I Hate my Doctor and Bad News

I am so mad right now and apologies ahead of time but this post is going to be long. But before I get into that I want to say thank you for everyone who had good things to say about my last post and how the doctor was treating me. Today it wasn't any better infact it was worse. I went in for a supposed consultation but that is not what I got. My appointment was scheduled for 3:00 and I arrived about ten minutes early and I sat for 45 minutes before I was even called back. I was the only one there so it wasn't like she had a busy room full of people.

Then I get taken back and she comes in to tell me she can't tell me the results of my husbands sperm analysis because she doesn't know what they mean. WHAT! Then why in the hell did she tell me to come in, why didn't she just say that a week and a half ago. She tells me I need to see a specialist that she can't help me out with my long menstrual cycles. Again, I could have heard this on the phone. So as I am collecting all my paperwork I ask about my last pap. She said it was negative and when I asked about the HPV she said it was negative. Good news but then I wanted to know if that meant the cells that have already changed on my cervix are still bad and need to be monitored or when I should come in for my next pap and she said with a raised voice and an attitude that they were negative. She wouldn't even answer any of my questions about what the HPV had done to my body. With that comment she stood up and said come see me when you get pregnant. At this point I want to tell her she is a raving lunatic if she thinks I will ever see her again.

Don't get me wrong I will forever be grateful that she helped me understand that HPV needs to be taken seriously, and for taking care of my body from that first appointment but since the surgery she has done nothing for me. I do have a fertility center which is located across the street from me so I called my insurance one more time to get a better understanding of what they cover. A very helpful and polite person answered and did a wonderful job explaining that the fertility center is in my network and that I can get tests and a diagnosis covered by insurance. However, once myself or my husband gets diagnosed infertile they will no longer cover any of the procedures or furter testing. So my goal is to get an appointment before the new year because I have already covered my deductible for this year. But it was too late to call after the doctors because they kept me there so long so I'll call in the morning.

I want to at least go in and make sure I am ovulating and see what they think about my long cycles ( I am on day 40) and I am not scheduled to ovulate until New Years. Now for the bad news I was able to read the results from the sperm analysis and they don't look good for us conceiving naturally. According to the results Mr. Relaxasaur has good count and motility but it says he has severe teratospermia which is what my doctor had no clue about. I of course came home and googled it. It means that he has a low percentage of normal shaped sperm. That is what teratospermia is defined as I have no clue how little severe means. Sperm which are abnormally shaped do not swim well, nor do they penetrate the egg well when they do reach it. One site said that is also means they are degenerative.

I don't know how bad his is because they did not put a percentage down on the result sheet for the Kruger Strict Morphology test - it just says severe. According to Dr. Google it looks like intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is the most common way to help couples become pregnant. I'm not taking this to mean that is what we have to do - I wont jump to any conclusions until I hear it come from a doctor I trust. Now here is the other problem: I can't tell the reproductive endocrinologist about it until all my tests are run because if the insurance company finds out about it I am afraid my tests wont be covered. Or I could wait until I meet my doctor and then tell her about the results and ask they not write it down or let it get to the insurance company. What do you guys think I should do bring it up right away or wait until my results are in?

I like to end on good news so here is the good news I got today. My husband is not sterile and as of today there is a possiblity of us having kids (even if we need help) and my good friend who is pregnant found out she is having a girl. I love shopping for baby girl clothes. Thanks ahead of time for everyones opinions and thoughts. I really do appreciate them.