My twins have arrived!

I'm SO sorry it's taken me so long to post this! The twins are now exactly four weeks old, and it's been a crazy time - things are only now settling down enough for me to take the time to write their birth story.

At 2pm on April 20, I turned up at the hospital for my induction - by 4pm I had an internal exam confirming I wasn't dilated or effaced at all, and given my first Cervidil treatment. I was startled at how quickly it took effect; I was having contractions within 10 minutes, and after half an hour, they were only 2 minutes apart. The next 6 hours passed in a blur of pain - the only relief I found was in standing or sitting in a warm shower...I spent HOURS in that water!

By 10pm the contractions were strong enough and close enough together that the nurse and I were hopeful that I wouldn't need a second dose of Cervidil, but no such luck - another internal exam showed I was only barely dilated (possibly around 1cm) and still not at all effaced. I nearly started crying - the last 6 hours had been so painful that the idea of dealing with those contractions for another 6 hours was agonizing.

I was given the second dose of Cervidil and also offered a pethidine injection, which I gratefully accepted; I was exhausted from the rapid contractions and worried that when the time came for me to actually push I'd be too tired - the injection allowed me to relax and catnap for a little while. After half an hour or so, I got up for yet another shower, and when I stepped inside I felt warm fluid gushing down my leg - my water had broken. I nearly cried with relief, thankful for the confirmation that labor was progressing.

Five hours of painful contractions later, I was exhausted and begging for more pain relief, and another internal exam showed that I was finally 5cm dilated and ready to move to the delivery room! At that point, I'd been having agonizing contractions that were only 1-2 minutes apart for 11 hours and I was exhausted, so when I was offered an epidural, I didn't hesitate to say yes. The actual process of getting the epidural was a bit difficult - the anesthesiologist didn't get the placement correct the first time and had to re-do it - meanwhile, I was in severe pain and trying desperately to keep still during the contractions. The end result though? BLISS. I wasn't numb from the waist down like I expected - in fact, I could still feel everything and even move on my own - but it took the pain away and let me rest for a while.

(Side story: when you get an epidural, you're warned of the possible - though fairly unlikely - side effect of an epidural headache. Pay attention to this! That first failed epidural ended up giving me one, and it was one of the most stunningly painful experiences of my life. I honestly can’t describe just how bad it is…it’s like a incredibly severe migraine, but in addition to photosensitivity, etc., there's positional sensitivity as well – I could just barely tolerate life if I stayed flat on the bed, but the instant I tried to tilt my head upwards it was like getting smacked in the brain with an axe. I was completely incapacitated for two days before the problem was fixed with an epidural blood patch, and ended up being in the hospital for a total of seven days from the start of my induction to my final discharge.)

Eight long hours and several internal exams later, I started feeling tremendous pressure in addition to the pain from the contractions (the epidural was more or less completely worn off by this point). My doctor had told me to let her know if I experienced a pressure that felt like I needed to poop, but this was different - it felt like I needed to pee. I told the nurse and she asked if I felt a need to push. "Not really," I replied, "Just like I really, REALLY have to pee." When the pressure didn't let up over the course of another 15 minutes or so, I finally asked them to do another internal exam. I was convinced the pressure meant things had progressed, even if it was in the "wrong" place - and sure enough, I was 10cm dilated, fully effaced, the first twin was making his way down the birth canal, and it was time to push!

And push I did, for an hour and a half. And nothing. Nada. The baby wasn't moving at all. At one stage I had two doctors and three nurses staring at my nether regions to make sure I was pushing efficiently and effectively, and I was - but that little boy was stubbornly refusing to negotiate the final curve of the birth canal. By this stage I was incredibly exhausted and in an immense amount of pain but since the twins were still doing fine, my doctors offered to give me another small dose of the epidural to give me a chance to rest and regroup for another try. 45 minutes later, the dose was starting to wear off, and we were ready for round two.

For the better part of an hour, I gave it my all. I'd been put on a Pitocin drip to try to help increase the strength of my contractions and push the babies out, but by the end of round two even that was failing - my body was so exhausted from 19 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing that my contractions were starting to slow and weaken, even with the drugs pushing them along. Clearly, something had to give.

My lead doctor came and stood by my head. "We can keep going if you want," she said. "Your babies are still doing OK - their heartbeats are fine and neither are in distress. However, you're pretty exhausted and I honestly don't think you will be able to push these babies out. If you want, we can try to help with vacuum extraction, but I don't think it will be very effective and it may cause them to go into distress. You've given this a very good try, but at this point I'd like to recommend a c-section."

I stared at her through a fog of pain and exhaustion. A c-section? I'd known from the beginning that there was a good chance I'd need one with twins, but I'd been so hopeful that I'd be able to have a vaginal birth. I turned and looked at Mr Bibliosaur. We didn't really need to discuss it - we'd already talked about this in the weeks leading up to this moment and agreed that we would do whatever was necessary to have a good outcome with two healthy babies...so if that was a c-section, then so be it. We looked at each other for a moment before I quietly nodded and he nodded back at me. I turned back to my doctor - "OK. We'll do the c-section."

Things were a hectic blur from that point. The doctor left immediately to make sure an operating room was ready, and the nurses rushed to get me prepared. A short time later, I was lying on an operating table getting a massive epidural dose and Mr Bibliosaur had been taken away to scrub up - I was nearly frantic with nerves by the time he returned. The actual surgery was faster than I imagined - it seemed like only a minute or two before my doctor was holding up the first crying twin and asking Mr Bibliosaur if we had a name picked out. "William," my husband beamed, "His name is William." "And this one?" the doctor asked, pulling out the second boy. "Dash. That's Dashiell."

I started crying with happiness when the nurses brought them over so I could see them. I could barely believe it - Will and Dash were finally here!

The stats:
William John
6lbs, 12oz
20 inches
Born April 21, 2010 at 3.40pm

Dashiell Thomas
6lbs, 8oz
19.5 inches
Born April 21, 2010 at 3.42pm

The boys on their birthday:

Will is on the left, Dash is on the right.

13 days old:

Dash is on the left, Will is on the right.

17 days old:

Dash is on the left, Will is on the right.

24 days old:

Yours truly and my boys: Will is on the left, Dash is on the right.

My journey through trying to conceive and pregnancy has been an amazing experience, and I've been honored and privileged to share it with you all. I can't thank you enough for your support, encouragement and advice - I don't know what I'd have done without this blog as a place to vent my worries and celebrate my good news. Mr Bibliosaur and I have had our share of ups and downs over the last month as we grow accustomed to our new role as parents, but I'm humbled and amazed that I am the mother of these two gorgeous and perfect little boys.

I'm intending to keep blogging over at Littlesaur, and I hope you'll follow me there - raising twin boys is going to be one hell of a ride!

T-minus 21 hours!

I'm going to try to keep this as short as I can...it's a bit long and complicated, sorry!

So after I saw my gestational diabetes doctor on Thursday, I went up to the local hospital to see the alternate high risk doctor. He said that if it was up to him, he'd induce me that night...but it wasn't. The problem was that my hospital couldn't handle my birth because it was too complicated (this is after my other doctor and all of the nurses telling me numerous times that it wouldn't pose a problem - I was NOT amused). My case had to be transferred to an alternate hospital, which is about a 45-minute drive away.

So we went up there Thursday night; I couldn't see their high risk specialist until the next day, so I got to spend a cozy night in THE most uncomfortable hospital bed ever (I mean seriously, insanely uncomfortable).

I saw the specialist the next day, and she felt that there was no need for an emergency induction because my blood pressure, while high, was still only just over the limit and my GD was well managed. So she scheduled me for an induction 5 days later but said she wanted to keep me in the hospital for observation until then. Joy.

The reason for the delayed scheduling is because although this hospital is larger than the one in my town, it's still not huge by any means, and she wanted to make sure that it would take place on a day when I would have all of the staff to myself vs sharing them with another induction (there were already inductions scheduled for the two days prior to mine). I guess that's the one disadvantage to staying relatively local vs going to Sydney (the nearest major city), where I'd almost certainly have been induced the same night I arrived.

I was pretty upset about all of this...not just having to stay in the hospital or having to wait to be induced, but also because I'm already so uncomfortable (the skin on my stomach is so tight that I can barely even stand the feeling of a sheet on it - even that hurts). But obviously, there wasn't much I could do about it.

After spending two nights in the hospital, the specialist told me that because my blood pressure wasn't getting any worse - it had actually dropped down to just below the limit and seemed to be staying there - she would release me so I could go home to wait until the induction, as I'd almost certainly be less stressed and more relaxed and comfortable. They gave me a laundry list of symptoms to look out for, and if I experience even a single one of them we have to head back to the hospital. I also have to get my blood pressure checked daily at my local hospital to make sure it doesn't spike.

So that's where we are now - the induction is starting at lunchtime tomorrow, only 21 hours away! I'll be 38.5 weeks by then, and no one - including yours truly - can believe that we've made it this far (and honestly we probably shouldn't have been allowed to get this far because of all my complications, but that's really neither here nor there at this point). But at least they won't be considered preemies, although they'll probably still be a bit smaller than a singleton - it also means it's unlikely that they'll have any health problems, which means we'll be able to transfer back to my local hospital a day or so after the birth (much better for Mr Bibliosaur since he won't have to drive back and forth all the time).

Please send happy thoughts and good vibes and labor dust and everything else that you can spare! There isn't any wireless internet access in the hospital that I'm aware of, so the next time you hear from me, the Bibliosaur babies will have made their debut!

OMG...I could be getting induced!

I just got home from seeing the doctor who is overseeing my gestational diabetes. While I was there, he asked me what the plan was, and that conversation got him all riled up and pissed off at the hospital...

Me: "The plan?"
Him: "Right. You know, for the birth. You're very nearly 38 weeks."
Me: "Oh. Well...there isn't one."
Him (after a long pause): "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well I saw Dr S [my OBGYN] yesterday, and he thinks I need to be induced, but it's not up to him - it's up to the doctors at the hospital. And Dr H [high risk doctor that I see at the hospital clinic] is still on vacation and will be for a while longer, so I'm seeing other doctors until then. It's a different doctor every week, depending on who is filling in for him."
Him: "So...who is making this decision?"
Me: "I don't know. Whoever is there at my appointment next week, I guess? Maybe?"
Him: "But you don't know who that will be."
Me: "No."
Him: "And they may or may not decide to induce you next week."
Me: "Right."
Him: "Do they know you have GD?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "And they know you're having twins, right?"
Me: "Yes, of course."
(another long pause)
Him: "RIGHT. Look, I don't usually get mixed up in the obstetrics side of things, but I'm going to call the hospital right now. This is ridiculous - you don't have anyone caring for your case!"

So he called the hospital, talked to the head nurse and gave her a rundown of the situation, then asked to be transferred to Dr N. I'd never been told about this doctor, but apparently he's another high risk specialist like Dr H. My GD doctor told Dr N: "She is 37.5 weeks pregnant with twins. She has gestational diabetes. Her blood pressure has shot up to 150/90. She has edema. She is clearly extremely uncomfortable and struggling. She needs someone to make a decision about her case - NOW."

So I'm seeing Dr N at 4.45pm today. My GD doctor told me to be prepared to be admitted, just in case they decide I need to go in tonight (!!!). Of course, Dr N may want to schedule it for tomorrow (!!!), or - you never know - he may even decide I can wait until next week (which is still a yaaay because at least a decision would have been made!).

I'm equal parts excited and terrified that this could be happening so soon...on the one hand, I am SO READY for these babies to be born, and on the other hand, I'm utterly petrified at the thought! It almost makes me want to go, "Wait! Maybe they can stay in there another 10 or 15 years. Let's all just sit down and talk - we can negotiate!" (Mr Bibliosaur, by the way, is beside himself at the idea that he could get to meet his sons so soon - he has been SO eager and impatient for these little ones to be born!)

So please send some good vibes or happy thoughts or whatever else you can spare that everything will go smoothly, no matter what Dr N decides. Honestly, it's just nice to have someone who will actually be able to make a decision about my case!

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

I think we're officially ready for these babies to make their debut! The nursery is done, I have a fresh manicure and pedicure, there are enough homemade meals in our freezer to feed us for nearly two weeks, Mr Bibliosaur and I went out to see a movie and have dinner last night, and my hospital bags are packed and stashed in the trunk of the car.

I found it really helpful to read what other ladies packed for their hospital stay, so I'll post a list of what's in my bags as well. Like my birth plan, this is a very pared-down list compared to the examples you might find online - after years of traveling, I'm all about packing light! And there was a lot of stuff that I either didn't think I'd use (like magazines/books - I can always chat to Mr Bibliosaur or ask him to get me a few magazines from the maternity waiting area if I get desperate) or simply wasn't interested in (like an iPod since I genuinely don't care about music during labor and delivery, or my own clothes for laboring in since I'm fine with a hospital gown).

Plus, if we can stay at our local hospital - more about that drama here, in case you missed it - it's only 10 minutes away from our house. So if at some point during early labor or in the days after delivery I realize I missed something critical, Mr Bibliosaur can easily run back home to grab it. If we have to go to a hospital further away and I realize I missed something that we can't buy, then oh well - I'll survive.

I've separated things into two bags - my bag, which will be the one Mr Bibliosaur will bring up when we first arrive at the hospital, and the babies' bag, which can stay in the car until after they're born:

MY BAG
For Labor
hospital paperwork (health care card and the special card used in Australia to record maternity health - these are both always in my wallet)
birth plan (several copies)
massage oil/lotion
hair ties
change of clothes and a sweater for Mr Bibliosaur
snacks and change for the vending machines

For Post-Birth
nursing tanks (I'm holding off on buying nursing bras until I get a better idea of what size the hooters will be post-birth)
yoga pants
granny panties
slippers
maternity pads
breast pads
toiletries (travel size): comb, soap, shampoo, conditioner, lip balm, deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste
Lasinoh cream
pen and paper/notebook
going home outfit (a loose fitting top and maternity jeans)
plastic bag for dirty clothes
cell phone and charger
camera w/ spare batteries/charger

BABIES' BAG
disposable diapers and wipes (yes we're still using cloth, but not for the first 6 weeks or so and most hospitals here don't provide disposable diapers)
preemie outfits (Aus. size 00000) x 4
newborn outfits (Aus. size 0000) x 4
socks x4
hats x2
muslin wraps

OTHER
nursing pillow - I have this one, which is specially designed for feeding twins

We're taking two sizes of baby outfits because I'm unsure which ones will fit our boys. While there's no doubt that they'll be born earlier than the average baby, they're also larger than the average babies are at this age, so they might fit the newborn clothes vs the preemie ones (I've read that with the footed onesies, this is largely a matter of length, not weight).
 
Do you think there's anything critical that I missed? I'm not worried about the little optional extras or luxuries - I just want to make sure I haven't left out any of the necessities.

Want to see a man experience childbirth?

Well, sort of - he gets hooked up to some electrical impulses that simulate something like contractions, and the end result is...interesting.

I think this would be excellent mandatory torture a valuable experience for all men, don't you?

Hospital fun

I went into the hospital on Sunday for a routine 20 minute CTG scan - they hook you up to a fetal monitor that traces the babies’ heartbeats and also checks for contractions. To make a long story short, they became concerned because some contractions were showing up on the trace – I knew I was having them, but I hadn’t worried since they were so mild and so irregular (especially since they can last for weeks and mine had been going on for several days without worsening).

They put me on nifedipine to stop the contractions and I spent the next couple of hours periodically hooked up to the CTG – things settled down a fair amount but not all the way, so they kept me in for observation and further monitoring and treatment for the next 2 nights, which was about as thrilling as you might imagine (mmm...hospital food...).

Possibly the worst photo of me EVER. Hopefully the enormous bare belly isn't too disturbing...

By yesterday afternoon everything had smoothed out, so they did an ultrasound to double check that all was OK (along with the most painful internal exam I've ever had - OMG the doctor was awful) and then released me with a prescription for more meds and instructions to do even less than I had been before, which basically means I can do...well, nothing, really. I don’t have to stay in bed, but I’m not allowed to do much else.

The part of all of this that has me upset is that they’ve also adjusted my due date forward. For some reason, the hospital has taken my original due date – May 3 – and added five days to it. I asked three nurses and two doctors why the date was different, and none of them could give me an answer beyond, “That’s what it says here. Besides, five days isn’t that long.”

Well maybe it’s not that long to THEM, but the date I deliver on is a little tricky. My hospital will only take births from 36 weeks onward – anything before that and I will be transferred to a hospital that is a 45 minute drive away (that's the best case scenario – if they didn’t have space, I’d have to go to Sydney). So changing my due date means that in order to stay here, I have to hold on for another TWO weeks instead of one...and frankly, at the moment that extra week looks stunningly difficult.

I’ve been steadily focused on April 5 (the day I hit 36 weeks, which is considered term for twins) for months; it’s been such rough going and I've been hanging on with teeth and nails for the last few weeks - having that date to count down to has meant a lot to me. So for someone to suddenly switch the goalposts is just...well, it’s very hard to deal with, even if it is only a week...I've cried over this more times than I want to admit, I just feel so disheartened.

I’m seeing my OBGYN tomorrow and am going to discuss the date issue with him. I don’t know if he has any influence at the hospital (he used to work in the high risk clinic there and is still respected by many of the staff), but I really hope that somehow they’ll change the date back to May 3. Personally, I think it was probably a simple transcription error somewhere along the line (‘3’ and ‘8’ do look similar) since May 8 doesn’t even match up with any projected dates from any of the bajillion ultrasounds I’ve had, but no one will admit that’s a possibility. If they won’t change it, well...these kids will come when they feel like it and I don’t know if holding on for another two weeks is realistic at this stage, so if we have to go somewhere else, then that’s how it will have to be.

We're so close to the finish line now - please wish us luck...

Twins' nursery: the big reveal!

I'm feeling pretty excited today because the twins' nursery is officially finished! We kinda left it down to the wire, so it's a relief to have it done before they arrive.

Here's what the room looked like before:

There was nothing wrong with it per se, but it was a bit...boring. Here's what the room looks like now:

What do you think? It's not fancy by any means, but it's cheerful and happy and Mr Bibliosaur is especially proud of the gigantic pirate ship decal, which was...interesting...to put up (I wish both it and the paint color photographed better with my little camera, because they look quite cool in person). A few details:

• Paint - the color is Secret Blue by British Paints (an Australian brand) - the blue is lighter and brighter than it looks here, and can also have a green tint depending on the lighting.
• Cribs - 'Harbour' by Childcare (also an Australian brand)
• Changing table - DaVinci Jenny Lind in white, bought secondhand
• Bedding - Citrus by Babylicious. I love that you can buy their bedding sets without the useless bumper, plus they're very reasonably priced. You can buy them online through Target, or from Baby's In Style like I did (I highly recommend this store - the owner is very helpful and patiently answered my million questions).
• Wall decal - Huge Pirate Ship w/ Monogram (we got it without the monogram initial) from etsy seller Humsandtiddlypoms.
• Artwork - all prints are DIY and were created in Photoshop. The orange initials are temporary and will be replaced with something similar but different after the babies are born (I need to know their birthdates and weights before I can finish it). The L-O-V-E poster is a shameless rip-off loving tribute to this poster (I loved the idea, but at $45 + international shipping for an unframed print, there was no way I was buying the real deal - my version only cost $20 for the frame).
• Rocking chair - a freebie that I got from a generous friend, and we gave it a little facelift with some paint and new fabric:

What do you think?

Five things

Although I have a few things to write about today, none are really long enough to justify their own post, so I'll just sum up here...

• I had another measuring ultrasound last week - they're getting more frequent as my doctors need to make sure the boys are growing at the same rate, which is always a concern with twins who are sharing a placenta. And OMG - I have big kids! My doctor was confident that it's nothing to do with the gestational diabetes - they're not really fat, just big. One of them weighed 2.45kg (5.4lbs) and the other was 2.428kg (5.3lbs). This means they're already nearly at the average birthweight for twins who are delivered at 36 weeks (5.5lbs), and they're also both over 1lb larger than the average singleton is at this stage. I know that ultrasounds can be off with weight estimates, but yikes! Their heads are still measuring ahead too - both are measuring a bit over 36 weeks.

• My doctor also told me that at this stage he's now confident that if something happened and I were to go into labor tomorrow, the boys are big and strong and would likely be just fine - perhaps they'd need to be on oxygen for a few days, but otherwise he feels good about their progress. This has made me feel more confident and relaxed; I'm now at the very end of week 33 (week 34 begins tomorrow), so while of course it would be ideal to hang in there until 36+ weeks, I feel better knowing that my little ones are now far enough along and well developed enough that if I suddenly went into labor they would be OK.

• My PUPPP rash is now covering most of my torso (belly, chest, arms and sides) and parts of my legs - after discussing it with another of my doctors, he prescribed some hydrocortisone cream for me to use. And oh my...it is wonderful! There's still some discomfort and a mild itchiness, but NOTHING like what it was before. I know that a lot of women who have PUPPP try to avoid the steroid creams, and I did try the natural remedies I've found online, but none of them helped and I'm just so happy to get some relief from the crazy itchiness! 

• I've spent the last week cooking extra meals, and Mr Bibliosaur and I now have enough dinners in the freezer to feed us both for a week and a half after the babies arrive. I don't think we could fit any more in there, so I might call it quits now!

• The nursery is soooo close to being complete! We just need to get the bedding sets (which should arrive tomorrow) and reupholster the cushions of the rocking chair, which my lovely mother-in-law is going to help me with this week. In the meantime, here are a few teaser shots:

Things I've learned

I feel like lately I've been focusing a lot on the negative parts of this pregnancy, so today I want to take a minute and talk about some of the good things - the positive things - that I've learned over the last 33 weeks.

I've learned patience.
Not just the patience that comes with time spent trying to conceive or growing a baby (or two) for nine months, but patience with my own limitations. This pregnancy has forced me to slow down and take things as they come. I've never been one for dawdling, but these days I couldn't move quickly even if I wanted to - it's just physically impossible. I'm ponderously slow, to the point that I've started giving myself an extra 10 minutes on top of my usual traveling time, just to accommodate my walking speed. And surprisingly, instead of feeling frustrated, I feel immensely calm about this. There's no need to rush. I'll get there.

I've learned to let go.
I'm a planner. A super planner. It's not that I dislike spontaneity, but I truly enjoy planning. But with any pregnancy, you can only plan so much. I never planned on miscarrying with our first child, and I certainly never planned on having twins! I've learned to be more adaptable, more flexible, more relaxed when things don't go the way I thought they would - or should. A LOT of our plans changed when we found out all those weeks and months ago that we were having twins. Everything changed, from our budget to practical considerations like which bedroom would be converted into a nursery. I've become far more accepting of things that I cannot control.

I've learned that anything is possible.
When we found out we were having twins, I told myself, "Well, that's your thing for this pregnancy. Your unusual thing. Everyone has one, and twins is yours." And then I got gestational diabetes, and I told myself, "OK, it wasn't the twins, it's the GD. That's your thing." And then I got PUPPP and in between bouts of trying not to burst into tears from the itchiness, I tried to figure out just how the hell I managed to beat the odds to get identical twins, GD and PUPPP. None of these things are super common, and the odds of getting them all must be...well, it's got to be ridiculously high! But it's not just that kind of thing that I've learned is possible. I didn't know I could ever feel so strongly about one little person, let alone two, that I've never met,  so ferociously loving and protective that it catches me off guard sometimes. I'd wrestle a tiger for these babies - these precious, amazing little people that I've yet to meet face to face - if I needed to. I cannot begin to describe the pure depth of emotion that I feel toward them, and it surprises me sometimes...after all, this is me, the baby hater. I never would have thought this was possible.

Itchyitchyitchy!

Over the weekend my belly started itching, especially around my stretchmarks. The twins have been growing and stretching my skin a lot lately, so I didn't really worry about it much - just slathered on lotion and continued as normal. And then it got worse. And worse.

I had an appointment with my OBGYN on Monday and asked him about the itching. He said it wasn't unexpected since my skin is stretching so much, and suggested trying lanolin cream for some extra relief. So I did. I tried regular lotion, baby oil, lanolin, even calamine lotion - and it kept getting worse.

Over the last 2 days, it's developed into a full blown rash that covers my entire belly, parts of my breasts and thighs, and even some of my arms. And the itching...oh my god, the ITCHING.

Last night I completely melted down. Mr Bibliosaur came home and asked me how my day was, and I just lost it. I can handle the pelvic pain. I can handle the gestational diabetes - the diet, the insulin injections. I can handle the back pain, the exhaustion, the sheer weight of the babies dragging at my body...but I CANNOT handle this. The itchiness is unbelievably agonizing. It's like the worst burning itch you've ever experienced, and it will.not.stop. I can barely tolerate a shirt touching my skin. Mr Bibliosaur can't even put his hand on my belly, and barely on any other part of my skin lest it set off some kind of itchy chain reaction.

So after lying in bed in tears last night, unable to sleep due to the rash, I called my OB's office first thing this morning and managed to get in to see him today. When I showed him my belly, he made an unhappy face and said that he had been worried at my last appointment that this might happen, but hadn’t wanted to say anything just in case the itchiness really was due to the stretching.

He mentioned Cholestasis of Pregnancy, which 1-1.5% of pregnant women get, but from what I’ve read (and yes I KNOW I’m not a doctor) I think it’s more likely that I have PUPPP, which about 1 in 200 pregnant women end up with. I think this mostly because CP doesn’t normally present with a rash but PUPPP does – plus, with CP the itching is usually concentrated in your hands and feet, but with PUPPP it often starts on your abdomen and then progresses to your legs, breasts and arms, as mine has. They both cause intense itching, and for both of them the only cure is giving birth. CP, however, has significantly more risks – it’s caused by bile acid buildup in the bloodstream – including premature labour and stillbirth, so he may just be playing it conservatively by wanting to monitor me for this.

At any rate, as these things can only be treated but not cured, for now we're just trying to deal with the symptoms, so my doctor has given me Phenergan. This won’t take the rash away but hopefully it will help control the unbearable itchiness. If this doesn’t work, we’ll have to try steroid pills or creams.

And now I'm going to do something I thought I'd never do - I'm going to post a big ole bare bump photo on the internet so you can take a look at this rash, along with all of my swollen stretchmarks. I'm warning you - it's not a pretty sight, so feel free to stop reading now.



Still with me?



You sure?



OK then - here you go:

This photo really doesn't capture just how bad it is - how red, how swollen, how painful, how ITCHY.

I just....I am just so over this right now. I know I only need to hang in there for another 3.5 weeks, but I've got to be honest - that is looking like a LOOOOONG time right now.

Today's post is brought to you by the number 4

Can you believe it? We only have 4 WEEKS TO GO! Just one month! Well, OK - I'm 32 weeks along, which means that technically we have two months. But if these boys stick to the average and make their debut at 36 weeks, that means we only have four short weeks to go!

It could be as as long as six weeks if the twins decide they'd like to be baked a while longer, but my doctor has informed me that he probably won't allow me to go past that, not only because of the stress on my body, but due to the gestational diabetes...so if we do make it to 38 weeks, I'd be looking at an induction. However, he also thinks it's fairly likely that I'll naturally go into labor before then, so right now we're just focusing on making it through the next month and hitting that 36 week goal.

There are a few reasons why we're trying to hang in there for the next month. First, after 35 weeks, your baby is basically done developing. Sure, they'll be smaller than a 40 week newborn, but for all intents and purposes everything is finished growing and the baby won't need to go to the NICU. The second reason is a bit more personal: the hospital in my little town will not take births before 36 weeks. If I go into labor before April 5 (Easter Monday), then I will need to call the maternity ward at my hospital to give them a heads up before I arrive, and they will then transfer me in an ambulance to an alternative hospital in another town about 45 minutes away. The maternity ward in this second hospital has a great reputation, so I'm not worried about that, but from a practical standpoint (such as ease of driving for Mr Bibliosaur) it would be preferable to stay in our town.

Some days - like today - it seems like it will be so easy to make it to 36 weeks. My Braxton Hicks contractions have significantly reduced since I stopped working (I didn't realize just how much stress simply going to work was putting on my body, but I was getting BH contractions all.the.time), I'm lying comfortably on the couch, most of my bodyparts aren't hurting, and I'm well rested. Other days, it seems like there is simply no way in the world that we can make it another month - when the pain in my hips is so bad that I can't sleep at night, when my stomach muscles are screaming for this strain to end, when my multitude of stretchmarks are growing as wide as my little finger because the babies have run out of room to grow upward or forward and are now stretching my belly and my skin sideways (and oh my god but those stretchmarks ITCH!).

So for now, I'm taking things the only way I can: one day at a time. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but every day is another step toward our goal. Wish me luck, and send some "stay in there for another 4 weeks" vibes!

Living with GD

No one wants to get gestational diabetes - that really goes without saying. But it does happen, and I'd like to say one thing about it: it's not that bad.

No really - it's not! I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better or to downplay the risks it brings to your pregnancy (because it does bring some risks). But it's really not as bad as it sounds, or as difficult to live with as you might think.

Let's talk about food. While it's true that you do have to cut back on refined carbohydrates (sugars, white bread, potatoes, white rice...basically the white foods), it's not like there's nothing left to eat. I can still eat carbs - in fact, I HAVE to eat them because your body and your babies need a certain amount of carbs at every meal - but they're in a different form. Instead of regular potatoes, I eat sweet potatoes. Instead of white bread, I have wholegrain bread. Instead of white rice, I cook Basmati rice (which to most people looks and tastes virtually the same as white rice anyway). I can still have pasta, as long as it's a reasonable serve and not a massive bowl - in fact, last night I had delish homemade mac&cheese as a side dish!

My guidelines from my dietitian are that I have 30 grams of carbs at breakfast, 45g at both lunch and dinner, and 15-30g at snacks (at least two snacks per day, between meals). It's important that the carbs are paired with a protein, which helps to slow the sugar's absorption into your system. Here's what I might have on a typical day, just as an example:

Breakfast: yogurt with 1/4 cup of muesli, or 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of toast and a glass of milk
Morning snack: 2 wholegrain crackers with cottage cheese (my crackers are quite large, so you may need more depending on what kind you have), or some mini pretzels with cheese
Lunch: chicken or tuna with lettuce on wholegrain seeded bread and a handful of grapes, or a chef salad that includes mixed beans, cheese and some kind of meat
Afternoon snack: apple with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, or a pear with a few slices of cheese
Dinner: Thai chicken curry with basmati rice on the side, or maybe a couple burritos with beef, beans and other toppings (reduced carb tortillas are my new favorite thing!)

So as you can see, I still eat good food, and plenty of it - there are even a ton of delicious dessert recipes out there (helloooo cheesecake), so you can still satisfy that sweet tooth! I actually feel a bit odd even calling this a "diet" since it's really just the way we should all eat normally anyway.

All of this said, I will be honest: the last two weeks have been frustrating. Not because of the food, but because of how my body has been reacting to it. My doctor wanted to try controlling the GD with diet alone initially, so that's what we did. And it wasn't working for me. I was very, very careful with my meals - everything was weighed or measured to make sure that I was getting the correct portion sizes - and my blood sugar levels were still all over the chart. In fact, I could eat something one day, get a great blood sugar reading, then eat the exact same thing the next day and get a ridiculously high number. No matter what I did, I just couldn't get it to stabilize - and for someone as habitually in control as I am, this is immensely frustrating!

So yesterday I saw the doctor who is overseeing my GD, and as of today I'm on insulin. It may sound strange, but I was actually pretty eager to start the drugs - I want to get this under control, and I want to do that as fast as possible, so once it became clear that food alone wasn't going to work, I was impatient to move on to the next step.

Because both my fasting and post-meal blood sugar was high, I've been prescribed two different types of insulin. The first is a rapid release dose which I take three times a day, 10 minutes before each main meal - this helps my body absorb and cope with the sugar from the food I'm about to eat. The second is a once-a-day dose that I have at bedtime - it operates in the background for 24 hours to keep my fasting sugar levels stable so I'm not on a sugary roller coaster.

I don't have a needle phobia, but I was still a little nervous about having to inject insulin into my abdomen four times a day. But it really isn't that bad - in fact, it's actually less painful than the finger pricks you have to do to check your blood sugar. You use an epipen (or, in my case, two different epipens for the different insulins), and the needles are quite small and thin, so aside from an initial light pricking sensation, you don't really feel anything.

So there you have it! I hope it gives everyone a better understanding of what living with GD is like, and I want anyone out there who has just been diagnosed to see that it's really not that bad - you don't have to survive on bland food while being stabbed with 5" needles. And best of all, it's not forever, but just until you give birth!

Warning: venting ahead!

I need to get something off my chest. As you all know, we're planning on cloth diapering our twins. Not right away (we're going to wait until they're out of the newborn sizes first), but that's the plan.

This is a decision that has met with less than happy approval with many people that I talk to. The conversation always starts out with someone idly asking me if we're going to use cloth or disposable diapers. I cheerfully reply cloth, and expect the conversation to end. But instead, I'm treated to a lecture about how much easier and cleaner disposables are (I usually interrupt to tell people about how different modern cloth diapers are to the old fold-and-pin type, but that never seems to make a dent), and then this happens: "Well, you know you won't really save any money by using cloth since you have to wash them all."

*sigh* This is me, remember? The anal retentive tightwad control freak? You really think I made this decision without crunching the numbers? Disposables would cost us approximately $3,000AUD for the first year. Even if we buy all brand new of the most expensive cloth diapers out there, we're only looking at a $1500 outlay, tops. Water and electricity for one extra load of washing per day is about $1 (closer to $0.50 in the USA, but like everything else, it's more expensive here), so that's only $365 extra a year. We'll still be saving around $1150, and the odds are that we wouldn't even be doing a load every day. Not to mention that the most expensive cloth diapers are all-in-one sizes, so they would fit until potty training time, which means that there isn't the same kind of ongoing annual cost that you get with disposables.

It's also been interesting to me how many people have expressed disgust with scraping poo off a diaper. The ironic thing is that you have to do this with disposables as well. Yup, it's illegal to throw feces in the garbage (both here in Australia and in the USA) - this fact even has a mention in the Helpful Hints section of the Pampers website, where they say to scrape before you chuck the diaper out. Now, I'd bet that the majority of people who use disposables don't do this (and probably don't even know you're supposed to), but the simple fact is that aside from cost, the only real difference between modern cloth diapers is that one goes in the trash and one goes in the washing machine. Otherwise, as far as ease of use, convenience, and even poo scraping, they're the exact same.

I guess I'm just frustrated. I don't say nasty things when people choose disposables. If you don't want to do cloth, that's OK - it's a personal choice. So why isn't it OK the other way around? It flabbergasts me that people are so overtly judgmental about this. It's not their money, time or laundry. I'm not asking them to come to my house and change the babies or wash the diapers. Aaaarggh!!!

Of course, the ironic thing is that if we were choosing to use disposables, I bet we'd be getting comments about how bad it is for the environment, etc. Sometimes you just can't win!

The week of ultrasounds

*whew* This week has been a non-stop circus of doctor's appointments, including two different ultrasounds.

On Monday I had a 30-week ultrasound where the babies were carefully measured to make sure that they're still growing at the same rate (they are!) and that the gestational diabetes isn't affecting them badly (it doesn't seem to be). Today was the second scan, which was virtually the same but conducted by the very high risk specialist - again, I just want to reassure everyone that I don't actually need this particular doctor, I just see him occasionally to touch bases should I ever require his help. It's one of those preventative things.

A few measurement tidbits for your reading pleasure:

• The babies currently weigh 3.75 and 3.8 pounds, respectively, a little larger than the average 30 week, 3lb baby. That means that I'm already toting around the equivalent of a 7.5lb baby. Can you imagine what it will be like in another 6-8 weeks? Eeek!
• Both babies are measuring slightly ahead of schedule - one was 4 days ahead, the other was approximately one week ahead - so they're a bit larger than the average twins at this stage (most start slowing down after 28 weeks or so, just because space gets a little cramped). I was initially worried that this was from the GD, but my doctor reassured me that although they're on the large side, they're still within the normal growth range.
• They're both head down, which is excellent news (we may be able to avoid a c-section!) but that means that not only do I now have two heads jammed painfully into my pelvis and exacerbating the donkey crotch, but they're two massive heads. My 30 week old boys both have head measurements the size of the average 34 week old baby. My poor ladyparts are shriveling in fear at the idea of how large their heads will be when it comes time to push these kids out...here's hoping I don't give birth to bobbleheads.

Anyone else have a baby with a gigantic head? Did it even out in growth with the rest of the body before they were born?

Making a plan

Today marks the beginning of week 30, which means that I'm starting to seriously think about what's going to happen when these babies are born, especially since it could be in as little as 5 or 6 weeks! I started drafting a birth plan ages ago, but hadn't really firmed it up or finalized it before now.

My goals for my plan were:
1) that it could fit on one side of one piece of paper, as I don't want anyone to have to search for ages to try to find my preferences for something;  
2) that each item could fit on one single line, using bullet points because I believe that simpler is better; and
3) that it should cover both a vaginal birth and a c-section, since I don't know at this stage which I'll be having - even if both babies behave themselves and we can start with a vaginal birth, there is still a chance that I may end up needing a c-section to get the second twin out.

I know that many readers will have their own opinions and preferences on some matters (such as pain relief or having the baby in the room with you all the time vs in the nursery part time), so please remember: this is my birth plan. I am not insisting that this is the only way to do things, since I believe that what may be right for one woman won't be for another. Now that's been said, here's the plan as it stands today:

Birth Plan for Bibliosaur (TWIN PREGNANCY)
Due Date    3 May 2008
Patient of    Dr H (XXXX Hospital) and Dr S (XXXX Medical Centre)

These preferences presume a normal pregnancy/birth; we may change our thinking as labor ensues.

Labor
Mr Bibliosaur (husband) present at all times.
No visitors or observers such as students or unnecessary staff at any stage.
Freedom to walk and change positions as needed/desired.
To stay hydrated by drinking water.

Pain Relief
If I request medication, I would like an epidural.

Episiotomy
I would rather tear than have an episiotomy.
Please use local anaesthetic for any repairs.

Delivery
I would like the freedom to push and deliver in any position I like.
Mr Bibliosaur would like to help catch the babies if possible.

Immediately Following Delivery
Mr Bibliosaur would like to cut the cords if possible.

Newborn Care
Please evaluate and bathe the babies at my bedside.
Mr Bibliosaur would like to accompany the babies should they need to go to the NICU, if possible.

Postpartum Care & Breastfeeding
If available, I would prefer a private room.
I would like the babies to room-in with me during the day and be in the nursery overnight (brought for breastfeeding during the night as necessary).
I will breastfeed/pump milk and would like to meet with a lactation consultant.

Cesarean Section Delivery
Mr Bibliosaur to be present during the surgery.
I would prefer an epidural rather than general anesthetic.
We would like the babies to be held by Mr Bibliosaur immediately and to be with me in recovery, if possible.

You may notice that there are a lot of "if possible" statements in there. That's because some of these things simply may not be possible with twins - for example, we may not have the option of holding them right away if they need to go to the NICU (and Mr Bibliosaur may not be able to accompany them there), and it may not be an option for Mr Bibliosaur to catch the babies - so we need to understand the potential limitations of our situation.

You also may notice that, compared to a lot of sample birth plans (like this one), it's short. This was both intentional - as I said, I wanted it to be able to fit on one side of a single sheet of paper - and because I don't have anything that I feel "it must be this way!" about. I simply don't care about many of the little things that are on some birth plans - for example, playing music or wearing my own clothes. Perhaps I should, but I don't.

Other things that are on some checklists - like stating that you don't want an enema upon admission - are outdated, since most hospitals don't normally do that these days anyway, so there's no point in bulking out your birth plan with things that won't happen or things that your hospital already does/allows as a matter of routine procedure. And there are yet more things - like wanting the lights dimmed - that I am confident I will verbalize (possibly rather loudly, haha!) at the time, and thus don't need written down.

I think that it's absolutely fine to have strong desires for your ideal birth plan, but that flexibility is important as well. My entire goal is to have a good outcome with healthy babies and a healthy mama, and I'm open to doing whatever I need to in order to accomplish that. If I go into labor and decide that I can do it drug-free, then that's great. If I go into labor and decide that I want drugs OMG NOW GIVE THEM TO ME NOWWWW, then that's great too. If we can do this vaginally, fantastic. If I need a c-section to get these babies out, then that's fantastic too.

If you don't know where to start with drafting a birth plan, there are a lot of websites out there that make it easy, like this birth plan creator from SheKnows - you just tick the boxes to indicate what you'd like, and the end result is your customized plan. This one from the Bump is fairly comprehensive, and I also like this simpler version from Bubhub, which is a bit less wordy than the SheKnows version.

Calling it quits

I've mentioned before that I'm a member of an online forum - although it's not specifically about pregnancy or babies, a number of us are pregnant or have recently given birth, and they've been a wonderful source of support and encouragement for me. Over the weekend, I had a meltdown - exhausted, in pain and crying, I posted this:

Things have gotten so hard in the last week - just so incredibly hard. Physically I'm at the 40-week point, and it's starting to wear on me. I'm in constant pain from one body part or another...the inflammation in my ribs, the strain that my stomach muscles are under, back aches from hell, the insane pelvic soreness that actually brings me to tears (it's so bad that I had to ask Mr Bibliosaur to lift my legs onto the couch and onto the bed last night because I couldn't do it by myself). I started crying hysterically at the foot of the stairs when I looked up and realized that I had to walk up them before I could take a warm shower or get in bed.

I think about the fact that I have about another 7 weeks to go, and the idea of trying to cope for another two months makes me want to burst into tears. I feel so incredibly miserable right now, I have no idea how I can keep going for that long.

I feel so weak complaining. I feel like I'm letting down the team, like I'm not being as strong as I should be. Women in third world countries in grass huts have twins, and I feel like such a loser in my inability to cope.

And I feel guilty for wishing I wasn't pregnant anymore. I wish that I could magically skip ahead another two months and have this be all over and done with. I know this will get even harder and I'm dreading it. I only have another 2 weeks left of work, and I'm sure it will help when I stop, but it still won't be that much easier.

The wonderful women of the forum gave me support, they gave me encouragement, they gave me advice. A number of them stressed that I'm human - I'm not a superhero, I'm not Wonder Woman, and I shouldn't feel ashamed or like I'm a bad mother for feeling the way I did. I feel like there is this terrible pressure for pregnant women to keep up an "everything is wonderful!" exterior, when the truth is that it's often not. Some women have an easy run, but for a lot of others, pregnancy is hard.

The Bibliosaur belly two weeks ago, at 27 weeks. See what I mean by the same size as a singleton at 40 weeks?

Something several of them asked was if there was any way I could stop working earlier than scheduled, to try to take some of the pressure off. I said no - I had a plan and I was sticking to it, to try to make the most of my vacation/sick days and maternity leave. It was just two more weeks - I could do it, right?

But as it turns out, no, I couldn't.

I saw my OBGYN on Monday. He asked me when I was finishing work and I told him the end of this month. And he said, "Bibliosaur. You are the same size as a full-term pregnancy. You just told me that you can barely get in and out of the car by yourself. Frankly, I'd like it if you finished today. I'll give you this week, but you need to stop working after this Friday. NOT two weeks from now."

So it turns out that this is my last week at work. I don't have enough sick/vacation days saved up to cover the extra week, so I moved my maternity leave up a bit to take care of the gap. Obviously it would be nice to only use the leave when I have a good chance of the twins actually being born, but on the other hand, I'm getting 28 weeks off, so I can afford to use a week or two of it in pre-baby time!

After this was all arranged, I felt (and still feel) so incredibly relieved. I didn't realize just how utterly miserable the idea of going to work every day was - even though I love my job and even though my boss has been incredibly supportive and fantastic with giving me the easiest possible tasks every day, just the sheer effort of getting up and making it through the day was killing me. And now I only have 2 more days of work to go! WOOHOO!

The good, the bad and the ugly

I'm a regular member of an online forum - a little while ago, we had a discussion about the good and bad parts of pregnancy. That got me thinking: what parts of this pregnancy have been good? What about bad? And how about downright ugly? Let's start with the ugly and work our way up...

The Ugly
Stretch marks from hell. I started getting stretchmarks ages ago...probably around 18 weeks or so? I wasn't really surprised - genetics determine whether or not you get them (which makes all of those magical lotions an expensive waste of time), and since I already had some from puberty I knew that I would probably get them now. Add to that a body expanding at twice the normal rate with twins, and it's Stretch Mark City, population: Me. I have them on my boobs, on my sides, on my hips, and of course on my belly. I can't say how many I have - counting them would be too depressing. (Side note: I never knew that stretch marks go in a circle around your belly button. Of course it makes sense since that's how the muscle goes, but I'd never actually seen it - in person or in photos - until I got them.)

The Bad

Morning sickness. Hardly unique, but it still sucks. For about four months I was nauseated 24/7 and feeling like I was perpetually on the verge of puking - I never actually threw up, but sometimes I think that just feeling like you're constantly about to is worse.

Fatigue. It's hard enough to cope with the sudden inrush of hormones and the morning sickness - add in wanting to collapse from exhaustion all the time and it's just the icing on the cake. I never got the second trimester pick-me-up that people talk about, so this feeling has been around since I was about 5 weeks pregnant. And yes, it's getting old.

Swelling. I've mentioned my water retention cankles before. Enough said.

Heartburn. I've gone through what seems like about 500 pounds of antacid tablets over the course of this pregnancy. The good news is that last week I finally found something that actually works: Zantac. One pill a day and heartburn is no more! It may be my new best friend.


Physical challenges. This isn't so much one thing as a whole host of them lumped together, and I'll be the first to admit that this is probably harder for me than for the average pregnant woman - carrying an extra baby around will do that to you, and right now, at 28 weeks, I'm about the size of a woman with a singleton pregnancy at 35 weeks. It's not just not being able to pick stuff up off the floor or put on socks or even having heave myself with all my might just to turn over in bed. The sheer weight of the babies is difficult these days - the underside of my stomach is perpetually sore, and I'm thinking of buying a maternity support belt to try to relieve some of the pressure off my back. It's physically exhausting in a way I never expected.

Donkey crotch. OK, this one is a little weird. It doesn't seem to happen to all pregnant women - just a few unlucky ones like myself! Basically, it's normal pelvic soreness taken to the next level: it feels like I've been kicked in the crotch by a donkey. All. The. Time. Walking is painful, stairs are suicide (why did we buy a two story house? WHY???), and having to lift my legs - like getting in and out of bed or the car - is the worst; the pain has actually brought tears to my eyes. There's nothing that can be done except to power through it, although I've found that gently rocking on an exercise ball can bring temporary relief.

The Good
For a long time, I wondered why on earth would anyone voluntarily do this. I'm not a baby or child lover...in fact, I actively dislike them. But I already love these babies more than I can even express, and that makes it worth it. Every single day I tell them, "This is getting hard for me. But it's OK, you do what you need to do and keep growing - I'll handle it. We can do this." Because there are these things - the good things.

Quickening. I love feeling the boys shift and move. It's incredible to know that's new life that's moving in me, that I'm charged with carrying and protecting them. Even when it feels like they're playing soccer in the middle of the night and keeping me awake, it's still a joy to feel it.

They're unique. I'm amazed and fascinated that they have such different personalities, although they're not even born yet! Twin A is laid back and easygoing - Twin B is very demanding and if I lay on my right side (where he is), he'll kick me until I roll back over onto my other side because he doesn't like being squashed. It's absolutely incredible to realize that these are two little individuals, and I wonder if what I see as their personality traits right now will be true when they're born as well - if A will be calm and quiet, and if B will be more rambunctious and rowdy.

They're us...and yet more. There is simply nothing more amazing than creating a life, one that is half you and half the man you love. I look at Mr Bibliosaur and I'm humbled and amazed to think that the man whom I love so much will be part of these children. I look at him and wonder if they'll have his eyes, his mouth, his way of laughing. It's incredible to think that these little individuals are somehow more than just the sum of the two of us.

What about you? What are the good and bad points in your pregnancy?

GD + a doctor roundup

I definitely have gestational diabetes. The good news is that on the level of severity, mine apparently isn't too bad, or at least that's what my OBGYN said on the phone. He doesn't think I need to start on insulin right away, and that I may have a shot at controlling my blood sugar with diet alone. I'm not averse to taking insulin if necessary (I'm not averse to anything that will keep these babies healthy and from arriving prematurely!), nor do I have a problem with needles, but it's nice all the same to know I may not have to jab myself every day.

This means I'll need to start meeting with a physician in addition to my OBGYN - the one my doctor would like me to see is currently out of town, so I won't meet him for another week or so. Until then, my OB has simply instructed me to follow a general low-GI diet to keep my refined carbohydrates consumption down.

And this also means I'll be up to three doctors instead of two. *le sigh*

I don't think I've discussed my doctor situation, have I? This is what it looks like right now:

1. Dr S - this is my OBGYN. I was seeing him monthly, and now the visits have gone up to every two weeks since I'm in the third trimester. Note: this is a different doctor to the one I was seeing when we were still trying to conceive. She wasn't comfortable treating someone who was having multiples, and honestly after our many differences of opinion I wasn't sorry to switch to someone else at around the 12 week mark - Dr S is one of the most experienced doctors in town and I love him, so I'm so happy that I made the change!
2. Dr H - this is the high risk specialist at the local hospital. It's standard in my little town to see Dr H if there is anything at all different about your pregnancy such as preeclampsia, threatened premature delivery, etc. As a multiple pregnancy is always classed as high risk, I check in with him on a monthly basis, with dates alternating with my OB (i.e., I'd visit Dr S, then Dr H two weeks later, then Dr S two weeks after that, etc.) - I suspect this will be stepped up to every two weeks at our next appointment so I'll then see either him or Dr S every week.
3. Dr D - this is the physician I'll need to meet with to monitor my gestational diabetes. I don't know if it's common to see someone other than your OB about this in the States, but it seems to be standard here in Australia. He'll help me with my diet and prescribe insulin should it be needed in the future.
4. Dr P - I don't really count him as one of my doctors, as I haven't actually met him yet - the first, and probably only, appointment with him will be at the end of this month. Dr P specializes in very high risk cases, and practices in Sydney; he only visits my town once every 1-2 months. I'm meeting with him at the request of Dr H, not because I actually need Dr P's assistance but just in case I should at some stage - it's standard practice for Dr H's patients. 

So there you have it - the Bibliosaur and Bebbehs Dream Team!

The countdown begins

Today I am 27 weeks pregnant, and officially in the third trimester.

Or possibly not, if you go by the calculations that the third tri starts at 28 weeks. I can't get a definite answer anywhere...some websites and books say 27 weeks, others say 28 (one even said 29!), but since my neatnik brain likes the idea of the 40 weeks divided into three even trimesters of 13.3 weeks, I'm going with 27 weeks.

I'm leaving work in just 4 weeks; although my maternity leave doesn't start until April 4, I've saved up enough vacation time and sick leave that I'm taking the entire month of March off as well - and honestly, it couldn't come a moment too soon, as simple things are getting more physically challenging every day. I'm looking forward to being able to potter around the house getting things organized and taking naps whenever I feel like it!

And I'm down to single digits in the weekly countdown to when these babies will be born - if they arrive at 36 weeks (which is the average for twins), that's only 9 weeks away! I feel like we still have so much to do, so much to prepare before they arrive. The nursery is nowhere near ready, the cloth diaper stash hasn't even begun...I know I still have plenty of time, but there's also part of me that's shrieking, "OMGholycrapweonlyhavetwomonths!!!!!!!!"

My goal is to get all - or at least most - of that stuff done by 32 weeks, which is only 5 weeks away. I think it's doable, considering that we already have all of our major items (cribs, carseats, stroller, etc.) ordered, so we mostly just need to start the actual process of setting up the nursery by painting and decorating, along with buying a few smaller odds and ends (for example, swaddling blankets, bottles, etc., plus the diaper stash). Does 32 weeks seem reasonable with an expectation of a 36 week due date?

It's so incredible to think that we could be meeting these babies in just over two months; I remember when this pregnancy first started, just making it to the 12 week mark seemed like an eternity...and now here I am, entering third tri and starting the countdown!

Carbo-load

As I mentioned in my last post, now that I've failed my gestational diabetes screening, I have to go back for an Oral Glucose Tolerance Test. Some tests are three or four hours long, requiring your blood to be drawn for testing once per hour - the one I'm going in for is only two hours long, takes place first thing in the morning, and my blood will only be taken twice: once before the test and once at the end.

I have to spend three days preparing my body by eating a prescribed high carb diet and then fasting from 9pm the night before the test. From what I understand, chowing down on carbs for a few days kind of "primes" the body for the test and reduces the number of false positives, which can occur if you normally have a very low carb diet (which I don't, although I also don't eat this much every day).

 This is the minimum amount of carbs that I have to eat every day for the next three days:
- my usual amounts of milk, meat, fish, eggs, cheese and butter/margarine PLUS
- three slices of bread or toast AND
- one serving of breakfast cereal, oatmeal or spaghetti AND
- one potato or a serving of rice AND
- three servings of vegetables AND
- three servings of fruit (fresh, cooked, canned or juice) AND
- a snack of either two cookies or one scone or an extra slice of bread (I have to have two of these snacks per day)

To give you an idea of what this looks like, today I had:
Breakfast - oatmeal plus one slice of bread
Morning snack - an apple plus two shortbread cookies
Lunch - a tuna sandwich (don't worry, it was light tuna, not albacore) and grapes
Afternoon snack - another apple and two more shortbread cookies
Dinner - chicken stir fry with three servings of vegetables and rice (it may have been better to spread the veggies throughout the day like the fruit, but this was easier)

A few people have asked me if there's a chance if I could pass this next test. Of course the answer is yes, but honestly, I'd be stunned if I passed. Normally that only happens if your first result is borderline; using Australia's system, where a score of 3.5-7.8 is normal, borderline might be around 8.5 - but mine was 10.5. So I think it's pretty likely that it will come back with a bad result again, unfortunately. Don't get me wrong, I'd be thrilled if the first test was a fluke and this one comes back just fine...but I think it's pretty unlikely.

I won't be able to tell you until next week whether this will be managed with diet alone, or if I'll need insulin as well. The good news is that a low-GI diet is a very healthy way to eat anyway and not overly restrictive - for example, you don't have to cut all carbohydrates, just choose complex ones over simple, refined carbs - so it won't be too horrible. 

A couple of you commented on what a good attitude I have about this. I'll be honest - I'm bummed. I truly am. This pregnancy has come with enough physical difficulties that I was really hoping to make it through without anything like this happening. However, I think just knowing from the day we found out we were having twins that this had a higher likelihood of occurring has made me much more accepting than I might have been otherwise.

I know there's not anything I can do, or anything I could have done to prevent this - it's just one of those things that happens sometimes in a regular pregnancy and a lot more frequently with twins. As this pregnancy progresses, my body is under an enormous amount of physical stress, so having whacked out insulin levels is really one of the more minor things that can happen and I'm glad that this is something that is very manageable, especially compared to having pre-eclampsia or hypertension or something else that would mean bedrest.

Plus if these babies are born at around 36 weeks (the average for twins), that means I only have about another 10 weeks to go, so it's really not too bad. I bet a lot of you have had regular diets that have lasted that long!