She´s here!

I´ve been MIA because little Miss Lillysaur decieded to make an early appearnce. She was born at 38w2d on 12.11.10 at 7.40pm. She was in a hurry and labor was fast and furious. I had no form of pain relief and no tearing! Just when I was at the point where I thought I couldn´t take anymore without some help, it was time to push.

I went into labor while finishing up some shopping for her. In fact, I was standing at the check-out when I felt a drip drip and wondered to myself if I had a) wet myself or b) my water had broken when the sales lady asked me when the baby was supposed to come...talk about freakish timing! My mother was with me, so we headed to the restroom where I tried to decide which of the above it was. There was a bit of blood, so I figured it must be my water, but there wasn´t too much of it. I figured that since it was 12.30, I better get something to eat because they probably wouldn´t let me have anything at the hopsital. I felt incredibly removed/distracted from the world around me, but I ate my lunch and felt a few period-like cramps, but nothing else. I had to drive home because my mother doesn´t drive a standard and she doesn´t drive in foreign countries. That was fine until we were about 2 minutes from home and the first real contraction hit. It took all I had to concentrate on driving, and I was thankful that I was almost home and that it was a back road with no traffic. As soon as I got home the contractions started coming pretty regularly, probably about every 5-6 minutes, though I didn´t time them. I kept moving, finished getting some things together, made a few phone calls, and waited for Mr. Lillysaur to make it home. He got home at about 2.30pm, we waited for the dog trainer to come get the dog, and headed out at 3.15. My mother and husband rubbed my lower back for me whenever there was a contraction, and that made it very bearable.

We arrived at the hospital delivery ward about 4.00 and were shown to a labor room, hooked up to the fetal monitor and told to wait. The contraction seemed much less strong now that I was in the hospital and on my side. After about 45 minutes the midwife came back to check on me. She was ordered to do a PH test to see if it really was amniotic fluid or not, but with the blood in the cervix it wasn´t possible to determine. I was told I was about two finger tips dialated and taht I could go home if I wanted...It was a little after five now and I couldn´t imagine going home. I was sure this baby was on her way, and I told the midwife that. She left for a bit, and I tried out the birthing ball, but found it to be too uncomfortable. The contractions started kicking back up, and Mr. Lillysaur was busy massaging my lower back while I stood and rocked my hips, leaned on the windowsill for support or walked around. The midwife came back, noticed that I seemed tense and offered me some Busopan to relieve the cramping, but I turned it down. I did take the warm cherry pit pillow they gave me for my back. She also suggested that I take a warm shower to help relieve the back pain since I was having back labor. I wanted to try acupuncture, but the midwife who did that was busy with someone else and I would have to wait. The two tubs were also in use so the shower was my only option. I took to the shower and stayed there for about 30 min. letting the warm water fall on my back, and all the while swaying back and forth. The warm water did wonders for relieving the pain and I didn´t notice the contractions as much until my husband called me to get out of the shower because the midwife wanted to talk to me about the acupuncture and check me again.

As soon as I got out of the shower the contractions really started coming and it was all I could do to put my robe on and lie down on the bed. The midwife put me on the monitor, checked my cervix and announced that I was at 4cm. The contraction were coming on strong and coming every three minutes. I had no control of anything at that point, and the contractions just seem to take over. After about 5-10min they started coming every 1.5 minutes and I told Mr. Lillysaur to ring for the midwife so I could get some pain relief. I couldn´t imagine this pain going on for several more hours. She came and said I could have some pain relief but that the Dr. would have to come put the IV line in. She went and got the doctor who came a couple of minutes later. It was work for her to get the IV line in because the contractions were coming one on top of each other at this point. I still hadn´t gotten any pain relief yet, and I felt so wrenched by the contractions that I was pretty sure none of the standard IV stuff would help, so I asked for an epidural. The doctor said it would be fine and that she would send the anesthesiologist to talk to me and then put it in. I immediately announced that I felt tremendous pressure in my bowels and that I needed to go to the bathroom. I also said I really felt the urge to push which got them all looking funny. The doctor asked the midwife to check me, and she responded that she had just checked me about five minutes before and that I had only been at 4cm. I felt the overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom, and decided it would be a good idea just to try and go...I pushed mightely and my water game gushing out. That really got the Dr.´s and midwife´s attention. The midwife checked me and announced with great surprise that I was fully dialated, and that when I pushed she could see the top of the babies head...Things really picked up from there and I was ordered to start panting until they could get me into the delivery room. I was in the delivery room five minutes later, and after three pushes my sweet girl Frances was born. She came into the world screaming, recieved 10´s on her apgars, and weighed a whopping 6.6lbs and was 19 inches long.

We are home and are enjoying every minute of getting to know our little girl. I feel so incredibly blessed that she is finally here and that she is healthy. She came almost exactly three years to the date of my first miscarriage.

My Happy Ending

WARNING: This could get lengthy! (I started writing this several weeks ago and have had no time to finish. I am determined to share the story of how the little guy who was due to arrive November 4th, came home over two weeks early!)

In my last post I wrote about a Dr.'s apt. that I had on the 12th of October. I was admitted as an outpatient that day and had a slew of tests run to make sure that "Baby" was thriving, and he was. That following Friday, the 15th, I was told to go in for a blood pressure check at our small town clinic where they discovered that my blood pressure was continuing to rise. I was sent home (back to bed rest), put on some BP medication and asked to again do a 24 hour urine sample on Sunday.

Monday the 18th of October....

I got up that morning feeling really frustrated. The BP medication they had put me on was creating a whole new set of problems. While it was lowering my BP, it was also causing me to black out! I wasn't comfortable with that and decided to stop taking it on Sunday. (I knew there was no way I could take the medicine before driving myself to my Dr.'s apt. Monday morning.)

I handed in my urine sample which they tested while I was there and my protein count had doubled since the week before. My BP was once again elevated since I'd stopped taking the meds, I had gained a few more pounds and the swelling hadn't gotten any better. My Dr. suggested that we go ahead and start discussing my induction at that point. I asked a ton of questions and at the end of my appointment asked when I should come back to have my "Baby"... that's when the Dr. said that we should go ahead and do it that day.

I was a little surprised but after she explained to me that sending me home could only complicate things that much more, I decided that I needed to do what was not only best for "Baby" but for Mommy too! My husband had stayed at work since he was really busy and I truly thought if we were going to get induced, that it wouldn't be for a few days. I called him after they had admitted me and gave instructions of what to pack in the bag since I was planning on doing that that afternoon. He was really surprised too!

They began giving me pitocin around 10:30 am. When the Dr. had checked me that morning I was at a 3 so she was confident that the pitocin would get things started with no problem and it did. She came back and broke my water at noon and shortly after that my husband arrived.

The contractions were really intense from the start. I was very ready for my epidural when the time came to get it done. Since my contractions were a minute apart, it took a lot longer to get my epidural started then it had when I had DS. I was never comfortable enough to rest (much less sleep) and while the epi took the edge off, it didn't completely take the pain away like I remember from my first delivery.

Things went much faster this time around as I had expected they would. Every time the Dr. came in to check me I had gotten further along, no stalling or stopping took place that day and by 4:30 pm I was at a 10 and ready to push. The Dr. came in, the nurses set up the "Baby" station and I began what took a mere 20 minutes of pushing. At one point during labor the nurse asked me to lie on my right side because the "Baby's" heart rate was all over the place. When he was born the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and one of his little feet... which was what was causing his heart rate to be all over the board.

He came into the world screaming, turned a beautiful shade of pink almost immediately and latched on like a pro after only a few minutes! I nursed him for awhile and when I had finished they checked him all over and handed him back to us. After a very long wait, we finally had the perfect little boy we'd been waiting for!

My blood pressure stabilized almost immediately after delivery, my carpal tunnel has disappeared, the swelling is gone and I've shaved off several pounds. I feel much better now that he is here and safe. Other than a "UTI" I feel almost back to my normal self again. I don't get much done other than nursing, pumping and changing diapers but I wouldn't have it any other way!

"Baby Craftysaur" or Maddox as we like to call him is almost 4 weeks old now. He is growing like a weed and developing quite a little personality! DS is absolutely in love with him and has been so sweet and gentle. We look forward to watching the boys grow up together and feel so blessed to finally have a sibling for our oldest son. It's been a long road from TTC, to the miscarriages, to the finally positive HPT that ended in a happy ending! Looking back I wouldn't change a thing! Sometimes the best gifts are worth the wait and in this case he definitely was!

So here I am ending my final post. I appreciate every one's kind and encouraging words along the way. I will continue to follow along in the rest of your journeys and continue to pray that each of you receive the happy ending you are all working so hard for!
Best of luck to you all... Craftysaur

Wonder Where I've Been?

If you are wondering where I've been... this should explain it all!

I will blog all about him as soon as I get a chance!

My twins have arrived!

I'm SO sorry it's taken me so long to post this! The twins are now exactly four weeks old, and it's been a crazy time - things are only now settling down enough for me to take the time to write their birth story.

At 2pm on April 20, I turned up at the hospital for my induction - by 4pm I had an internal exam confirming I wasn't dilated or effaced at all, and given my first Cervidil treatment. I was startled at how quickly it took effect; I was having contractions within 10 minutes, and after half an hour, they were only 2 minutes apart. The next 6 hours passed in a blur of pain - the only relief I found was in standing or sitting in a warm shower...I spent HOURS in that water!

By 10pm the contractions were strong enough and close enough together that the nurse and I were hopeful that I wouldn't need a second dose of Cervidil, but no such luck - another internal exam showed I was only barely dilated (possibly around 1cm) and still not at all effaced. I nearly started crying - the last 6 hours had been so painful that the idea of dealing with those contractions for another 6 hours was agonizing.

I was given the second dose of Cervidil and also offered a pethidine injection, which I gratefully accepted; I was exhausted from the rapid contractions and worried that when the time came for me to actually push I'd be too tired - the injection allowed me to relax and catnap for a little while. After half an hour or so, I got up for yet another shower, and when I stepped inside I felt warm fluid gushing down my leg - my water had broken. I nearly cried with relief, thankful for the confirmation that labor was progressing.

Five hours of painful contractions later, I was exhausted and begging for more pain relief, and another internal exam showed that I was finally 5cm dilated and ready to move to the delivery room! At that point, I'd been having agonizing contractions that were only 1-2 minutes apart for 11 hours and I was exhausted, so when I was offered an epidural, I didn't hesitate to say yes. The actual process of getting the epidural was a bit difficult - the anesthesiologist didn't get the placement correct the first time and had to re-do it - meanwhile, I was in severe pain and trying desperately to keep still during the contractions. The end result though? BLISS. I wasn't numb from the waist down like I expected - in fact, I could still feel everything and even move on my own - but it took the pain away and let me rest for a while.

(Side story: when you get an epidural, you're warned of the possible - though fairly unlikely - side effect of an epidural headache. Pay attention to this! That first failed epidural ended up giving me one, and it was one of the most stunningly painful experiences of my life. I honestly can’t describe just how bad it is…it’s like a incredibly severe migraine, but in addition to photosensitivity, etc., there's positional sensitivity as well – I could just barely tolerate life if I stayed flat on the bed, but the instant I tried to tilt my head upwards it was like getting smacked in the brain with an axe. I was completely incapacitated for two days before the problem was fixed with an epidural blood patch, and ended up being in the hospital for a total of seven days from the start of my induction to my final discharge.)

Eight long hours and several internal exams later, I started feeling tremendous pressure in addition to the pain from the contractions (the epidural was more or less completely worn off by this point). My doctor had told me to let her know if I experienced a pressure that felt like I needed to poop, but this was different - it felt like I needed to pee. I told the nurse and she asked if I felt a need to push. "Not really," I replied, "Just like I really, REALLY have to pee." When the pressure didn't let up over the course of another 15 minutes or so, I finally asked them to do another internal exam. I was convinced the pressure meant things had progressed, even if it was in the "wrong" place - and sure enough, I was 10cm dilated, fully effaced, the first twin was making his way down the birth canal, and it was time to push!

And push I did, for an hour and a half. And nothing. Nada. The baby wasn't moving at all. At one stage I had two doctors and three nurses staring at my nether regions to make sure I was pushing efficiently and effectively, and I was - but that little boy was stubbornly refusing to negotiate the final curve of the birth canal. By this stage I was incredibly exhausted and in an immense amount of pain but since the twins were still doing fine, my doctors offered to give me another small dose of the epidural to give me a chance to rest and regroup for another try. 45 minutes later, the dose was starting to wear off, and we were ready for round two.

For the better part of an hour, I gave it my all. I'd been put on a Pitocin drip to try to help increase the strength of my contractions and push the babies out, but by the end of round two even that was failing - my body was so exhausted from 19 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing that my contractions were starting to slow and weaken, even with the drugs pushing them along. Clearly, something had to give.

My lead doctor came and stood by my head. "We can keep going if you want," she said. "Your babies are still doing OK - their heartbeats are fine and neither are in distress. However, you're pretty exhausted and I honestly don't think you will be able to push these babies out. If you want, we can try to help with vacuum extraction, but I don't think it will be very effective and it may cause them to go into distress. You've given this a very good try, but at this point I'd like to recommend a c-section."

I stared at her through a fog of pain and exhaustion. A c-section? I'd known from the beginning that there was a good chance I'd need one with twins, but I'd been so hopeful that I'd be able to have a vaginal birth. I turned and looked at Mr Bibliosaur. We didn't really need to discuss it - we'd already talked about this in the weeks leading up to this moment and agreed that we would do whatever was necessary to have a good outcome with two healthy babies...so if that was a c-section, then so be it. We looked at each other for a moment before I quietly nodded and he nodded back at me. I turned back to my doctor - "OK. We'll do the c-section."

Things were a hectic blur from that point. The doctor left immediately to make sure an operating room was ready, and the nurses rushed to get me prepared. A short time later, I was lying on an operating table getting a massive epidural dose and Mr Bibliosaur had been taken away to scrub up - I was nearly frantic with nerves by the time he returned. The actual surgery was faster than I imagined - it seemed like only a minute or two before my doctor was holding up the first crying twin and asking Mr Bibliosaur if we had a name picked out. "William," my husband beamed, "His name is William." "And this one?" the doctor asked, pulling out the second boy. "Dash. That's Dashiell."

I started crying with happiness when the nurses brought them over so I could see them. I could barely believe it - Will and Dash were finally here!

The stats:
William John
6lbs, 12oz
20 inches
Born April 21, 2010 at 3.40pm

Dashiell Thomas
6lbs, 8oz
19.5 inches
Born April 21, 2010 at 3.42pm

The boys on their birthday:

Will is on the left, Dash is on the right.

13 days old:

Dash is on the left, Will is on the right.

17 days old:

Dash is on the left, Will is on the right.

24 days old:

Yours truly and my boys: Will is on the left, Dash is on the right.

My journey through trying to conceive and pregnancy has been an amazing experience, and I've been honored and privileged to share it with you all. I can't thank you enough for your support, encouragement and advice - I don't know what I'd have done without this blog as a place to vent my worries and celebrate my good news. Mr Bibliosaur and I have had our share of ups and downs over the last month as we grow accustomed to our new role as parents, but I'm humbled and amazed that I am the mother of these two gorgeous and perfect little boys.

I'm intending to keep blogging over at Littlesaur, and I hope you'll follow me there - raising twin boys is going to be one hell of a ride!

Note to Self: Expect the Unexpected

Welcome to the world Baby Gavin!

Sorry this is so late, but the recovery from the little man's birth was a little more than I anticipated. Actually, more specifically breastfeeding was WAY more than I expected.

Gavin was born on April 24 at 9:53pm weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 14 ounces. How he made it here is the long part of the story.

My water broke at about 3am on the morning of the 22, and I freaked out told my husband, called my midwife, and proceeded to wait. I cleaned the house and when there was nothing happening at the end of that I went to bed. The next morning there was still no action so I went to an appointment with my midwife to check my progress at 1pm that day. I was about 2cm dilated and soft, but nothing really going on. Here I thought I might be one of those people who could dilate without really feeling much! My water had broken, and no one really tells you that you keep making amniotic fluid so you have to wear a pad and change it constantly to stay dry and comfortable.... weird.

At the advice of my midwife we bought some tinctures called blue and black cohosh to kickstart my contractions. Definitely some of the grossest tasting stuff I have ever tasted. Every fifteen minutes for three hours, but as nasty as it was I guess it worked because by 1am I was having contractions about every 8min and by 3am about every 5 or 6 minutes. I watched tv, showered, bathed, and tried to just relax as much as possible until they got really hard and closer together around 8am. My midwife came to the house around 10 and unfortunately there still really wasn't alot of progress... that was when I started to have nagging thoughts that maybe I really wasn't strong enough to do this. She suggested walking, stretching my legs and pelvis, and by then I was in so much pain I could hard ungrit my teeth let alone start exercising!

I did the best I could and like everyone always says it's almost impossible to describe the contractions. To me it felt like waves of pain that build to a peak and then slowly subside. It was hard for me to breathe and my husband did an amazing job of making sure I drank water and breathed through as much as I could. Now this is the part where I don't want to make this sound like a negative experience to anyone who hasn't done it, so I will make sure I mention what my midwife told me. My labour was "unproductive" labour and that has a very different feeling from productive labour, so please take what I describe with a grain of salt. The baby's position was posterior and wouldn't turn so his head was essentially butting into my cervix at exactly the wrong position.

At around 2:30pm I was done. I couldn't breathe anymore and I could barely think I was in so much pain. I felt like I had to "do" something to regain control. I told my husband we have to go to the hospital. I wasn't even sure that I wanted pain relief I just wanted to change my environment so that I feel like there was some progress. When we got to the hospital, I was quite the sight, I had tried to put makeup on at some point, but naturally it had worn off, and I was wearing my Lulu's, my husband's Led Zeppelin t shirt, and a big red fleece blanket over my shoulders. HOT.

At the hospital my second mom was working which was amazing. If she hadn't been there already I would have called her to come in. She was one of my biggest supports. She took one look at me and said, "come with me honey, I 'll fix you right up." She gave me a shot of Fentanyl to take the edge off and it was just enough to start thinking clearly again. My midwife checked me and I remember saying, I can keep going indefinitely if I am at least 5 and a half cm. I was 4-5, 'nough said.

They hooked me up to monitors and the baby's heartrate was insanely high in the 180's which meant that both the baby and I had gotten an infection from my water being broken for about 36 hours at the time. There was also a lack of variability.

My contractions weren't regular either, and as soon as they said it I knew exactly what was next. The first of many interventions... just what I wanted to avoid.

Oxytocin was hooked up, and the epidural was next. I knew that if I had to get oxytocin the contractions that were already unbearable would become even more so and closer together. Great., Another intervention.

I was much happier after that but I couldn't help thinking how much I had failed myself already. I truly thought I would be tough, tougher than that anyway.

At my next internal I still had made zero progress even after the oxytocin had been kicked into high gear. It was extremely disappointing. My epidural started to wear off and I could feel almost constant pain in my lower left abdomen. I was beginning to worry.

Then around 8pm at another check it happened. Meconium. The last straw. I knew what that meant. My favorite nurse and second mom just left the room without saying anything, and my midwife just told me and simply said, "I'm so sorry." I knew it meant c- section. The ob arrived to check me yet again and confirmed it. The baby and I both had an infection, the baby's position was posterior, the oxytocin wasn't working, my cervix was stuck at 5cm and swollen already, the epidural had stopped working, and now meconium. The doctor said that the baby was stressed but not IN distress, YET. So i had a decision to make did I want to continue until the baby was in distress or I delivered naturally... or a c section. I thought about it for as long as I had time and asked a million questions, and he was amazing. Finally, I asked for his personal opinion and he said he couldn't do that, but my midwife told me after he left that if it were her she would. She said she felt that the baby was more stressed than he did and that I had already labored for 12 hours with very little progress. She said that it would be hard to keep going and then push without risking the health of the baby. So I cried. I talked to my husband and we decided that it was necessary to go the route of the c section to avoid any further complications.

I was prepped and at just before ten they told my husband that he could look at the baby's head if he wanted. I was having alot of trouble during the operation. The spinal worked in the same way the epidural had so I kept trying to tell them that I could feel what they were doing. I felt like I was going to throw up any second and my nose plugged up. I had such a dry mouth that it was hard to breathe and I remember just begging them for some water or ice or anything. When the baby came out I did get tears in my eyes, but almost immediately I just felt so sick that I couldn't even focus my eyes. They tried to give me the baby but my arms and fingers were numb and I felt like I was going to drop him. They took him away to weigh him and my husband went with the baby. I didn't even care what was going on around me at that point I just wanted the sickness and pain to stop.

I had a huge coughing fit and needed to be sedated in order for them to finish closing me up especially because I was able to feel.

After they told me that even the c section hadn't gone smoothly because the baby had shoulder distocia, and was very difficult to get out of my tummy. Not to mention how BIG he was!

I am only writing what really happened here because I have so many mixed up feelings about it all. I really thought my baby's birth was going to be different. I really thought it was going to be beautiful, and I did everything I possibly could to avoid what ended up happening anyway. So forgive me, but it feels like I'm healing some of it by writing it all down. My midwife put it into perspective by saying, "if this were 100 years ago it would have been a labour that would have probably lasted five days and ended with the death of both you and the baby." Thank you modern medicine. The ob said, " this baby would never have come out vaginally with all the complications." Those two statements helped me see that although I tried everything I could to avoid it- it was impossible, and we are both healthy and happy, and that's all I should really be asking for.

Gavin is incredibly healthy and has no lasting effects from the Meconium or anything. He is a darling baby boy, and now that my milk finally came in we are working with each other really well. The first few days were so hard when I didn't have milk and was trying to avoid formula, but now I feel confident that I have what I need to take care of him.

His father loves him to pieces, and our families are absolutely enamoured by him. I am a little bit in awe of the experience and can't wait to see each and every milestone he hits. I know it won't be easy all the time, but there are rewards each and every day that outweigh the tough spots. I feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life and the experience of his birth has certainly humbled me.

I really wanted to add a picture, but they aren't on this computer so I will have to add one as soon as I can. I hope everyone is doing well and, again, sorry about the lateness of this post. I didn't anticipate how long it would take to feel comfortable managing everything long enough to write this enormous post.

xoxo

Birth Story for Sophie

I wrote this birth story for Sophie's baby book. It lacks a lot of the numbers and time details, but it's her story and I think it's a beautiful one.

Little Sophie it must have been very nice inside Mommy because you did not want to leave the comfort of my belly. Your due date, March 24, 2010, came and went without any sign of your arrival. A week and a half later you were still hanging out inside Mommy so our doctor set a date for you to finally be induced. Your birthday was going to be April 2, 2010. On April 1, 2010 your Granny and Aunt Lexi arrived from Florida and Mommy was there at the airport to pick them up. Lexi came in first and Granny followed shortly after. While Aunt Lexi and I were waiting for Granny to get in I started to feel some very minor contractions. Since I wasn’t in any pain, we continued on and met Daddy for a sushi dinner once Granny got in. After dinner Mommy dropped Granny and Lexi off at their hotel so that we could all get some rest before the big day. Daddy and I headed home and just as we got into bed for the night I felt my water break. Daddy called the doctor and he wanted us to come in right away. Mommy called to let Granny and Lexi know that the show was starting earlier than expected. We were all excited that you finally wanted to arrive. Daddy and I checked into the Labor and Delivery unit and were taken to a room. Once I got changed and answered a bunch of questions we got started. Our first nurse wasn’t able to get my IV started and Mommy had to be stuck 3 times before the IV was finally placed. My antibiotics were started so that we would both be Group B Strep free when you were born. Usually after your water breaks contractions start on their own. For some reason I decided to not start contracting after my water broke. The doctors and nurses gave me an hour or so before starting the Pitocin to see if I would start, but I never did. The Pitocin was started and the dose was increased every thirty minutes. Neither one of us enjoyed the Pitocin. It made Mommy’s contractions very strong and pretty close together. You didn’t like the Pitocin either. The nurses had to either turn off the Pitocin or turn it down because you couldn’t tolerate it. After tolerating as much as I could on my own, I requested pain medication. The first medication that they gave me, Stadol, helped to ease the pain slightly. I got a second dose of Stadol and was in the process of requesting a third dose when they decided that I should get an epidural. I was still only 1cm dilated and about 75% effaced at that point even though I had been laboring for several hours. I wasn’t scared of getting an epidural like I’ve heard some people are. It took three anesthesiologists and six sticks before they finally got the epidural in place. It was worth every stick in my opinion. The epidural was amazing once it was finally in and working. It was at that point that I was able to relax and sleep and that’s when you started moving down and I started dilating more. Several hours after the epidural was placed we were ready to start pushing. After 20 hours of labor, we worked together for another hour and a half before you were finally laid on my chest and screamed your little heart out. Daddy, Granny, and Lexi were all there in the room with me to witness your first breath of life. Little Sophie, your entrance into this world was not the easiest thing that I’ve ever done, but having you here and being able to kiss your sweet little cheeks makes it all worth while. You are the most precious little girl and your daddy and I are so excited that you are finally here with us. We’re looking forward to watching you grow into the amazing person that you are going to be and helping to guide you through life.

Here are a few pictures of our little doll.

Pregnancy as well as labor and delivery weren't exactly what I thought they were going to be. The good times were finding out that we were pregnant, the ultrasounds and feeling the babys kicks, but there was also a whole lot more pain and discomfort than I expected. The end result made it all worthwhile though. Life with a newborn is crazy, exciting, tiring, and exhilarating. Little Sophie is my first priority right now which is why I'm making this my last Pregosaur post. I will still be reading and cheering on all of you that are still pregnant and/or trying to conceive. This has been an amazing journey and I thank all of you for letting me share my experiences with you.

-Mrs. Luckysaur

Meet Baby Citysaur!

Introducing Benjamin James, aka Baby Citysaur. Born 3/10/10 at 6:24 PM. Weighing in at 7 lbs 15oz, 20 1/4 inches long.

I mentioned in my last post that our midwife wanted us to kick start labor on Wednesday...well kick start we certainly did! We started out at 8:45 AM with her stripping my membranes. Then we did some nipple stimulation and took an hour power walk. At 11:30 AM, the midwife broke my water. We did more walking as we went out to have lunch and gather our bags at home, then back to the birth center. By the time we arrived back at the birth center at 1:30 PM, I was having contractions that were 2 minutes apart and was most definitely in labor!

Not the most flattering picture of me, but here we are, in the early part of active labor, just after arriving at the birth center. I did not look this good as the day progressed!

I won't go into the whole, explicitly detailed birth story, but I'll summarize from here. I labored for about 3 hours before pushing, exploring various positions including the birth ball, the shower, the tub, and hanging off the bedpost. About 4:30 or so, I went to the bathroom at the suggestion of the birth assistant, and I started to feel the urge to push. Pushing lasted about two hours, and was the most exhausting part of the experience. The only downside to not going into spontaneous labor was that Ben hadn't quite descended, so I had to work extra hard at getting him down. That part was difficult, because every time I'd make progress during a contraction, he'd slip back when I went to rest in between.

Eventually, after pushing for a while in the tub and hanging off the bedpost, I got into the bed to conserve energy. I almost had to go back to the bedpost, but when I realized they were about to make me get out of bed, I gave it everything I had, and he began to crown. And that's when things got serious.

Ben came out with the cord wrapped tightly around his neck. He was fine until right at the end, when his heart rate plummeted. When the midwife looked at me and said that we had to get him out now, and that I had to push without the help of a contraction, I knew she meant business. Even though I was beyond the point of exhaustion, I found the strength to get him out fast. They cut and clamped the cord from around his neck as soon as he crowned, and then a few pushes later, he was born. Daddy got to catch him, and he put Ben on my belly, but a split second later, the midwife whisked him away to the resuscitation table to work on him. He was born in distress - white as a sheet, depressed heart rate, elevated breathing and low body temperature. Daddy helped the midwife, and after 45 long minutes, he was finally up to snuff. They placed him on my belly and I fell in love!

Family portrait...that's my mom (Ben's Nana) in the pink, and my father in the picture. He couldn't be with us physically, but he was definitely there in spirit!

I want to say thank you to everyone who has followed my pregnancy journey here. I've really appreciated the support, and I've enjoyed sharing everything with you all. I don't want to say this is my last post ever (because I may still have a few things to wrap up as I gather my thoughts in the next few weeks)...and perhaps I shall continue on Littlesaur? Time will tell, I suppose!

Here she is!

Technically speaking today would have been my fortieth week post...today is Libby's EDD. But instead of wishing and hoping for labor to begin, I am writing this with a sleepy five-day-old Libby sleeping on my chest in her baby wrap carrier (our DIY Moby). She's been breast feeding like a champ since she was 2 minutes old. My milk came in yesterday and instead of feeding every 45-60 minutes we are enjoying a good feeding session followed by 2-3 hours of angelic sleep!



Born January 25, 2010 at 7:04 p.m.
8 lbs., 4 oz. and 19.75 inches long

So, without further ado...here's my recollection of her birth story. My doula is writing one for us too and I'll be sure to post it once I get it from her, since my details are a little fuzzy.

01.24.10
Day before the induction. I spent a lot of time meditating and visualizing a safe and happy birth for me and for Libby. I did have some anxiety about what was to come the next day and let the tears come freely. I got a massage that evening and slept more soundly than I had in months!

01.25.10
3:30 a.m. - awoke...showered and had a light breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast.

5:00 a.m. - report to hospital





6:00 a.m. - I changed into my birthing attire...a cotton sarong (bought a few yards of fabric, washed it and finished the edges with the sewing machine) and a hook-front, cotton tank bra (similar to a sports bra...it's by Leading Lady® ). I was adamant not to wear the scratchy hospital gown. I hate wearing nightgowns and wasn't going to do it just because I was in the hospital! Pitocin started - 2 cm



First and only bare belly shot

7:30 a.m. - Mild contractions start and the doctor ruptured my membranes. It was the oddest sensation ever...warm liquid just gushed forth. I was up and laboring on the birthing ball, standing over the bedside and getting counter pressure on my back from my mom and doula and sat on the bed in a "throne" position (the back up as high as possible and the foot of the bed dropped down so I could sit with my feet on the lower portion.) I breathed through the contractions as they came and chatted when they weren't there. We had mellow music on in the back ground and the mood was light.

12:00 p.m. - Contractions had increased in intensity and I was having tons of back labor. Baby was obviously still face up. I was checked and thinking that by now I surely must be closer to 5 cm. They said 3 cm and 80% effaced and I was pretty upset that this is all I had progressed. They increased the Pitocin and I started to cry and express my doubts about being able to continue without pain medication.

3:30 p.m. - I was laboring with intense contractions. At this point they were 60-90 seconds long and coming every 1-2 minutes. I had my eyes closed and asked that the overhead lights be turned off.I was sure that I must be close to 5 cm by now! I was checked and told that I was 4 cm and still not very thinned. The contractions were becoming unbearable because my legs were spasming with each one. So as I was trying to relax and breath my legs were clamping closed and almost "seizing"...I was shaking uncontrollably.

4:15 p.m. - The next 45 minutes (between 3:30-4:15 p.m.) was rough. Despite doing my best to stay with my breathing and coping techniques,I couldn't get on top of them because my legs were just taking over my body and not allowing me to relax. After much struggle, I finally begged for the epidural. It seemed like an eternity before I got it. I worked through another 15 minutes of hard contractions and then I finally got it. I have to say, it wasn't scary like I imagined and it felt like a dream...my legs stopped quivering enough for me to sleep for an hour.

5:30 p.m. - After an incredibly deep sleep, I was finally 7 cm and fully dilated...my legs still continued to tremble with every contraction, but I felt no pain! Upper body starts shaking though with each contraction so I still know when they're coming!




My mom, husband and I just before pushing began.

6:15 p.m. - Time to push! Worked with the awesome nurse of the day to "practice push" until the doctor arrived. The "practice" ones were easy and she crowned immediately. No pain, just pressure, which I was glad to have the sensation to know what I was doing. Doctor arrived and in 4 pushes (I did 4 sets of breathe and push for 4 times each, I wanted her OUT!)





My husband and doula watching the baby being born. They were both tearing up!
7:04 p.m. - Libby was born! They put her on my chest immediately and within minutes she was latched on and nursing. She knew exactly what to do. It was amazing.

Our first family photo just seconds after Libby was born.

From here the details get very blurry for me. I had a very tough 3rd stage and lost a lot of blood. They worked on me for 45 minutes. My placenta came out swiftly but with some was retained (doctor doesn't think so) or a piece of my uterine lining came out with it. Apparently there were buckets of fresh blood being removed as well as being mopped off the floor. I remember none of this (no one was panicked or saying things that sounded urgent). I do remember the look on our doula's face and that my mom and Joseph took Libby to the warmer and were tending to her. Now I know they were distracting themselves from seeing me bleeding. I am fuzzy on these details but there was my doctor and the nurse, both inside of me with tools scraping my lining and massaging my uterus. It was very intense and it made me projectile vomit (imagine the Heimlich from within)! My blood pressure dropped to 84/43. They administered some shot of medicine in my leg and I heard the Doctor say, "800 of Cytotec"...

Anyway, long story short...they got my uterus to finally tighten up. It took about 45 minutes - hour. After that I am not sure what happened. I did have Libby back on my breast. And then I slept, I think. I awoke and the epi was out, etc. I am not sure how long that was...it was around 9 p.m. or so. I did have one fainting spell in the bathroom but other than that, I was stable and pretty much "back to normal" by 11 p.m. I had a grilled cheese sandwich and french fries! They were delicious!

So in the end...I was incredibly grateful to be in hospital. I did have the vaginal birth I wanted and labored without pain meds fror 12 hours. Ultimately, the epidural was the right choice...it allowed Libby to be born quickly and also enabled me to get through that horrible stage three scenario. Had I not had the epi I would have been rushed to the OR and fully sedated. And had they not been able to stop the bleeding my doctor said the only option was to have my uterus removed! Very scary stuff.

But all in all...I have no real memory of that and I feel great. Libby is so wonderful...she's a fantastic nurser and basically has been teaching me what to do. Mr. Divasaur has been so hands on with her and we're making a great team.

Thanks to all of your 'Saurs and blog followers for all of the wonderful support...from before we decided to TTC and all the way through this pregnancy as well as L&D! You are the best!

Baby Chocosaur!

I've been a really delinquent Pregosaur... I had my baby in November but things have been so busy for us, adjusting to life with a newborn, that I've been meaning to blog about her birth but just never got around to it. So, without further ado, here's how our little baby Chocosaur made her entrance into this world...

On November 6th (39 weeks, 2 days) I had an Ob appointment and my cervix was "soft" but I still wasn't dilated. We discussed a possible induction on either November 12th (40 weeks, 1 day) or November 16th (40 weeks, 5 days) because the doctor did not want me going beyond 41 weeks. She had me come back on the 10th and based on that visit, we were going to decide what to do. On the 10th I went in and she told me that I was now a fingertip dilated but the baby hadn't dropped all the way.

Honestly, there was a lot of temptation to go ahead and schedule the induction for the 12th because at that point I was just done being pregnant. I was huge and uncomfortable, had trouble sleeping, and I was just eager to meet my little one! That said, I really wanted what was best for the baby so I put my feelings aside and we decided that we would try to give her at least a little more time before inducing. The nurses had already scheduled us for a November 12th induction at the hospital to hold a spot, but we simply rescheduled it for November 16th, hoping the baby would come in her own time before then.

Later that night after my appointment, I started having contractions. I always wondered during my pregnancy how I would know when I was having real contractions. I had heard that real contractions are painful, and that "you'll just know." I hate to also say it, but you really do "just know" when you start feeling them because they are very intense and mild to moderately painful.

My contractions were coming 5 minutes apart and lasted for 90 minutes. (The doctor had said to call if they lasted for longer than 60 minutes, but given how many contractions I had in the past, I thought I would give it more time.) So when I finally hit the 90 minute mark I figured I should call the doctor and let her know. Of course as soon as I went to grab the phone, the contractions started to go away. I was still having them, but at sporadic intervals...every 6-10 minutes with no clear pattern of progression. So I decided to just wait it out until morning to call. When I called, they said just to come in to get checked so we came in as a walk in appointment. The office was packed and we waited for over an hour to be seen. I was still having contractions at this point, but only every 10-15 minutes or so. After a long wait, I was put in an exam room and the doctor finally came in and checked me - I was still just a fingertip dilated - nothing had changed from the previous day. So they sent me home to wait some more. I was so sure that they were going to say I was at least 2 cm dilated, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

So I went home and went about my day as usual. Around 6pm, I started having contractions again. Again, these were very sporadic, but there was a definite period of time where they were 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. But again, they tapered off and started coming in different time intervals again so I decided to just sit through them. Before going to bed, I showed Mr. Chocosaur the log I was keeping of contractions that night and asked him if he thought I should call the doctor again - he said no, since they were all over the place like the were the previous night. So I went to bed, or tried to get some sleep at least. I never did fall asleep - I had been having trouble falling asleep for quite some time from just being so big and uncomfortable. Add some contractions to the mix and I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep. Then the contractions started to become more painful. I had stopped timing them but they suddenly felt like they were pretty frequent so I started timing them again. This time, they were coming every 2 minutes. Because they were so intense and coming so close together, I decided to call the on-call doctor to find out if I should come in or if I should see if these last for at least an hour (at this point they had only been coming for about 15 minutes). The on-call doctor told me to go drink a bunch of water and get hydrated, then wait and see if they would continue to last for a full hour. If they did, he wanted me to call back and then they would have to go in to the hospital. This was at around 11:30pm on the 11th. I got off the phone with him and then proceeded to go downstairs to get some water. At the bottom of the stairs, I felt a small gush. Nothing huge, in fact it felt very similar to other points in the pregnancy where some discharge would come out. In the past, I had thought my water was breaking but went to the bathroom to check, only find it was normal pregnancy discharge. So this time, when I went to check, I was actually surprised to see that underwear wet with no discharge present - and when I wiped, it was bright red blood. It was a small amount of fluid though, so I wasn't sure if this was actually my water breaking or if it was "bloody show."

So I called the doctor back and told him I wasn't sure if my water broke or if it was bloody show - he didn't really answer my question. He simply said, "Well, if your water broke, you should go in." I was a little annoyed by this but was glad that it was late enough in the night that I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be doing my delivery. So, I went and got my hospital bag, packed up the last of the toiletries that I had held off on packing, and we were at the hospital by about 12:30am (about 1 hour after my water broke). When I went to the admissions desk, they recognized my name and asked, "Weren't you supposed to be here tonight for an induction?" I smiled and told her that I was, but that we had decided to reschedule the induction to give the baby more time to come on her own.

Once I was admitted, a nurse came in to check on me. I was still just a fingertip dilated (I couldn't believe it!) and the nurse wasn't sure if my water actually broke or not because she said she had trouble feeling my bag of waters. She said it could have also been the bloody show, but couldn't say for sure. But they went ahead and hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor, took some blood, and started my IV. The nurse told me to get ready for a very long night, because first time moms tend to have very long labors. At this point, Mr. Chocosaur and my mom decided to go home and get some sleep and return in the morning. Before leaving, my hubby told me to try and get some rest - I told him there was no way I was getting any sleep while I was having painful contractions every 2 minutes!!

The nurse told me that I could get the epidural at any time I wanted it. I asked her how much it would slow down the labor and she said it would slow it down some, but not a lot. The nurse also informed me that if your water breaks, the contractions tend to be much stronger than if it has not. I tried really hard to deal with the pain for as long as possible, but with the contractions coming every 2 minutes and hours of labor ahead of me, I finally asked for the epidural around 3:30am. The nurse told me she'd just call and wake up the anesthesiologist and I'd feel better in no time. It didn't make me feel great that he'd be tapping into my spine minutes after waking up, but what choice did I have?

The anesthesiologist came quickly and then they had me sit up in bed with my legs dangling over the edge. I always thought that epidurals were administered while you were laying on your side (like a spinal tap) but I guess not. I was terrified about what it would feel like but it wasn't too bad. The worst part was having to sit still while he was doing it even though I was having contractions. They don't pause while you have the contractions, they just keep going. The nurse told me to lean over the edge of the bed with my back hunched over and cross my arms and breathe through the contractions but they were so painful I had to take my arms and brace her shoulders to get through it. The lidocaine stung a bit going in and when he went to give me the epidural I could still feel it going in! I screamed and he stopped; then he casually said, "I guess we're going to need some more lidocaine." After the second injection of lidocaine I did not feel any pain as he inserted it, but I did feel some pressure. There was another brief moment of pain as he did things. I have no idea what all he did but at one point he said, "You're going to feel a back cramp now, totally normal," and when I yelped he said, "good, that's what we want." Ha! Shortly thereafter, the drugs started to kick in and all the pain from the contractions was gone... it was wonderful. I could still feel slight pressure from each contraction, but all the pain was gone. This was around 3:45am. From then on, I was able to doze in and out of sleep. I wasn't ever able to get any really good sleep, as the nurse kept coming in to check on me, adjust my monitors, etc. Plus the blood pressure cuff was checking my blood pressure every 10 or 15 minutes and it would wake me up.

Around 6am the nurse called my Ob who was thankfully on-call that day - this is why we had scheduled the induction on the 12th in the first place. She wanted to go ahead and augment my labor with pitocin because once your water breaks, you need to deliver within 24 hours or else the risk of infection gets really high. So the nurse came in around 6:30am and checked my cervix one more time before starting the pitocin. I was 2 cm dilated (finally), so at least I was progressing a little bit. At this point, the pad they had put under me was soaked and there was meconium in it so the nurse said that it was definitely my water that had broken and wasn't just bloody show earlier. I was a little worried at this point due to the meconium being in the amniotic fluid - the whole reason we had discussed induction was to decrease the risk of meconium aspiration which goes up after 41 weeks. There was nothing we could do about it though, except wait and see.

So they started the pitocin in my IV - I couldn't really feel any difference in the contractions but from there on out, I was happy to see that I was progressing exactly as I should be. By 7:30am I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. By 10am I was 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. By noon I was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced but the baby had not totally dropped so the Ob was concerned about that. If she didn't drop, I wouldn't be able to deliver her vaginally. Furthermore, the doctor felt like the baby might be tilted a bit to where part of her head was face up. She said that babies that are "sunny side up" are more difficult to deliver so she wanted to try and reposition me to see if we get the baby to turn. So they had me labor on my side, with my leg elevated straight out in a stirrup. By 2pm I was 10cm dilated and the baby had dropped completely and turned over on her back - laboring on my side had worked! I was so relieved to hear this. The doctor said we could go ahead and start actively pushing so the nurse started setting everything up. She wheeled in a table and set it up with tools to assist in delivery (vacuum, forceps, etc) as well as instruments for an emergency c-section if needed. By 2:30pm the nurse let me go ahead and start pushing.

At this point I was thinking to myself that having a baby wasn't all that bad. I had painful contractions from about 11:15pm to 3:45am but after I had the epidural, the laboring had been a breeze. Don't get me wrong, the contractions were painful enough that I was desperate to get the epidural as soon as they would let me (we had to wait on the bloodwork results and for me to get enough IV fluids), but I could take them. Well, we tried pushing for about 15 minutes but I didn't "know" what muscles to use to push since I couldn't feel anything down there thanks to the wonderful epidural. Even though I knew this was normal, it kind of bothered me because I thought child birth was supposed to be "natural" and that I would just "know" how to push my baby out!

At that point, they decided that we'd have to turn off the epidural so that I could feel again and push more effectively. So we waited about 10-15 minutes for the epidural to wear off. This was the point where I gained an utmost respect for those moms who choose to labor med-free. The pain from the contractions was SO painful... I would even go as far as calling them unbearably painful!!! I expected pain, but not THAT kind of pain. It was so painful that I was crying - actually sobbing - with each contraction. This was not the labor that I had envisioned for myself.

In any case, the plan worked because once I could feel again, I was able to push more effectively. "More" being the key word - I was pushing, but not pushing hard enough for the baby to advance through the birth canal. Nonetheless, the nurse and doctor kept encouraging me and pushing me to keep going. At one point the nurse tried to tell me how she could see the baby's hair and that I just needed to push "a little harder" so she could come out. In order to try to get her to progress more with each push, they used a special technique with me while I was pushing. They said that if I lean over and hunch over my belly while pushing, it would help compress my belly and apply more pressure to get her to come out faster. So they took a bed sheet and had me hold onto it and they would pull me forward with each contraction/push (there was no way I was staying in that position on my own through that much pain!). They also elevated my legs and pulled them outward in order to get my pelvis to open up as much as possible.

So I pushed...and pushed...and pushed... my hospital gown was soaked in tears ...the contractions were coming every 1.5-2 minutes so I was pretty much sobbing non-stop. Nothing helped. Holding my husband's hand, trying to focus on meeting my baby, taking deep breaths, etc.... none of that helped with the pain. After about an hour and half of this, after I thought I was going to die of pain, they decided to turn the epidural back on a little bit to see if that helped. I am not sure why they didn't do this in the first place (I guess they thought I needed to feel everything in order to figure out which muscles to use...and with partial numbness I would have trouble doing so?) but once I had some pain relief, I felt much better and was able to push harder. In fact, the doctor said that those pushes were the strongest and most effective pushes I had made since we had started.

At 5:00pm, after I had been pushing for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, the doctor stopped everything and said we needed to reassess the situation. She said that with first time moms, if the baby isn't out after 2 hours of pushing, it probably isn't going to come out. She said that after 2 hours, the third hour of trying usually isn't very effective because the mom is just so worn out. She then stated that we could continue to try, and if I could just get the baby out a little bit further, she could try to pull her out with either a vacuum or forceps. However, she said that she herself had had a forceps delivery and as a mother she would not recommend that because the recovery is hard on both mom and baby. She also reached in to feel the baby and unfortunately she had turned back over and was sunny side up again, which was one more factor that was going to make it harder to deliver her vaginally.

She then turned to us and asked us what we wanted to do. Mr. Chocosaur turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. At this point, I was SO worn out and tired of hurting that I did not have the energy to even think about this (they even put an oxygen mask on me to help me get through the contractions). I told him that we could do whatever he wanted to do and that I didn't care anymore! He said it wasn't his decision, but mine... we asked the doctor what the likelihood was of continuing like this and delivering the baby okay - she said about 20%. So then we both kind of decided that we would just go ahead with the c-section. This was at 5:04pm and I remember looking at the clock and asking the doctor, "So this means I'll have my baby and this will be over with before 6:00, right?" My doctor smiled at me and said, "Oh yes, definitely. It won't take long at all." To which I replied, "Great... can I have some more drugs now?" Everyone in the room burst out laughing at this comment and the doctor said, "Yes, we'll get you taken care of."

Once the epidural was back on fully, I felt SO much better. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me some additional drugs, then checked to make sure I was completely numb up to my chest. By 5:24pm they were wheeling me over to the operating room. I remember being so cold from being exposed during the labor, plus all the cold IV fluids that they were giving me (I think I had received at least 2-3 liters by then!). I was shivering uncontrollably even though they put blankets on me. I am not sure if it was the drugs or just the sheer exhaustion of having been up for so long and having labored for so long, but the rest of the evening was a bit of a blur to me...

I remember them transferring me from the hospital bed to the operating room table and the nurse anesthetist talking to me and giving me drugs. I was still shivering uncontrollably at this point - I remember wishing I could warm up so I could feel a little more relaxed (even my teeth were chattering). I am not even sure exactly when they started but I remember thinking to myself that they weren't even waiting for my husband before making the initial incision. I heard them ask for someone to go get him, but I think they started cutting immediately thereafter. Once he was by my head, I asked him what the burning smell was and he told me it was the cautery they were using. I remember thinking to myself, "great, I can smell myself burning." Minutes later, at 5:42pm, they pulled her from my belly and I could hear her crying immediately. The first thing my Ob said was, "Oh she is just beautiful! So beautiful." Before taking her to get cleaned up and everything, they brought her by for me to see her and I immediately started crying. Mr. Chocosaur asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just so happy she is here and this is all over now." After that, they cleaned her up, weighed her, and I heard them give her an apgar score of 8 and then 9. She was 7 pounds, 4.4 ounces and 20 inches long.

My Ob actually told me that once they were in there, she could see that my pelvis was too small and that's why she wasn't progressing when I was pushing. She said I could have pushed until I was blue in the face, but my baby was not coming out except via c-section. She said that my pelvic outlet (which she could feel on her internal exams) was big enough, but my pelvic inlet (which she couldn't see until they opened me up) was way too small for her head to fit through. I just thought to myself, "Well, that would have been nice to know 24 hours ago!!"

After the surgery was done they wheeled me back to labor and delivery so I could recover and spend some time with her before she went to the nursery for her first bath. I remember feeling so groggy during this time that I don't even remember trying to breast feed her. I remember them undressing her so we could have some skin to skin contact before breast feeding, but that's it. Still, I remember how great it felt to finally have her snuggled up against me! I just looked at her and could not believe that this tiny little perfect baby was mine! It was a wonderful ending to very very long ordeal...

I know this is a very, very long post, but I always enjoyed reading other women's birth stories so I hope some of Pregosaur's readers have enjoyed reading mine. I suppose this will be my last post to this blog, as I am no longer a "Pregosaur." Life with a newborn has been crazy exhausting, stressful, and amazingly wonderful all at the same time. I'm not quite ready to transition over to Littlesaur just yet (don't know where I'd find the time!), but maybe someday when baby Chocosaur is a little older! It's been a pleasure being a contributor to this blog, and I wish nothing but the best to all the other Pregosaurs and readers of this blog as everyone makes their journey to motherhood!

She has arrived!

Yes, our beautiful baby GIRL (it's a girl!!!) arrived this past weekend. We couldn't be more in love with her if we tried.

I cannot believe it's been a month since I last posted on Pregosaur. I'm sorry for my silence, ladies, but the bed rest was getting to me and I really didn't feel like I had much to add to the blog. Mentally, I was just exhausted from thinking about all the medical information being thrown our way, and did not feel like writing about it...

Long story short, I started getting ultrasound monitoring (which still showed zero amniotic fluid, but growth on target), a fetal echo test, and daily home visits from ante-natal nurses (they did non-stress tests) starting in my 24th week. The nurses were optimistic and told me to hang in there. The doctors were mostly doom and gloom, preparing us for the worst.

We had a couple of labour scares, but we were able to complete a round of steroids in my 25th week.

And then the BIG EVENT happened on Sunday, November 8, 2009. Our daughter was born after 26 weeks, 1 day gestation.

My labour was pretty quick, which I understand is normal for pre-term babies. The evening before she was born, I started getting lots of pelvic pressure and I felt like the baby had dropped. I had talked to the nurse about it, but because I was not exhibiting any other symptoms of labour, she was unconcerned. I went to bed at my usual time, around 10:00 pm, and I slept well.

At 3:00 am, I woke up to pee and started feeling a backache and menstrual type cramps that were coming and going. After lying there for about 45 minutes, I woke up Mr. Legalosaur and got him to help me time them. We timed them for another 45 minutes or so, when it became obvious that they were coming and going every 4 minutes very predictably. Despite the fact that I was not having any contractions in the front pelvic region, we thought it best to go to the hospital to get assessed.

So we hopped in the car and made our way to the hospital. When I got there, the nurse hooked me up to the non-stress machine and walked away. The pains were now coming and going every 3 minutes. But there were no contractions showing up on the monitoring strip. I am no medical expert, but I had seen enough monitor strips over the few weeks previous that I could tell that the baby's heartrate was dipping every time I had one of my labour pains. Yet, they just let me sit there and wait.

I could tell the nurse did not believe I was truly in labour and thought that I was being a big baby. They had me sit on the monitor for almost an hour before the resident finally came in to see me. And that was only after I started vomiting that the nurse started to take me seriously and went to go get the resident.

A quick speculum check showed that I was already at 6 cm. (Turns out I had back labour only, which means no contractions showing up on the monitor!) The resident said, "I can see lots of black hair."

And that's when chaos broke out in my little assessment room. Suddenly there was a flurry of activity. Four nurses swooped in and started putting in my IV, filling out paperwork, adjusting my bed for transport, etc. I was very scared at that point, and in pain, so I don't really remember much of this point. I know I asked if I could get something for the pain, and they answered that I could...

They did another check of my cervix just 10 minutes later, and at that point I was at 9 cm. And they freaked out that I had progressed so quickly. The NICU team was called down stat, and I was wheeled away to the delivery room in the OR.

As I was being wheeled to the OR, I asked again about pain medication. I was told no, there was no time, we needed to get this baby out now. While I am not averse to the idea of a natural labour, I had intended to have some idea of how to breathe and focus, how to push, what to do... But I didn't have a clue. I wasn't ready. I was reeling from the idea that we were having our baby NOW and I wasn't ready for it. I really, truly thought we'd make it to at least 28 weeks.

In the OR suite, Mr. Legalosaur met with me after changing into scrubs and a fancy hairnet-shower-cap thingy. They put my legs into the air, and then I was told to push. And so push I did. It was painful, but not as painful as it could have been given my baby's tiny size. Really, the worst part was the resident pulling and stretching open my perineum so that there was lots of room for the baby to come out with minimal trauma. I think it took about 5 "episodes" of pushing (you push three or four quickly successive times when a contraction comes), about 15 minutes total, and our child was born.

They quickly cut her cord and rushed her over to the waiting NICU team. I heard one weak cry, and that was it. They didn't even tell me if I had a son or a daughter. I had to ask the ob-gyn to go check and let me know. She came back and told us it's a girl... and I remember thinking "A daughter! Our daughter." but mostly I was dying to see or hear her. And I was worried to death that she didn't survive the birth or was not going to live before I could feel her and touch her.

Sadly, the whole thing was such a whirlwind and we forgot our camera in the car. By the time we remembered and wanted to run down and get it, there was no time because baby was coming NOW. So all we have of our daughter's first hours of life are a couple of cell phone pictures on Mr. Legalosaur's blackberry. We had discussed previously that he should accompany her to the NICU, being that I would have to spend some time in recovery. If she did end up passing away, I didn't want her to pass on without a parent there. Luckily, he felt the same way.

I had to stay in the OR to deliver the placenta and to monitor my bleeding. I was there for almost an hour after the birth until I was finally put into a wheelchair and wheeled to my room on the recovery ward. Then they had to do vital monitoring, go through aftercare, and the nurse wanted me to go to bathroom with her watching to make sure that all was well down there. And then they forced me to eat breakfast before they would wheel me to the NICU, so I ate my food in record time and paged the nurse to take me up to see my baby girl.

The first time I saw her was almost two hours after she was born. I dissolved into tears at how tiny and fragile she looked. The neonatologist told me a bunch of stuff about her lungs and condition, but I don't really remember what she said now...

Turns out the likely reason for my early labour (aside from the premature rupture of my membranes) was infection. My placenta had areas of pus and infection on it.

Today, our little baby girl is doing amazingly well considering her prematurity (*knock on wood*). She is tiny, but feisty. She's proven to be the fighter I always knew she was, all throughout the pregnancy. When she grips my finger in the NICU, I cannot help but think that she would not be here if we had decided to terminate our pregnancy when my water broke at 20 weeks. I am soooo glad that we made the decision to wait and see what the future would bring. She is our miracle, the light of our lives. I treasure and cherish every moment I get to spend with her, and wouldn't trade them for the world.

And with that, this will be my last post on Pregosaur. I have decided that I have too much on my plate to go on and post on Littlesaur, as much as I would like to share my experience as a NICU parent. But I know I need to focus all my attention and energy on our daughter, and so that's what I'm going to do.

Thank you to all the readers for your thoughts, support and encouragement throughout my pregnancy. I will check back and see how the rest of the Pregosaurs are doing from time to time, and cheer you all on from the sidelines. Good luck to you all!

Not pregnant anymore. . .

Not sure if this is my last "pregosaur" blog, b/c I don't qualify as TTC or KU anymore! Yep, you heard me. . . as soon as I accepted that Baby Shopasaur would come when she wanted to, she made her arrival the very next day. Ironic, huh? I wish I could tell you which of the many old wives tales we tried actually worked, but I tried so many that it could have been any of them. (Or none of them, for that matter).

Here is a little survey I thought might be interesting-- a recap of my pregnancy
1. Experience any morning sickness? None at all during my pregnancy. Felt like throwing up during labor (after the epidural), but I slept it off. . . and I think the wonderful nurses gave me something to help with nausea
2. The most important question for some women: How much did you gain total? I'll admit, I let myself go. I PROBABLY gained 38-40 pounds. The last appt. I had I gained 37 pounds, and I was supposed to have another doctor's appt. the day that Baby Shopasaur was born, so I'm not sure how much I gained within that week.
3. Exercise? I exercised all the up until about 25 weeks. Mr. Shopasaur and I would walk about a mile 3 times a week, or I would elliptical for 20 minutes. I also walked at the very, very end of my pregnancy, hoping to get the little booger out.
4. Cravings? Nothing specific. When people ask me this, I tell them that I craved everything in sight. I ate ice cream, cake, pie, cookies, poptarts (had a strawberry poptart and milk almost every.single.day since I found out I was KU)
5. Did you take a babymoon? Not officially, but I did fly to Vegas very early into my pregnancy for work and Mr. Shopasaur met up with me. We went to a few bars and I drank soda.
6. Stretch marks? I was relatively lucky and had NO stretch marks until the very last week of pregnancy. . . all around my belly button. Ick. Nothing too severe though.
7. Did you take the epidural? I did. I took it early and didn't feel ANY pain throughout the labor. I didn't like not being able to move my legs (or feel them, for that matter). I couldn't even move myself up or down/side to side, but it's hard to compare because I don't know how painful the actual labor would have been w.o it.
8. How long were you in labor for? My water broke at 4:30 in the morning and Baby Shopasaur came out at 7:35pm. It was a long day of WAITING.
9. What was it like to have your water break? From what I understand, not many women experience their water breaking. I went to use the bathroom in the morning, and while I was washing my hands, felt like I had peed myself all over again. Of course, I thought it was discharge or something, so I put a pad on and went back to bed, but I still felt like I was "leaking." It definitely wasn't a huge gush like they show in the movies.
10. Were you still working? Of course. I was 38 weeks and had gone to work thursday during the day and school at night, then gave birth on friday.
11. Any advice for KU women? Nope. Every pregnancy/labor/birth is different--- nobody's advice applied to me and I wouldn't expect my 'advice' to apply to anyone else!
12. Episiotomy? Totally TMI, but yep. Baby Shopasaur was a whopping 8lbs 6 oz and I'm only 5'2". . . there's no way she would have fit without it! I'd say the episiotomy was one of the worst parts of the birth experience as the epidural had worn off by then. :(
13. What now? I'm left with a jiggly, jello-y stomach. Was told not to exercise for 6 weeks due to the episiotomy, but I'm getting anxious the weight won't come off. Lost about 20ish pounds so far, and still have twenty to go!! (Yikes-- should have watched my weight gain a LITTLE closer, eh?) I'm also left with the most gorgeous baby girl in the entire world (though I am a tad biased), with two dimples and grey eyes (am told they will most likely change over time) who is the absolute love of my life, next to Mr. Shopasaur. [He, incidentally has proven to be the most amazing father and husband over the past two weeks. I know now, more than ever, that I married the right person. Hope every KU lady is as lucky as I am!]

That's it, I think. Unless you ladies have any questions about my own personal experience. . . feel free to email or something! Good luck everyone with your pregnancies and TTC. :)