Hello everyone! I am a new blogger to Pregosaur and I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jerseysaur and I am 23 weeks pregnant today.
Like so many other strong beautiful women out there, the road to get to this point was not easy. Before I get into the details let me set up the story for ya... My husband and I met in college in New York and have been together ever since. He proposed to me before my senior year of college as he had already graduated and I knew this was the person I wanted to spend my life with and start a family with someday. We married two years after that and closed on our first home three days before our wedding. The first year of marriage were trials and tribulations associated with picking out countertops and light fixtures. We renovated the whole house before we moved it, at this point babies were not on the forefront of our mind.
After our first anniversary when things started to settle we decided to stop birth control. EEK. For me it was quite emotional and such a change in thoughts, for so long it was "Please NO" and now it was "Pretty Please Yes".
We got pregnant three months after getting off our birth control. I remember thinking how easy it was and how beyond excited we were. We decided to wait to tell our families in person and were seeing them around the 8 week mark. The evening before we were to leave I started spotting and passing clots, at 3am I woke up with labor pains in my back. I passed our baby shortly after. It has been a year since that date. We never got to tell our family we were even pregnant.
Of course we were heartbroken, it made our marriage stronger and we pushed thru. We waited the few months the doctors told us to and tried again. Months of nothing. As the new year turned, my depression was rearing its ugly head and we decided to start testing. I had an HSG, everything looked good, they said I may have had a blockage but the procedure could have cleaned it out. The husband had his sperm checked and that was all normal. I started Clomid that month and it worked again. We were excited but hesitant. This pregnancy did not last long either. Again heartbroken, I screamed and cried. I saw a side of myself I never saw. I had hit rock bottom. I was angry, so very angry. The doctor told us we could try again if we were up to it the next month with no pills or we could wait.
Well as crazy as I was, there was NO waiting. My husband actually had to have surgery the week I was ovulating and I was so upset. We were forced to hold off but that didn't stop us, we had to have sex at least once. Shortly after we went on vacation to Washington DC with clomid in tow, only to have AF never show up. I took a cheap test down there and saw a faint line. Of course I did not believe it at all. Gave it a few days and took a digital test to see the word 'Yes'. I was in disbelief. For real?!?!
The first 12 weeks were Hell, I went to the doctor and had my blood tested. So far so good. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. How was this possible. At the first trimester screening we saw our baby moving and jumping around so quickly the pictures are all blurry. I cried so hard. This was actually it.
My world has flipped inside, outside and backwards in the last 365 days. I sometimes have the 'this is too good to be true' feeling and up until recently would check the TP for blood after going to the bathroom. Now that I can feel our baby girl move, its at a whole new level.
I thank you for reading my story and look forward to sharing the rest of this journey with all of you. ♥
Showing posts with label clomid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clomid. Show all posts
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Update...and question!
Sorry to be away for so long!
Well, according to FF, it's been 7 months now since we started trying to conceive. Not too long in the life of a 35 year old! One cycle was a bust because I ended up with some form of intestinal issue. Before all of that, I had decided I was going to have my thyroid checked out. I had been feeling run down and my friends convinced me to go to the GP. At the same time I decided to have my CD3 and CD22 hormones checked out. Everything has come back as normal, so that's good news. Next thing we need to do is have my husband go for a semen analysis. It's not expensive (100 euro), but with the holidays, visa expenses, and a trip to the US we've decided to wait until after the 1st of the year to have it done.
He's been taking Well.man Conception vitamins and I'm still taking my folic acid, EPO, B6, B Complex, and D vitamins. I'm also going to pick up some Pre-Seed while in the US. We've been using the Conceive Plus that is available here (necessary when you're not totally interested in doing it that night!), but I kind of like the idea of the applicator getting it closer to where it needs to be!
This cycle is going to be a timing nightmare due to travel. So annoying.
Here's a question though...
I have a friend who has three 50mg doses of Clomid left over from when she was TTC. It took them 5 years, but they now have two children (one conceived with her first dose of Clomid, the other conceived without drugs). We've talked at length about what they went through, what her cycles were like and how they are similar to mine, etc. Well, she has offered this Clomid to me a couple of times. I'm not going to lie, it's tempting. But, I feel a little weird about taking a prescription drug without it being prescribed by my doctor! She said I should just contact my doctor and let them know I'm going to do it so I can go in and have a blood draw to ensure that I ovulated. Honestly, the way GPs roll here, that's not a far-fetched way of going about it. My husband feels a bit uncomfortable, but I think that's because I told him my first reaction was uncertainty.
So...what would you do??
Well, according to FF, it's been 7 months now since we started trying to conceive. Not too long in the life of a 35 year old! One cycle was a bust because I ended up with some form of intestinal issue. Before all of that, I had decided I was going to have my thyroid checked out. I had been feeling run down and my friends convinced me to go to the GP. At the same time I decided to have my CD3 and CD22 hormones checked out. Everything has come back as normal, so that's good news. Next thing we need to do is have my husband go for a semen analysis. It's not expensive (100 euro), but with the holidays, visa expenses, and a trip to the US we've decided to wait until after the 1st of the year to have it done.
He's been taking Well.man Conception vitamins and I'm still taking my folic acid, EPO, B6, B Complex, and D vitamins. I'm also going to pick up some Pre-Seed while in the US. We've been using the Conceive Plus that is available here (necessary when you're not totally interested in doing it that night!), but I kind of like the idea of the applicator getting it closer to where it needs to be!
This cycle is going to be a timing nightmare due to travel. So annoying.
Here's a question though...
I have a friend who has three 50mg doses of Clomid left over from when she was TTC. It took them 5 years, but they now have two children (one conceived with her first dose of Clomid, the other conceived without drugs). We've talked at length about what they went through, what her cycles were like and how they are similar to mine, etc. Well, she has offered this Clomid to me a couple of times. I'm not going to lie, it's tempting. But, I feel a little weird about taking a prescription drug without it being prescribed by my doctor! She said I should just contact my doctor and let them know I'm going to do it so I can go in and have a blood draw to ensure that I ovulated. Honestly, the way GPs roll here, that's not a far-fetched way of going about it. My husband feels a bit uncomfortable, but I think that's because I told him my first reaction was uncertainty.
So...what would you do??
Monday, August 16, 2010
Cycle #11 TTC#3 CD9 -OPK
This post title feels like a stock market ticker. Totally unreadable unless you're party of the elite group of stockholders. But since you're at Pregosaur, you are :)
So yep. CD9.Negatove OPK. No shock. I do however have a light line already:
I took 50mg Clomid Cd5-9 this month hoping for a good O with some nice mature follicles. So I'm really hoping that I get a nice strong O on the left side so my lonely tube brings that beautiful eggie to meet it's future.
Come on baby... I'm waiting for you.
So yep. CD9.Negatove OPK. No shock. I do however have a light line already:
I took 50mg Clomid Cd5-9 this month hoping for a good O with some nice mature follicles. So I'm really hoping that I get a nice strong O on the left side so my lonely tube brings that beautiful eggie to meet it's future.Come on baby... I'm waiting for you.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
More surprises....
Last time I posted, I was waiting for the results of my thyroid tests. I was also going in for a sonohysterogram ultrasound the next day. My own fertility doctor performed the ultrasound so I was able to ask about my thyroid tests while I was there. She said my TSH was around 3 and that she was not concerned about it. She was more concerned about my FSH level being 36- she told me that they like to see it below 10 on CD3.
The sonohysterogram was uncomfortable but when it started getting painful, I told my doctor and she stopped. She said that she had enough information and didn't need to continue any further. My uterus and tubes looked fine on the test - good news!
So my next step was to wait for AF to show up again so I could go back for CD3 blood work and ultrasound. I didn't need to wait very long - that cycle was only 20 days long. CD1 was on April 25th. On CD3, I went back into the clinic for my tests. The nurse said I could start Clomid if my FSH levels were below 14. I had my fingers crossed all day! I got another surprise with the results the nurse phoned in to me later that day. My FSH was 14 so I could start the Clomid. Good news! Now, I finally felt like we were doing something.
There was also some bad news - one of my thyroid hormones was a bit low and the doctor was calling in a prescription for levothyroxine for me to start right away. I was disappointed with this. I know it means more blood tests and possibly several dosage adjustments to get my hormone levels balanced. Hypothyroidism can cause infertility and hypothyroidism in pregnancy can cause some serious problems. On the other hand, I am glad I am starting the medication now with the hope that the hypothyroidism will be under control soon. I've been on the medication for a week now and I will need to go back in 4 to 6 weeks for another blood test to check the thyroid hormones.
I took my Clomid this cycle from CD3 to CD7. I didn't really feel any different. I wasn't even sure the Clomid was doing anything. On CD 8, at 8:15 on a Sunday morning, I was back at the clinic for more blood tests and an ultrasound. The clinic was really busy and I was surprised. But in the fertility world, timing is everything!
The blood technicians have been having a hard time getting my blood. A few times they have taken it from the back of my hand which can be quite painful. A friend of ours, who is a fertility clinic veteran with twins, gave us a suggestion. So, this time, I brought my new best friend with me to the clinic:
image source
The sonohysterogram was uncomfortable but when it started getting painful, I told my doctor and she stopped. She said that she had enough information and didn't need to continue any further. My uterus and tubes looked fine on the test - good news!
So my next step was to wait for AF to show up again so I could go back for CD3 blood work and ultrasound. I didn't need to wait very long - that cycle was only 20 days long. CD1 was on April 25th. On CD3, I went back into the clinic for my tests. The nurse said I could start Clomid if my FSH levels were below 14. I had my fingers crossed all day! I got another surprise with the results the nurse phoned in to me later that day. My FSH was 14 so I could start the Clomid. Good news! Now, I finally felt like we were doing something.
There was also some bad news - one of my thyroid hormones was a bit low and the doctor was calling in a prescription for levothyroxine for me to start right away. I was disappointed with this. I know it means more blood tests and possibly several dosage adjustments to get my hormone levels balanced. Hypothyroidism can cause infertility and hypothyroidism in pregnancy can cause some serious problems. On the other hand, I am glad I am starting the medication now with the hope that the hypothyroidism will be under control soon. I've been on the medication for a week now and I will need to go back in 4 to 6 weeks for another blood test to check the thyroid hormones.
I took my Clomid this cycle from CD3 to CD7. I didn't really feel any different. I wasn't even sure the Clomid was doing anything. On CD 8, at 8:15 on a Sunday morning, I was back at the clinic for more blood tests and an ultrasound. The clinic was really busy and I was surprised. But in the fertility world, timing is everything!
The blood technicians have been having a hard time getting my blood. A few times they have taken it from the back of my hand which can be quite painful. A friend of ours, who is a fertility clinic veteran with twins, gave us a suggestion. So, this time, I brought my new best friend with me to the clinic:
image source
Yes, it is a reusable heat pack. I had it on my arm all the while Mr. Pharmasaur was driving us to the clinic. And the tech was able to get my blood without a problem! I was so relieved!
During the ultrasound, the doctor observed one follicle on my left ovary and that my endometrial lining was thin. That wasn't a concern as it was still early in my cycle.
Later on CD8, the nurse from the clinic called me back. This was another surprise. The original plan was for me to do a LH test on Monday morning at home to rule out an early surge, and then go back to the clinic for blood work and ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I was having my LH surge already on CD8 which means that ovulation would most likely follow in 24-36 hours. They told me we should have sex on Sunday and Monday. Then, in two weeks, I should get a blood pregnancy test done. I am now concerned about my thin endometrial lining but I am hoping it will thicken up as my cycle continues. The clinic did not seem to be optimistic about my chances of conception for this cycle. The nurse has given my chart to the fertility doctor for review and to make a plan for next cycle.
I have an appointment to see the fertility doctor on May 17th with Mr. Pharmasaur. I am hoping the results of his sperm analysis will be back by then too. At least we will have more information. I will also get my blood pregnancy test done then. So, I am officially in the 2 week wait now.
image source
During the ultrasound, the doctor observed one follicle on my left ovary and that my endometrial lining was thin. That wasn't a concern as it was still early in my cycle.
Later on CD8, the nurse from the clinic called me back. This was another surprise. The original plan was for me to do a LH test on Monday morning at home to rule out an early surge, and then go back to the clinic for blood work and ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I was having my LH surge already on CD8 which means that ovulation would most likely follow in 24-36 hours. They told me we should have sex on Sunday and Monday. Then, in two weeks, I should get a blood pregnancy test done. I am now concerned about my thin endometrial lining but I am hoping it will thicken up as my cycle continues. The clinic did not seem to be optimistic about my chances of conception for this cycle. The nurse has given my chart to the fertility doctor for review and to make a plan for next cycle.
I have an appointment to see the fertility doctor on May 17th with Mr. Pharmasaur. I am hoping the results of his sperm analysis will be back by then too. At least we will have more information. I will also get my blood pregnancy test done then. So, I am officially in the 2 week wait now.
image sourceActually, no, I don't have any patience. I really wish I did though! It would sure come in handy for these next 2 weeks. One of the biggest things I have learned throughout my TTC process is how impatient I am. If anyone has any tips on developing patience, I'm all ears!
Monday, April 12, 2010
TTC on hold for now......
Let me start off by apologizing for not blogging in the last little while. A lot has been going on and I've been putting off my blogging duties!
Mr. Pharmasaur and I saw the fertility specialist on March 25th. The doctor came up with a plan for us to start on my next cycle. Mr. Pharmasaur has a requisition for a sperm analysis which he can do anytime (apparently he will be doing that this coming Wednesday.) We both had the standard infectious disease blood tests required by the clinic. I had a progesterone blood level to see if I'd ovulated (it was CD27 and I had not ovulated at that point.) I highly doubt that I ovulated last cycle.
Then the plan was to wait until CD3, come back in for hormone blood levels and an ultrasound and then start Clomid 100 mg for 5 days. The clinic would have me come back in regularly for cycle monitoring and put us on a schedule of "timed intercourse" to help us conceive.
CD3 ended up being last Wednesday so I went to the clinic early in the morning for my blood work and ultrasound. It feels so strange, walking around the clinic, trying not to be embarrassed to be there. I feel like everyone there is trying not to look at each other - kind of a mixture of feeling uncomfortable and giving others their privacy.
I had the blood work and ultrasound done and I was told to wait for a phone call from the clinic before I took the Clomid. I had a small cyst on my left ovary and if it was estrogen dependent, it would be pointless the take the fertility drug as it could interfere with ovulation.
image source
Mr. Pharmasaur and I saw the fertility specialist on March 25th. The doctor came up with a plan for us to start on my next cycle. Mr. Pharmasaur has a requisition for a sperm analysis which he can do anytime (apparently he will be doing that this coming Wednesday.) We both had the standard infectious disease blood tests required by the clinic. I had a progesterone blood level to see if I'd ovulated (it was CD27 and I had not ovulated at that point.) I highly doubt that I ovulated last cycle.
Then the plan was to wait until CD3, come back in for hormone blood levels and an ultrasound and then start Clomid 100 mg for 5 days. The clinic would have me come back in regularly for cycle monitoring and put us on a schedule of "timed intercourse" to help us conceive.
CD3 ended up being last Wednesday so I went to the clinic early in the morning for my blood work and ultrasound. It feels so strange, walking around the clinic, trying not to be embarrassed to be there. I feel like everyone there is trying not to look at each other - kind of a mixture of feeling uncomfortable and giving others their privacy.
I had the blood work and ultrasound done and I was told to wait for a phone call from the clinic before I took the Clomid. I had a small cyst on my left ovary and if it was estrogen dependent, it would be pointless the take the fertility drug as it could interfere with ovulation.
image sourceThe clinic did call later that day and told me not to take the Clomid. I was pretty disappointed as I was looking forward to getting some serious help with TTC. My estrogen level was fine at 99. My FSH was high at 32 and my LH (luteinizing hormone) was a bit high at19. They were a little concerned about those numbers. However, they were most concerned with my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) which was 7.13. The high end of the normal range here in Canada is 5. So, I got another requisition to get my thyroid hormones tested again which I got done last Friday. I am still waiting for those results.
So, there will be no cycle monitoring this month. I also have another blood requisition to repeat my CD3 hormone levels in my next cycle. I have a feeling that my FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) may be too high to use fertility drugs. I may be heading into perimenopause.
Our biggest concern however, is the possibility of hypothyroidism. If this is indeed the case, I will need to be put on medication to bring my thyroid hormones back into balance. This usually takes blood work and several dose adjustments to achieve. If we go ahead and TTC with untreated hypothyroidism, it could put us at risk of miscarriage and birth defects if we can even conceive at all. At the age of 40, any delays like this can really have an impact on our future chances of conception.
Tomorrow, I am going back to the clinic for a sonohysterogram ultrasound which I am not really looking forward too. However, we are doing this to see if there are any physical problems with my reproductive organs that could be preventing conception. After the thyroid hormone surprise, I really hope that there are no more tomorrow!
So, there will be no cycle monitoring this month. I also have another blood requisition to repeat my CD3 hormone levels in my next cycle. I have a feeling that my FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) may be too high to use fertility drugs. I may be heading into perimenopause.
Our biggest concern however, is the possibility of hypothyroidism. If this is indeed the case, I will need to be put on medication to bring my thyroid hormones back into balance. This usually takes blood work and several dose adjustments to achieve. If we go ahead and TTC with untreated hypothyroidism, it could put us at risk of miscarriage and birth defects if we can even conceive at all. At the age of 40, any delays like this can really have an impact on our future chances of conception.
Tomorrow, I am going back to the clinic for a sonohysterogram ultrasound which I am not really looking forward too. However, we are doing this to see if there are any physical problems with my reproductive organs that could be preventing conception. After the thyroid hormone surprise, I really hope that there are no more tomorrow!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A little reflection & a lot of cramps
I've got the AF blues. Yep, she struck again, and this time has been a doozy! I have cramps like you wouldn't believe & I'm so thankful for extra strength Tylenol. Usually they only last a day, so hopefully I'll be feeling more like myself come tomorrow. The cramps seem much worse this month than normal. I'm not sure if it's because I can usually take a "sick day" and lounge around till they pass, but today I was at church all morning....or if it's one of the effects of being on clomid for the last 3 months that has messed with me.
I'm ready to be done with this medication, that's for sure. My cycles have evened out a bit since the first couple of crazy ones when I started clomid. The meds seem to be hindering me more than helping. My CM is not normal at all, so FF has a hard time registering that I've ovulated. I've never had that problem before I started the meds. I decided awhile ago that clomid was as far as I would go with any medical help in ttc. From now on, I just want to be my normal self, pregnancy or no pregnancy.
I've been going through some different emotions lately when it comes to ttc. I've been reflecting on my life this past week for a couple of reasons. First of all, it's been almost 2 years since my husband returned from Afghanistan. Back then I thought for sure by now we'd have another child...boy was I wrong. We've had 23 months of this roller coaster, and as I'm sure you realize, it doesn't get easier the longer you try. The other aspect of life that I've been reflecting on is that I'm getting ready to turn 30 next month. Thinking back to when my daughter was an infant & toddler, I thought for sure I'd have at least one more child by the time I reached 30. My thoughts about what size our family would be have shifted dramatically since I was 25 years old. It makes me wonder where I'll be at 35, and whether it's worth it to keep up with ttc or if we should focus on life as a family of 3 for the long term. I just don't know...
To top it all off, I'm surrounded by pregnant ladies, babies, and baby stuff regularly...so it's difficult to get this off my mind. It's hard to just not think about it, when that's the stage of life that I'm in. I don't work outside the home, so I don't have anything to distract me from home and family life. Not that I want anything to distract me from my primary job, but thinking of having more children seems to come along with the territory.
I'm hoping & praying for consistent peace in this arena of my life soon. One thing I do know is that it's possible. Lord have mercy on me.
I'm ready to be done with this medication, that's for sure. My cycles have evened out a bit since the first couple of crazy ones when I started clomid. The meds seem to be hindering me more than helping. My CM is not normal at all, so FF has a hard time registering that I've ovulated. I've never had that problem before I started the meds. I decided awhile ago that clomid was as far as I would go with any medical help in ttc. From now on, I just want to be my normal self, pregnancy or no pregnancy.
I've been going through some different emotions lately when it comes to ttc. I've been reflecting on my life this past week for a couple of reasons. First of all, it's been almost 2 years since my husband returned from Afghanistan. Back then I thought for sure by now we'd have another child...boy was I wrong. We've had 23 months of this roller coaster, and as I'm sure you realize, it doesn't get easier the longer you try. The other aspect of life that I've been reflecting on is that I'm getting ready to turn 30 next month. Thinking back to when my daughter was an infant & toddler, I thought for sure I'd have at least one more child by the time I reached 30. My thoughts about what size our family would be have shifted dramatically since I was 25 years old. It makes me wonder where I'll be at 35, and whether it's worth it to keep up with ttc or if we should focus on life as a family of 3 for the long term. I just don't know...
To top it all off, I'm surrounded by pregnant ladies, babies, and baby stuff regularly...so it's difficult to get this off my mind. It's hard to just not think about it, when that's the stage of life that I'm in. I don't work outside the home, so I don't have anything to distract me from home and family life. Not that I want anything to distract me from my primary job, but thinking of having more children seems to come along with the territory.
I'm hoping & praying for consistent peace in this arena of my life soon. One thing I do know is that it's possible. Lord have mercy on me.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The C Word
I had my consultation with Dr. F my reproductive endocrinologist this morning. I went in to get the results of all our testing. She started off with the hubs. He got an A+. She mention that his motility is a little bit lower than she would like to see but no where near a bad level so he didn't get any marks taken off. Then she got to me. I on the other hand didn't do so well.
She starts off my asking if I know what polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is. I tell her I am familiar with it and she thinks I may have it because when I had my ultrasound they saw I had more than the normal amount of follicles. Also, I guess my insulin is high not diabetes high but higher than it should be. That combined with my irregular cycles I have PCOS. I wasn't really too surprised given my track record with menstruation. She thinks it will be fairly easy for me to become pregnant using *gasp* clomid. Yes that is the C word I am talking about.
Dr. F went on to give me the side effects of clomid and even gave me its nickname which is apparently clomonster which I thought was funny. I probably wont think it is so funny when I am on it. I mentioned that my last cycle shorted to 28 days and she said that it was great and wants me to come in next Monday which will be cycle day 20 to test me to see if I have ovulated. If I did then we wait for Aunt Flo to show up and if not then they give me some pill to take for 10 days to bring it on. On cycle day 3 I will go back for an ultrasound to make sure my follicles are developing on track. Then take clomid for 5 days and then I go back in for blood work near cycle day 12 and then I get the green light to inject myself and then baby dance for two days followed by a progesterone level check. Finally, wait to see if it worked and if not repeat.
Next came the multiple babies talk. Apparently, with the amount of follicles I have my risk for multiples is higher and with clomid there is always a risk of multiple so that is a little scary but better to have two than none right? If clomid doesn't get us pregnant in 3 months then the next step would be a IUI where they inject my husbands sperm into my uterus.
After my appointment I came home and talked to the hubby about all this. I thought for sure he would say lets try on our own for a while and see what happens. But he is on board, self pay and all. Becoming pregnant is looking more and more like a reality for us. It is exciting and a little scary but I am finally 100% emotionally ready for this. In the past few months I have done a bit a teetering back and forth about becoming pregnant and what kind of changes it would mean for not only me but for us as a couple. I have come to the point where I say bring it on.
She starts off my asking if I know what polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is. I tell her I am familiar with it and she thinks I may have it because when I had my ultrasound they saw I had more than the normal amount of follicles. Also, I guess my insulin is high not diabetes high but higher than it should be. That combined with my irregular cycles I have PCOS. I wasn't really too surprised given my track record with menstruation. She thinks it will be fairly easy for me to become pregnant using *gasp* clomid. Yes that is the C word I am talking about.
Dr. F went on to give me the side effects of clomid and even gave me its nickname which is apparently clomonster which I thought was funny. I probably wont think it is so funny when I am on it. I mentioned that my last cycle shorted to 28 days and she said that it was great and wants me to come in next Monday which will be cycle day 20 to test me to see if I have ovulated. If I did then we wait for Aunt Flo to show up and if not then they give me some pill to take for 10 days to bring it on. On cycle day 3 I will go back for an ultrasound to make sure my follicles are developing on track. Then take clomid for 5 days and then I go back in for blood work near cycle day 12 and then I get the green light to inject myself and then baby dance for two days followed by a progesterone level check. Finally, wait to see if it worked and if not repeat.
Next came the multiple babies talk. Apparently, with the amount of follicles I have my risk for multiples is higher and with clomid there is always a risk of multiple so that is a little scary but better to have two than none right? If clomid doesn't get us pregnant in 3 months then the next step would be a IUI where they inject my husbands sperm into my uterus.
After my appointment I came home and talked to the hubby about all this. I thought for sure he would say lets try on our own for a while and see what happens. But he is on board, self pay and all. Becoming pregnant is looking more and more like a reality for us. It is exciting and a little scary but I am finally 100% emotionally ready for this. In the past few months I have done a bit a teetering back and forth about becoming pregnant and what kind of changes it would mean for not only me but for us as a couple. I have come to the point where I say bring it on.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Huge decisions
This past week I made a HUGE decision about where to go with our TTC journey. After last cycle's m/c my doctor recommended that DH and I go to an RE (infertility specialist) and start further treatment with her. She mentions that Clomid would be a good place to start.
I said that sounded great and then went home and really started researching our options. They did not make me happy. I am a very "Green" person. I reduced the amount of chemicals I have in my home, I always try to use homeopathic remedies before getting prescriptions, and all of this IF treatment in general made me feel very nervous. But I really, really, really want a baby and I'm willing to do pretty much anything!
Then a few days ago I learned that there is a new birth center opening up in my town. I decided to contact them to see if I can start doing Well-Woman care there (I'm due for a Pap, fun times!) and they invited me over to meet them and speak with them about that. I showed up and this place was FANTASTIC! I really got a good vibe from it.
As we chatted more they mentioned that there are lots of fertility options out there for women who are looking to try a more natural route to having a baby and dealing with IF issues. After leaving the center I made the decision to NOT go to the RE appointment and instead will be switching completely to the center and midwife care. I figure it's worth a shot and something I am way more comfortable with. I figured if I still don't get pregnant in 6 months or so I can always just go back to the RE and explore my other options. But for now I am so happy that I have found a solution that I am more comfortable with and am SO excited for!
So hopefully I have more updates in the future as we start exploring these options. Again, I'm sorry I've been such a bad 'saur, I just rarely have anything to talk about since we haven't been able to conceive yet.
I said that sounded great and then went home and really started researching our options. They did not make me happy. I am a very "Green" person. I reduced the amount of chemicals I have in my home, I always try to use homeopathic remedies before getting prescriptions, and all of this IF treatment in general made me feel very nervous. But I really, really, really want a baby and I'm willing to do pretty much anything!
Then a few days ago I learned that there is a new birth center opening up in my town. I decided to contact them to see if I can start doing Well-Woman care there (I'm due for a Pap, fun times!) and they invited me over to meet them and speak with them about that. I showed up and this place was FANTASTIC! I really got a good vibe from it.
As we chatted more they mentioned that there are lots of fertility options out there for women who are looking to try a more natural route to having a baby and dealing with IF issues. After leaving the center I made the decision to NOT go to the RE appointment and instead will be switching completely to the center and midwife care. I figure it's worth a shot and something I am way more comfortable with. I figured if I still don't get pregnant in 6 months or so I can always just go back to the RE and explore my other options. But for now I am so happy that I have found a solution that I am more comfortable with and am SO excited for!
So hopefully I have more updates in the future as we start exploring these options. Again, I'm sorry I've been such a bad 'saur, I just rarely have anything to talk about since we haven't been able to conceive yet.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
No Flo No!!
She came, she saw, she conquered. She is Auntie Flo, the conquered one is me. Bottom line is that this sucks.... oh, and please pass the extra strength Tylenol.
And so the journey continues...
I shake my fist and say "CURSE YOU AUNT FLO SCUM!!!"
I guess I feel a little better now.
I had pretty high hopes for this cycle...I didn't start until 14dpo, but a couple of days before AF showed up my temps began to drop. That's always a pretty good indicator.
Here's my complete chart for last month:
So, here we go again. Time to save up energy for some serious BDing.
Mr. Shortysaur and I discussed whether I should do another round of clomid or not, and I think we've decided to try it one more time. Third times a charm, right? I was going back and forth about whether I should take it again because the first month it messed with my temps, and the second one it threw my O date into left field. DH said maybe my body will have adjusted to it after the first two times, and hopefully the third time things will be a little more regular when it comes to O. Sounds like good logic to me! My sweetie is always so supportive, logical and even keeled... I just love that man of mine!
The last time I went to the doctor, he said that we should try clomid for 4-5 months, then if nothing happens, we should come back and explore having a laproscopy to look for things like endometriosis. Up until this point all the tests say we are totally normal and healthy, and I have no other symptoms to suggest anything is wrong other than infertility. So DH and I decided that we're not going have any more intervention or tests after this last round of clomid, unless in the future I start having serious pain or something else to indicate that there is something wrong.
I decided early on that if all the tests say we're healthy, then it's just a matter waiting on God for the right timing. As I've said in previous posts, it's all about faith for me and I believe that if we are meant to have another child then it will happen at the perfect time. I know I'm being refined and tested through this whole process and I feel priviledged that this experience is making me a better person and a more loving mother for my sweet little girl and for my children that are yet to be...
Don't get me wrong, it is not easy to stay focused on those aspects. I could never do it without my wonderful husband. For example, DH came to the rescue on the morning that AF showed up when I was feeling pretty down. Before he left for work he said to me that he had been thinking all morning about how thankful he is for all that we have, and that we always need to remember to be thankful no matter what because we are so blessed already. He always says exactly what I need to hear at the perfect time. After he left I prayed for peace in my heart and a wonderful sense of calm came over me. I actually ended up having a really good day, amazingly enough.
In all honesty I'm often tempted to give up on ttc all together, but I always change my mind. I can never lose hope that the desire of our hearts will be fulfilled someday and that we should keep at it until we are triumphant!
And so the journey continues...
Friday, January 15, 2010
About that little white pill called Clomid
I’ve been asked about my personal experience with Clomid so far. In one word: confusing.
For those of you who don’t know what Clomid does to help you get pregnant, here’s the scoop. First of all, it’s typically for women with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) or other ovulation related disorders. Women who have PCOS typically have irregular cycles and may not ovulate, so Clomid helps them to actually ovulate.
Here’s a brief explanation of what Clomid does to your body: Clomiphene (Clomid) assists in increasing the production of egg maturation in the ovaries. It does this by tricking the body. It acts by inhibiting the action of estrogen on the gonadotrope cells in the anterior pituitary gland, which then starts to, or increases to, secrete more FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinizing hormone). This leads to a higher rate of ovulation. Clomiphene comes in pills that have to be taken orally on days 3 to 7 or 5 to 9 of your menstrual cycle. (Source: wikiparenting)
Possible side effects of Clomid include:
- hostile cervical mucus
- mood swings
- nausea and vomiting
- breast tenderness
- abdominal pain
- insomnia
- headaches
- blurred vision
- fatigue
- depression
- weight gain
- ovarian cysts
On to my personal situation… in case you’re curious about my side effects I’ll tell you that they weren’t bad at all. The first cycle I took it I had some hot flashes in the middle of the night, and I did notice that my EWCM wasn’t as abundant. One other weird thing was that I felt like I was “in da club” when I would go from a dark room to a light room at night. It was like strobe lights flashing all around. Very strange, indeed.
I also have to say that I have never had a problem ovulating. I’ve charted my bbt off and on for quite a few years now, and I always had a clear and sustained temperature rise every month. Typically I would ovulate anywhere between day 13 and day 17 of my cycle. So when the doctor had me start Clomid I wasn’t quite sure what would happen to my body. Logically you would think that if I already ovulate regularly, then Clomid should make me super ovulate, right?
Not so much…
Here’s my typical FF chart BEFORE Clomid:
See that pretty, pretty chart?
Now that I’ve been on clomid the big O has been entirely uncertain…which translates to complete annoyance and frustration. Here’s my first month’s FF chart on Clomid:
And my second cycle, which is the one I’m on currently:
Can you see what I mean? The first one was not too bad…O on day 16 (although the red line is dashed so it wasn’t entirely conclusive), but my post O temps were quite a bit lower than normal. So I’m thinking, “do I have a progesterone issue or something?” I was just a little confused…
And look at my current cycle! I actually decided to use OPK’s this month, and did that between days 11-18, BFN on the OPK’s, the whole time (see all those ugly little negative signs?) I thought I wasn’t going to O at all. O finally came on what I think was day 22, but FF said it was day 25. That’s why I did the override and my chart shows a blue line instead of red. But seriously, DAY 22-25 FOR O??? That just plain stinks! I NEVER O that late…and I’m also concerned about the length of my luteal phase, as my cycles are almost always 28-29 days long. I just don’t know if that’s enough time between O and the end of my normal cycle length for implantation if we were successful. Can you see the conundrum I’m in? Geez.
So now that I’ve vented again, I can move onto the more positive aspect of all of this. I am very thankful that I did ovulate, and it is now day 29 of my cycle with no signs of AF in sight. That’s always a good thing! I don’t think I’ve made it to day 30 in at least a year or more. I’m just not sure if it’s because we have something “more” happening, or if it’s because I O’d so late. I guess time will tell, it always does… tick, tick, tick.
Until I have something more conclusive I’ll keep saying lots of prayers and thinking positive hopeful thoughts…positive hopeful thoughts….positive hopeful thoughts….
Like this one:
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
My mega super long introduction
Thump, thump…is this thing on??
Before I even begin I want to make a disclaimer. I do not consider myself to be witty or eloquent. But I do surprise myself once in a great while. Just didn't want you to get your hopes up too high...
I also have a LONG ttc history, so if you want to stick around and read it, feel free to pull up your easy chair.
Okay, now that I’ve cleared those things up…
Let me formally introduce myself. The name is Shortysaur, betcha can’t guess why I chose that name! Yep, I’m a little vertically challenged, but I don’t let that stand in my way. I embrace it!
Before I even begin I want to make a disclaimer. I do not consider myself to be witty or eloquent. But I do surprise myself once in a great while. Just didn't want you to get your hopes up too high...
I also have a LONG ttc history, so if you want to stick around and read it, feel free to pull up your easy chair.
Okay, now that I’ve cleared those things up…
Let me formally introduce myself. The name is Shortysaur, betcha can’t guess why I chose that name! Yep, I’m a little vertically challenged, but I don’t let that stand in my way. I embrace it!
So why am I the newbie at Pregosaur? Well, I thought I could add a little something to the prego-pot since I didn’t see anyone else on the roster who has dealt with my situation; I thought I may be able to contribute in a positive way. You see, I already have a little girl who is 5 years old and the sunshine in my life, but my little one wants a sibling ... that’s actually an understatement. She prays for a sibling multiple times a day! My DH and I have had trouble conceiving a second child for quite some time now. You would call what I’m experiencing 'secondary infertility' although I really despise that term. It’s hard to make sense of why we haven't been able to conceive again after we've already had one perfect pregnancy and an even more perfect child. Not to say that conceiving our DD was easy, it did take some time, but soon after I started charting my bbt and getting in tune with my body cycles I got that ever elusive BFP. What an amazing experience that was! I can’t wait to see that again someday (Lord willing, soon!).
Mr. Shortysaur and I have been married since 2002 and our daughter was born in the summer of 2004. We have been ttc off and on since our DD was 18 months old. But there’s a catch. My husband is a former soldier, who has been deployed twice in our daughter’s lifetime. Once to Iraq for a year and the second time to Afghanistan for 15 months.
Talk about throwing a monkey wrench in our ttc efforts! (Hence the reason we've been trying "off and on"). When he returned from his first deployment, we began ttc right away with diligently charting my bbt daily and trying to get that timing just right. We tried for a whole year. What an emotional year that was! One of the most difficult things was that we were book ended by deployments, so the pressure was on! We had a ttc deadline people!
But every month it was the same roller coaster ride of emotions…up, down, up, down…I'd get all emotional right before AF was scheduled to show up, and he'd say things like "is this normal? This can't be normal!" It also didn’t make it any easier on me that my best friend was pregnant with her second child at the time. Talk about a strain on a friendship…if you’ve ever been through that, you know what I mean. (Beware of the green-eyed monster!) My best friend and I are now closer than ever, in part because we went through those trying times together.
So after a long year of ttc and dealing with the stress of another pending deployment, we were still without bun-in-the-oven. And we were without prospects for trying again for another 15 months! (Well, except when he came home for 2 weeks on R&R, but that’s a crap shoot at best trying to time it right). My focus shifted dramatically from “baby on the brain” to “husband is in danger daily” ahhhhhh!!!
Mr. Shortysaur and I have been married since 2002 and our daughter was born in the summer of 2004. We have been ttc off and on since our DD was 18 months old. But there’s a catch. My husband is a former soldier, who has been deployed twice in our daughter’s lifetime. Once to Iraq for a year and the second time to Afghanistan for 15 months.
Talk about throwing a monkey wrench in our ttc efforts! (Hence the reason we've been trying "off and on"). When he returned from his first deployment, we began ttc right away with diligently charting my bbt daily and trying to get that timing just right. We tried for a whole year. What an emotional year that was! One of the most difficult things was that we were book ended by deployments, so the pressure was on! We had a ttc deadline people!
But every month it was the same roller coaster ride of emotions…up, down, up, down…I'd get all emotional right before AF was scheduled to show up, and he'd say things like "is this normal? This can't be normal!" It also didn’t make it any easier on me that my best friend was pregnant with her second child at the time. Talk about a strain on a friendship…if you’ve ever been through that, you know what I mean. (Beware of the green-eyed monster!) My best friend and I are now closer than ever, in part because we went through those trying times together.
So after a long year of ttc and dealing with the stress of another pending deployment, we were still without bun-in-the-oven. And we were without prospects for trying again for another 15 months! (Well, except when he came home for 2 weeks on R&R, but that’s a crap shoot at best trying to time it right). My focus shifted dramatically from “baby on the brain” to “husband is in danger daily” ahhhhhh!!!
Thankfully while he was deployed that second time, we decided that once he returned he would get out of the Army. What a RELIEF!! Wow, I can’t even tell you how big of a weight that was lifted off our shoulders knowing that he would never deploy again. Don’t get me wrong, I grew tremendously through it all and my relationship with DH is stronger than ever because of everything we went through, but thank God it’s in the past!
Once DH returned from Afghanistan we started planning a strategy for ttc again. Our DD was almost 4 at the time, so the space between kids was getting greater and greater. I was not anywhere near too old, but I wasn’t getting any younger either! We decided to take the “chill mode” approach to ttc this time, thinking that it may have been the stress that prevented it before. I wasn’t going to chart my bbt or focus on ttc too much. We were in the category of “whatever happens happens”. Well, you know what happened?
Zip, zero, nada… a whole year later after he got home, we still had no BFP. Hesitantly, I decided to start charting my bbt again. You know when that was? 9 MONTHS AGO! UGH! How frustrating! I’m SO frustrated!! Ok, I’m done venting…sorry. Case in point why I decided to start blogging about my situation, I seriously need an outlet. For real.
This was a bit of a reality check for me because the way you take clomid for this test is the same way you take it to try and get pregnant. Up until this point, I had never actually pictured myself taking fertility meds. My reality was quickly shifting. The process for this test was to give me a blood test, then I took clomid from days 5-9 of my cycle and then tested my blood again. The test is specifically to look at hormone levels, namely estrodiol (estrogen) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). Second test complete. Results: normal.
The doctor did say that they didn’t give me clomid specifically to help me get pregnant then, it was just for the test, but sometimes that can be a side effect. Bonus #2! So I was hopeful that maybe the medication would do the trick. Nope. I got my hopes up, and then crushed…again. The last test I had to undergo was called a Hysteroscopy. (No, not a hysterectomy, lol.) The process for this one is similar to the HSG, but this time they put a camera through my who-ha to see my womb real time on the big screen. They were looking for any fibroids and things of that nature that would prevent pregnancy. Third test complete. Results: normal, once again.
Yes people, I’m NORMAL, totally normal. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful! But it’s also a bit confusing, as I’m sure you can imagine. The doctor told me the next step is to go on clomid for 4-5 months and see if anything happens. Wait and see. Sounds like fun, huh?
Now I sit here on my couch next to my 5 year old who is trying to tickle my neck, and I'm baring my soul to this online community. Here’s my status today: second round of clomid, cycle day 27, 5 DPO (O was totally ambiguous this month...ugh!) waiting to see if AF will rear her oh-so ugly head in a day or two.
I’m looking forward to sharing my continued journey (and hopefully, success!) with you all. Let’s ride this lovely roller-coaster together, shall we?
Once DH returned from Afghanistan we started planning a strategy for ttc again. Our DD was almost 4 at the time, so the space between kids was getting greater and greater. I was not anywhere near too old, but I wasn’t getting any younger either! We decided to take the “chill mode” approach to ttc this time, thinking that it may have been the stress that prevented it before. I wasn’t going to chart my bbt or focus on ttc too much. We were in the category of “whatever happens happens”. Well, you know what happened?
Zip, zero, nada… a whole year later after he got home, we still had no BFP. Hesitantly, I decided to start charting my bbt again. You know when that was? 9 MONTHS AGO! UGH! How frustrating! I’m SO frustrated!! Ok, I’m done venting…sorry. Case in point why I decided to start blogging about my situation, I seriously need an outlet. For real.
You’re probably thinking “Well Shorty, it’s about time you go see a doctor and find out what the heck is going on!” I’m about ten steps ahead of you. Been there, done that. DH and I decided back in October that it was time to find out if there was anything “wrong” with us. He was particularly concerned about his “little swimmers” and if they were performing up to par. He kept saying “what if I’m shooting blanks?” and “it’s probably my fault”. I felt so bad that he was always blaming himself, so I knew it was time to get some answers.
We made an appointment with an OB/GYN who also deals with infertility. (Truth be told, I chose this clinic because they have a midwife on staff *wink, wink*) The doctor was very nice and very thorough in explaining to us the battery of tests we would have to go through to diagnose if anything was wrong. Needless to say I was a bit intimidated, but knew at the same time that I needed some peace-of-mind.
We made an appointment with an OB/GYN who also deals with infertility. (Truth be told, I chose this clinic because they have a midwife on staff *wink, wink*) The doctor was very nice and very thorough in explaining to us the battery of tests we would have to go through to diagnose if anything was wrong. Needless to say I was a bit intimidated, but knew at the same time that I needed some peace-of-mind.
The very first test we underwent was the good old 'semen analysis'. DH was thankful that we were able to get that over and done with right away. Guys have it so easy when it comes to this stuff, don't they? I was very pleased that the doctor had our test results within 24 hours, so I didn't have to wait long at all. The results: DH has abundant, very motile spermies. Woohooo!!
About a week after that, I found myself lying on the x-ray table getting an HSG, which stands for hysterosalpingogram (what a mouthful! I might as well have just said it’s a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious). For those of you who have never heard of this lovely test, it’s where they use our favorite instrument, the speculum to go inside your who-ha and then they open up your cervix just a bit (you’ll feel a pinch and some cramping…ya, you betcha!). Then they squirt a sticky glucose solution through your uterus and blow up a little balloon thingy (sorry I don’t know techy-term). All this is happening while they are looking at the x-ray video on a screen to see if the fluid will flow freely through your fallopian tubes. The test is ultimately to see if you have open tubes and that there are no obstructions. First test complete. Results: normal.
I was actually very hopeful that we would conceive after I got the HSG because it’s also been known to increase fertility for the first 3 months after the test. Bonus! But alas, that didn’t happen. Moving on to the next fun test….this one was called the “clomid challenge test.” I’m sure the word “clomid” made your ears (or actually, your eyes) perk up. They had to give me fertility medication for this test!
I was actually very hopeful that we would conceive after I got the HSG because it’s also been known to increase fertility for the first 3 months after the test. Bonus! But alas, that didn’t happen. Moving on to the next fun test….this one was called the “clomid challenge test.” I’m sure the word “clomid” made your ears (or actually, your eyes) perk up. They had to give me fertility medication for this test!
This was a bit of a reality check for me because the way you take clomid for this test is the same way you take it to try and get pregnant. Up until this point, I had never actually pictured myself taking fertility meds. My reality was quickly shifting. The process for this test was to give me a blood test, then I took clomid from days 5-9 of my cycle and then tested my blood again. The test is specifically to look at hormone levels, namely estrodiol (estrogen) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). Second test complete. Results: normal.
The doctor did say that they didn’t give me clomid specifically to help me get pregnant then, it was just for the test, but sometimes that can be a side effect. Bonus #2! So I was hopeful that maybe the medication would do the trick. Nope. I got my hopes up, and then crushed…again. The last test I had to undergo was called a Hysteroscopy. (No, not a hysterectomy, lol.) The process for this one is similar to the HSG, but this time they put a camera through my who-ha to see my womb real time on the big screen. They were looking for any fibroids and things of that nature that would prevent pregnancy. Third test complete. Results: normal, once again.
Yes people, I’m NORMAL, totally normal. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful! But it’s also a bit confusing, as I’m sure you can imagine. The doctor told me the next step is to go on clomid for 4-5 months and see if anything happens. Wait and see. Sounds like fun, huh?
Now I sit here on my couch next to my 5 year old who is trying to tickle my neck, and I'm baring my soul to this online community. Here’s my status today: second round of clomid, cycle day 27, 5 DPO (O was totally ambiguous this month...ugh!) waiting to see if AF will rear her oh-so ugly head in a day or two.
I’m looking forward to sharing my continued journey (and hopefully, success!) with you all. Let’s ride this lovely roller-coaster together, shall we?
