and get hydrated, then wait and see if they would continue to last for a full hour. If they did, he wanted me to call back and then they would have to go in to the hospital. This was at around 11:30pm on the 11th. I got off the phone with him and then proceeded to go downstairs to get some water. At the bottom of the stairs, I felt a small gush. Nothing huge, in fact it felt very similar to other points in the pregnancy where some discharge would come out. In the past, I had thought my water was breaking but went to the bathroom to check, only find it was normal pregnancy discharge. So this time, when I went to check, I was actually surprised to see that underwear wet with no discharge present - and when I wiped, it was bright red blood. It was a small amount of fluid though, so I wasn't sure if this was actually my water breaking or if it was "bloody show."
So I called the doctor back and told him I wasn't sure if my water broke or if it was bloody show - he didn't really answer my question. He simply said, "Well, if your water broke, you should go in." I was a little annoyed by this but was glad that it was late enough in the night that I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be doing my delivery. So, I went and got my hospital bag, packed up the last of the toiletries that I had held off on packing, and we were at the hospital by about 12:30am (about 1 hour after my water broke). When I went to the admissions desk, they recognized my name and asked, "Weren't you supposed to be here tonight for an induction?" I smiled and told her that I was, but that we had decided to reschedule the induction to give the baby more time to come on her own.
Once I was admitted, a nurse came in to check on me. I was still just a fingertip dilated (I couldn't believe it!) and the nurse wasn't sure if my water actually broke or not because she said she had trouble feeling my bag of waters. She said it could have also been the bloody show, but couldn't say for sure. But they went ahead and hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor, took some blood, and started my IV. The nurse told me to get ready for a very long night, because first time moms tend to have very long labors. At this point, Mr. Chocosaur and my mom decided to go home and get some sleep and return in the morning. Before leaving, my hubby told me to try and get some rest - I told him there was no way I was getting any sleep while I was having painful contractions every 2 minutes!!
The nurse told me that I could get the epidural at any time I wanted it. I asked her how much it would slow down the labor and she said it would slow it down some, but not a lot. The nurse also informed me that if your water breaks, the contractions tend to be much stronger than if it has not. I tried really hard to deal with the pain for as long as possible, but with the contractions coming every 2 minutes and hours of labor ahead of me, I finally asked for the epidural around 3:30am. The nurse told me she'd just call and wake up the anesthesiologist and I'd feel better in no time. It didn't make me feel great that he'd be tapping into my spine minutes after waking up, but what choice did I have?
The anesthesiologist came quickly and then they had me sit up in bed with my legs dangling over the edge. I always thought that epidurals were administered while you were laying on your side (like a spinal tap) but I guess not. I was terrified about what it would feel like but it wasn't too bad. The worst part was having to sit still while he was doing it even though I was having contractions. They don't pause while you have the contractions, they just keep going. The nurse told me to lean over the edge of the bed with my back hunched over and cross my arms and breathe through the contractions but they were so painful I had to take my arms and brace her shoulders to get through it. The lidocaine stung a bit going in and when he went to give me the epidural I could still feel it going in! I screamed and he stopped; then he casually said, "I guess we're going to need some more lidocaine." After the second injection of lidocaine I did not feel any pain as he inserted it, but I did feel some pressure. There was another brief moment of pain as he did things. I have no idea what all he did but at one point he said, "You're going to feel a back cramp now, totally normal," and when I yelped he said, "good, that's what we want." Ha! Shortly thereafter, the drugs started to kick in and all the pain from the contractions was gone... it was wonderful. I could still feel slight pressure from each contraction, but all the pain was gone. This was around 3:45am. From then on, I was able to doze in and out of sleep. I wasn't ever able to get any really good sleep, as the nurse kept coming in to check on me, adjust my monitors, etc. Plus the blood pressure cuff was checking my blood pressure every 10 or 15 minutes and it would wake me up.
Around 6am the nurse called my Ob who was thankfully on-call that day - this is why we had scheduled the induction on the 12th in the first place. She wanted to go ahead and augment my labor with pitocin because once your water breaks, you need to deliver within 24 hours or else the risk of infection gets really high. So the nurse came in around 6:30am and checked my cervix one more time before starting the pitocin. I was 2 cm dilated (finally), so at least I was progressing a little bit. At this point, the pad they had put under me was soaked and there was meconium in it so the nurse said that it was definitely my water that had broken and wasn't just bloody show earlier. I was a little worried at this point due to the meconium being in the amniotic fluid - the whole reason we had discussed induction was to decrease the risk of meconium aspiration which goes up after 41 weeks. There was nothing we could do about it though, except wait and see.
So they started the pitocin in my IV - I couldn't really feel any difference in the contractions but from there on out, I was happy to see that I was progressing exactly as I should be. By 7:30am I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. By 10am I was 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. By noon I was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced but the baby had not totally dropped so the Ob was concerned about that. If she didn't drop, I wouldn't be able to deliver her vaginally. Furthermore, the doctor felt like the baby might be tilted a bit to where part of her head was face up. She said that babies that are "sunny side up" are more difficult to deliver so she wanted to try and reposition me to see if we get the baby to turn. So they had me labor on my side, with my leg elevated straight out in a stirrup. By 2pm I was 10cm dilated and the baby had dropped completely and turned over on her back - laboring on my side had worked! I was so relieved to hear this. The doctor said we could go ahead and start actively pushing so the nurse started setting everything up. She wheeled in a table and set it up with tools to assist in delivery (vacuum, forceps, etc) as well as instruments for an emergency c-section if needed. By 2:30pm the nurse let me go ahead and start pushing.
At this point I was thinking to myself that having a baby wasn't all that bad. I had painful contractions from about 11:15pm to 3:45am but after I had the epidural, the laboring had been a breeze. Don't get me wrong, the contractions were painful enough that I was desperate to get the epidural as soon as they would let me (we had to wait on the bloodwork results and for me to get enough IV fluids), but I could take them. Well, we tried pushing for about 15 minutes but I didn't "know" what muscles to use to push since I couldn't feel anything down there thanks to the wonderful epidural. Even though I knew this was normal, it kind of bothered me because I thought child birth was supposed to be "natural" and that I would just "know" how to push my baby out!
At that point, they decided that we'd have to turn off the epidural so that I could feel again and push more effectively. So we waited about 10-15 minutes for the epidural to wear off. This was the point where I gained an utmost respect for those moms who choose to labor med-free. The pain from the contractions was SO painful... I would even go as far as calling them unbearably painful!!! I expected pain, but not THAT kind of pain. It was so painful that I was crying - actually sobbing - with each contraction. This was not the labor that I had envisioned for myself.
In any case, the plan worked because once I could feel again, I was able to push more effectively. "More" being the key word - I was pushing, but not pushing hard enough for the baby to advance through the birth canal. Nonetheless, the nurse and doctor kept encouraging me and pushing me to keep going. At one point the nurse tried to tell me how she could see the baby's hair and that I just needed to push "a little harder" so she could come out. In order to try to get her to progress more with each push, they used a special technique with me while I was pushing. They said that if I lean over and hunch over my belly while pushing, it would help compress my belly and apply more pressure to get her to come out faster. So they took a bed sheet and had me hold onto it and they would pull me forward with each contraction/push (there was no way I was staying in that position on my own through that much pain!). They also elevated my legs and pulled them outward in order to get my pelvis to open up as much as possible.
So I pushed...and pushed...and pushed... my hospital gown was soaked in tears ...the contractions were coming every 1.5-2 minutes so I was pretty much sobbing non-stop. Nothing helped. Holding my husband's hand, trying to focus on meeting my baby, taking deep breaths, etc.... none of that helped with the pain. After about an hour and half of this, after I thought I was going to die of pain, they decided to turn the epidural back on a little bit to see if that helped. I am not sure why they didn't do this in the first place (I guess they thought I needed to feel everything in order to figure out which muscles to use...and with partial numbness I would have trouble doing so?) but once I had some pain relief, I felt much better and was able to push harder. In fact, the doctor said that those pushes were the strongest and most effective pushes I had made since we had started.
At 5:00pm, after I had been pushing for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, the doctor stopped everything and said we needed to reassess the situation. She said that with first time moms, if the baby isn't out after 2 hours of pushing, it probably isn't going to come out. She said that after 2 hours, the third hour of trying usually isn't very effective because the mom is just so worn out. She then stated that we could continue to try, and if I could just get the baby out a little bit further, she could try to pull her out with either a vacuum or forceps. However, she said that she herself had had a forceps delivery and as a mother she would not recommend that because the recovery is hard on both mom and baby. She also reached in to feel the baby and unfortunately she had turned back over and was sunny side up again, which was one more factor that was going to make it harder to deliver her vaginally.
She then turned to us and asked us what we wanted to do. Mr. Chocosaur turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. At this point, I was SO worn out and tired of hurting that I did not have the energy to even think about this (they even put an oxygen mask on me to help me get through the contractions). I told him that we could do whatever he wanted to do and that I didn't care anymore! He said it wasn't his decision, but mine... we asked the doctor what the likelihood was of continuing like this and delivering the baby okay - she said about 20%. So then we both kind of decided that we would just go ahead with the c-section. This was at 5:04pm and I remember looking at the clock and asking the doctor, "So this means I'll have my baby and this will be over with before 6:00, right?" My doctor smiled at me and said, "Oh yes, definitely. It won't take long at all." To which I replied, "Great... can I have some more drugs now?" Everyone in the room burst out laughing at this comment and the doctor said, "Yes, we'll get you taken care of."
Once the epidural was back on fully, I felt SO much better. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me some additional drugs, then checked to make sure I was completely numb up to my chest. By 5:24pm they were wheeling me over to the operating room. I remember being so cold from being exposed during the labor, plus all the cold IV fluids that they were giving me (I think I had received at least 2-3 liters by then!). I was shivering uncontrollably even though they put blankets on me. I am not sure if it was the drugs or just the sheer exhaustion of having been up for so long and having labored for so long, but the rest of the evening was a bit of a blur to me...
I remember them transferring me from the hospital bed to the operating room table and the nurse anesthetist talking to me and giving me drugs. I was still shivering uncontrollably at this point - I remember wishing I could warm up so I could feel a little more relaxed (even my teeth were chattering). I am not even sure exactly when they started but I remember thinking to myself that they weren't even waiting for my husband before making the initial incision. I heard them ask for someone to go get him, but I think they started cutting immediately thereafter. Once he was by my head, I asked him what the burning smell was and he told me it was the cautery they were using. I remember thinking to myself, "great, I can smell myself burning." Minutes later, at 5:42pm, they pulled her from my belly and I could hear her crying immediately. The first thing my Ob said was, "Oh she is just beautiful! So beautiful." Before taking her to get cleaned up and everything, they brought her by for me to see her and I immediately started crying. Mr. Chocosaur asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just so happy she is here and this is all over now." After that, they cleaned her up, weighed her, and I heard them give her an apgar score of 8 and then 9. She was 7 pounds, 4.4 ounces and 20 inches long.
My Ob actually told me that once they were in there, she could see that my pelvis was too small and that's why she wasn't progressing when I was pushing. She said I could have pushed until I was blue in the face, but my baby was not coming out except via c-section. She said that my pelvic outlet (which she could feel on her internal exams) was big enough, but my pelvic inlet (which she couldn't see until they opened me up) was way too small for her head to fit through. I just thought to myself, "Well, that would have been nice to know 24 hours ago!!"
After the surgery was done they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so I could recover and spend some time with her before she went to the nursery for her first bath. I remember feeling so groggy during this time that I don't even remember trying to breast feed her. I remember them undressing her so we could have some skin to skin contact before breast feeding, but that's it. Still, I remember how great it felt to finally have her snuggled up against me! I just looked at her and could not believe that this tiny little perfect baby was mine! It was a wonderful ending to very very long ordeal...
I know this is a very, very long post, but I always enjoyed reading other women's birth stories so I hope some of Pregosaur's readers have enjoyed reading mine. I suppose this will be my last post to this blog, as I am no longer a "Pregosaur." Life with a newborn has been crazy exhausting, stressful, and amazingly wonderful all at the same time. I'm not quite ready to transition over to Littlesaur just yet (don't know where I'd find the time!), but maybe someday when baby Chocosaur is a little older! It's been a pleasure being a contributor to this blog, and I wish nothing but the best to all the other Pregosaurs and readers of this blog as everyone makes their journey to motherhood!
On November 6th (39 weeks, 2 days) I had an Ob appointment and my cervix was "soft" but I still wasn't dilated. We discussed a possible induction on either November 12th (40 weeks, 1 day) or November 16th (40 weeks, 5 days) because the doctor did not want me going beyond 41 weeks. She had me come back on the 10th and based on that visit, we were going to decide what to do. On the 10th I went in and she told me that I was now a fingertip dilated but the baby hadn't dropped all the way.
Honestly, there was a lot of temptation to go ahead and schedule the induction for the 12th because at that point I was just done being pregnant. I was huge and uncomfortable, had trouble sleeping, and I was just eager to meet my little one! That said, I really wanted what was best for the baby so I put my feelings aside and we decided that we would try to give her at least a little more time before inducing. The nurses had already scheduled us for a November 12th induction at the hospital to hold a spot, but we simply rescheduled it for November 16th, hoping the baby would come in her own time before then.
Later that night after my appointment, I started having contractions. I always wondered during my pregnancy how I would know when I was having real contractions. I had heard that real contractions are painful, and that "you'll just know." I hate to also say it, but you really do "just know" when you start feeling them because they are very intense and mild to moderately painful.
My contractions were coming 5 minutes apart and lasted for 90 minutes. (The doctor had said to call if they lasted for longer than 60 minutes, but given how many contractions I had in the past, I thought I would give it more time.) So when I finally hit the 90 minute mark I figured I should call the doctor and let her know. Of course as soon as I went to grab the phone, the contractions started to go away. I was still having them, but at sporadic intervals...every 6-10 minutes with no clear pattern of progression. So I decided to just wait it out until morning to call. When I called, they said just to come in to get checked so we came in as a walk in appointment. The office was packed and we waited for over an hour to be seen. I was still having contractions at this point, but only every 10-15 minutes or so. After a long wait, I was put in an exam room and the doctor finally came in and checked me - I was still just a fingertip dilated - nothing had changed from the previous day. So they sent me home to wait some more. I was so sure that they were going to say I was at least 2 cm dilated, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
So I went home and went about my day as usual. Around 6pm, I started having contractions again. Again, these were very sporadic, but there was a definite period of time where they were 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. But again, they tapered off and started coming in different time intervals again so I decided to just sit through them. Before going to bed, I showed Mr. Chocosaur the log I was keeping of contractions that night and asked him if he thought I should call the doctor again - he said no, since they were all over the place like the were the previous night. So I went to bed, or tried to get some sleep at least. I never did fall asleep - I had been having trouble falling asleep for quite some time from just being so big and uncomfortable. Add some contractions to the mix and I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep. Then the contractions started to become more painful. I had stopped timing them but they suddenly felt like they were pretty frequent so I started timing them again. This time, they were coming every 2 minutes. Because they were so intense and coming so close together, I decided to call the on-call doctor to find out if I should come in or if I should see if these last for at least an hour (at this point they had only been coming for about 15 minutes). The on-call doctor told me to go drink a bunch of water and get hydrated, then wait and see if they would continue to last for a full hour. If they did, he wanted me to call back and then they would have to go in to the hospital. This was at around 11:30pm on the 11th. I got off the phone with him and then proceeded to go downstairs to get some water. At the bottom of the stairs, I felt a small gush. Nothing huge, in fact it felt very similar to other points in the pregnancy where some discharge would come out. In the past, I had thought my water was breaking but went to the bathroom to check, only find it was normal pregnancy discharge. So this time, when I went to check, I was actually surprised to see that underwear wet with no discharge present - and when I wiped, it was bright red blood. It was a small amount of fluid though, so I wasn't sure if this was actually my water breaking or if it was "bloody show."
So I called the doctor back and told him I wasn't sure if my water broke or if it was bloody show - he didn't really answer my question. He simply said, "Well, if your water broke, you should go in." I was a little annoyed by this but was glad that it was late enough in the night that I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be doing my delivery. So, I went and got my hospital bag, packed up the last of the toiletries that I had held off on packing, and we were at the hospital by about 12:30am (about 1 hour after my water broke). When I went to the admissions desk, they recognized my name and asked, "Weren't you supposed to be here tonight for an induction?" I smiled and told her that I was, but that we had decided to reschedule the induction to give the baby more time to come on her own.
Once I was admitted, a nurse came in to check on me. I was still just a fingertip dilated (I couldn't believe it!) and the nurse wasn't sure if my water actually broke or not because she said she had trouble feeling my bag of waters. She said it could have also been the bloody show, but couldn't say for sure. But they went ahead and hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor, took some blood, and started my IV. The nurse told me to get ready for a very long night, because first time moms tend to have very long labors. At this point, Mr. Chocosaur and my mom decided to go home and get some sleep and return in the morning. Before leaving, my hubby told me to try and get some rest - I told him there was no way I was getting any sleep while I was having painful contractions every 2 minutes!!
The nurse told me that I could get the epidural at any time I wanted it. I asked her how much it would slow down the labor and she said it would slow it down some, but not a lot. The nurse also informed me that if your water breaks, the contractions tend to be much stronger than if it has not. I tried really hard to deal with the pain for as long as possible, but with the contractions coming every 2 minutes and hours of labor ahead of me, I finally asked for the epidural around 3:30am. The nurse told me she'd just call and wake up the anesthesiologist and I'd feel better in no time. It didn't make me feel great that he'd be tapping into my spine minutes after waking up, but what choice did I have?
The anesthesiologist came quickly and then they had me sit up in bed with my legs dangling over the edge. I always thought that epidurals were administered while you were laying on your side (like a spinal tap) but I guess not. I was terrified about what it would feel like but it wasn't too bad. The worst part was having to sit still while he was doing it even though I was having contractions. They don't pause while you have the contractions, they just keep going. The nurse told me to lean over the edge of the bed with my back hunched over and cross my arms and breathe through the contractions but they were so painful I had to take my arms and brace her shoulders to get through it. The lidocaine stung a bit going in and when he went to give me the epidural I could still feel it going in! I screamed and he stopped; then he casually said, "I guess we're going to need some more lidocaine." After the second injection of lidocaine I did not feel any pain as he inserted it, but I did feel some pressure. There was another brief moment of pain as he did things. I have no idea what all he did but at one point he said, "You're going to feel a back cramp now, totally normal," and when I yelped he said, "good, that's what we want." Ha! Shortly thereafter, the drugs started to kick in and all the pain from the contractions was gone... it was wonderful. I could still feel slight pressure from each contraction, but all the pain was gone. This was around 3:45am. From then on, I was able to doze in and out of sleep. I wasn't ever able to get any really good sleep, as the nurse kept coming in to check on me, adjust my monitors, etc. Plus the blood pressure cuff was checking my blood pressure every 10 or 15 minutes and it would wake me up.
Around 6am the nurse called my Ob who was thankfully on-call that day - this is why we had scheduled the induction on the 12th in the first place. She wanted to go ahead and augment my labor with pitocin because once your water breaks, you need to deliver within 24 hours or else the risk of infection gets really high. So the nurse came in around 6:30am and checked my cervix one more time before starting the pitocin. I was 2 cm dilated (finally), so at least I was progressing a little bit. At this point, the pad they had put under me was soaked and there was meconium in it so the nurse said that it was definitely my water that had broken and wasn't just bloody show earlier. I was a little worried at this point due to the meconium being in the amniotic fluid - the whole reason we had discussed induction was to decrease the risk of meconium aspiration which goes up after 41 weeks. There was nothing we could do about it though, except wait and see.
So they started the pitocin in my IV - I couldn't really feel any difference in the contractions but from there on out, I was happy to see that I was progressing exactly as I should be. By 7:30am I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. By 10am I was 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. By noon I was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced but the baby had not totally dropped so the Ob was concerned about that. If she didn't drop, I wouldn't be able to deliver her vaginally. Furthermore, the doctor felt like the baby might be tilted a bit to where part of her head was face up. She said that babies that are "sunny side up" are more difficult to deliver so she wanted to try and reposition me to see if we get the baby to turn. So they had me labor on my side, with my leg elevated straight out in a stirrup. By 2pm I was 10cm dilated and the baby had dropped completely and turned over on her back - laboring on my side had worked! I was so relieved to hear this. The doctor said we could go ahead and start actively pushing so the nurse started setting everything up. She wheeled in a table and set it up with tools to assist in delivery (vacuum, forceps, etc) as well as instruments for an emergency c-section if needed. By 2:30pm the nurse let me go ahead and start pushing.
At this point I was thinking to myself that having a baby wasn't all that bad. I had painful contractions from about 11:15pm to 3:45am but after I had the epidural, the laboring had been a breeze. Don't get me wrong, the contractions were painful enough that I was desperate to get the epidural as soon as they would let me (we had to wait on the bloodwork results and for me to get enough IV fluids), but I could take them. Well, we tried pushing for about 15 minutes but I didn't "know" what muscles to use to push since I couldn't feel anything down there thanks to the wonderful epidural. Even though I knew this was normal, it kind of bothered me because I thought child birth was supposed to be "natural" and that I would just "know" how to push my baby out!
At that point, they decided that we'd have to turn off the epidural so that I could feel again and push more effectively. So we waited about 10-15 minutes for the epidural to wear off. This was the point where I gained an utmost respect for those moms who choose to labor med-free. The pain from the contractions was SO painful... I would even go as far as calling them unbearably painful!!! I expected pain, but not THAT kind of pain. It was so painful that I was crying - actually sobbing - with each contraction. This was not the labor that I had envisioned for myself.
In any case, the plan worked because once I could feel again, I was able to push more effectively. "More" being the key word - I was pushing, but not pushing hard enough for the baby to advance through the birth canal. Nonetheless, the nurse and doctor kept encouraging me and pushing me to keep going. At one point the nurse tried to tell me how she could see the baby's hair and that I just needed to push "a little harder" so she could come out. In order to try to get her to progress more with each push, they used a special technique with me while I was pushing. They said that if I lean over and hunch over my belly while pushing, it would help compress my belly and apply more pressure to get her to come out faster. So they took a bed sheet and had me hold onto it and they would pull me forward with each contraction/push (there was no way I was staying in that position on my own through that much pain!). They also elevated my legs and pulled them outward in order to get my pelvis to open up as much as possible.
So I pushed...and pushed...and pushed... my hospital gown was soaked in tears ...the contractions were coming every 1.5-2 minutes so I was pretty much sobbing non-stop. Nothing helped. Holding my husband's hand, trying to focus on meeting my baby, taking deep breaths, etc.... none of that helped with the pain. After about an hour and half of this, after I thought I was going to die of pain, they decided to turn the epidural back on a little bit to see if that helped. I am not sure why they didn't do this in the first place (I guess they thought I needed to feel everything in order to figure out which muscles to use...and with partial numbness I would have trouble doing so?) but once I had some pain relief, I felt much better and was able to push harder. In fact, the doctor said that those pushes were the strongest and most effective pushes I had made since we had started.
At 5:00pm, after I had been pushing for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, the doctor stopped everything and said we needed to reassess the situation. She said that with first time moms, if the baby isn't out after 2 hours of pushing, it probably isn't going to come out. She said that after 2 hours, the third hour of trying usually isn't very effective because the mom is just so worn out. She then stated that we could continue to try, and if I could just get the baby out a little bit further, she could try to pull her out with either a vacuum or forceps. However, she said that she herself had had a forceps delivery and as a mother she would not recommend that because the recovery is hard on both mom and baby. She also reached in to feel the baby and unfortunately she had turned back over and was sunny side up again, which was one more factor that was going to make it harder to deliver her vaginally.
She then turned to us and asked us what we wanted to do. Mr. Chocosaur turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. At this point, I was SO worn out and tired of hurting that I did not have the energy to even think about this (they even put an oxygen mask on me to help me get through the contractions). I told him that we could do whatever he wanted to do and that I didn't care anymore! He said it wasn't his decision, but mine... we asked the doctor what the likelihood was of continuing like this and delivering the baby okay - she said about 20%. So then we both kind of decided that we would just go ahead with the c-section. This was at 5:04pm and I remember looking at the clock and asking the doctor, "So this means I'll have my baby and this will be over with before 6:00, right?" My doctor smiled at me and said, "Oh yes, definitely. It won't take long at all." To which I replied, "Great... can I have some more drugs now?" Everyone in the room burst out laughing at this comment and the doctor said, "Yes, we'll get you taken care of."
Once the epidural was back on fully, I felt SO much better. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me some additional drugs, then checked to make sure I was completely numb up to my chest. By 5:24pm they were wheeling me over to the operating room. I remember being so cold from being exposed during the labor, plus all the cold IV fluids that they were giving me (I think I had received at least 2-3 liters by then!). I was shivering uncontrollably even though they put blankets on me. I am not sure if it was the drugs or just the sheer exhaustion of having been up for so long and having labored for so long, but the rest of the evening was a bit of a blur to me...
I remember them transferring me from the hospital bed to the operating room table and the nurse anesthetist talking to me and giving me drugs. I was still shivering uncontrollably at this point - I remember wishing I could warm up so I could feel a little more relaxed (even my teeth were chattering). I am not even sure exactly when they started but I remember thinking to myself that they weren't even waiting for my husband before making the initial incision. I heard them ask for someone to go get him, but I think they started cutting immediately thereafter. Once he was by my head, I asked him what the burning smell was and he told me it was the cautery they were using. I remember thinking to myself, "great, I can smell myself burning." Minutes later, at 5:42pm, they pulled her from my belly and I could hear her crying immediately. The first thing my Ob said was, "Oh she is just beautiful! So beautiful." Before taking her to get cleaned up and everything, they brought her by for me to see her and I immediately started crying. Mr. Chocosaur asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just so happy she is here and this is all over now." After that, they cleaned her up, weighed her, and I heard them give her an apgar score of 8 and then 9. She was 7 pounds, 4.4 ounces and 20 inches long.
My Ob actually told me that once they were in there, she could see that my pelvis was too small and that's why she wasn't progressing when I was pushing. She said I could have pushed until I was blue in the face, but my baby was not coming out except via c-section. She said that my pelvic outlet (which she could feel on her internal exams) was big enough, but my pelvic inlet (which she couldn't see until they opened me up) was way too small for her head to fit through. I just thought to myself, "Well, that would have been nice to know 24 hours ago!!"
After the surgery was done they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so I could recover and spend some time with her before she went to the nursery for her first bath. I remember feeling so groggy during this time that I don't even remember trying to breast feed her. I remember them undressing her so we could have some skin to skin contact before breast feeding, but that's it. Still, I remember how great it felt to finally have her snuggled up against me! I just looked at her and could not believe that this tiny little perfect baby was mine! It was a wonderful ending to very very long ordeal...
I know this is a very, very long post, but I always enjoyed reading other women's birth stories so I hope some of Pregosaur's readers have enjoyed reading mine. I suppose this will be my last post to this blog, as I am no longer a "Pregosaur." Life with a newborn has been crazy exhausting, stressful, and amazingly wonderful all at the same time. I'm not quite ready to transition over to Littlesaur just yet (don't know where I'd find the time!), but maybe someday when baby Chocosaur is a little older! It's been a pleasure being a contributor to this blog, and I wish nothing but the best to all the other Pregosaurs and readers of this blog as everyone makes their journey to motherhood!
