Hello Cycle # 5

Well, I didn't even get the opportunity to test this week. AF came in the wee hours of 12 DPO with a screaming vengeance. I was woken up by my cramps, and was curled in the fetus position begging for relief for about 2 hours.

I am not crushed; as you know from my previous posts, I was expecting this to a degree. I am going to use my OVWatch again this month. I used it in Cycle # 3, but forgot to order a new sensor in time to use for Cycle # 4. Since my cycles seem to be getting closer to normal (32 days total for # 4), I am hoping it won't be off like it was for Cycle # 3. I also will begin taking Red Raspberry Leaf tablets in conjunction with my B-6 and Chinese herbs, to try and further regulate my cycle. Adding these new things each month gives me hope, something to experiment with and look forward to seeing the results.

On one hand, I am trying to stay positive. However, don't be fooled. There is a voice in the back of mind that is saying, what if Mr. Bellesaur is not well? What if his morphology is abnormal still? While I know there was only a 20% chance of getting KU even with well timed intercourse, it is still hard not to wonder if my odds are even slimmer than that. Mr. Bellesaur goes back for his SA next week, and I am terrified. I am afraid to hear the results. I am scared that the morphology will be bad still, and it won't be something we can treat. I have many unfounded fears, but I am trying to keep them at bay.

So, here's to my new cycle. Let's hope my fears are ridiculous and unfounded.