Update...and question!

Sorry to be away for so long!

Well, according to FF, it's been 7 months now since we started trying to conceive. Not too long in the life of a 35 year old! One cycle was a bust because I ended up with some form of intestinal issue. Before all of that, I had decided I was going to have my thyroid checked out. I had been feeling run down and my friends convinced me to go to the GP. At the same time I decided to have my CD3 and CD22 hormones checked out. Everything has come back as normal, so that's good news. Next thing we need to do is have my husband go for a semen analysis. It's not expensive (100 euro), but with the holidays, visa expenses, and a trip to the US we've decided to wait until after the 1st of the year to have it done.

He's been taking Well.man Conception vitamins and I'm still taking my folic acid, EPO, B6, B Complex, and D vitamins. I'm also going to pick up some Pre-Seed while in the US. We've been using the Conceive Plus that is available here (necessary when you're not totally interested in doing it that night!), but I kind of like the idea of the applicator getting it closer to where it needs to be!

This cycle is going to be a timing nightmare due to travel. So annoying.

Here's a question though...

I have a friend who has three 50mg doses of Clomid left over from when she was TTC. It took them 5 years, but they now have two children (one conceived with her first dose of Clomid, the other conceived without drugs). We've talked at length about what they went through, what her cycles were like and how they are similar to mine, etc. Well, she has offered this Clomid to me a couple of times. I'm not going to lie, it's tempting. But, I feel a little weird about taking a prescription drug without it being prescribed by my doctor! She said I should just contact my doctor and let them know I'm going to do it so I can go in and have a blood draw to ensure that I ovulated. Honestly, the way GPs roll here, that's not a far-fetched way of going about it. My husband feels a bit uncomfortable, but I think that's because I told him my first reaction was uncertainty.

So...what would you do??

Tests, Tests & More Tests

Baby Craftysaur at 37 weeks... this was taken during a biopysical profile ultrasound.

My Dr.'s appointment on Monday didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped or expected! I woke up that morning feeling very nauseous with a splitting headache. I ended up throwing up three times before it was time to leave! My blood pressure wasn't terribly high compared to what it had been but I was a little puffy and starting to get a little concerned because of the vomiting. I had it in my head that we would be having a baby this week... it's now Thursday and I am still pregnant and on bed rest!

I turned in my "jug 'o pee" from my 24 hour urine analysis, peed in the cup, got weighed and sent back for my routine check up. The nurse took my blood pressure, asked a few questions and sent in the doctor. The doctor asked how I'd been feeling, measured me, listened to the "Baby" and then admitted me as an out patient to Labor and Delivery.

She ordered a non stress test which is where the mother (me) is hooked up to the fetal monitor just as she would be if she were in labor, and the response of the fetal movements is observed. She also ordered a biophysical profile which generally evaluates, through the use of ultrasound, 4 aspects of life in the uterus: fetal breathing, fetal movement, fetal tone and amniotic fluid volume. I was also given an IV due to dehydration caused by the vomiting.

While the tests were being performed they drew blood to check and make sure my liver and kidneys were functioning normally and they are. They did find protein in my urine again but it was at a +2 which isn't high enough for them to be concerned at this stage in my pregnancy. The non stress test showed that the baby is doing just fine and that I am having contractions off and on but not enough to categorize me as being in "active labor". The biophysical profile had to be done twice because the first time the radiologist came in she was unable to pass us due to my very sleepy "Baby". After a snack and a cold drink he was ready to perform and passed with flying colors in the first 10 minutes!

After about 4 hours or so I was dismissed, told to go home and remain on bed rest for another week and come back next Monday for more fun and games! I got the results of my 24 hour urine analysis back yesterday and I am being asked to retake that test... YUCK! Apparently the volume of urine was much lower than they liked to see. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to tell my nurses and doctors that I have been having trouble peeing. I will fill up on fluids this Sunday and again pee in my little jug only to blow up like a balloon from the retaining of the fluids and sit on the toilet for hours on end because of the pressure from not being able to pass much urine... YAY ME!

They are also considering another non stress test for Monday to check out the "little man" and make sure he is still doing OK. Hopefully we will have an answer as to whether or not I need to be induced next week. As far along as I am now, I am not sure I even want to mess with an induction as long as he's doing OK. I am feeling much better today and am tired of the testing and retesting and would honestly rather have labor set in on it's own between now and then. I am anxious to meet our Baby but as long as he's healthy on the inside, I say why not keep him that way and can we do it w/out remaining on bed rest... PLEASE!

I would love to hear some feedback from those of you who have been induced whether it be because of preeclampsia or other health related issues. What week were you induced and why? Were your baby's lungs fully mature upon delivery? Were your contractions that much more uncomfortable due to the induction? And finally, were you able to have a vaginal delivery w/out it turning into a C-section?

Appointment

After chatting with some friends about my current physical state, they suggested that I have my thyroid checked. I did have a lot of the symptoms of hypothyroidism, so I called and made an appointment with my GP. This was my first visit with my GP here and my first experience with my GP in the UK was less than ideal, so I was a little nervous about how it would go. Thankfully, she was very nice and I didn't even have to suggest the fertility bloodwork I was hoping to have done in addition to the thyroid. Bonus was I happened to be on CD23, so they did that bloodwork today! She also suggested my husband call the local hospital to set up an appointment for a S/A while I was doing all of this. I really appreciated how proactive she was about this.

The one interesting thing (to me at least) was when she asked me if I had been having spotting between periods. For probably 6 months prior to starting to TTC I was having spotting, sometimes it was a bit heavy. She said that this could mean my body wasn't producing enough hormones to fully ovulate. Huh. I didn't even know that could happen! Since we started TTC this has actually stopped and she said this was a good sign as my body was regulating itself again.

The results from the bloodwork should be back by Monday so we'll see what it says!

what a crazy week!!

I feel like I belong in Alice in Wonderland.. "we're all a little mad here.."

I have had strange little lines pop up on IC tests since 8 dpo, but nothing I'm positive about.

FRERs and Answer Earlys do not agree with the ICs.

Fertility Friend keeps moving my O date so I'm 9dpo/10 dpo/9dpo/11dpo... **sigh**

I have officially banned myself from testing until I agree with FF that I am 13 dpo. and even then, only with an IC. If I agree with the line I MIGHT dip the FRER... MAYBE.. I might wait another day even then.

I think my mental facilities have had it with this week. I had a breakdown today and cried in my coffee. This is my 10th cycle TTC, and though I know that is short compared to what some people go through, it is almost more than I can handle.

I hope the rollercoaster is over soon......

Well that nightmare is over... almost

I am CD15 today and I believe I have officially O'd... I think. LOL! FF hasn't agreed yet, but I'm pretty sure.

I have taken my supplements. I have used Pre-seed. I have BD till I'm blue in the face.. and I plan on getting one round in tonight for good measure.

I have dipped a "few" sticks.. and gotten several positive including some smiley faces on digis...

Now I get to sit around and wait on FF to catch up with me and debate on when to test... I'm a POAS addict, so You can bet it won't be long LOL!

More surprises....

Last time I posted, I was waiting for the results of my thyroid tests. I was also going in for a sonohysterogram ultrasound the next day. My own fertility doctor performed the ultrasound so I was able to ask about my thyroid tests while I was there. She said my TSH was around 3 and that she was not concerned about it. She was more concerned about my FSH level being 36- she told me that they like to see it below 10 on CD3.

The sonohysterogram was uncomfortable but when it started getting painful, I told my doctor and she stopped. She said that she had enough information and didn't need to continue any further. My uterus and tubes looked fine on the test - good news!

So my next step was to wait for AF to show up again so I could go back for CD3 blood work and ultrasound. I didn't need to wait very long - that cycle was only 20 days long. CD1 was on April 25th. On CD3, I went back into the clinic for my tests. The nurse said I could start Clomid if my FSH levels were below 14. I had my fingers crossed all day! I got another surprise with the results the nurse phoned in to me later that day. My FSH was 14 so I could start the Clomid. Good news! Now, I finally felt like we were doing something.

There was also some bad news - one of my thyroid hormones was a bit low and the doctor was calling in a prescription for levothyroxine for me to start right away. I was disappointed with this. I know it means more blood tests and possibly several dosage adjustments to get my hormone levels balanced. Hypothyroidism can cause infertility and hypothyroidism in pregnancy can cause some serious problems. On the other hand, I am glad I am starting the medication now with the hope that the hypothyroidism will be under control soon. I've been on the medication for a week now and I will need to go back in 4 to 6 weeks for another blood test to check the thyroid hormones.

I took my Clomid this cycle from CD3 to CD7. I didn't really feel any different. I wasn't even sure the Clomid was doing anything. On CD 8, at 8:15 on a Sunday morning, I was back at the clinic for more blood tests and an ultrasound. The clinic was really busy and I was surprised. But in the fertility world, timing is everything!

The blood technicians have been having a hard time getting my blood. A few times they have taken it from the back of my hand which can be quite painful. A friend of ours, who is a fertility clinic veteran with twins, gave us a suggestion. So, this time, I brought my new best friend with me to the clinic:

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Yes, it is a reusable heat pack. I had it on my arm all the while Mr. Pharmasaur was driving us to the clinic. And the tech was able to get my blood without a problem! I was so relieved!

During the ultrasound, the doctor observed one follicle on my left ovary and that my endometrial lining was thin. That wasn't a concern as it was still early in my cycle.

Later on CD8, the nurse from the clinic called me back. This was another surprise. The original plan was for me to do a LH test on Monday morning at home to rule out an early surge, and then go back to the clinic for blood work and ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I was having my LH surge already on CD8 which means that ovulation would most likely follow in 24-36 hours. They told me we should have sex on Sunday and Monday. Then, in two weeks, I should get a blood pregnancy test done. I am now concerned about my thin endometrial lining but I am hoping it will thicken up as my cycle continues. The clinic did not seem to be optimistic about my chances of conception for this cycle. The nurse has given my chart to the fertility doctor for review and to make a plan for next cycle.

I have an appointment to see the fertility doctor on May 17th with Mr. Pharmasaur. I am hoping the results of his sperm analysis will be back by then too. At least we will have more information. I will also get my blood pregnancy test done then. So, I am officially in the 2 week wait now.

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Actually, no, I don't have any patience. I really wish I did though! It would sure come in handy for these next 2 weeks. One of the biggest things I have learned throughout my TTC process is how impatient I am. If anyone has any tips on developing patience, I'm all ears!

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TTC on hold for now......

Let me start off by apologizing for not blogging in the last little while. A lot has been going on and I've been putting off my blogging duties!

Mr. Pharmasaur and I saw the fertility specialist on March 25th. The doctor came up with a plan for us to start on my next cycle. Mr. Pharmasaur has a requisition for a sperm analysis which he can do anytime (apparently he will be doing that this coming Wednesday.) We both had the standard infectious disease blood tests required by the clinic. I had a progesterone blood level to see if I'd ovulated (it was CD27 and I had not ovulated at that point.) I highly doubt that I ovulated last cycle.

Then the plan was to wait until CD3, come back in for hormone blood levels and an ultrasound and then start Clomid 100 mg for 5 days. The clinic would have me come back in regularly for cycle monitoring and put us on a schedule of "timed intercourse" to help us conceive.

CD3 ended up being last Wednesday so I went to the clinic early in the morning for my blood work and ultrasound. It feels so strange, walking around the clinic, trying not to be embarrassed to be there. I feel like everyone there is trying not to look at each other - kind of a mixture of feeling uncomfortable and giving others their privacy.

I had the blood work and ultrasound done and I was told to wait for a phone call from the clinic before I took the Clomid. I had a small cyst on my left ovary and if it was estrogen dependent, it would be pointless the take the fertility drug as it could interfere with ovulation.

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The clinic did call later that day and told me not to take the Clomid. I was pretty disappointed as I was looking forward to getting some serious help with TTC. My estrogen level was fine at 99. My FSH was high at 32 and my LH (luteinizing hormone) was a bit high at19. They were a little concerned about those numbers. However, they were most concerned with my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) which was 7.13. The high end of the normal range here in Canada is 5. So, I got another requisition to get my thyroid hormones tested again which I got done last Friday. I am still waiting for those results.

So, there will be no cycle monitoring this month. I also have another blood requisition to repeat my CD3 hormone levels in my next cycle. I have a feeling that my FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) may be too high to use fertility drugs. I may be heading into perimenopause.

Our biggest concern however, is the possibility of hypothyroidism. If this is indeed the case, I will need to be put on medication to bring my thyroid hormones back into balance. This usually takes blood work and several dose adjustments to achieve. If we go ahead and TTC with untreated hypothyroidism, it could put us at risk of miscarriage and birth defects if we can even conceive at all. At the age of 40, any delays like this can really have an impact on our future chances of conception.

Tomorrow, I am going back to the clinic for a sonohysterogram ultrasound which I am not really looking forward too. However, we are doing this to see if there are any physical problems with my reproductive organs that could be preventing conception. After the thyroid hormone surprise, I really hope that there are no more tomorrow!

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Flying on Cloud Nine

As of my last post I left off waiting for all the tests results. Today I called my fertility clinic to see if they were all in. I talked to my nurse and she told me that all Mr. Relaxasaur's blood work came back negative so that is great. She also told me his sperm analysis was in and I thought I would have to wait to hear the results in the consultation I have to schedule. But she was able to tell me over the phone. So I took a deep breath and waited. I honestly thought I would hear bad news, I want to stay positive but after the last test I was skeptical. She started by telling me the count which is 100 million which is good, and then the motility which is 54%, and then his morphology which was the problem before and but this time it was 18%!!!!!!!! on the Kruger Strict Morphology and anything higher than 14% is good. I also asked about my varicella test because my first blood tested showed I was on the border of not being immune to chicken pox which means I would have to get the vaccine and wait 3 months before we could TTC. That too came back showing I am immune. So after I hung the phone I was all smiles, I was on cloud nine.

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The nurse said that I still have to test for cystic fibrosis or sign the waver saying I don't want the test. If my insurance wont cover it we would have to pay $430 to take it. If we have to pay out of pocket I don't want the test. She said that they charge the insurance $6000 for it. That is just insane. So after I call the insurance I have to either call and schedule the test or schedule what is hopefully my final consultation.

Test Complete

All of our initial testing is done. After all the results come in I have to call and schedule and apt. for us to go and hear our plan of action. Since Dec 24th I have had 3 blood tests, 2 trans vaginal ultrasound (including one with saline) the hubby has had 2 sperm analysis and one blood test. He just completed the blood work yesterday so we should have our news by next Wed.

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As of last post I had talked about having to possibly get the chicken pox vaccine. I have not heard back yet but have decided to get the vaccine if need be which would put us out of baby trying for three months. This is not a huge deal as it would only put me out one cycle and enter back in real close to ovulation for the cycle after that. It would be worth it, why risk the babies health.

I also left off with having to get my saline ultrasound. It really wasn't that bad. They had me empty my bladder and lay on the table naked from the waist down. The tech (who I really like) explained everything and then went and got the doctor. It is a two person deal. The Dr. inserts the speculum which really is the worst part. I was told to take 2 ibuprofen and hour before to help with the cramping. After the speculum was in she fed the catheter which was a small tube kinda like spaghetti into my uterus and then speculum was removed which was good because I really hate that tool. Then the tech inserted the ultrasound camera. At this point the catheter came out and had to be reinserted which meant the speculum came back in. This time I felt the cramping. Nothing terrible it was like period cramps.

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After everything was inserted properly the doctor fed saline solution through the catheter while the camera was in to check for blockages in my tubes. Apparently last time they thought they saw a blockage in my left fallopian tube so they were shocked to see the solution pass through with ease. The think it may be a heavy vessel, nothing to worry about they said it may just give me a heavy pulling feeling during my period. At this point they were both smiling and said the whole area looked textbook, the doc even said my uterus was gorgeous which was weirdly flattering. The whole process took less than 10 minutes. Like I said the speculum was the worst part, although feeling the solution come back out was a little weird. They told me to wear a pantyliner that I may leak for a couple of hours and may spot for a day or two. After I left I did feel wet down there but nothing terrible. I did experience some cramping on and off but no spotting. I am relieved to know everything is working properly for me even if my period is irregular. Hopefully the same comes back for Mr. Relaxasaur and if not we take it one day at a time.

Tonight we went to a friends house who has a 7 month old baby. She is the cutest little girl. As soon as we got there my sister handed the baby off to Mr. R and she took to him immediately. She was burrowing in his chest and he played with her for about 15 minutes until she fell asleep on him. Instead of giving her back he went to the couch and sat down with her for about 45 minutes. It was so cute and he looked like a natural. It made my heart melt and I can't wait to see him like that with our child, whenever that may be.

Good News

Happy New Year to all! I hope everyone had a great time during their celebrations. As of last post I left off by describing my consultation with the RE. They drew blood to check to see if I had ovulated. I got the call a few days later and sure enough I am ovulating!! I figured I was because I can feel the pain and pinpoint my exact time of ovulation but it was nice to get it confirmed. This past Wednesday morning marked two weeks since I ovulated and my period came. I never thought this would excite me but because I have to get more testing on cycle day three I was ready to get the show on the road so to speak. Aunt Flo surprised me by being a regular period and not just spotting. This is the first "real" period I have had since coming off birth control seven months ago. More good news is this cycle lasted 63 days instead of the normal 75-77 days. I wonder if it is because acupuncture or if I am getting back to a more regular cycle, I know that 63 days isn't regular but for me it is closer. Before I was on birth control my cycles came about every other month.

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I go in the RE tomorrow for more blood work and then next week for a saline ultrasound which I hear is a good time. Mr. Relaxasaur has to repeat his sperm analysis next week as well as go in for blood work. This cycle is the first time we will actually TTC so our plan is to have sex every other day so we don't miss my ovulation. All of this is based on the all the tests coming back with positive results. So we are keeping our fingers crossed!


***Update***

I just got back from my appointment and I thought I was just getting blood work done but they also surprised me an ultrasound. I have never had one and heard about the "dildo cam" from other blogs. It wasn't bad at first but then she had to keep applying pressure to different regions of my pelvis. It felt like period cramps but went away as soon as she was done. During the ultrasound the tech did ask if I have regular periods which made me wonder if she always asks that question or if she saw something. I don't know why I didn't ask but I am guessing they will tell me if I have anything wrong after they collect all the data. My next appointment is for next Thursday which is when Mr. Relaxasaur will repeating his sperm analysis.

I Hate my Doctor and Bad News

I am so mad right now and apologies ahead of time but this post is going to be long. But before I get into that I want to say thank you for everyone who had good things to say about my last post and how the doctor was treating me. Today it wasn't any better infact it was worse. I went in for a supposed consultation but that is not what I got. My appointment was scheduled for 3:00 and I arrived about ten minutes early and I sat for 45 minutes before I was even called back. I was the only one there so it wasn't like she had a busy room full of people.

Then I get taken back and she comes in to tell me she can't tell me the results of my husbands sperm analysis because she doesn't know what they mean. WHAT! Then why in the hell did she tell me to come in, why didn't she just say that a week and a half ago. She tells me I need to see a specialist that she can't help me out with my long menstrual cycles. Again, I could have heard this on the phone. So as I am collecting all my paperwork I ask about my last pap. She said it was negative and when I asked about the HPV she said it was negative. Good news but then I wanted to know if that meant the cells that have already changed on my cervix are still bad and need to be monitored or when I should come in for my next pap and she said with a raised voice and an attitude that they were negative. She wouldn't even answer any of my questions about what the HPV had done to my body. With that comment she stood up and said come see me when you get pregnant. At this point I want to tell her she is a raving lunatic if she thinks I will ever see her again.

Don't get me wrong I will forever be grateful that she helped me understand that HPV needs to be taken seriously, and for taking care of my body from that first appointment but since the surgery she has done nothing for me. I do have a fertility center which is located across the street from me so I called my insurance one more time to get a better understanding of what they cover. A very helpful and polite person answered and did a wonderful job explaining that the fertility center is in my network and that I can get tests and a diagnosis covered by insurance. However, once myself or my husband gets diagnosed infertile they will no longer cover any of the procedures or furter testing. So my goal is to get an appointment before the new year because I have already covered my deductible for this year. But it was too late to call after the doctors because they kept me there so long so I'll call in the morning.

I want to at least go in and make sure I am ovulating and see what they think about my long cycles ( I am on day 40) and I am not scheduled to ovulate until New Years. Now for the bad news I was able to read the results from the sperm analysis and they don't look good for us conceiving naturally. According to the results Mr. Relaxasaur has good count and motility but it says he has severe teratospermia which is what my doctor had no clue about. I of course came home and googled it. It means that he has a low percentage of normal shaped sperm. That is what teratospermia is defined as I have no clue how little severe means. Sperm which are abnormally shaped do not swim well, nor do they penetrate the egg well when they do reach it. One site said that is also means they are degenerative.

I don't know how bad his is because they did not put a percentage down on the result sheet for the Kruger Strict Morphology test - it just says severe. According to Dr. Google it looks like intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is the most common way to help couples become pregnant. I'm not taking this to mean that is what we have to do - I wont jump to any conclusions until I hear it come from a doctor I trust. Now here is the other problem: I can't tell the reproductive endocrinologist about it until all my tests are run because if the insurance company finds out about it I am afraid my tests wont be covered. Or I could wait until I meet my doctor and then tell her about the results and ask they not write it down or let it get to the insurance company. What do you guys think I should do bring it up right away or wait until my results are in?

I like to end on good news so here is the good news I got today. My husband is not sterile and as of today there is a possiblity of us having kids (even if we need help) and my good friend who is pregnant found out she is having a girl. I love shopping for baby girl clothes. Thanks ahead of time for everyones opinions and thoughts. I really do appreciate them.

Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster

That's right. I am riding this crazy roller coaster of emotions. Last week I was feeling great about where I am at in life. Mr. Relaxasaur and I had a "check in" talk. We like to keep our lines of communication open and every now and then we like to make sure we are both good and happy with our relationship. We went out to a nice dinner and talked about the what ifs of TTC. We said that if we didn't have any kids in the next five years we would move the city and try city life for a while and then consider adoption. I try to tell myself that for me children aren't everything. But I don't think I will know for sure until we are faced with the real possiblity of never.

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As we wait for our results from my hubby's sperm analysis I started to worry a little that we can't have kids. The longer we have to wait the more my mind freaks me out. The other day for no reason whatsoever I cried four times about nothing. It was a tough day and then I tell myself not to try to not worry until we get the results. We took the test almost 3 weeks ago and the results have been sitting in my doctor's office for a week and I have been calling everyday and she will not call me back. Her secretary called and asked me to call the place where we got the testing done and get the results from them. So I called them and they said they only conduct the tests and they don't keep the results in the office and to call my doctor for them. So I call my doctor back and of course her assistant said the same thing she has been saying all week that the doctor will call me when she gets a chance. Then last night her assistant calls and says my Dr. wants me to get the results from the lab and I again explain they don't have them and it is really starting to piss me off. So I told her to fax me the results and she said she would tomorrow after the doctor comes in.

I knew this wouldn't happen so I called today and talked to a different woman and asked her to get my file together including the sperm test results because I would be picking them up and switching to a new doctor. I explained that I also have been wanting come in and get tested for PCOS and the other assistant kept telling me to talk to the doctor about it when she called me back, which I didn't understand why she wouldn't just set me up and appointment, plus I wasn't getting called back so how can I talk to the doctor. So this woman asked me when my appointment was with the other doctor and I told her Dec. 31st. She asked me if I wanted to come in on Monday for a consultation for my irregular cycle and get my husbands lab results at the same time. I figure I have nothing to loose. Then she tells me she can't really tell me the results without the doctor signing off but she say that it states Mr. Relaxasaur is advised to see a urologist.

So I am assuming something is wrong. My heart sank. Not for me but for my husband. See he loves children, he works with kids for a living and does want to be a father someday. We don't know what is wrong yet I will find out Monday so until then we are trying to stay positive but it is hard to not wonder about our future. I do know that this is going to be a long weekend. On top of all that I stopped acupuncture. I wasn't seeing any changes in my cycle, my energy is better but I didn't want to continue spending the money until we know for sure that we can have children of our own. I am currently on cycle day 43. Plus, I found someone who specializes in fertility acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine, and is also an obgyn so when and if I continue I will switch practitioners. That is about all that has been happening my household and I will post an update after I get the results back.

Thanks for reading and have a nice weekend.

Testing

Testing....one....two.....three....

Actually, only I've only done one test (so far.) I was really, really trying to wait until several days after Aunt Flo was due. Yesterday morning I had a backache similar to when I was pregnant. So, I got hopeful, and a tiny bit excited. Then I bought a 2 pack of these on the way to work:

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And I did a quick test before I started work (so it wasn't first morning urine, which I know is better, especially if you are testing early.)

Unfortunately this is what I saw:

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That is what I suspected. Although part of me is hoping I tested too early. Aunt Flo was due yesterday and has not shown up yet. So, I will wait until Saturday and test again if she does not visit. Honestly!

Results

Mr. Lillysaur and I ventured to the RE today for our follow-up appt. It turns out that Mr. Lillysaur has great sperm, I have great CM, and Mr. Lillysaur´s sperm really like my CM and can swim around in it for hours....yes, someone got to watch the little buggers swim around for four hours under a microscope. I´m glad that´s not my job.

My hormone tests came back normal. Nothing there. So where do we go from here? Apparently we move on to having a laprascope. I was thinking HSG, but the doctor said only in combo with said laprascope. So I will have to venture to a clinic that specializes in this procedure for out-patient purposes. The test must be done sometime after you stop bleeding and before you ovulate...ok. So on Monday I´m going to make the call and see if we can get in for the procedure in a couple of weeks. I´m a little nervous. No, I am nervous. But I want to know if everything is ok, or if there is any scarring from the D&E I had last year. The RE said after this test we will know more and can go from there.

I am hoping, praying that by some miracle I am pregnant with my sticky baby and that I won´t have to go for the procedure. I know it´s a long shot, but a girl can hope and dream right?

I´m Baaaaack

I´m back after a long abscence. The vacation was great and I enjoyed getting to relax and stop thinnking about ttcing for just a bit, but only a bit. I got lots of reading done and will be posting my reviews of those later, so stay tuned!

This morning Mr. Lillysaur and I headed to the RE´s office for our next bunch of tests. Mr. Lillysaur went for his SA which the doctor said should show nothing unusual since I´ve been knocked up several times, but he thought we should do one anyway since we were doing the penetration test. The penetration test is supposed to make sure we are "compatible" and that my CM isn´t messing with Mr. Lillysaur´s sperm....no idea why we need this since I´ve been KU, but ok.

So In a very Mr. Bean moment from the film Maybe Baby I sat in that oh so sexy pose in the chair while the Dr. swabbed my cervix with various instruments to get a nice glob of CM....which he proceeded to stretch between two tong things and look at for its stretchability before placing it in some sort of container to do the penetration test. The whole stretching thing really had me thinking of Mr. Bean, which might have had me laughing if it hadn´t been so uncomfortable. I swear pelvic exams are never fun or sexy, but that seems to be my lot in life right now.

After the swabbing and stretching I got an ultrasound to make sure there was actually a follicle there, and there was. He said the follicle was over 20mm and my lining was measuring 7.7mm. I guess that´s ok. He didn´t say anything about it. It´s more than it was last time (6.5) so that´s good. The doctor thought I would drop a follicle today, but I think probably tomorrow. My OPK isn´t positive yet, so I think Mr. Lillysaur and I will have it off when he gets home tonight. Maybe we´ll have some luck.

Sweet relief

Since I got my BFP, I've been cautious and wouldn't allow myself to get to excited or plan for the baby because I was so afraid something would go wrong. Even though everything looked fine on my six week ultrasound and we saw the heart flickering, I wouldn't let myself get too excited. It's weird to think that there's really a baby growing inside you when you can't see, hear or feel any of it. I have had very mild symptoms - just slight nausea, food aversions & cravings, and tender nipples. They're mild enough that if I didn't know I was pregnant, I probably wouldn't really notice them.

As you can imagine, the countdown to my NT scan was agonizing because I'm super impatient, and because I was so anxious and excited to see our baby looking like an actual baby, rather than a little blob. I was literally counting down the days and they could not have gone by fast enough. Finally, yesterday was the day. And it was fabulous. I teared up when I saw our baby for the first time. It was so surreal. And it was the greatest feeling to find out that so far, everything looks great! Baby is measuring another 2 days ahead (12w instead of 11w5d), but it won't change my due date. We got 6 photos printed and a DVD of the whole scan. =D

Here's baby, waving at the camera (you can see 3 fingers above the nose):


We definitely want to find out the gender because we're totally planners and we want to be able to decorate appropriately. There's a theory about the "angle of the dangle" where you can determine the baby's sex at about 12 weeks. In females, the nub points down at less than 30° relative the the spine. In males, the angle is greater than 30°. Here's our first look:


The arrow points to the nub, which clearly looks girly. It looks just like the girl photo from the website I linked to above. This image was taken by the tech. After she did the whole scan, the doctor came in and asked if we wanted to know the sex. We said we thought we knew so he took a live look and snapped this image:

Doh! Now baby is looking like a boy! He looked again and baby moved and then looked girly again. Plus, the doctor said that the heart rate (which was 165bpm) made him think it was a girl because he said girls tend to have higher heart rates. So now we just don't know. We'll find out in another 4 weeks for sure when we have a 3D ultrasound. Yet another thing for me to countdown to!

This 'saur has the all clear!

Remember those blood tests I had drawn last week, out of a concern for my progressively shorter and lighter periods? I was finally able to get in to see my doctor this morning to find out the results.
My progesterone level was 32, which is very good - anything over 10 means I’m ovulating, although my doctor likes to see a number over 20; so 32 indicates a solid ovulation.

My SHBG levels are on the low side (this is a great explanation of what that means, if you're not familiar with it), so my doc encouraged me again to lose a little weight, because it’s the easiest fix for this. I will fully admit to being overweight, although I'm not heavy enough to actually hamper my ability to conceive - losing weight isn't a direct cure for whatever is ailing me, just something that may help optimize our chances. Oh, and I should mention that although low SHBG levels are one indicator of polycystic ovarian syndrome, all of my other results were fine, so PCOS isn't a concern at the moment.

As a side note, my rubella immunization is low - this won’t cause TTC problems, but it is slightly risky, simply because if I caught rubella while knocked up, there would be a chance the baby could be harmed. However, getting a vaccine booster now would mean no TTCing for 3 months, and since I don’t work in high risk environments (like with children in a school or daycare), my doc feels that I’ll probably be OK to not worry about it now and just get a booster after I eventually give birth - and obviously, avoid avoid anyone with a suspicious rash.

All of my other results were fine, so this is GREAT news because it means that there isn't anything physically wrong with me...but at the same time it's kind of frustrating because it means the ongoing saga with my increasingly shorter and lighter periods is unexplained. My doctor did say that if they shorten to one day or stop altogether, we'll obviously need to consider more testing, but for now she's given me the all clear to just keep trying.

So that's what we're going to do - FWP week in T-minus 5 days!