Attended My First Birth

I am a photographer and recently got asked to capture a home birth. I agreed not knowing what I was getting into but really excited to experience a birth.

On Wednesday afternoon I got a phone call- her water had broke! I was told to be on hold and prepared to head out as soon as S's (the mom) contractions started. Then at around 7:45 I got the phone call- come on over, we're ready to go!

I arrive at the house about half an hour later at exactly the same moment as the midwifes (who I found out live in my neighborhood!). S was already in the birthing tub in her bedroom having back-to-back contractions. Her husband was patting her on her arm, and her friend and 11-year-old daughter were hanging out on the bed.

One thing that I wasn't expecting- the atmosphere. Everyone was just hanging out, calm as can be, like she does this every day. It was quiet, everyone talking with low voices but audible enough for everyone else to hear. The midwifes went to work right away, hauling in two very large bags of medical supplies, but weren't dashing around like I thought they would be. They just got out some forms and checked the heart beat with a dopplar and checked her cervix. Then they let her be and hung back to let S labor.

It wasn't until S announced that she was ready to push that anyone really moved. Then we all gathered around the birthing tub as the daughter, wearing a bathing suit, hopped in with her Mom. I always thought the pushing part takes a while, but I guess when it's your 5th baby and you have had only fast deliveries in the past, pushing takes no time at all! Because next thing I know the baby girl entered the world, caught by her sister.

After that everything went back to the way it was before. Everyone just hung out, admiring the beautiful little girl that had just entered this world. The pace was very slow and relaxed. S held her baby to her chest until she started feeling crampy again and then went into the bathroom to deliver the placenta. It was then that the cord was cut and the baby was weighed... 9 pounds, 2 ounces!!! After that, Mom, Dad, baby, sister, and one of their sons who Dad had woken up to come meet his little sister, got into the bed and just spent time as a family.

I left when the midwifes left, around midnight. When I got into my car I was grinning from ear to ear. It was such a peaceful and wonderful experience and exactly what I want for my birth. I know my labor won't be like that in pace, but I hope for it to be like that in atmosphere. Even if I end up having to birth in a hospital instead of home I know now how important it is to find a hospital that will allow the parents to have a certain amount of control over the deliver. Low lights, low voices, no rushing, and everyone just feeling comfortable enough to sit back and enjoy themselves is exactly what I think of as a "perfect" delivery. And if I can do it at home, even better!

I really wish I could share the pictures but I haven't spoken with S yet about her comfort level with that. But if you've never had the chance to attend a birth but get invited to, I highly recommend going. You can read all the books you want and watch YouTube videos until your eyes fall out, but there's nothing like really being there! Birth is such an amazing and wonderful thing and I'm envious of those of you who have already experienced it or who get to experience it soon.

But the real personal part of this post is- I've found my midwife! If my husband and I are still living here when this time comes I want to use this midwife. She's not only a very caring, experienced midwife, but she also lives 2 minutes from me. :)

TTC After Injury, An Introduction

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The above cartoon is advice I'd like to give you all. BEWARE OF THE GOAT! Read on, you will see why.

I have never been one to be traditional. From high school (performing arts boarding school that was basically crack in high school form), to college (performing arts college in New York City, great fun for my little hillbilly bumpkin self), to my profession (background actor, yeah, I’m the person who just walked past the camera, then did it again and again and hoped you wouldn’t notice I was the same person), and finally my wedding (destination celebration in Negril, Jamaica Woot!) . In fact, it’s tradition for me to be untraditional. A stark contrast to my parents and sibling who by all means are living the stereotypical “American Dream” lifestyles. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I often envy the stability they all have. It’s just not me. I was the wild child, I guess. Though I pride myself on staying relatively tame and grounded through all my crazy little adventures. But like everything else I’ve ever done, I just couldn’t be normal when it came to child-bearing.

First shocker I decided to toss at my parents was my chosen birth route. I want a home birth. The whole works- midwives, soothing music, butt naked in a birthing pool, “natural” childbirth- everything I learned from watching “The Business of Being Born”.

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I am a very fortunate person. VERY fortunate. When I first told my parents I wanted to go to my high school I got a few blank stares and then, finally, they said “OK honey, if that’s what you want.” I’m sure they thought it was a phase I’d outgrow, but two years later I was graduating from the Perpich Center for Arts Education Arts High School, 4 hours from where I grew up. The same scene played out for college and later when I told my parents I was moving to San Diego. By the time I told them where I wanted to get married I think they were just happy I was planning on wearing clothes at my wedding. So they weren’t shocked at all when I told them about the home birth idea. In fact my Dad, who in recent years has become the most hippie Republican you’ll ever meet, thought it was the best idea I’ve come up with yet! They fully supported me 100%.

I fell into a few natural birth communities before we even started TTC and it’s been an amazing journey into a world I never knew existed. There’s a fair amount of granola crunching, tree hugginess involved with home birth (as you’d notice if you ever read “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth”), but there are valid mental and physical advantages to home birth that I think “fit” with me. Not to mention that fact that I am a granola crunching, tree huggy person. :) The availability of resources and communities astonished me. Honestly, until a co-worker encouraged me to watch “The Business of Being Born”, saying only that it changed his opinion of childbirth but went no further, I had never even thought home birth was legal/possible anymore! It continues to shock me as I bring it up more and more how popular this method of birth really is. I’ve since met several people in my own social circle who have either had a home birth, planned one but ended up with a hospital birth, or attended a home birth of a friend/family member. It no longer seemed that “out there” to me, and more of a serious possibility.

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So now onto our TTC journey. We half-heartedly started around November of 2008 after 7 months of marital bliss. But then fate decided to throw it’s ugly little head into our well-laid plans. Because of recent strikes in my industry I’ve taken on a second job at an animal center. On February 17th I was cleaning out a goat pen when one of the sneaky little bugger decided to make a break for it. In my desire to contain the situation quickly I decided to wrangle him back in on my own. The result- I fell on my butt in a giant pile of mud and did something my body was never meant to do- the splits. I also fell backwards on a locked arm and threw out my shoulder. The mobility in my right arm has been limited ever since (the other injuries have all since healed). I think it was a blessing in disguise that our attempts in Nov-Jan were not successful because my injury was painful, and my recovery has been extremely slow going and has put me out of work since February. We obviously put things on hold after the accident.

FINALLY, in the past couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling confident enough with my body and recovery progress to once again TTC. But, not *quite* yet. I have an appointment with a specialist on May 28th to review my MRI scans (all the both of them) and it will be decided if I need surgery to regain use of my arm then. Obviously if a surgery is needed we will hold off a bit longer. But in the meantime, I will continue to prepare myself mentally and physically for becoming a Mother. I've got a nice little check list I've been working on that I'll post about next time.

Until then, it's nice to meet you all!