Sadly, this will be my last post on Pregosaur. I had an ultrasound yesterday and there is no heartbeat. I had a beta HCG level drawn and it is declining. I repeated the ultrasound today at another lab for a second opinion. Unfortunately, the results are the same. It looks like our baby stopped growing at about 6w5d. This is the way my first pregnancy ended last July. Mr. Pharmasaur and I are devastated again.
We do not know if we will TTC again or not. We cannot contemplate that decision right now. First, we need to get through the physical and emotional healing from this impending miscarriage.
Thank you all for bearing witness to my TTC and short pregnancy journey here on Pregosaur. Good luck with your TTC endeavours, your pregnancies and/or your adventures with your little ones. I wish you all the best.
Pharmasaur
Showing posts with label goodbye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goodbye. Show all posts
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
It's time
In case anyone missed me...
I have been on a bit of a hiatus from blogging over the last month. After I threw the thermometer in the drawer I have had many ups and downs. The ups are that I don't think about having another baby every day, more like just a few times a week...which is pretty miraculous for me. The downs being that seeing babies and people having new babies is often very difficult emotionally. I simply try to avoid reading about anything baby related, or focusing too much on anything that has to do with pregnancy and newborns.
I honestly know that I've done the right thing for myself and my family by giving up on ttc. I have had a sense of release. Almost like I've given myself permission to accept that I may only have one child naturally. This is definitely not an easy thing to accept, but it has helped me to not be anxious and pity myself that I haven't had more kids by now.
I say all this to let you know that I think my time on Pregosaur has come to a close. I know I've only been on here for a short time, but I think this is best for me. I figure if I am done ttc & I have a hard time even coming to the site and reading other peoples posts, that I really shouldn't overstay my welcome.
I pray that one day I will get my BFP, but I'm not anxiously counting on it. I really love that I have to count or look at a calendar to figure out what day of my cycle I am on. Maybe some day I'll be one of those people that wakes up suddenly and says "wow, I think my period is late" and I'll take a test and be dumbfounded when I see two lines. I pray that I can be caught off guard by pregnancy. I've always wanted to be one of those women....
So, to all of you in ttc and pregnancy land... thank you for being so supportive of my ttc endeavors.
May God shower you with the blessing of perfect babies.
I have been on a bit of a hiatus from blogging over the last month. After I threw the thermometer in the drawer I have had many ups and downs. The ups are that I don't think about having another baby every day, more like just a few times a week...which is pretty miraculous for me. The downs being that seeing babies and people having new babies is often very difficult emotionally. I simply try to avoid reading about anything baby related, or focusing too much on anything that has to do with pregnancy and newborns.
I honestly know that I've done the right thing for myself and my family by giving up on ttc. I have had a sense of release. Almost like I've given myself permission to accept that I may only have one child naturally. This is definitely not an easy thing to accept, but it has helped me to not be anxious and pity myself that I haven't had more kids by now.
I say all this to let you know that I think my time on Pregosaur has come to a close. I know I've only been on here for a short time, but I think this is best for me. I figure if I am done ttc & I have a hard time even coming to the site and reading other peoples posts, that I really shouldn't overstay my welcome.
I pray that one day I will get my BFP, but I'm not anxiously counting on it. I really love that I have to count or look at a calendar to figure out what day of my cycle I am on. Maybe some day I'll be one of those people that wakes up suddenly and says "wow, I think my period is late" and I'll take a test and be dumbfounded when I see two lines. I pray that I can be caught off guard by pregnancy. I've always wanted to be one of those women....
So, to all of you in ttc and pregnancy land... thank you for being so supportive of my ttc endeavors.
May God shower you with the blessing of perfect babies.
