I have been experiencing contractions that started on Saturday, those were painless contractions and I was so unsure of what they really were. I had my weekly doctors appointment yesterday and told her that they are getting worse, they are keeping me up at night and getting tighter. She did a cervix check and I am 1.5 cm dilated and 25% effaced, things are moving in the right direction. I have vomited everything I have eaten yesterday, I am starting to get hungry but then I get so nauseous and start burping like crazy. Things seem to be happening.
I can't believe it.
Showing posts with label labor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label labor. Show all posts
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Want to see a man experience childbirth?
Well, sort of - he gets hooked up to some electrical impulses that simulate something like contractions, and the end result is...interesting.
I think this would beexcellent mandatory torture a valuable experience for all men, don't you?
I think this would be
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The end is near?
So when I last left off, our midwife was telling us we had a big baby, and sent us in for a growth ultrasound for "size greater than dates". The ultrasound confirmed her suspicions, as much as it was able to. The tech was great at explaining to us that the weight measurement is just a guess, because they can't see fatty tissue, only bone. But all his bone measurements, including his skull, were measuring ahead as well. In sum, they put me at 15 days ahead of my due date, which would technically put me at 40 weeks...today. There's a possibility that, had we chosen to go with a traditional hospital birth, we'd be talking to our doctor right now about inducing. Thankfully, we didn't go that route. We're delivering at a birth center, and that word hasn't even been brought up. Instead, they moved tomorrow's 38 week appointment from the afternoon to the morning, and they're going to "do some things" at said appointment to hopefully kick-start labor. Then send Mr. Citysaur and me home with some "homework".
Now, to most people, I've just been telling them that I'm not being induced, they're just going to do some voodoo magic on me. It's easier (and not TMI) to explain that way, especially to coworkers. But as this is a pregnancy blog, how about the real truth? I'm not 100%, because the midwife went over this rather quickly last week, but I believe the voodoo magic includes massaging the cervix and stripping the membranes. I'm not sure what else the midwife has up her sleeve, but I'm pretty sure I caught mention of those two at least.
So, perhaps Homer is right, and the end is near. I'm off work tomorrow, because after the appointment, we're supposed to go home and see if anything progresses. I was already 2 CM dilated as of last Thursday, so it's not totally out of the question that this could work. But even if it doesn't, I think it's likely he'll be coming some time in the next couple of weeks. It's still just a waiting game!
Le Sigh...
I have such a range of emotions happening right now and I can't seem to sort them all out..
I don't know if you remember, but I posted earlier about my plans to be there to help my sister-in-law when she delivers her 3rd baby. Well, that didn't happen...for a few good reasons. And I'm thinking, it was better this way.
Here's the story...
Dear sis-in-law (SIL) was due sometime between March 2nd and March 9th. (You know, the whole cycle vs. ultrasound due date thing?) March 2nd (ultrasound DD) came and went and I was on stand by to race to the hospital at any moment. We waited and waited (nothing new when it comes to having babies, of course) and it was getting closer to the weekend. The monkey wrench in the plans were that my family and friends had planned a 30th birthday bash for me on Sunday, so obviously wouldn't be able to make it on that day. We had different back up plans for if it happened on the weekend, so it was totally fine, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen while I was gone.
Of course, SIL started having regular contractions on Sunday morning. I conceded to the fact that I wasn't going to be there for the birth. So I went on with the day, excited about the b-day plans that my wonderful DH and best friends had put together. It was a fabulous day full of great famiily, great friends, and great food and gifts.
We got periodic updates throughout the day on SIL's situation. She never actually checked into the hospital, because she wanted to labor without being hooked up to machines laying on a bed. She wandered the hospital all day long...poor thing. Finally, that night when her contractions started getting further apart they told her she should go home. (Keep in mind that we live 30 minutes from the nearest hospital) So she and my brother-in-law went home for the night, taking the big walk of shame out of the hospital.
To make a long story short, she was laboring throughout the night and then decided at about 6am yesterday morning that they needed to start heading back to the hospital. Her hubby was determined to wait until her water broke, but that still hadn't happened. She was having a lot of back labor and knew she needed to go back. Well, they did make it to the hospital...the hospital parking garage, that is. Baby decided to make her grand entrance in the car inside the hospital parking garage!!! Oh.my.word. Craziness.
Baby girl and mama are perfectly healthy and happy, thank the Lord!! I went and saw them yesterday afternoon and she is as cute as can be...all 8 lbs & 21 1/4 inches of her.
Now that it's all said and done things are starting to hit me. I am so happy for them...but I'm on the verge of tears at any moment. I knew back when I found out that she was pregnant that it would be pretty tough on me to see her with brand new baby in hand, especially if I still didn't have any prospects for a new baby of my own. And of course, that's the situation I find myself in...
Like I said earlier, I really don't know how to sort it all out. For now I keep this dream close to my heart and I continue to pray that it becomes a reality.
WHISPER
by A Fine Frenzy
Running the race
Like a mouse in a cage getting nowhere
but I'm trying
Forging ahead
But I'm stuck in the bed that I made
so I'm lying
But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me still
Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires
But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still
The sound tires on my lips
To fade away into forgetting
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still
I don't know if you remember, but I posted earlier about my plans to be there to help my sister-in-law when she delivers her 3rd baby. Well, that didn't happen...for a few good reasons. And I'm thinking, it was better this way.
Here's the story...
Dear sis-in-law (SIL) was due sometime between March 2nd and March 9th. (You know, the whole cycle vs. ultrasound due date thing?) March 2nd (ultrasound DD) came and went and I was on stand by to race to the hospital at any moment. We waited and waited (nothing new when it comes to having babies, of course) and it was getting closer to the weekend. The monkey wrench in the plans were that my family and friends had planned a 30th birthday bash for me on Sunday, so obviously wouldn't be able to make it on that day. We had different back up plans for if it happened on the weekend, so it was totally fine, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen while I was gone.
Of course, SIL started having regular contractions on Sunday morning. I conceded to the fact that I wasn't going to be there for the birth. So I went on with the day, excited about the b-day plans that my wonderful DH and best friends had put together. It was a fabulous day full of great famiily, great friends, and great food and gifts.
We got periodic updates throughout the day on SIL's situation. She never actually checked into the hospital, because she wanted to labor without being hooked up to machines laying on a bed. She wandered the hospital all day long...poor thing. Finally, that night when her contractions started getting further apart they told her she should go home. (Keep in mind that we live 30 minutes from the nearest hospital) So she and my brother-in-law went home for the night, taking the big walk of shame out of the hospital.
To make a long story short, she was laboring throughout the night and then decided at about 6am yesterday morning that they needed to start heading back to the hospital. Her hubby was determined to wait until her water broke, but that still hadn't happened. She was having a lot of back labor and knew she needed to go back. Well, they did make it to the hospital...the hospital parking garage, that is. Baby decided to make her grand entrance in the car inside the hospital parking garage!!! Oh.my.word. Craziness.
Baby girl and mama are perfectly healthy and happy, thank the Lord!! I went and saw them yesterday afternoon and she is as cute as can be...all 8 lbs & 21 1/4 inches of her.
Now that it's all said and done things are starting to hit me. I am so happy for them...but I'm on the verge of tears at any moment. I knew back when I found out that she was pregnant that it would be pretty tough on me to see her with brand new baby in hand, especially if I still didn't have any prospects for a new baby of my own. And of course, that's the situation I find myself in...
Like I said earlier, I really don't know how to sort it all out. For now I keep this dream close to my heart and I continue to pray that it becomes a reality.
WHISPER
by A Fine Frenzy
Running the race
Like a mouse in a cage getting nowhere
but I'm trying
Forging ahead
But I'm stuck in the bed that I made
so I'm lying
But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me still
Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires
But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still
The sound tires on my lips
To fade away into forgetting
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still
Monday, February 1, 2010
My Top Must-Haves for L&D and the First Week at Home
Last week I posted what we packed for the hospital. Even though we only live a half mile away, we packed in a way that wouldn't require anyone to dash home to get one last thing. I also wasn't 100% whether or not I'd end up with a c-section and a four to five night stay or just be there for two nights recovering from a vaginal delivery. Therefore I did over pack in the clothing department. Everything else we actually used. My top five must-haves for labor and delivery (besides a supportive husband and mother and our awesome doula) are:
1. Birthing/Yoga Ball
2. Alternative attire to the hospital gown ( I wore a sarong and bra top for L&D and my own button front PJ's for post partum)
3. Mellow/soothing music
4. Sleep Mask (I had one from an international flight amenities kit)...kept out the light from the fluorescent overhead lights and also helped me stay "in the zone" when nurses/staff would come in and check the monitor, IV, etc.
5. Massage (I was extra lucky...not only did I have the doula working her magic, but also my mother, who is a certified Rolfer.) I had two massages the week before my delivery (one was the night before). Then, while in labor, there was someone constantly massaging at least one part of me (back, shoulders, legs, feet, hands, etc.) It really helped me work through the pain of labor and relax both physically and mentally.
Aside from diapers and wipes, the car seat to get home from the hospital and of course, my
husband home from work this week and half of next, these are my Top 5 Gotta-have-'em when the baby comes home items:
1. Nursing Pillow (Boppy or My Brest Friend...I have both and use the Boppy in my rocking chair and the Brest Friend for nursing in bed or the living room)
2. Moby Wrap or similar (we DIY's our own for $21 which gave us two...one to wash, one to wear. Or in our case, one for me and one for Daddy).
3. Breastfeeding friendly tops and tanks (I only had two nursing tops and wish I had more before coming home from the hospital.)
4. Rocker/Recliner...mine swivels which is an added bonus!
5. Swaddling blankets, burp clothes and baby blankets
I am also going to add nightlights. We've installed them in our room, the baby's room, bathroom and kitchen. That way I can navigate through our home with our LO in the middle of the night without switching on overhead lights. It helps me to stay safe and also feel more "rested" despite not really getting a long stretch of sleep.
We are also glad we decided to use disposable diapers and wipes until the baby passed all of her meconium. It's just been easier to transition from the hospital to home. Especially since Mr. Divasaur just learned how to diaper a baby from the nursery staff at the hospital. We've been using Pamper's Swaddlers in NB (the hospital sent us home with Size 1 but we already had the NB size on hand and are preferring its fit to the Size 1's on our 8 lb. baby). We were using natural bamboo, unscented disposable wipes from Walgreen's in a Lionsheart Wipes Warmer. Genius! Our LO is not a huge fan of being changed and the warm wipes help calm her down. After her meconium passed on day 6, we transitioned to our cloth diaper and wipe stash. We're using cloth wipes with water in our wipes warmer and it's working beautifully. It seems that our LO is actually preferring cloth...she fusses a lot less now that we're not using disposables any more.
Things I have tried to use this week but am realizing are not for us:
1. Miracle Blanket (my baby likes her hands by her face when she's swaddled since that's how she was positioned in uetero). Also other "pre-formed" swaddlers...we're sticking with big, thin flannel and stretch cotton blankets.
2. Speaking of which, the cute flannel "receiving blankets" that you typically can get are TOO small to successfully swaddle a newborn. At least in our case. So we've been using them to "line" the bigger ones we got from the hospital and make the swaddling warmer. Other than that, I guess I'll be using them for changing diapers and mopping up spit-up.
3. Newborn clothing that goes over the head is not convenient with a brand new baby. Especially one that needs to be naked to nurse (she's too cozy otherwise and just dozes off...so I strip her down to her diaper, get her latched on and then cover her up with a blanket or wrap/carrier).
I got several gowns that are like a t-shirt on top and a long with elastic on the bottom because I was advised that these are great for a new baby. Same with onesies...the kind that go over the head and snap in the crotch. But before her belly button was in the clear, it was a pain to use those gowns and onesies. For the first week....I was loving the few kimono-style wrap and snap styled t-shirts that we have. They stayed off her belly button perfectly and it was easy to open them up, lay her on top and dress her. Way more easy than jostling her around to get something over her head, across her belly button and down.
Also, my DH has large hands and is having a hard time with little buttons and snaps. Again, in time I'm sure he'll feel more confident with them...but he is most comfortable with a sleeper we have that has a zipper up the front. I don't like it as well because the metal pull ends up right under our LO's chin and I feel it might dig into her or something.
Other than that, all I can say is for the first week home really plan on staying flexible and adjusting all expectations. I have had to give myself little pep talks all week that there's no one way to do this...despite all the advice available from friends, family, books and web sites. For me, it's about staying in the moment and tuning into my LO's cues. I am lucky because she is a really easy baby. She only fusses when she's hungry or has a wet/dirty diaper. So I am learning as I go. And always remembering that the first three months is basically the "fourth trimester" for her. So my days and nights are filled with lots of snuggles, kisses, breastfeeding and diaper changing. I know that this time will flash in a blink of the eye so I plan to embrace every moment of it, even though it means my eyes are blinking less than they used to before she arrived. I am now grateful for those sleepless nights of the third trimester. It's as if they helped "reset" my body clock for what's an acceptable amount of sleep/rest with which to function.
1. Birthing/Yoga Ball
2. Alternative attire to the hospital gown ( I wore a sarong and bra top for L&D and my own button front PJ's for post partum)
3. Mellow/soothing music
4. Sleep Mask (I had one from an international flight amenities kit)...kept out the light from the fluorescent overhead lights and also helped me stay "in the zone" when nurses/staff would come in and check the monitor, IV, etc.
5. Massage (I was extra lucky...not only did I have the doula working her magic, but also my mother, who is a certified Rolfer.) I had two massages the week before my delivery (one was the night before). Then, while in labor, there was someone constantly massaging at least one part of me (back, shoulders, legs, feet, hands, etc.) It really helped me work through the pain of labor and relax both physically and mentally.
Aside from diapers and wipes, the car seat to get home from the hospital and of course, my
husband home from work this week and half of next, these are my Top 5 Gotta-have-'em when the baby comes home items:
1. Nursing Pillow (Boppy or My Brest Friend...I have both and use the Boppy in my rocking chair and the Brest Friend for nursing in bed or the living room)
2. Moby Wrap or similar (we DIY's our own for $21 which gave us two...one to wash, one to wear. Or in our case, one for me and one for Daddy).
3. Breastfeeding friendly tops and tanks (I only had two nursing tops and wish I had more before coming home from the hospital.)
4. Rocker/Recliner...mine swivels which is an added bonus!
5. Swaddling blankets, burp clothes and baby blankets
I am also going to add nightlights. We've installed them in our room, the baby's room, bathroom and kitchen. That way I can navigate through our home with our LO in the middle of the night without switching on overhead lights. It helps me to stay safe and also feel more "rested" despite not really getting a long stretch of sleep.
We are also glad we decided to use disposable diapers and wipes until the baby passed all of her meconium. It's just been easier to transition from the hospital to home. Especially since Mr. Divasaur just learned how to diaper a baby from the nursery staff at the hospital. We've been using Pamper's Swaddlers in NB (the hospital sent us home with Size 1 but we already had the NB size on hand and are preferring its fit to the Size 1's on our 8 lb. baby). We were using natural bamboo, unscented disposable wipes from Walgreen's in a Lionsheart Wipes Warmer. Genius! Our LO is not a huge fan of being changed and the warm wipes help calm her down. After her meconium passed on day 6, we transitioned to our cloth diaper and wipe stash. We're using cloth wipes with water in our wipes warmer and it's working beautifully. It seems that our LO is actually preferring cloth...she fusses a lot less now that we're not using disposables any more.
Things I have tried to use this week but am realizing are not for us:
1. Miracle Blanket (my baby likes her hands by her face when she's swaddled since that's how she was positioned in uetero). Also other "pre-formed" swaddlers...we're sticking with big, thin flannel and stretch cotton blankets.
2. Speaking of which, the cute flannel "receiving blankets" that you typically can get are TOO small to successfully swaddle a newborn. At least in our case. So we've been using them to "line" the bigger ones we got from the hospital and make the swaddling warmer. Other than that, I guess I'll be using them for changing diapers and mopping up spit-up.
3. Newborn clothing that goes over the head is not convenient with a brand new baby. Especially one that needs to be naked to nurse (she's too cozy otherwise and just dozes off...so I strip her down to her diaper, get her latched on and then cover her up with a blanket or wrap/carrier).
I got several gowns that are like a t-shirt on top and a long with elastic on the bottom because I was advised that these are great for a new baby. Same with onesies...the kind that go over the head and snap in the crotch. But before her belly button was in the clear, it was a pain to use those gowns and onesies. For the first week....I was loving the few kimono-style wrap and snap styled t-shirts that we have. They stayed off her belly button perfectly and it was easy to open them up, lay her on top and dress her. Way more easy than jostling her around to get something over her head, across her belly button and down.
Also, my DH has large hands and is having a hard time with little buttons and snaps. Again, in time I'm sure he'll feel more confident with them...but he is most comfortable with a sleeper we have that has a zipper up the front. I don't like it as well because the metal pull ends up right under our LO's chin and I feel it might dig into her or something.
Other than that, all I can say is for the first week home really plan on staying flexible and adjusting all expectations. I have had to give myself little pep talks all week that there's no one way to do this...despite all the advice available from friends, family, books and web sites. For me, it's about staying in the moment and tuning into my LO's cues. I am lucky because she is a really easy baby. She only fusses when she's hungry or has a wet/dirty diaper. So I am learning as I go. And always remembering that the first three months is basically the "fourth trimester" for her. So my days and nights are filled with lots of snuggles, kisses, breastfeeding and diaper changing. I know that this time will flash in a blink of the eye so I plan to embrace every moment of it, even though it means my eyes are blinking less than they used to before she arrived. I am now grateful for those sleepless nights of the third trimester. It's as if they helped "reset" my body clock for what's an acceptable amount of sleep/rest with which to function.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Baby Chocosaur!
I've been a really delinquent Pregosaur... I had my baby in November but things have been so busy for us, adjusting to life with a newborn, that I've been meaning to blog about her birth but just never got around to it. So, without further ado, here's how our little baby Chocosaur made her entrance into this world...
On November 6th (39 weeks, 2 days) I had an Ob appointment and my cervix was "soft" but I still wasn't dilated. We discussed a possible induction on either November 12th (40 weeks, 1 day) or November 16th (40 weeks, 5 days) because the doctor did not want me going beyond 41 weeks. She had me come back on the 10th and based on that visit, we were going to decide what to do. On the 10th I went in and she told me that I was now a fingertip dilated but the baby hadn't dropped all the way.
Honestly, there was a lot of temptation to go ahead and schedule the induction for the 12th because at that point I was just done being pregnant. I was huge and uncomfortable, had trouble sleeping, and I was just eager to meet my little one! That said, I really wanted what was best for the baby so I put my feelings aside and we decided that we would try to give her at least a little more time before inducing. The nurses had already scheduled us for a November 12th induction at the hospital to hold a spot, but we simply rescheduled it for November 16th, hoping the baby would come in her own time before then.
Later that night after my appointment, I started having contractions. I always wondered during my pregnancy how I would know when I was having real contractions. I had heard that real contractions are painful, and that "you'll just know." I hate to also say it, but you really do "just know" when you start feeling them because they are very intense and mild to moderately painful.
My contractions were coming 5 minutes apart and lasted for 90 minutes. (The doctor had said to call if they lasted for longer than 60 minutes, but given how many contractions I had in the past, I thought I would give it more time.) So when I finally hit the 90 minute mark I figured I should call the doctor and let her know. Of course as soon as I went to grab the phone, the contractions started to go away. I was still having them, but at sporadic intervals...every 6-10 minutes with no clear pattern of progression. So I decided to just wait it out until morning to call. When I called, they said just to come in to get checked so we came in as a walk in appointment. The office was packed and we waited for over an hour to be seen. I was still having contractions at this point, but only every 10-15 minutes or so. After a long wait, I was put in an exam room and the doctor finally came in and checked me - I was still just a fingertip dilated - nothing had changed from the previous day. So they sent me home to wait some more. I was so sure that they were going to say I was at least 2 cm dilated, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
So I went home and went about my day as usual. Around 6pm, I started having contractions again. Again, these were very sporadic, but there was a definite period of time where they were 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. But again, they tapered off and started coming in different time intervals again so I decided to just sit through them. Before going to bed, I showed Mr. Chocosaur the log I was keeping of contractions that night and asked him if he thought I should call the doctor again - he said no, since they were all over the place like the were the previous night. So I went to bed, or tried to get some sleep at least. I never did fall asleep - I had been having trouble falling asleep for quite some time from just being so big and uncomfortable. Add some contractions to the mix and I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep. Then the contractions started to become more painful. I had stopped timing them but they suddenly felt like they were pretty frequent so I started timing them again. This time, they were coming every 2 minutes. Because they were so intense and coming so close together, I decided to call the on-call doctor to find out if I should come in or if I should see if these last for at least an hour (at this point they had only been coming for about 15 minutes). The on-call doctor told me to go drink a bunch of water and get hydrated, then wait and see if they would continue to last for a full hour. If they did, he wanted me to call back and then they would have to go in to the hospital. This was at around 11:30pm on the 11th. I got off the phone with him and then proceeded to go downstairs to get some water. At the bottom of the stairs, I felt a small gush. Nothing huge, in fact it felt very similar to other points in the pregnancy where some discharge would come out. In the past, I had thought my water was breaking but went to the bathroom to check, only find it was normal pregnancy discharge. So this time, when I went to check, I was actually surprised to see that underwear wet with no discharge present - and when I wiped, it was bright red blood. It was a small amount of fluid though, so I wasn't sure if this was actually my water breaking or if it was "bloody show."
So I called the doctor back and told him I wasn't sure if my water broke or if it was bloody show - he didn't really answer my question. He simply said, "Well, if your water broke, you should go in." I was a little annoyed by this but was glad that it was late enough in the night that I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be doing my delivery. So, I went and got my hospital bag, packed up the last of the toiletries that I had held off on packing, and we were at the hospital by about 12:30am (about 1 hour after my water broke). When I went to the admissions desk, they recognized my name and asked, "Weren't you supposed to be here tonight for an induction?" I smiled and told her that I was, but that we had decided to reschedule the induction to give the baby more time to come on her own.
Once I was admitted, a nurse came in to check on me. I was still just a fingertip dilated (I couldn't believe it!) and the nurse wasn't sure if my water actually broke or not because she said she had trouble feeling my bag of waters. She said it could have also been the bloody show, but couldn't say for sure. But they went ahead and hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor, took some blood, and started my IV. The nurse told me to get ready for a very long night, because first time moms tend to have very long labors. At this point, Mr. Chocosaur and my mom decided to go home and get some sleep and return in the morning. Before leaving, my hubby told me to try and get some rest - I told him there was no way I was getting any sleep while I was having painful contractions every 2 minutes!!
The nurse told me that I could get the epidural at any time I wanted it. I asked her how much it would slow down the labor and she said it would slow it down some, but not a lot. The nurse also informed me that if your water breaks, the contractions tend to be much stronger than if it has not. I tried really hard to deal with the pain for as long as possible, but with the contractions coming every 2 minutes and hours of labor ahead of me, I finally asked for the epidural around 3:30am. The nurse told me she'd just call and wake up the anesthesiologist and I'd feel better in no time. It didn't make me feel great that he'd be tapping into my spine minutes after waking up, but what choice did I have?
The anesthesiologist came quickly and then they had me sit up in bed with my legs dangling over the edge. I always thought that epidurals were administered while you were laying on your side (like a spinal tap) but I guess not. I was terrified about what it would feel like but it wasn't too bad. The worst part was having to sit still while he was doing it even though I was having contractions. They don't pause while you have the contractions, they just keep going. The nurse told me to lean over the edge of the bed with my back hunched over and cross my arms and breathe through the contractions but they were so painful I had to take my arms and brace her shoulders to get through it. The lidocaine stung a bit going in and when he went to give me the epidural I could still feel it going in! I screamed and he stopped; then he casually said, "I guess we're going to need some more lidocaine." After the second injection of lidocaine I did not feel any pain as he inserted it, but I did feel some pressure. There was another brief moment of pain as he did things. I have no idea what all he did but at one point he said, "You're going to feel a back cramp now, totally normal," and when I yelped he said, "good, that's what we want." Ha! Shortly thereafter, the drugs started to kick in and all the pain from the contractions was gone... it was wonderful. I could still feel slight pressure from each contraction, but all the pain was gone. This was around 3:45am. From then on, I was able to doze in and out of sleep. I wasn't ever able to get any really good sleep, as the nurse kept coming in to check on me, adjust my monitors, etc. Plus the blood pressure cuff was checking my blood pressure every 10 or 15 minutes and it would wake me up.
Around 6am the nurse called my Ob who was thankfully on-call that day - this is why we had scheduled the induction on the 12th in the first place. She wanted to go ahead and augment my labor with pitocin because once your water breaks, you need to deliver within 24 hours or else the risk of infection gets really high. So the nurse came in around 6:30am and checked my cervix one more time before starting the pitocin. I was 2 cm dilated (finally), so at least I was progressing a little bit. At this point, the pad they had put under me was soaked and there was meconium in it so the nurse said that it was definitely my water that had broken and wasn't just bloody show earlier. I was a little worried at this point due to the meconium being in the amniotic fluid - the whole reason we had discussed induction was to decrease the risk of meconium aspiration which goes up after 41 weeks. There was nothing we could do about it though, except wait and see.
So they started the pitocin in my IV - I couldn't really feel any difference in the contractions but from there on out, I was happy to see that I was progressing exactly as I should be. By 7:30am I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. By 10am I was 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. By noon I was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced but the baby had not totally dropped so the Ob was concerned about that. If she didn't drop, I wouldn't be able to deliver her vaginally. Furthermore, the doctor felt like the baby might be tilted a bit to where part of her head was face up. She said that babies that are "sunny side up" are more difficult to deliver so she wanted to try and reposition me to see if we get the baby to turn. So they had me labor on my side, with my leg elevated straight out in a stirrup. By 2pm I was 10cm dilated and the baby had dropped completely and turned over on her back - laboring on my side had worked! I was so relieved to hear this. The doctor said we could go ahead and start actively pushing so the nurse started setting everything up. She wheeled in a table and set it up with tools to assist in delivery (vacuum, forceps, etc) as well as instruments for an emergency c-section if needed. By 2:30pm the nurse let me go ahead and start pushing.
At this point I was thinking to myself that having a baby wasn't all that bad. I had painful contractions from about 11:15pm to 3:45am but after I had the epidural, the laboring had been a breeze. Don't get me wrong, the contractions were painful enough that I was desperate to get the epidural as soon as they would let me (we had to wait on the bloodwork results and for me to get enough IV fluids), but I could take them. Well, we tried pushing for about 15 minutes but I didn't "know" what muscles to use to push since I couldn't feel anything down there thanks to the wonderful epidural. Even though I knew this was normal, it kind of bothered me because I thought child birth was supposed to be "natural" and that I would just "know" how to push my baby out!
At that point, they decided that we'd have to turn off the epidural so that I could feel again and push more effectively. So we waited about 10-15 minutes for the epidural to wear off. This was the point where I gained an utmost respect for those moms who choose to labor med-free. The pain from the contractions was SO painful... I would even go as far as calling them unbearably painful!!! I expected pain, but not THAT kind of pain. It was so painful that I was crying - actually sobbing - with each contraction. This was not the labor that I had envisioned for myself.
In any case, the plan worked because once I could feel again, I was able to push more effectively. "More" being the key word - I was pushing, but not pushing hard enough for the baby to advance through the birth canal. Nonetheless, the nurse and doctor kept encouraging me and pushing me to keep going. At one point the nurse tried to tell me how she could see the baby's hair and that I just needed to push "a little harder" so she could come out. In order to try to get her to progress more with each push, they used a special technique with me while I was pushing. They said that if I lean over and hunch over my belly while pushing, it would help compress my belly and apply more pressure to get her to come out faster. So they took a bed sheet and had me hold onto it and they would pull me forward with each contraction/push (there was no way I was staying in that position on my own through that much pain!). They also elevated my legs and pulled them outward in order to get my pelvis to open up as much as possible.
So I pushed...and pushed...and pushed... my hospital gown was soaked in tears ...the contractions were coming every 1.5-2 minutes so I was pretty much sobbing non-stop. Nothing helped. Holding my husband's hand, trying to focus on meeting my baby, taking deep breaths, etc.... none of that helped with the pain. After about an hour and half of this, after I thought I was going to die of pain, they decided to turn the epidural back on a little bit to see if that helped. I am not sure why they didn't do this in the first place (I guess they thought I needed to feel everything in order to figure out which muscles to use...and with partial numbness I would have trouble doing so?) but once I had some pain relief, I felt much better and was able to push harder. In fact, the doctor said that those pushes were the strongest and most effective pushes I had made since we had started.
At 5:00pm, after I had been pushing for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, the doctor stopped everything and said we needed to reassess the situation. She said that with first time moms, if the baby isn't out after 2 hours of pushing, it probably isn't going to come out. She said that after 2 hours, the third hour of trying usually isn't very effective because the mom is just so worn out. She then stated that we could continue to try, and if I could just get the baby out a little bit further, she could try to pull her out with either a vacuum or forceps. However, she said that she herself had had a forceps delivery and as a mother she would not recommend that because the recovery is hard on both mom and baby. She also reached in to feel the baby and unfortunately she had turned back over and was sunny side up again, which was one more factor that was going to make it harder to deliver her vaginally.
She then turned to us and asked us what we wanted to do. Mr. Chocosaur turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. At this point, I was SO worn out and tired of hurting that I did not have the energy to even think about this (they even put an oxygen mask on me to help me get through the contractions). I told him that we could do whatever he wanted to do and that I didn't care anymore! He said it wasn't his decision, but mine... we asked the doctor what the likelihood was of continuing like this and delivering the baby okay - she said about 20%. So then we both kind of decided that we would just go ahead with the c-section. This was at 5:04pm and I remember looking at the clock and asking the doctor, "So this means I'll have my baby and this will be over with before 6:00, right?" My doctor smiled at me and said, "Oh yes, definitely. It won't take long at all." To which I replied, "Great... can I have some more drugs now?" Everyone in the room burst out laughing at this comment and the doctor said, "Yes, we'll get you taken care of."
Once the epidural was back on fully, I felt SO much better. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me some additional drugs, then checked to make sure I was completely numb up to my chest. By 5:24pm they were wheeling me over to the operating room. I remember being so cold from being exposed during the labor, plus all the cold IV fluids that they were giving me (I think I had received at least 2-3 liters by then!). I was shivering uncontrollably even though they put blankets on me. I am not sure if it was the drugs or just the sheer exhaustion of having been up for so long and having labored for so long, but the rest of the evening was a bit of a blur to me...
I remember them transferring me from the hospital bed to the operating room table and the nurse anesthetist talking to me and giving me drugs. I was still shivering uncontrollably at this point - I remember wishing I could warm up so I could feel a little more relaxed (even my teeth were chattering). I am not even sure exactly when they started but I remember thinking to myself that they weren't even waiting for my husband before making the initial incision. I heard them ask for someone to go get him, but I think they started cutting immediately thereafter. Once he was by my head, I asked him what the burning smell was and he told me it was the cautery they were using. I remember thinking to myself, "great, I can smell myself burning." Minutes later, at 5:42pm, they pulled her from my belly and I could hear her crying immediately. The first thing my Ob said was, "Oh she is just beautiful! So beautiful." Before taking her to get cleaned up and everything, they brought her by for me to see her and I immediately started crying. Mr. Chocosaur asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just so happy she is here and this is all over now." After that, they cleaned her up, weighed her, and I heard them give her an apgar score of 8 and then 9. She was 7 pounds, 4.4 ounces and 20 inches long.
My Ob actually told me that once they were in there, she could see that my pelvis was too small and that's why she wasn't progressing when I was pushing. She said I could have pushed until I was blue in the face, but my baby was not coming out except via c-section. She said that my pelvic outlet (which she could feel on her internal exams) was big enough, but my pelvic inlet (which she couldn't see until they opened me up) was way too small for her head to fit through. I just thought to myself, "Well, that would have been nice to know 24 hours ago!!"
After the surgery was done they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so I could recover and spend some time with her before she went to the nursery for her first bath. I remember feeling so groggy during this time that I don't even remember trying to breast feed her. I remember them undressing her so we could have some skin to skin contact before breast feeding, but that's it. Still, I remember how great it felt to finally have her snuggled up against me! I just looked at her and could not believe that this tiny little perfect baby was mine! It was a wonderful ending to very very long ordeal...
I know this is a very, very long post, but I always enjoyed reading other women's birth stories so I hope some of Pregosaur's readers have enjoyed reading mine. I suppose this will be my last post to this blog, as I am no longer a "Pregosaur." Life with a newborn has been crazy exhausting, stressful, and amazingly wonderful all at the same time. I'm not quite ready to transition over to Littlesaur just yet (don't know where I'd find the time!), but maybe someday when baby Chocosaur is a little older! It's been a pleasure being a contributor to this blog, and I wish nothing but the best to all the other Pregosaurs and readers of this blog as everyone makes their journey to motherhood!
On November 6th (39 weeks, 2 days) I had an Ob appointment and my cervix was "soft" but I still wasn't dilated. We discussed a possible induction on either November 12th (40 weeks, 1 day) or November 16th (40 weeks, 5 days) because the doctor did not want me going beyond 41 weeks. She had me come back on the 10th and based on that visit, we were going to decide what to do. On the 10th I went in and she told me that I was now a fingertip dilated but the baby hadn't dropped all the way.
Honestly, there was a lot of temptation to go ahead and schedule the induction for the 12th because at that point I was just done being pregnant. I was huge and uncomfortable, had trouble sleeping, and I was just eager to meet my little one! That said, I really wanted what was best for the baby so I put my feelings aside and we decided that we would try to give her at least a little more time before inducing. The nurses had already scheduled us for a November 12th induction at the hospital to hold a spot, but we simply rescheduled it for November 16th, hoping the baby would come in her own time before then.
Later that night after my appointment, I started having contractions. I always wondered during my pregnancy how I would know when I was having real contractions. I had heard that real contractions are painful, and that "you'll just know." I hate to also say it, but you really do "just know" when you start feeling them because they are very intense and mild to moderately painful.
My contractions were coming 5 minutes apart and lasted for 90 minutes. (The doctor had said to call if they lasted for longer than 60 minutes, but given how many contractions I had in the past, I thought I would give it more time.) So when I finally hit the 90 minute mark I figured I should call the doctor and let her know. Of course as soon as I went to grab the phone, the contractions started to go away. I was still having them, but at sporadic intervals...every 6-10 minutes with no clear pattern of progression. So I decided to just wait it out until morning to call. When I called, they said just to come in to get checked so we came in as a walk in appointment. The office was packed and we waited for over an hour to be seen. I was still having contractions at this point, but only every 10-15 minutes or so. After a long wait, I was put in an exam room and the doctor finally came in and checked me - I was still just a fingertip dilated - nothing had changed from the previous day. So they sent me home to wait some more. I was so sure that they were going to say I was at least 2 cm dilated, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
So I went home and went about my day as usual. Around 6pm, I started having contractions again. Again, these were very sporadic, but there was a definite period of time where they were 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. But again, they tapered off and started coming in different time intervals again so I decided to just sit through them. Before going to bed, I showed Mr. Chocosaur the log I was keeping of contractions that night and asked him if he thought I should call the doctor again - he said no, since they were all over the place like the were the previous night. So I went to bed, or tried to get some sleep at least. I never did fall asleep - I had been having trouble falling asleep for quite some time from just being so big and uncomfortable. Add some contractions to the mix and I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep. Then the contractions started to become more painful. I had stopped timing them but they suddenly felt like they were pretty frequent so I started timing them again. This time, they were coming every 2 minutes. Because they were so intense and coming so close together, I decided to call the on-call doctor to find out if I should come in or if I should see if these last for at least an hour (at this point they had only been coming for about 15 minutes). The on-call doctor told me to go drink a bunch of water and get hydrated, then wait and see if they would continue to last for a full hour. If they did, he wanted me to call back and then they would have to go in to the hospital. This was at around 11:30pm on the 11th. I got off the phone with him and then proceeded to go downstairs to get some water. At the bottom of the stairs, I felt a small gush. Nothing huge, in fact it felt very similar to other points in the pregnancy where some discharge would come out. In the past, I had thought my water was breaking but went to the bathroom to check, only find it was normal pregnancy discharge. So this time, when I went to check, I was actually surprised to see that underwear wet with no discharge present - and when I wiped, it was bright red blood. It was a small amount of fluid though, so I wasn't sure if this was actually my water breaking or if it was "bloody show."
So I called the doctor back and told him I wasn't sure if my water broke or if it was bloody show - he didn't really answer my question. He simply said, "Well, if your water broke, you should go in." I was a little annoyed by this but was glad that it was late enough in the night that I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be doing my delivery. So, I went and got my hospital bag, packed up the last of the toiletries that I had held off on packing, and we were at the hospital by about 12:30am (about 1 hour after my water broke). When I went to the admissions desk, they recognized my name and asked, "Weren't you supposed to be here tonight for an induction?" I smiled and told her that I was, but that we had decided to reschedule the induction to give the baby more time to come on her own.
Once I was admitted, a nurse came in to check on me. I was still just a fingertip dilated (I couldn't believe it!) and the nurse wasn't sure if my water actually broke or not because she said she had trouble feeling my bag of waters. She said it could have also been the bloody show, but couldn't say for sure. But they went ahead and hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor, took some blood, and started my IV. The nurse told me to get ready for a very long night, because first time moms tend to have very long labors. At this point, Mr. Chocosaur and my mom decided to go home and get some sleep and return in the morning. Before leaving, my hubby told me to try and get some rest - I told him there was no way I was getting any sleep while I was having painful contractions every 2 minutes!!
The nurse told me that I could get the epidural at any time I wanted it. I asked her how much it would slow down the labor and she said it would slow it down some, but not a lot. The nurse also informed me that if your water breaks, the contractions tend to be much stronger than if it has not. I tried really hard to deal with the pain for as long as possible, but with the contractions coming every 2 minutes and hours of labor ahead of me, I finally asked for the epidural around 3:30am. The nurse told me she'd just call and wake up the anesthesiologist and I'd feel better in no time. It didn't make me feel great that he'd be tapping into my spine minutes after waking up, but what choice did I have?
The anesthesiologist came quickly and then they had me sit up in bed with my legs dangling over the edge. I always thought that epidurals were administered while you were laying on your side (like a spinal tap) but I guess not. I was terrified about what it would feel like but it wasn't too bad. The worst part was having to sit still while he was doing it even though I was having contractions. They don't pause while you have the contractions, they just keep going. The nurse told me to lean over the edge of the bed with my back hunched over and cross my arms and breathe through the contractions but they were so painful I had to take my arms and brace her shoulders to get through it. The lidocaine stung a bit going in and when he went to give me the epidural I could still feel it going in! I screamed and he stopped; then he casually said, "I guess we're going to need some more lidocaine." After the second injection of lidocaine I did not feel any pain as he inserted it, but I did feel some pressure. There was another brief moment of pain as he did things. I have no idea what all he did but at one point he said, "You're going to feel a back cramp now, totally normal," and when I yelped he said, "good, that's what we want." Ha! Shortly thereafter, the drugs started to kick in and all the pain from the contractions was gone... it was wonderful. I could still feel slight pressure from each contraction, but all the pain was gone. This was around 3:45am. From then on, I was able to doze in and out of sleep. I wasn't ever able to get any really good sleep, as the nurse kept coming in to check on me, adjust my monitors, etc. Plus the blood pressure cuff was checking my blood pressure every 10 or 15 minutes and it would wake me up.
Around 6am the nurse called my Ob who was thankfully on-call that day - this is why we had scheduled the induction on the 12th in the first place. She wanted to go ahead and augment my labor with pitocin because once your water breaks, you need to deliver within 24 hours or else the risk of infection gets really high. So the nurse came in around 6:30am and checked my cervix one more time before starting the pitocin. I was 2 cm dilated (finally), so at least I was progressing a little bit. At this point, the pad they had put under me was soaked and there was meconium in it so the nurse said that it was definitely my water that had broken and wasn't just bloody show earlier. I was a little worried at this point due to the meconium being in the amniotic fluid - the whole reason we had discussed induction was to decrease the risk of meconium aspiration which goes up after 41 weeks. There was nothing we could do about it though, except wait and see.
So they started the pitocin in my IV - I couldn't really feel any difference in the contractions but from there on out, I was happy to see that I was progressing exactly as I should be. By 7:30am I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. By 10am I was 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. By noon I was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced but the baby had not totally dropped so the Ob was concerned about that. If she didn't drop, I wouldn't be able to deliver her vaginally. Furthermore, the doctor felt like the baby might be tilted a bit to where part of her head was face up. She said that babies that are "sunny side up" are more difficult to deliver so she wanted to try and reposition me to see if we get the baby to turn. So they had me labor on my side, with my leg elevated straight out in a stirrup. By 2pm I was 10cm dilated and the baby had dropped completely and turned over on her back - laboring on my side had worked! I was so relieved to hear this. The doctor said we could go ahead and start actively pushing so the nurse started setting everything up. She wheeled in a table and set it up with tools to assist in delivery (vacuum, forceps, etc) as well as instruments for an emergency c-section if needed. By 2:30pm the nurse let me go ahead and start pushing.
At this point I was thinking to myself that having a baby wasn't all that bad. I had painful contractions from about 11:15pm to 3:45am but after I had the epidural, the laboring had been a breeze. Don't get me wrong, the contractions were painful enough that I was desperate to get the epidural as soon as they would let me (we had to wait on the bloodwork results and for me to get enough IV fluids), but I could take them. Well, we tried pushing for about 15 minutes but I didn't "know" what muscles to use to push since I couldn't feel anything down there thanks to the wonderful epidural. Even though I knew this was normal, it kind of bothered me because I thought child birth was supposed to be "natural" and that I would just "know" how to push my baby out!
At that point, they decided that we'd have to turn off the epidural so that I could feel again and push more effectively. So we waited about 10-15 minutes for the epidural to wear off. This was the point where I gained an utmost respect for those moms who choose to labor med-free. The pain from the contractions was SO painful... I would even go as far as calling them unbearably painful!!! I expected pain, but not THAT kind of pain. It was so painful that I was crying - actually sobbing - with each contraction. This was not the labor that I had envisioned for myself.
In any case, the plan worked because once I could feel again, I was able to push more effectively. "More" being the key word - I was pushing, but not pushing hard enough for the baby to advance through the birth canal. Nonetheless, the nurse and doctor kept encouraging me and pushing me to keep going. At one point the nurse tried to tell me how she could see the baby's hair and that I just needed to push "a little harder" so she could come out. In order to try to get her to progress more with each push, they used a special technique with me while I was pushing. They said that if I lean over and hunch over my belly while pushing, it would help compress my belly and apply more pressure to get her to come out faster. So they took a bed sheet and had me hold onto it and they would pull me forward with each contraction/push (there was no way I was staying in that position on my own through that much pain!). They also elevated my legs and pulled them outward in order to get my pelvis to open up as much as possible.
So I pushed...and pushed...and pushed... my hospital gown was soaked in tears ...the contractions were coming every 1.5-2 minutes so I was pretty much sobbing non-stop. Nothing helped. Holding my husband's hand, trying to focus on meeting my baby, taking deep breaths, etc.... none of that helped with the pain. After about an hour and half of this, after I thought I was going to die of pain, they decided to turn the epidural back on a little bit to see if that helped. I am not sure why they didn't do this in the first place (I guess they thought I needed to feel everything in order to figure out which muscles to use...and with partial numbness I would have trouble doing so?) but once I had some pain relief, I felt much better and was able to push harder. In fact, the doctor said that those pushes were the strongest and most effective pushes I had made since we had started.
At 5:00pm, after I had been pushing for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, the doctor stopped everything and said we needed to reassess the situation. She said that with first time moms, if the baby isn't out after 2 hours of pushing, it probably isn't going to come out. She said that after 2 hours, the third hour of trying usually isn't very effective because the mom is just so worn out. She then stated that we could continue to try, and if I could just get the baby out a little bit further, she could try to pull her out with either a vacuum or forceps. However, she said that she herself had had a forceps delivery and as a mother she would not recommend that because the recovery is hard on both mom and baby. She also reached in to feel the baby and unfortunately she had turned back over and was sunny side up again, which was one more factor that was going to make it harder to deliver her vaginally.
She then turned to us and asked us what we wanted to do. Mr. Chocosaur turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. At this point, I was SO worn out and tired of hurting that I did not have the energy to even think about this (they even put an oxygen mask on me to help me get through the contractions). I told him that we could do whatever he wanted to do and that I didn't care anymore! He said it wasn't his decision, but mine... we asked the doctor what the likelihood was of continuing like this and delivering the baby okay - she said about 20%. So then we both kind of decided that we would just go ahead with the c-section. This was at 5:04pm and I remember looking at the clock and asking the doctor, "So this means I'll have my baby and this will be over with before 6:00, right?" My doctor smiled at me and said, "Oh yes, definitely. It won't take long at all." To which I replied, "Great... can I have some more drugs now?" Everyone in the room burst out laughing at this comment and the doctor said, "Yes, we'll get you taken care of."
Once the epidural was back on fully, I felt SO much better. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me some additional drugs, then checked to make sure I was completely numb up to my chest. By 5:24pm they were wheeling me over to the operating room. I remember being so cold from being exposed during the labor, plus all the cold IV fluids that they were giving me (I think I had received at least 2-3 liters by then!). I was shivering uncontrollably even though they put blankets on me. I am not sure if it was the drugs or just the sheer exhaustion of having been up for so long and having labored for so long, but the rest of the evening was a bit of a blur to me...
I remember them transferring me from the hospital bed to the operating room table and the nurse anesthetist talking to me and giving me drugs. I was still shivering uncontrollably at this point - I remember wishing I could warm up so I could feel a little more relaxed (even my teeth were chattering). I am not even sure exactly when they started but I remember thinking to myself that they weren't even waiting for my husband before making the initial incision. I heard them ask for someone to go get him, but I think they started cutting immediately thereafter. Once he was by my head, I asked him what the burning smell was and he told me it was the cautery they were using. I remember thinking to myself, "great, I can smell myself burning." Minutes later, at 5:42pm, they pulled her from my belly and I could hear her crying immediately. The first thing my Ob said was, "Oh she is just beautiful! So beautiful." Before taking her to get cleaned up and everything, they brought her by for me to see her and I immediately started crying. Mr. Chocosaur asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just so happy she is here and this is all over now." After that, they cleaned her up, weighed her, and I heard them give her an apgar score of 8 and then 9. She was 7 pounds, 4.4 ounces and 20 inches long.
My Ob actually told me that once they were in there, she could see that my pelvis was too small and that's why she wasn't progressing when I was pushing. She said I could have pushed until I was blue in the face, but my baby was not coming out except via c-section. She said that my pelvic outlet (which she could feel on her internal exams) was big enough, but my pelvic inlet (which she couldn't see until they opened me up) was way too small for her head to fit through. I just thought to myself, "Well, that would have been nice to know 24 hours ago!!"
After the surgery was done they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so I could recover and spend some time with her before she went to the nursery for her first bath. I remember feeling so groggy during this time that I don't even remember trying to breast feed her. I remember them undressing her so we could have some skin to skin contact before breast feeding, but that's it. Still, I remember how great it felt to finally have her snuggled up against me! I just looked at her and could not believe that this tiny little perfect baby was mine! It was a wonderful ending to very very long ordeal...
I know this is a very, very long post, but I always enjoyed reading other women's birth stories so I hope some of Pregosaur's readers have enjoyed reading mine. I suppose this will be my last post to this blog, as I am no longer a "Pregosaur." Life with a newborn has been crazy exhausting, stressful, and amazingly wonderful all at the same time. I'm not quite ready to transition over to Littlesaur just yet (don't know where I'd find the time!), but maybe someday when baby Chocosaur is a little older! It's been a pleasure being a contributor to this blog, and I wish nothing but the best to all the other Pregosaurs and readers of this blog as everyone makes their journey to motherhood!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Personal Boundaries and Pregnancy/Birth
I was going to wait for another day or so to write so that I could tell about the ultrasound I'm having tomorrow, but I couldn't wait to get these thoughts on "paper", in hopes that seeing it in black and white will make it more manageable in my mind, and maybe other peoples stories and comments will help too.
I can't remember how much I've related about me personally, but I am a pretty "personal" person. In terms of personal space especially. I do not like to be touched in crowds, and in fact Disney World was one of the worst experiences for me because of how much I detest being crowded! Now in relation to pregnancy- I'm sure you can see where this is headed- the concept of being touched without warning, and by strangers no less, gives me the heebie jeebies, big time! I have thought about this quite a bit, and I have decided for my own sanity I will have to politely step back and decline the touches from anyone I don't feel comfortable with, whether it looks rude or not. The people who know me WILL ask first, if they know me at all, and I'll be more than willing to abide.
The other thing that has come up in the same vein as the touching is the idea of personal boundaries during labour. This is actually even hard for me to talk about, so rather than assure me that "I won't care about this at the time" or "the pain will be a distraction from any other concern" et cetera please just think about it like this.... I still have twentyish weeks to worry about this particular concern, and have never experienced labour and delivery before so I have no idea what to believe will happen during that time regardless of what people assure me.
I think I need to backtrack for a minute and explain that this came up because I happened upon a site for a book I am interested in "Your best birth" and may have watched a video of a woman in labour while the baby was having a hard time crowning. It. Was. A. Bad. Idea. I thought it would be educational, but good grief it was terrifying. The woman had about ten people crowded around her nether region touching her whenever they felt like it... and wherever they felt like it. Now I am not so naive as to think that some touching is not necessary, but it was a shock to my system to see how involved it actually gets! One person practically had their hand in her butt for goodness sakes! Not only that, but her entire vaginal area didn't even look remotely familiar to me, it was swollen and.... different. I'm not judging at all and I must admit it is commendable to have the guts to put a birth video on the internet, but having never seen anything like it before it was pretty alarming.
I need to know that I will have some control over what is going to go on during this experience. I am thinking that it might have been either too soon for me to watch something like that, or that maybe I shouldn't have watched it at all. I think I have to watch more during prenatal classes and I'm even more scared of what is going to happen in those videos!
I should have maybe prefaced this post with the fact that I'm not normally queasy or grossed out easily, but this experience has rocked me to my core, and I'm not even sure I can do this anymore. I was actually looking forward to the experience to some extent to live up to the challenge that is presented to us as women. I felt confident that I could come out of this like a warrior!
I know I'm just talking out loud, but I haven't heard anyone else talk about these fears before and now I feel like I'm the only one. Maybe this will go away as I learn more about the experience, and maybe my discomfort over being "unneccessarily touched" will go away as well. Who knows. All I do know at this point is that my blood pressure is raised every time I even think about that video.
So, I have to stop thinking about it, and on to happier subjects! I have my BIG ultrasound tomorrow and I have decided to bring a small token in for the ultrasound tech in hopes that they will tell me the gender at the time rather than waiting for the stupid report! So wish me luck!
I can't remember how much I've related about me personally, but I am a pretty "personal" person. In terms of personal space especially. I do not like to be touched in crowds, and in fact Disney World was one of the worst experiences for me because of how much I detest being crowded! Now in relation to pregnancy- I'm sure you can see where this is headed- the concept of being touched without warning, and by strangers no less, gives me the heebie jeebies, big time! I have thought about this quite a bit, and I have decided for my own sanity I will have to politely step back and decline the touches from anyone I don't feel comfortable with, whether it looks rude or not. The people who know me WILL ask first, if they know me at all, and I'll be more than willing to abide.
The other thing that has come up in the same vein as the touching is the idea of personal boundaries during labour. This is actually even hard for me to talk about, so rather than assure me that "I won't care about this at the time" or "the pain will be a distraction from any other concern" et cetera please just think about it like this.... I still have twentyish weeks to worry about this particular concern, and have never experienced labour and delivery before so I have no idea what to believe will happen during that time regardless of what people assure me.
I think I need to backtrack for a minute and explain that this came up because I happened upon a site for a book I am interested in "Your best birth" and may have watched a video of a woman in labour while the baby was having a hard time crowning. It. Was. A. Bad. Idea. I thought it would be educational, but good grief it was terrifying. The woman had about ten people crowded around her nether region touching her whenever they felt like it... and wherever they felt like it. Now I am not so naive as to think that some touching is not necessary, but it was a shock to my system to see how involved it actually gets! One person practically had their hand in her butt for goodness sakes! Not only that, but her entire vaginal area didn't even look remotely familiar to me, it was swollen and.... different. I'm not judging at all and I must admit it is commendable to have the guts to put a birth video on the internet, but having never seen anything like it before it was pretty alarming.
I need to know that I will have some control over what is going to go on during this experience. I am thinking that it might have been either too soon for me to watch something like that, or that maybe I shouldn't have watched it at all. I think I have to watch more during prenatal classes and I'm even more scared of what is going to happen in those videos!
I should have maybe prefaced this post with the fact that I'm not normally queasy or grossed out easily, but this experience has rocked me to my core, and I'm not even sure I can do this anymore. I was actually looking forward to the experience to some extent to live up to the challenge that is presented to us as women. I felt confident that I could come out of this like a warrior!
I know I'm just talking out loud, but I haven't heard anyone else talk about these fears before and now I feel like I'm the only one. Maybe this will go away as I learn more about the experience, and maybe my discomfort over being "unneccessarily touched" will go away as well. Who knows. All I do know at this point is that my blood pressure is raised every time I even think about that video.
So, I have to stop thinking about it, and on to happier subjects! I have my BIG ultrasound tomorrow and I have decided to bring a small token in for the ultrasound tech in hopes that they will tell me the gender at the time rather than waiting for the stupid report! So wish me luck!
Friday, November 13, 2009
She has arrived!
Yes, our beautiful baby GIRL (it's a girl!!!) arrived this past weekend. We couldn't be more in love with her if we tried.
I cannot believe it's been a month since I last posted on Pregosaur. I'm sorry for my silence, ladies, but the bed rest was getting to me and I really didn't feel like I had much to add to the blog. Mentally, I was just exhausted from thinking about all the medical information being thrown our way, and did not feel like writing about it...
Long story short, I started getting ultrasound monitoring (which still showed zero amniotic fluid, but growth on target), a fetal echo test, and daily home visits from ante-natal nurses (they did non-stress tests) starting in my 24th week. The nurses were optimistic and told me to hang in there. The doctors were mostly doom and gloom, preparing us for the worst.
We had a couple of labour scares, but we were able to complete a round of steroids in my 25th week.
And then the BIG EVENT happened on Sunday, November 8, 2009. Our daughter was born after 26 weeks, 1 day gestation.
My labour was pretty quick, which I understand is normal for pre-term babies. The evening before she was born, I started getting lots of pelvic pressure and I felt like the baby had dropped. I had talked to the nurse about it, but because I was not exhibiting any other symptoms of labour, she was unconcerned. I went to bed at my usual time, around 10:00 pm, and I slept well.
At 3:00 am, I woke up to pee and started feeling a backache and menstrual type cramps that were coming and going. After lying there for about 45 minutes, I woke up Mr. Legalosaur and got him to help me time them. We timed them for another 45 minutes or so, when it became obvious that they were coming and going every 4 minutes very predictably. Despite the fact that I was not having any contractions in the front pelvic region, we thought it best to go to the hospital to get assessed.
So we hopped in the car and made our way to the hospital. When I got there, the nurse hooked me up to the non-stress machine and walked away. The pains were now coming and going every 3 minutes. But there were no contractions showing up on the monitoring strip. I am no medical expert, but I had seen enough monitor strips over the few weeks previous that I could tell that the baby's heartrate was dipping every time I had one of my labour pains. Yet, they just let me sit there and wait.
I could tell the nurse did not believe I was truly in labour and thought that I was being a big baby. They had me sit on the monitor for almost an hour before the resident finally came in to see me. And that was only after I started vomiting that the nurse started to take me seriously and went to go get the resident.
A quick speculum check showed that I was already at 6 cm. (Turns out I had back labour only, which means no contractions showing up on the monitor!) The resident said, "I can see lots of black hair."
And that's when chaos broke out in my little assessment room. Suddenly there was a flurry of activity. Four nurses swooped in and started putting in my IV, filling out paperwork, adjusting my bed for transport, etc. I was very scared at that point, and in pain, so I don't really remember much of this point. I know I asked if I could get something for the pain, and they answered that I could...
They did another check of my cervix just 10 minutes later, and at that point I was at 9 cm. And they freaked out that I had progressed so quickly. The NICU team was called down stat, and I was wheeled away to the delivery room in the OR.
As I was being wheeled to the OR, I asked again about pain medication. I was told no, there was no time, we needed to get this baby out now. While I am not averse to the idea of a natural labour, I had intended to have some idea of how to breathe and focus, how to push, what to do... But I didn't have a clue. I wasn't ready. I was reeling from the idea that we were having our baby NOW and I wasn't ready for it. I really, truly thought we'd make it to at least 28 weeks.
In the OR suite, Mr. Legalosaur met with me after changing into scrubs and a fancy hairnet-shower-cap thingy. They put my legs into the air, and then I was told to push. And so push I did. It was painful, but not as painful as it could have been given my baby's tiny size. Really, the worst part was the resident pulling and stretching open my perineum so that there was lots of room for the baby to come out with minimal trauma. I think it took about 5 "episodes" of pushing (you push three or four quickly successive times when a contraction comes), about 15 minutes total, and our child was born.
They quickly cut her cord and rushed her over to the waiting NICU team. I heard one weak cry, and that was it. They didn't even tell me if I had a son or a daughter. I had to ask the ob-gyn to go check and let me know. She came back and told us it's a girl... and I remember thinking "A daughter! Our daughter." but mostly I was dying to see or hear her. And I was worried to death that she didn't survive the birth or was not going to live before I could feel her and touch her.
Sadly, the whole thing was such a whirlwind and we forgot our camera in the car. By the time we remembered and wanted to run down and get it, there was no time because baby was coming NOW. So all we have of our daughter's first hours of life are a couple of cell phone pictures on Mr. Legalosaur's blackberry. We had discussed previously that he should accompany her to the NICU, being that I would have to spend some time in recovery. If she did end up passing away, I didn't want her to pass on without a parent there. Luckily, he felt the same way.
I had to stay in the OR to deliver the placenta and to monitor my bleeding. I was there for almost an hour after the birth until I was finally put into a wheelchair and wheeled to my room on the recovery ward. Then they had to do vital monitoring, go through aftercare, and the nurse wanted me to go to bathroom with her watching to make sure that all was well down there. And then they forced me to eat breakfast before they would wheel me to the NICU, so I ate my food in record time and paged the nurse to take me up to see my baby girl.
The first time I saw her was almost two hours after she was born. I dissolved into tears at how tiny and fragile she looked. The neonatologist told me a bunch of stuff about her lungs and condition, but I don't really remember what she said now...
Turns out the likely reason for my early labour (aside from the premature rupture of my membranes) was infection. My placenta had areas of pus and infection on it.
Today, our little baby girl is doing amazingly well considering her prematurity (*knock on wood*). She is tiny, but feisty. She's proven to be the fighter I always knew she was, all throughout the pregnancy. When she grips my finger in the NICU, I cannot help but think that she would not be here if we had decided to terminate our pregnancy when my water broke at 20 weeks. I am soooo glad that we made the decision to wait and see what the future would bring. She is our miracle, the light of our lives. I treasure and cherish every moment I get to spend with her, and wouldn't trade them for the world.
And with that, this will be my last post on Pregosaur. I have decided that I have too much on my plate to go on and post on Littlesaur, as much as I would like to share my experience as a NICU parent. But I know I need to focus all my attention and energy on our daughter, and so that's what I'm going to do.
Thank you to all the readers for your thoughts, support and encouragement throughout my pregnancy. I will check back and see how the rest of the Pregosaurs are doing from time to time, and cheer you all on from the sidelines. Good luck to you all!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I Don't Like This Game...
... the waiting game, that is. Today is my due date and there are still no promising signs of labor on the horizon. I've had contractions for the last 3 weeks. Earlier in my pregnancy, I had asked another pregnant mom how she was able to differentiate Braxton Hicks contractions from real contractions (I've been having BH contractions since week 20). She said that real contractions sort of take your breath away and the pain is very similar to bad cramping during your period. My uterus gets so hard and tight with the BH contractions I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to discern the difference, but once I started having real contractions, I definitely knew what they were.
One evening a few weeks ago I started having contractions 15 minutes apart for an hour, then 10 minutes apart for an hour, and then they just stopped. I swore after that happened that I was going to see the doctor at 37 weeks and she would tell me that I was dilated and ready to deliver this baby soon! Alas, I was not.
Then there was another evening when I had contractions every 5 minutes for an hour. They say to call if you have contractions every 5 minutes lasting for over an hour, or if your water breaks, so I thought surely I was going into labor. Silly me, because as soon as the one hour mark hit, the contractions stopped! Still, with all those contractions I thought I would definitely be at least a little dilated at my next appointment at 39 weeks but all the doctor could tell me was that my cervix was starting to soften.
I just went in again yesterday at 39 weeks and 6 days and I'm apparently making some progress. Not much, but a little....today I was "a fingertip dilated" and my cervix is softer than it was previously. The baby has dropped a little further and my doctor said she could easily break my water at this point if she wanted to. She also said she could feel my pelvis "opening up." So, the baby could come at any time now, or she could take her sweet little time.
At this point, I am so ready for this baby to be here. I can hardly walk anywhere without getting winded (though I'm trying to walk a lot to induce labor) and I just cannot get comfortable enough at night to get some decent sleep. I toss and turn, and once I am finally able to fall asleep, I am woken up by the urge to pee again. I've heard lots of moms say that this is common and it's nature's way of getting you used to all the sleepless nights that come with taking care of a newborn. That's probably true, but that doesn't change the fact that I would love to get a good night's sleep right now!
We've decided to schedule an induction for next Monday if the baby doesn't come on her own sooner. I will be 40 weeks and 5 days at that point. It's my understanding that some doctors won't even induce labor until after 41 weeks, but my doctor said that she doesn't like to let her patients go beyond 41 weeks because the baby's risk of meconium aspiration are much higher then. We had originally discussed inducing as early as tomorrow, but have decided to give the baby some more time to come out on her own.
If you do some research or ask around, you'll find all sort of methods out there that are supposed to induce labor. Shopasaur blogged about it here. I'm not entirely sure that I believe in any of them, but we're going to give some of those methods a shot (can't really hurt, right? Except for the castor oil - blech!). We'd really prefer for this baby to come in her own time, but if it's better for her to be induced next week then that's what we'll do. Either way, you should be hearing an announcement from us any day now...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Still pregnant. . .
Here I am, 38 weeks pregnant. My baby is not even born yet and already she's not listening to me! (re: previous post)
Interestingly enough, as soon as I hit 37 weeks, DH and I began engaging in "natural ways to induce labor," some of which include:
1. Sex
Semen supposedly contains prostaglandins, which can soften or 'ripen' the cervix. They say whatever got the baby in will get the baby out. So far it's done nothing but given me false labor, which is NOT fun.
2. Spicy food
Spicy food inducing labor is one of those old wives' tales that everyone hears about, but no one personally knows a pregnant woman who ate spicy food and went into labor. Oh well. I ate spicy pad thai one night and spicy pho the next night, and NOTHIN.
3. Castor oil
There are plenty of "recipes" for castor oil that women swear by, but I draw the line there. I refuse. Plus I've read that it can cause lots of painful contractions, with no real labor. It can also cause diarrhea, which just does not sound fun during pregnancy, or ever, for that matter.
4. Walking
Lots of women say that they went for a long walk, went home to shower and had their baby later that night. There's no research or evidence that supports walking will lead to labor, but it's good exercise anyway.
5. Accupressure
Some believe that there are certain pressure points on one's body that will help induce labor. See here for more information
6. Nipple stimulation
Who knows. See here.
7. Pineapple
Pineapple supposedly has some sort of enzyme that can induce labor, but only in large amounts. (??)
Well, we haven't tried EVERYTHING, but we've tried a lot of it (walking, sex, spicy food, pineapple), and nothing but false labor [I started having Braxton Hicks contractions around 34 weeks-- my stomach gets as hard as a watermelon and I can feel intense pressure... but they are irregular and don't intensify]. I woke up today (for some strange reason) in a very peaceful, strange mood and I realized that I don't really believe in any of these "natural induction" methods anyway. My baby will come when she's ready. And most likely, she's in my belly just cruising, not wanting to face the world yet. So while Mr. Shopasaur and I are extremely anxious/nervous/excited to FINALLY meet her, I guess she's not ready to meet us yet. But she'll let us know when she is. :)
Interestingly enough, as soon as I hit 37 weeks, DH and I began engaging in "natural ways to induce labor," some of which include:
1. Sex
Semen supposedly contains prostaglandins, which can soften or 'ripen' the cervix. They say whatever got the baby in will get the baby out. So far it's done nothing but given me false labor, which is NOT fun.
2. Spicy food
Spicy food inducing labor is one of those old wives' tales that everyone hears about, but no one personally knows a pregnant woman who ate spicy food and went into labor. Oh well. I ate spicy pad thai one night and spicy pho the next night, and NOTHIN.
3. Castor oil
There are plenty of "recipes" for castor oil that women swear by, but I draw the line there. I refuse. Plus I've read that it can cause lots of painful contractions, with no real labor. It can also cause diarrhea, which just does not sound fun during pregnancy, or ever, for that matter.
4. Walking
Lots of women say that they went for a long walk, went home to shower and had their baby later that night. There's no research or evidence that supports walking will lead to labor, but it's good exercise anyway.
5. Accupressure
Some believe that there are certain pressure points on one's body that will help induce labor. See here for more information
6. Nipple stimulation
Who knows. See here.
7. Pineapple
Pineapple supposedly has some sort of enzyme that can induce labor, but only in large amounts. (??)
Well, we haven't tried EVERYTHING, but we've tried a lot of it (walking, sex, spicy food, pineapple), and nothing but false labor [I started having Braxton Hicks contractions around 34 weeks-- my stomach gets as hard as a watermelon and I can feel intense pressure... but they are irregular and don't intensify]. I woke up today (for some strange reason) in a very peaceful, strange mood and I realized that I don't really believe in any of these "natural induction" methods anyway. My baby will come when she's ready. And most likely, she's in my belly just cruising, not wanting to face the world yet. So while Mr. Shopasaur and I are extremely anxious/nervous/excited to FINALLY meet her, I guess she's not ready to meet us yet. But she'll let us know when she is. :)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Classes, classes, which classes to take?
I'm about 18 weeks along now, so I've started to think about which childbirth classes we need to sign up for. And, honestly, it's a little overwhelming! I mean, oh boy, the choices!
So, to narrow down the choices, I have devised three simple questions that should help:
(Note, the questions may be simple, but the answers are not! So, for those of you who are TTC, start thinking about these basic things now so that you'll be ahead of the game when you get to this point!)
(1) The first thing to decide is where to deliver... Hopsital? Birthing center? At home? There is an endless array of options. And where you decide to deliver will impact who your doctor is as well as what kind of education you need to prepare for birth. (This might also be a good time to think about whether you'll want a doula, but that could really be another post altogether!)
OR
The pregnancy books all say that if it's your first child, then you are better off at the hospital. Then, once you know what you are in for, or know that you won't have complications, you can consider options like delivering at your home or having a water birth.
I also know that my good friend who just gave birth in January toiled for 40+ hours because she wanted to deliver naturally at a birthing center, but wasn't progressing. Then her water broke and she had to be taken to the hospital and deliver by an emergency c-section. Oy vey!
My birth plan?
It's simple: Get the baby out alive - and fast! That's it. Really, what more is there to say?
In my case, I chose my doctor first. It's actually a practice of several doctors. And they deliver at a hospital, so we pretty much just decided to go the easy route and deliver at the hospital.
Most hospitals offer a wide array of choices for you in terms of classes that you can take. Birthing centers also offer classes. So depending on where you deliver, that should be the first place you look when deciding which classes to take.
We settled on a Childbirth Preparation Class offered at our hospital by a nurse who works with my doctor's practice. Her classes are smaller than the regular hospital ones. In that class, we'll get to tour the maternity ward of the hospital, and learn other things, such as signs and symptoms of labor, medications during labor, relaxation and distraction techniques, stages of labor, vaginal delivery, vacuum, forceps and c-section details, newborn care, infant feeding, etc. Cost is $180 for the 5-hour class.
Whew! Done. Signed up for the July 12th class! I'll report back on how it goes...
2. The second decision that you need to consider: Will you be attempting a natural delivery, i.e., no drugs and baby will come out vaginally? Or, will you be accepting an epidural to dull the pain, and is a c-section an option or preference?
Again, many pregnancy books say that it's easier to deliver naturally for your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc., child because by then your body is used to it and you also know what you're in for.
But for your first? Take the drugs. Be prepared for anything, including a c-section, if it's deemed medically necessary. At least that's what I plan to do. Refer back to my birth plan.
That said, some women really want to do it naturally, and that's fine. More power to them. These women would be better off investing in classes that would help them achieve that result, such as The Bradley Method, and getting a doctor that supports their decision. If you don't care so much, then you don't really need to spend the money ($400 for Bradley Method classes) or time (we're talking months) to master a method that will help you deliver naturally. Capish?
In our case, I don't think that a time-intensive and expensive class like the Bradley Method was right for us. But I did want to take some class that teaches relaxation techniques, so I am considering signing us up for a Lamaze class ($75 for two full Sundays of instruction).
3. The third question to consider really could wait a while. No need to decide this one right away. You have time. But, basically, it's this: Do you plan to breastfeed?
If you do, there are classes that you can take to prepare for that. Because word is that it's not as easy as you would think. You'll want to check with your hospital, birthing center, etc., to see if there will be any lactatian consultants available for you after you deliver. You might want to hire one ahead of time who can come to your room after you deliver and give you some help.
As for me, I have decided that I will try it. I don't know if it'll work or if I'll stick with it for very long. But I will give it a go. There is a nonprofit Breastfeeding Center in my city that offers FREE breastfeeding classes! I have been talking to another woman in my prenatal yoga class about going to a class in July or August together.
Whew! That sums up a lot! I may need to revisit parts of this post as I progress. But with classes filling up very early, I needed to make these decisions and reserve my space ASAP! Hopefully this post will help others figure out how to navigate the overwhelming array of birthing choices out there!
