Cooking a big baby

I am 33 weeks and 5 days, I am so thankful to have made it to this point with all the bumps along the way. I had my bi-weekly check up yesterday and the doctor measured me again. I am measuring at 36 cms which is a few weeks ahead of schedule. They noticed this about a month ago and sent us for the ultrasound then. The tech estimated her at 4.5 pounds, so I can only imagine she is larger than that now. The doctor suggested I start coming in once a week and we will keep an eye on her size. They also are concerned about the gestational diabetes playing a factor in her becoming a plump baby.

So pretty much at this point 1. Dr said if I go into labor they are not going to stop me and 2. depending on her size we may have to induce. Looking at a calendar if I am measuring 36 weeks now and ideally they would like me to get to 37 weeks according to my due date that brings us to November 20th. Thats about 4 weeks away. I can't even wrap my mind around it. The Mr. has been working late and we haven't even really had a chance to talk about it being I am asleep by the time he gets home and the mornings aren't time for serious conversation.

I feel like there is so much to do, I am excited and nervous and anxious at the same time. Her room is halfway there, we don't have a sitter lined up and if I have to be induced I most likely will also have an epidural. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I was just looking forward to at least trying to be as natural as possible.

My Gestational diabetes has been good, I submitted my weekly numbers to the counselor and she was pretty happy with them which is great. Thats another week I won't have to be on pills or shots.

I can definitely tell that she is running out of room, her movements are at some points sharp and I can feel every one of them.

But we are excited and its 9 pm which has pretty much been my bedtime and I am so sleepy. At least it is supposed to be a quiet weekend.

Gestational Diabetes Update & Ultrasound Picture

I will first update with the Gestational Diabetes as I went to the diabetes clinic on Friday. I met with a very friendly nurse who gave me my meter for testing and explained that we are going to try to combat this with diet first and see how that goes. Pretty much what is going on is my body is not creating enough insulin to fight off the sugar in my blood, that can be bad because baby will be receiving more sugar than needed and can lead to a larger birth weight baby.

 So I started pricking my finger and testing my blood Friday morning, I have to test four times a day. First thing when I wake up, and an hour after each meal. My pattern so far has been to have a higher number after breakfast than I do the rest of the day. I have also noticed that the more exercising I do (i.e. walking all around the Bills/ Eagles football game yesterday) the lower my numbers are. It is quite interesting to see how what you eat and what you do directly effect your body.

As for now they are having me control this by diet, no extra suggary stuff, careful with the carbs, under 30g a meal and try not to over-do it. All of which can be done, plus this will just make me get in the habit of what I am eating so after she is hear and Weight Watchers calls my name I will be pretty used to it. I have not been tracking my food in a journal just yet but have made notations next to my numbers if they have been high. I am supposed to have a blood sugar number of under 130 an hour after every meal, Saturday morning I had a bowl of Cheerios and an hour later it was at 132. So I know I have to limit my intake of milk early in the day. Bummer because cereal and milk have been my staple this whole pregnancy but I will do whatever it takes.

 My last appointment the doctor measured me and told me I was measuring about 3 weeks ahead and sent me for an ultrasound this morning to get a weight on the baby. Our little pumpkin measured at 33 weeks and 4 days (just about 3 weeks ahead) and 4.5 pounds. That is crazy. They do not change the due date as it helps to keep track of the lung development (learn something new everyday!) but they will keep an eye on us to make sure she doesn't get too big. This appointment and this news sent me into an anxiety frenzy. I feel not ready yet, work is getting crazy busy as the fourth quarter is our insane time. I work in a health insurance brokerage so our busiest time is right around my due date. She is head down already which is great and they measured my cervix, 5.25 cm which is also very wonderful. We confirmed she is a she and got to listen to her heartbeat again.

I have perma-grin on my face lately as we were able to see her little face in 3D and I am just reassured that everything is going okay. Below is our baby girl, aww! I know right!

No Shots For Me!

Hello World, I have emerged from my rock. I finally have shaken this head cold thing. Thank goodness! Never did I know that a tiny little cold would rock my world like this one. It really is true that when your sick and pregnant its a whole lot worse.

I was asked at my last appointment if I wanted the flu vaccine, now I had this cold so they wouldn't give it to me anyway. At least thats what the paperwork said but I declined. I have not been faced with this decision before so I had about four minutes to think about it while I was changing from the waist down to have an internal exam. Even before pregnancies I have never received a shot so I thought to myself that I just would not start now and I really did not want it. I am sure others have been faced with this decision but its just one of those things where if I get the flu I will kick myself for not having the shot but if I don't I will be glad I declined.

This week has really been a wash for me, my house is a disaster and I have been in bed before nine most nights. I am determined to stay awake a little longer tonight as my dad and littlest sister are driving four hours to my house to drop off her old juvenile furniture then trekking to Vermont for a weekend in the mountains.

I am meeting with the diabetes center tomorrow morning to review a meal plan that they would like me on to combat the diabetes thing I have going on. I think I have been pretty good with my eating all week, I even tested it with a co-workers meter this morning. About two hours after I ate breakfast my blood sugar was at 84 which is perfect, so I just have to keep doing what I am doing I think. We will see, I will be sure to update you all after I talk with the nurse/nutritionist lady.

Fail, Pass, Fail..

I feel like I have fallen off the face of the earth. Sorry about that everyone. My body has been fighting off a cold and its kicking my butt. I am normally not a complainer and I will weather the storm but I went home early yesterday and slept for hours. That means I am sick sick. Bummer.

Well I can happily say that camping can be enjoyed 29 weeks pregnant. There were a few moments i.e. rolling of of the air mattress was difficult, traveling back and forth to the bathrooms a million times, and  the hills oh the hills. But for the most part the weather was nice and warm, it rained a little but not too bad. Everyone commented on what a trooper I was, I felt good about that but its one of the last times we will all be together before our little one arrived and I wanted that.

Last week I also went for my glucose screening and I got a call from the doctor yesterday. Bad news bears. I failed two of the three hours of my test. For those who don't know or have not experienced this super awesome test before, the take your blood, give you a drink that is really sugary and then test your blood every hour on the hour for three hours. I asked the doctor what my numbers were as 1. I am curious about my health 2. Although I may not be a doctor I feel I have a right to know. The doctor told me my fasting was at 91 which is perfect, before I got pregnant a while back I used a friends glucose screening kit because I wanted to know what it was and it was 97 so not much has changed on that end. She then went on to tell me that my one hour was 197, it was supposed to be under 180. FAIL. My second hour was 146, it is supposed to be below 155. Pass!!! And my third was 165, it is supposed to be under 140. FAIL.

So as I explained this to my husband and my mother this is whats going on in my body.

Pregnancy hormones can block insulin from doing its job. When this happens, glucose levels may increase in a pregnant woman's blood.

You are at greater risk for gestational diabetes if you:

• Are older than 25 when you are pregnant (I am 25)
• Have a family history of diabetes (Not that I know of)
• Gave birth to a baby that weighed more than 9 pounds or had a birth defect ( First pregnancy to term)
• Have sugar (glucose) in your urine when you see your doctor for a regular prenatal visit (did in the beginning, not since about 10 weeks)
• Have high blood pressure - (Have been in the normal range this whole pregnancy)
• Have too much amniotic fluid (Measured normal at my last Ultrasound)
• Have had an unexplained miscarriage or stillbirth (Have had two miscarriages in the first trimester)
• Were overweight before your pregnancy (My BMI classified me as overweight)
  
  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001898/
  
  
  The doctor told me that because my fasting level was normal and the results from this test she believes that I can manage this by my diet. I had the diabetes clinic call me this morning to schedule an appointment for next Friday. At this point in the pregnancy, I will have to watch what I am eating for 10 weeks, while probably gaining some great knowledge about food. Positive spin on it! 
  
  
  For now I am going to blow my nose, eat some more Zycam and poke around on Pintrest.com, my new obsession.

three hour glucose screening

So I have to go for my three hour glucose screening tomorrow morning. Boo. I did not pass the one hour, I am slightly nervous that I won't pass. I don't have any issues but it would just be my luck.

My ribs are still killing me and I am exiting the honeymoon stage. I think I had my first braxton hicks contraction this week. My belly got all tight and slightly uncomfortable while in the grocery store, of course I was in the baking isle near cake so I may or may not have have placed a box of brownies in my cart.... Sue me!

Other than that, things are going well. I got my shower invite in the mail from my mother. YEA! It was really adorable, thank you Tiny Prints. I am so in love with the fact that its my baby shower.  Mine. All Mine. Well and babies but I have been to so many others and this time its all for my baby!

This crazy almost 30 week pregnant lady is going camping this weekend so I am sure I will have some fun stories when I return. It is our annual Clam-O-Rama as we call it, pretty much its all the old college buddies meet up and act like we are in college again. Its fun for a weekend of no cares and camping. My main concern is the air mattress. Hm. We will see. My belly doesn't seem to have grown much this week, but I have not seen these people in a few months so I am sure they will all be surprised.

Any-who I have my test tomorrow, wish me luck. I will post the results as soon as I know. But for now its off to the wilderness and there are s'mores with my name all over it.

P.S. Congrats Hungrysaur! I am so thrilled for you, keeping your family in my thoughts.

OMG...I could be getting induced!

I just got home from seeing the doctor who is overseeing my gestational diabetes. While I was there, he asked me what the plan was, and that conversation got him all riled up and pissed off at the hospital...

Me: "The plan?"
Him: "Right. You know, for the birth. You're very nearly 38 weeks."
Me: "Oh. Well...there isn't one."
Him (after a long pause): "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well I saw Dr S [my OBGYN] yesterday, and he thinks I need to be induced, but it's not up to him - it's up to the doctors at the hospital. And Dr H [high risk doctor that I see at the hospital clinic] is still on vacation and will be for a while longer, so I'm seeing other doctors until then. It's a different doctor every week, depending on who is filling in for him."
Him: "So...who is making this decision?"
Me: "I don't know. Whoever is there at my appointment next week, I guess? Maybe?"
Him: "But you don't know who that will be."
Me: "No."
Him: "And they may or may not decide to induce you next week."
Me: "Right."
Him: "Do they know you have GD?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "And they know you're having twins, right?"
Me: "Yes, of course."
(another long pause)
Him: "RIGHT. Look, I don't usually get mixed up in the obstetrics side of things, but I'm going to call the hospital right now. This is ridiculous - you don't have anyone caring for your case!"

So he called the hospital, talked to the head nurse and gave her a rundown of the situation, then asked to be transferred to Dr N. I'd never been told about this doctor, but apparently he's another high risk specialist like Dr H. My GD doctor told Dr N: "She is 37.5 weeks pregnant with twins. She has gestational diabetes. Her blood pressure has shot up to 150/90. She has edema. She is clearly extremely uncomfortable and struggling. She needs someone to make a decision about her case - NOW."

So I'm seeing Dr N at 4.45pm today. My GD doctor told me to be prepared to be admitted, just in case they decide I need to go in tonight (!!!). Of course, Dr N may want to schedule it for tomorrow (!!!), or - you never know - he may even decide I can wait until next week (which is still a yaaay because at least a decision would have been made!).

I'm equal parts excited and terrified that this could be happening so soon...on the one hand, I am SO READY for these babies to be born, and on the other hand, I'm utterly petrified at the thought! It almost makes me want to go, "Wait! Maybe they can stay in there another 10 or 15 years. Let's all just sit down and talk - we can negotiate!" (Mr Bibliosaur, by the way, is beside himself at the idea that he could get to meet his sons so soon - he has been SO eager and impatient for these little ones to be born!)

So please send some good vibes or happy thoughts or whatever else you can spare that everything will go smoothly, no matter what Dr N decides. Honestly, it's just nice to have someone who will actually be able to make a decision about my case!

Living with GD

No one wants to get gestational diabetes - that really goes without saying. But it does happen, and I'd like to say one thing about it: it's not that bad.

No really - it's not! I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better or to downplay the risks it brings to your pregnancy (because it does bring some risks). But it's really not as bad as it sounds, or as difficult to live with as you might think.

Let's talk about food. While it's true that you do have to cut back on refined carbohydrates (sugars, white bread, potatoes, white rice...basically the white foods), it's not like there's nothing left to eat. I can still eat carbs - in fact, I HAVE to eat them because your body and your babies need a certain amount of carbs at every meal - but they're in a different form. Instead of regular potatoes, I eat sweet potatoes. Instead of white bread, I have wholegrain bread. Instead of white rice, I cook Basmati rice (which to most people looks and tastes virtually the same as white rice anyway). I can still have pasta, as long as it's a reasonable serve and not a massive bowl - in fact, last night I had delish homemade mac&cheese as a side dish!

My guidelines from my dietitian are that I have 30 grams of carbs at breakfast, 45g at both lunch and dinner, and 15-30g at snacks (at least two snacks per day, between meals). It's important that the carbs are paired with a protein, which helps to slow the sugar's absorption into your system. Here's what I might have on a typical day, just as an example:

Breakfast: yogurt with 1/4 cup of muesli, or 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of toast and a glass of milk
Morning snack: 2 wholegrain crackers with cottage cheese (my crackers are quite large, so you may need more depending on what kind you have), or some mini pretzels with cheese
Lunch: chicken or tuna with lettuce on wholegrain seeded bread and a handful of grapes, or a chef salad that includes mixed beans, cheese and some kind of meat
Afternoon snack: apple with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, or a pear with a few slices of cheese
Dinner: Thai chicken curry with basmati rice on the side, or maybe a couple burritos with beef, beans and other toppings (reduced carb tortillas are my new favorite thing!)

So as you can see, I still eat good food, and plenty of it - there are even a ton of delicious dessert recipes out there (helloooo cheesecake), so you can still satisfy that sweet tooth! I actually feel a bit odd even calling this a "diet" since it's really just the way we should all eat normally anyway.

All of this said, I will be honest: the last two weeks have been frustrating. Not because of the food, but because of how my body has been reacting to it. My doctor wanted to try controlling the GD with diet alone initially, so that's what we did. And it wasn't working for me. I was very, very careful with my meals - everything was weighed or measured to make sure that I was getting the correct portion sizes - and my blood sugar levels were still all over the chart. In fact, I could eat something one day, get a great blood sugar reading, then eat the exact same thing the next day and get a ridiculously high number. No matter what I did, I just couldn't get it to stabilize - and for someone as habitually in control as I am, this is immensely frustrating!

So yesterday I saw the doctor who is overseeing my GD, and as of today I'm on insulin. It may sound strange, but I was actually pretty eager to start the drugs - I want to get this under control, and I want to do that as fast as possible, so once it became clear that food alone wasn't going to work, I was impatient to move on to the next step.

Because both my fasting and post-meal blood sugar was high, I've been prescribed two different types of insulin. The first is a rapid release dose which I take three times a day, 10 minutes before each main meal - this helps my body absorb and cope with the sugar from the food I'm about to eat. The second is a once-a-day dose that I have at bedtime - it operates in the background for 24 hours to keep my fasting sugar levels stable so I'm not on a sugary roller coaster.

I don't have a needle phobia, but I was still a little nervous about having to inject insulin into my abdomen four times a day. But it really isn't that bad - in fact, it's actually less painful than the finger pricks you have to do to check your blood sugar. You use an epipen (or, in my case, two different epipens for the different insulins), and the needles are quite small and thin, so aside from an initial light pricking sensation, you don't really feel anything.

So there you have it! I hope it gives everyone a better understanding of what living with GD is like, and I want anyone out there who has just been diagnosed to see that it's really not that bad - you don't have to survive on bland food while being stabbed with 5" needles. And best of all, it's not forever, but just until you give birth!

GD + a doctor roundup

I definitely have gestational diabetes. The good news is that on the level of severity, mine apparently isn't too bad, or at least that's what my OBGYN said on the phone. He doesn't think I need to start on insulin right away, and that I may have a shot at controlling my blood sugar with diet alone. I'm not averse to taking insulin if necessary (I'm not averse to anything that will keep these babies healthy and from arriving prematurely!), nor do I have a problem with needles, but it's nice all the same to know I may not have to jab myself every day.

This means I'll need to start meeting with a physician in addition to my OBGYN - the one my doctor would like me to see is currently out of town, so I won't meet him for another week or so. Until then, my OB has simply instructed me to follow a general low-GI diet to keep my refined carbohydrates consumption down.

And this also means I'll be up to three doctors instead of two. *le sigh*

I don't think I've discussed my doctor situation, have I? This is what it looks like right now:

1. Dr S - this is my OBGYN. I was seeing him monthly, and now the visits have gone up to every two weeks since I'm in the third trimester. Note: this is a different doctor to the one I was seeing when we were still trying to conceive. She wasn't comfortable treating someone who was having multiples, and honestly after our many differences of opinion I wasn't sorry to switch to someone else at around the 12 week mark - Dr S is one of the most experienced doctors in town and I love him, so I'm so happy that I made the change!
2. Dr H - this is the high risk specialist at the local hospital. It's standard in my little town to see Dr H if there is anything at all different about your pregnancy such as preeclampsia, threatened premature delivery, etc. As a multiple pregnancy is always classed as high risk, I check in with him on a monthly basis, with dates alternating with my OB (i.e., I'd visit Dr S, then Dr H two weeks later, then Dr S two weeks after that, etc.) - I suspect this will be stepped up to every two weeks at our next appointment so I'll then see either him or Dr S every week.
3. Dr D - this is the physician I'll need to meet with to monitor my gestational diabetes. I don't know if it's common to see someone other than your OB about this in the States, but it seems to be standard here in Australia. He'll help me with my diet and prescribe insulin should it be needed in the future.
4. Dr P - I don't really count him as one of my doctors, as I haven't actually met him yet - the first, and probably only, appointment with him will be at the end of this month. Dr P specializes in very high risk cases, and practices in Sydney; he only visits my town once every 1-2 months. I'm meeting with him at the request of Dr H, not because I actually need Dr P's assistance but just in case I should at some stage - it's standard practice for Dr H's patients. 

So there you have it - the Bibliosaur and Bebbehs Dream Team!

Mixed Bag of Complaints...

It is starting to feel as though the countdown is amping up... I didn't think it would happen this soon, but I feel as though I can't get enough done and the list is ever growing!

My husband and I met with our Doula who is providing her services for free because she is a friend of his family and also because she needs to attend a number of births for her training. I love the idea of free, but I'm having a little bit of trouble feeling comfortable with the idea of someone I don't know very well having so much participation in this experience. I wanted to limit the number of people in the room during the whole thing period, and it seems a bit strange to start inviting people in even when they are there specifically to help me...

In my defense, I didn't know what accepting her offer to be a Doula meant at the time I said yes, and now I kind of feel like it's too late to back out. Especially if it could end up being a good thing.... I think it will definitely help my husband to have someone he knows making sure that we are both doing ok, but I feel weird! I just wanted as quiet an experience with my lady bits as less-on-display as possible... but everyone always says it never goes the way you envision it anyway... The thing is that she lives fairly far away and who knows fate may intervene and maybe she won't make it on time anyway who knows.

In other news, I feel so relieved to say that my test was negative for gestational diabetes, and although I am so happy for myself I am feeling Bibliosaur's pain as she goes through it all! I feel like it was more likely for me to have tested positive though as I feel like I just can not control the amount of weight I'm gaining... I'm scared to death to step on the scale again next month! Ah well, there is only so much you can worry about...

We are talking to our landlords tonight about our living situation and we hope to be able to get out of our lease two months early in order to move for March 1 into our new house! Although, it won't be very much fun for at least a month or so as we will be extensively renovating.... I am looking forward to the move though as I love the clean and purge that comes with packing. Also, it will be pretty neat to set all the baby's things up where they should go in the new nursery etc. There is a sold sign on the house, so although the closing date isn't until Feb 18th I believe it's a done deal. Yay! It feels as though we are rapidly becoming adults!

News just in... I just had the awkward "I can be there" when the time comes conversation with my MIL just now... I'm pretty sure my temperature went up. I love her to absolute bits and pieces, and she has a medical background that is going to be amazing, but I just can't fathom the thought of how many people are going to be milling around in a time that I would honestly pretty much prefer to be alone.... If that were a safe option obviously.... How do you respond to that offer? I mean I pretty much just said I'd rather have as few people as possible and we'll see when the time comes... but, oh jeeze... at least it wasn't in person! I really didn't want to offend her... I guess we will really see what happens closer to the date anyway....

Anyway, we are starting to feel the baby from the outside, and it makes the experience so much more real for me! It's turning into more of a thudding feeling rather than the muscle spasm or twitchy feeling. Sometimes my whole belly moves and it makes the room feel like it has moved! I'm excited to start being able to see little body parts moving in there :)

I experienced my first influx of hormones last night.... I was perfectly fine, tired, but fine, and watching a movie with my husband when it turned into crying and being intensely annoyed that the phone would not stop ringing. Not only would it NOT stop, but there was not a single call for me! He was busy planning his weekend meanwhile I feel like I've dropped off the face of the earth with my friends. I haven't seen most of them in ages... I acknowledge that my friendships are going to change, but I didn't think it would be this obvious... Anyway, I went to sleep annoyed and angry, but when I woke up this morning I was ok again thank goodness. I have been trying really hard to avoid making my husband uncomfortable and he's been so great to me (most of the time) that I don't want to be mean, but sometimes it's just so hard to pretend that I'm not upset about other stuff. Nothing about his life has changed and my entire life HAS. He still gets to do whatever he wants on Saturday nights and I guess I'm starting to feel like we have a limited time together to do fun things before baby and it would be nice if he could stay home on the weekend once in a while.... But, alas, I know what the next three weekends entail, and I'm pretty sure there is no hope for that at all....

Also, I'm planning his birthday party, and I asked his friends to pick a place he would like to go after dinner, and the only thing they could come up with..... was the strippers! Normally, I honestly wouldn't even care, but I'm fairly vulnerable feeling right now about my own size and the thought of him ogling perfect little young things is almost too much for me to bear. I don't even think I should feel bad about that... to me it makes sense that I feel that way, but good grief try explaining that to a bunch of twenty something boys. Gah!

Well, I hope to write again soon, and I hope everyone's week goes well!

Carbo-load

As I mentioned in my last post, now that I've failed my gestational diabetes screening, I have to go back for an Oral Glucose Tolerance Test. Some tests are three or four hours long, requiring your blood to be drawn for testing once per hour - the one I'm going in for is only two hours long, takes place first thing in the morning, and my blood will only be taken twice: once before the test and once at the end.

I have to spend three days preparing my body by eating a prescribed high carb diet and then fasting from 9pm the night before the test. From what I understand, chowing down on carbs for a few days kind of "primes" the body for the test and reduces the number of false positives, which can occur if you normally have a very low carb diet (which I don't, although I also don't eat this much every day).

 This is the minimum amount of carbs that I have to eat every day for the next three days:
- my usual amounts of milk, meat, fish, eggs, cheese and butter/margarine PLUS
- three slices of bread or toast AND
- one serving of breakfast cereal, oatmeal or spaghetti AND
- one potato or a serving of rice AND
- three servings of vegetables AND
- three servings of fruit (fresh, cooked, canned or juice) AND
- a snack of either two cookies or one scone or an extra slice of bread (I have to have two of these snacks per day)

To give you an idea of what this looks like, today I had:
Breakfast - oatmeal plus one slice of bread
Morning snack - an apple plus two shortbread cookies
Lunch - a tuna sandwich (don't worry, it was light tuna, not albacore) and grapes
Afternoon snack - another apple and two more shortbread cookies
Dinner - chicken stir fry with three servings of vegetables and rice (it may have been better to spread the veggies throughout the day like the fruit, but this was easier)

A few people have asked me if there's a chance if I could pass this next test. Of course the answer is yes, but honestly, I'd be stunned if I passed. Normally that only happens if your first result is borderline; using Australia's system, where a score of 3.5-7.8 is normal, borderline might be around 8.5 - but mine was 10.5. So I think it's pretty likely that it will come back with a bad result again, unfortunately. Don't get me wrong, I'd be thrilled if the first test was a fluke and this one comes back just fine...but I think it's pretty unlikely.

I won't be able to tell you until next week whether this will be managed with diet alone, or if I'll need insulin as well. The good news is that a low-GI diet is a very healthy way to eat anyway and not overly restrictive - for example, you don't have to cut all carbohydrates, just choose complex ones over simple, refined carbs - so it won't be too horrible. 

A couple of you commented on what a good attitude I have about this. I'll be honest - I'm bummed. I truly am. This pregnancy has come with enough physical difficulties that I was really hoping to make it through without anything like this happening. However, I think just knowing from the day we found out we were having twins that this had a higher likelihood of occurring has made me much more accepting than I might have been otherwise.

I know there's not anything I can do, or anything I could have done to prevent this - it's just one of those things that happens sometimes in a regular pregnancy and a lot more frequently with twins. As this pregnancy progresses, my body is under an enormous amount of physical stress, so having whacked out insulin levels is really one of the more minor things that can happen and I'm glad that this is something that is very manageable, especially compared to having pre-eclampsia or hypertension or something else that would mean bedrest.

Plus if these babies are born at around 36 weeks (the average for twins), that means I only have about another 10 weeks to go, so it's really not too bad. I bet a lot of you have had regular diets that have lasted that long!

GD and me

As you all know, I had my gestational diabetes screening on Saturday. I knew my doctor would get the results today - I'd accidentally forgotten my cell phone at home, so all day I was hoping that I'd get home and there wouldn't be a message from him since they pretty much only call if it's bad news. But nope, there it was: "Hi Bibliosaur, it's Dr S., please give me a call about your GD test..."

Crap. 

So I gave him a call. And the result was not good. Not by a long shot.

I still have to take the longer Oral Glucose Tolerance Test (OGTT) to confirm, so it's not 100% definite yet, but my number was high enough that I'm pretty sure it's a done deal. I scored a 10.5 on the Australian/Canadian scale...I don't know how this number corresponds to the way it's measured in the USA, but a normal score is under 7.8, so it's not like I got a borderline result.

This isn't really surprising, or the end of the world - I knew it was a definite possibility with twins (I'm 2-3 times more likely than someone carrying a singleton to end up with GD), so I'm not shattered or shocked, just bummed...especially because I chose today of all days to give bacon brownies a try, and now they're baking in the oven, just mocking me with all their sugar!

Sugar me up!

This morning I had the dreaded 1-hour gestational diabetes screening. I've read so many stories about how awful it is that I was really not looking forward to it...but I have to say, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was anticipating!

Until now, the only thing I'd read about it was from American sources, and I was really dreading the sickly sweet orange-flavored drink; although I loooooove fresh oranges, I hate orange flavored things, especially drinks (I'd rather go thirsty than drink Sunkist). So I was pleasantly surprised when the phlebotomist handed me a cup and a little bottle of clear liquid - it tasted a lot like Sprite, only a little weaker. No orange-flavored nastiness here!

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I felt fine for the entire test, which, as far as I know means nothing. I've read reports of women feeling fine and passing the screening, feeling fine and failing it, and people who feel dizzy and awful both seem to pass and fail in equal numbers as well. I was a little tired and headachy at the end, but I don't know if I should attribute that to the test or to the fact that I didn't sleep well last night. We shall see.

I'm a little nervous about the results - one of the less pleasant side effects of carrying twins is that you're more susceptible to everything: things like hypertension, pre-eclampsia, and of course, gestational diabetes - a woman carrying multiples is two to three times more likely to have GD than one carrying a singleton, so there's absolutely a chance that my test will come back with bad results.

I'm not sure when I'll find out - I don't see my OBGYN until February 1, but I'm presuming that if the results are poor, I'll hear from him long before then. Wish me luck!

Huge Fundal Height Measurement

Hi Everyone,

I had my midwife appointment yesterday. Wow. It seemed like a lot of information to take in this time.

The major points include:

• My fundal height is measuring 29.5cm when it should be 27cm...
• My blood pressure is high (it usually is a tad high, but higher than normal this time)
• My twenty pound weight gain in two months could be contributed to Gestational Diabetes

It actually makes it seem less overwhelming to see it all laid out in three lines of type. That helps. I think I was most alarmed by the fundal measurement as my husband's family makes HUGE babies. To put it in perspective I am just under 5'2" and don't think a large baby will be able to come out of me very easily. Not only that, but his family insists on bringing it up every. single. time. we talk about the baby. I truly thought that I would be able to convince it to be on the small (but still healthy, of course) side through sheer will.
My blood pressure is typically a bit elevated most of the time, and usually we do two or three reads to try to get the most accurate one. I think it's a bit of the white coat syndrome even though my lovely midwives dont' wear white coats ;) This time even the last read was still a bit high, and I'm just hoping it goes down. I was relieved to hear that they would be with me no matter what (well, except for a premature birth) even if I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, or gestational diabetes.
I am going to take the Glucose test tomorrow morning because I don't think I can wait too much longer without knowing and you are supposed to do it before the 28th week anyway. I also have to do a food diary for three days to see if there are any areas that they can help me in terms of nutrition. I gave a quick description of what I have been eating like and they both seemed to think that it sounded ok, but I do need to get some exercise in. I explained that my hips and pelvis are still really bothering me since the accident and they recommended swimming... However, as nice and lovely as all the weightlessness sounds.... the fear of the dreaded bathing suit may take some getting used to. I literally haven't worn a bathing suit since I was about sixteen or seventeen, and I admit to some body image issues. I am going to try to find a prenatal yoga class that will work for me because I do see the benefit in attempting to work out the kinks in my painful parts that will help me in all aspects of my life and this pregnancy.
So, I guess I will post again after my GD test, and hope that it's negative.... more because of the huge baby thing than the maintenance through diet and exercise... that I can deal with I just don't want to give myself more chances to have to have a c-section etc.
The house deal is basically gone through though (YAY!), but unfortunately our mortgage payment is slightly higher than we hoped for so now we have a new set of budgeting to do. Also, we hadn't factored in life and house insurance along with the property taxes etc. It's looking like it will be close to six hundred dollars more a month more than we are paying now. And although it is very much worth it it's still alot to take in especially when my income is going to be cut in half in a matter of months, so we really don't even have a lot of time to save!
It's interesting in Canada that because we legally have almost a year of maternity (at a restricted pay level) that there is basically no child care available for very small children. For those people who may have to go back to work due to financial reasons or because they want to they have very limited options of how to ensure their child is taken care of other than by a family member. I have asked my bosses to allow me to work part time possibly from home after the first few months of getting acquainted with baby, and they said to play it by ear but that it would probably work out great. So I'm hoping to maintain my maternity leave pay from the government, but supplement it with some part time work to make ends meet.
Anyway, have to go now, but have a great week everyone and hope everyone is healthy and happy!

Induction Rescheduled

I've just returned from my appointment with the OB/GYN...she's agreed to reschedule our induction to next Monday. So January 25th it will be...5 a.m. Unless Libby decides between now and then to debut on her own (I am so praying for that)! I am so glad I asked if there was any risk in waiting. If I hadn't I am sure I'd still be on schedule to induce this Wednesday even though my cervix is only 2 cm.

Since my blood sugars are good she's comfortable with delaying the induction. And, Libby measured 7 lbs. 2 oz. today whereas last week we were told 7 lbs. 8 oz. so obviously this is not an exact science (sort of frustrating, really) and I would just love to give her as much time as possible, in case the measurements are really off. No need to bring a preemie into this world for less than pressing reasons.

With delaying 5 days (from this Wednesday to next Monday) I will not need cervical softening (Cervidil or Cytotec), so we'll just start with a low dose of Pitocin and then she'll break my water. Again, more interventions than I had hoped for, but certainly less to start with than if we tried to do it this week. She has also turned sunny-side up (again) so I have week to get her turn over. I see lots of pelvic rocking and hanging my belly in my future.

That said, I've already started my maternity leave (as of today) and considered going back into work this week, but honestly I am beat! I am not sleeping well and I am just going to take this week to prepare for labor and delivery and bringing home our baby girl.

Thirty-Seven Weeks

I am actually 38 weeks pregnant today, but I hadn't done my 37 week post yet. And in 4 days (or less) I won't be pregnant anymore. I cannot believe it. This last 4-5 weeks have just flown by! And oddly enough, she may just decide to come on her own. On Friday I lost my mucus plug and had my bloody show. I have been feeling more and more pressure down low and have had 3-4 contractions and hour for 1-2 hours. So maybe I will be able to avoid my induction after all? Only time will tell for sure.

This past week I have wrapped up things at my office in anticipation of my maternity leave beginning. It's weird to think I'll be off for 10 weeks! The last time I had that length of time off was the summer break of my freshman year in high school! So...that'll be strange. Of course, I'll be busy figuring out all the things that new mothers need to figure out. I have been feeling overwhelmed by some of that! I mean, I know I am prepared. But at the same time I have that feeling I used to get right before final exams in college...knowing I had studied and was prepared and yet, I still had a nagging thought in my head, "I hope I am ready."

The good news is, mothering is a process...and I know I will just have to learn along the way. I have recently read "The No Cry Sleep-Solution" and "The Baby Whisperer" and have realized that I just need to pick and chose what works for me, my husband and most of all, our daughter. There is no one way to do this!

I am also a multi-tasker so I have been really talking to myself about being okay with "just" being there for my baby. Breast-feeding and not doing anything else (reading, talking on the phone, watching TV, etc.). Napping often. I want to take these first weeks to just get to know my baby and for her to get to know me. I'll never have this time again. So I plan to embrace it. And cry if I need to...and ask my DH and mom for help. And let my DH figure things out for himself too. I've already promised him that he will not hear "you're not doing it right" out of my mouth. I want him to feel empowered as a dad to learn about his daughter the same way I need to learn about her. Thankfully, he's taking two weeks off of work to be home. He'll have school a few hours a week, but otherwise, we'll all be home together. And our furbabies will need to adjust too and I want to be sure give them the attention they'll be needing as well. So these next few days are about getting ready to bring the baby home.

According to BabyCenter, here's what's happening this week:

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Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.

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Delivery Date Scheduled

Wow. It's here. We know when we're going to have our baby girl. I just got back from my weekly appt. and the baby is measuring 7 lbs. 8 oz. (up from 6 lbs. 3 oz. last week). Having gestational diabetes that requires insulin to control it has prompted my doctor to go ahead and schedule us for an induction for next Wednesday, 01.20.10.

I am feeling very overwhelmed...just returned from my OB appt. and have scheduled an induction for next Wednesday 01.20.10. Baby is measuring 7 lbs. 8 oz. today (up from 6 lbs. 3 oz. last week) and is doing well, but my doc doesn't want me to go past 39 weeks because she's afraid the baby will get too big and that with my insulin-dependent gestational diabetes that my placenta is aging faster than someone who doesn't have GD and use insulin.

My next appt. is on Monday morning to assess the situation...today I was still just 1finger dialated (well she said 1.5 fingers now...and it hurt like heck...I pray that the baby coming out hurts less than the doctor's hand being shoved in!) and my cervix was thick. No wonder, I am only 37 weeks, 4 days and with only 5% of first babies come by their EDD, it's very early for me still. At that point we'll discuss the induction process. We'll check my cervix again (and see if there's been any progress). I am hoping I am a candidate for Cervidil, rather than Cytotec, but right now my doc is leaning towards Cytotec. I'd prefer neither, but I really feel that cervadil is the lesser of two evils. So on Monday, I'll be making my wishes known about that. I am also worried because my Bishop's Score right now is not favorable for an induction, which can mean that in all likelihood it will progress to a c-section. I am trying to stay positive and keep my eye on the prize...finally holding Libby in my arms.

That said, I am having very mixed emotions. I am thrilled to know that we'll be meeting our daughter very, very soon. But I am very upset that my natural birth plan is completely unraveling. I know when I got the GD dx that this could be a consideration but now that it's here I am feeling very sad that my body will not be allowed to go into labor and birth my baby on it's own. I am also very afraid of what could potentially go wrong, especially with all of the medical interventions that are being planned.

As I have posted, DH and I attended Bradley Birth Classes and have hired our instructor to be our doula (she's certified and also an RN). All of this has been in preparation to go totally unmedicated with little or no interventions. Being diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 28 weeks and then starting insulin at 30 weeks have been a total game changer. Now, my focus is trying to avoid a c-section and I am trying to mentally prepare for an induction and most likely, the need for an epidural and of course, the possibility that all of it can end up in a c-section.

So on Monday I'll have more details...will we use Cytotec or Cervidil to ripen my cervix? Will I need to go in on Tuesday night or can I just go in on Wednesday? What I do know is this...my labor and delivery will involve the use of Pitocin, which I really, really, really didn't not want to have to do. So now, I am mentally preparing for all of this and also changing my goal from going naturally to now, just trying to deliver vaginally so that I don't end up with a c-section. Again, I know c-sections happen everyday and that they aren't the end of the world, but I really don't want one at all. I also want to be sure that even if my delivery doesn't go as I wished that post-partum does. This means breastfeeding right away and having baby in my room at all times. If she has blood sugar issues I want them to test her for them in our room. And if she needs glucose supplementation I don't want them administering it with a bottle.

At the end of the day, I am mainly focusing on the fact that by this time next week I will be a mommy and finally be holding my precious baby girl in my arms. The rest? I guess I am just going to have to suck it up and deal. I pray that everything goes as well as it possibly can go and that there are no complications for me or for her. Positive vibes are welcomed!

Moving right along

...in the pregnancy, that is.

Approaching 30 weeks now, and I've been using my time to make a baby to-do list, and then start to get things checked off of it.

Like...choosing a daycare! Unfortunately, there's just no way around it - Mr. Citysaur and I will have to send our son to daycare full time, from the time he's about 8 weeks old. Such is the nature of our lives, where we can't afford to live off only one salary, and I'm only able to cobble together 8 weeks of maternity leave.

Yes, as a counterpoint to Bibliosaur's post about maternity leave, I am on the other end of the spectrum. My company, a mid-size nonprofit in the US, has virtually no maternity leave to speak of. I guess I'm lucky that we're at least large enough that I'm covered by the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), but all that really does is protect my job for up to 12 weeks of maternity leave - without pay. I'm required by my employer to use all available sick and vacation leave, then I get one week of paid leave per year of service on top of that, per my company's short term disability policy. Since I haven't yet hit my 2-year anniversary with the company, and won't until July, that means 1 week. I have purchased an additional short term disability policy, and I'll get a tad more than two weeks worth of pay from that. With all of this, I'll have about 7 weeks of paid time, and I'm saving up money now so that I can afford that eighth week.

Anyway, back to daycare...

We toured a facility just a few blocks from our apartment, the only one in our downtown area that's not church-affiliated, back in November. We both loved it but it was just a tad on the expensive side. It took a while, but we figured out the finances, and at the end of the year, we put down our deposit! I'm excited to have a place I feel comfortable with to send my son to when the time comes.

What else have we done? Well, we chose a pediatrician!

This decision was actually even easier. After reading in several different places about how we should interview pediatricians, and ask all these questions, and see if our philosophies matched up, I was getting really stressed out about the decision. We already had a frontrunner - the consulting physician for our birth center. A co-worker also chose her for their son. I got myself so worked up over the decision that I called my mom a bit frantic the other day, wondering what I should do. She calmed me down and told me not to worry about all that consultation stuff. She said that it sounded like my decision was already made anyway, and that we should just go with the doctor we had the recommendations for, and if we really didn't like her after a visit or two, we could worry about finding someone else then. It made sense, and took all the stress out of the decision. So, we have a pediatrician!

In other pregnancy news, my weight seems to be holding steady, and my second one-hour glucose test came back in the clear, so that was good news! I'm continuing on my diet plan and exercising - doing all I can to hopefully steer clear of preeclampsia, which runs in my family. I have another check-up on Wednesday - every two weeks now!

Thirty-Six Weeks

Well, sort of...let me explain.

Way back in week seven, after my first u/s at the doctor's I was told that my EDD was 02.02.10. I had been charting and knew my exact ovulation date and conception date and calculated the EDD to be 01.30.10, but since the doc said 02.02.10 I went with it.

Well, last week at my NST the nurse said, oh you're getting close...January 30th will be here soon. I just smiled and nodded and thought, "Hmmm. Why does my chart say 01.30.10?" So this week at the OB's I asked. Turns out that even though that first u/s said 02.02.10 she decided it was close enough to my original calculation of 01.30.10 based upon my TTC chart that she kept it. News to me! And to Mr. Divasaur! Granted it only moves our EDD up three days but somehow, at least psychologically speaking, it has made a big impact because it now means that we're having our baby THIS month! Mr. Divasaur's eyes got big like saucers and after we left the OB appt. he was giddy with excitement. It had hit him!

And we are ready. The car seat has been installed. My coworkers threw me a shower today and this weekend I'll do a final load of baby laundry (with lots of cuteness acquired from today's party). We met with our doula tonight to go over our birth plan. And I had another NST which Libby passed with flying colors. My GD is under control (although I've had to increase my dosage of insulin to stay on top of my numbers...but that is to be expected the closer an insulin-dependent GD mama gets to her due date). Next week I get another internal exam to check for any progress (I declined the internal this week). And I am sure I'll continue to feel crampy and contractions as the days and weeks come to pass. I am feeling BIG. And uncomfortable and ready to have my daughter in my arms. I have a big meeting at work at the end of next week and then, mentally, I will be done with work. I may start working from home in week 38 and 39...we shall see. Sitting at my desk all day has become uncomfortable and causes my ankles to swell, even though I have my feet propped up on a step stool.

My coworkers threw me a baby shower, which was really sweet since I had't expected to have one. My assistant decorated my office and set up a card table with a cake and favors. People dropped by during the lunch hour and I opened their gifts and then had them displayed for the others to come by and oogle (a tradition in our office, I guess. It's very Southern!) I was sad that I wasn't going to get to have a shower, with all of my closest friends and family living 1500 miles away, but the ladies I work with went above and beyond to make it happen. It was so nice of them and they were quite generous...Libby got a bunch of cute clothes, some great books, coxy blankets and some fun toys.

So I am in the final stretch. Libby measured 6 lbs. 3 oz. this week. According to BabyCenter, here's what's up in there:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

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Thirty-Five Weeks

and thirty-five days to go! Wow. And of course, I am thirty-five years old.

I am feeling ready to have this baby. I swear I have gotten bigger in just one week! I have my first internal exam today with the OB/GYN (honestly I'd like to decline it as I really don't see the point. Most midwives don't do internal exams until 40 weeks or more). I will also have my Group B Strep test. It's just my luck that I'll have it. I'll know soon enough.

Update: Just got back from the OB...baby is measuring exactly 6 lbs and has flipped over to a head down anterior position. YAY! I hope she stays that way until it's time for her debut. Oh, and I am 1 centimeter dialted. I'll tell you the internal exam is not fun...it hurt. My OB said, "now's the time to try out your Bradley Method breathing." Nice. I sure hope that giving birth doesn't hurt in the same way that the internal did. She said "some pressure" and I felt "immense pinching." I mean, I know giving birth will hurt, but it seems that letting something out is far less traumatic than having something shoved in....yikes!

I have been sleeping better this last week, thank goodness. I am not sure why that is, but I am so grateful. I was having horrible hip pains (especially from sleeping on my side) and have done a little research on how to stretch so that the pain can be minimized. So a few times a day and especially before bed, I stretch my hips, hamstrings and groin muscles. It has helped a lot.

I met with my endocrinologist last week for my four week follow-up appointment since being put on insulin. She said I am doing very well and that typically, in the last month of pregnancy, the insulin dosage will need to be increased as the placenta continues to pump out hormones that override the pancreas. So I am increasing my evening dosage of insulin by two units to see if that will help my fasting numbers (which have always been the issue from the start). Also, if my after dinner numbers continue to rise (I had a few high ones last week, but I chalk it up to the holidays) then we might need to add a fast acting insulin injection before that meal. I hope to avoid that though but eating really cleanly now that Christmas has passed. I did really well, in all honesty, but I did sample some sweets at work that I probably should have just avoided all together.

Speaking of Christmas, we had a freak blizzard here (second one in history) and were literally snowed in on Christmas Eve. We had to cancel our Christmas Day plans with my in-laws. So it was just me and my hubby and our furbabies camped out at home. We watched Julie and Julia and The Hangover. My husband also finally finished assembling the crib and we got the nursery into some semblance of order.

Remember my inspiration board?

Here are some photos of our progress:

View of the nursery from the doorway.

Simply Shabby Chic (from Target) Pillow and Banners...to decorate the crib.
When the baby sleeps in there we'll take the pillow out though.

I still need to add more accessories to this shelf. The dress in the middle and two to the right of it were mine when I was a baby. The other two were awesome consignment sale finds!

This lamp was in my room when I was a toddler. I made a new lampshade for it to coordinate with the colors in the nursery. The lamp was a vintage shop find by my mom when I was just 2 years old, so it's got to be at least 45-50 years old by now.

These are shelves from IKEA that we've had for at least 10 years! The baskets had red and yellow striped liners so I made new ones to match the lamp shade. The Care Bears are new except for the dark blue one which was mine when I was a child...vintage! You can tell he's different because he has real hair and the others don't.

Swivel/Rocker/Recliner we scored for $50 on Craigslist. The day bed is 25 years old and real enameled iron with brass finials, also found on Craigslist. We still need to get a proper quilt for it (I like this one from Target's Simply Shabby Chic line) and add the pop up trundle and a dust ruffle.

Bigger view of the room. Not pictured...Mr. Divasaur's "study" corner which is to the right of the daybed.

Diaper stash and supplies and a second-hand Lionsheart Wipes Warmer I got for $6.

Our multi-functional crib with lots of storage.
Still awaiting the arrival of the properly sized changing pad for the top of the drawers.
Best of all it will convert to a single youth bed with a nightstand when the baby is ready to transition out of the crib.

I still need to add the wall decals (tree, birds and woodland animals) as well as hang the bird mobile.
So it's still a work in progress...


Wall letters that I made with supplies from the local craft store.
I decoupaged scrapbook paper onto the balsa wood letters and then attached them to twine
with mini clothes-line clips (hot glued in the back for extra security).
I still plan to add some bird decals to the clothesline.

Mr. Divasaur proud of the hard work he did putting our crib together by hand.

I hope to have all of the final touches done soon and that way we're totally set for Libby's arrival. Speaking of which, I have this weird feeling she's coming early. I cannot really say why though. The date of January 19th keeps popping up in my dreams, etc. We shall see. I know she's getting bigger, I can feel it.

According to BabyCenter, here's what's going on in there this week:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Hello Third Trimester!

Tomorrow marks 28 weeks of pregnancy...7 months...and a solid entry into the ranks of the Third Trimester!

I had a check-up last Wednesday, and it went really well! At the appointment, I weighed in at 2 lbs less than my previous appointment - hooray! The midwife was really pleased with how well I've adopted the new diet, especially in light of it being the holidays!

Everything else was ship-shape - baby's measuring right where he should be, blood pressure is good, and at least for now, he's sitting solidly head-down. Let's just hope he stays that way when delivery time comes!

Before I left, I got my second helping of that lovely electric-orange drink for the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT), aka the 1-hour test for gestational diabetes. Since we were on our way out of town, the drink went into our fridge for a few days. Yesterday morning, like a good girl, I downed the sickly-sweet tonic, waited an hour, and had my blood drawn. They're supposed to have the results back today, so I'm patiently waiting for the phone to ring.

I took the test once already, around 20 weeks. Since I'm overweight, the midwife wanted me to test early, just to be on the safe side. At that point, my results came back abnormally low...so I'm curious to see what these results bring.

Other than that, I'm just marching right along through this pregnancy. Back aches are pretty common these days (especially after a couple of 5-hour car rides over Christmas). Insomnia seems to be my new best friend (or worst enemy), and 4 AM is when it hits. Several times over the last couple of weeks, I've woken up at 4 AM and been completely unable to go back to sleep. Guess I'm just getting a taste of what's to come! But overall, things have been pretty good, and I'm so very thankful for that!