Our trip to the ER yesterday

I was sitting at my desk yesterday before lunch, just minding my own business and doing a little bit of work.

All of a sudden, I felt a bit of a "gush" and wetness down there. At first I thought maybe I had leaked somehow, but that didn't make much sense since I hadn't sneezed or even coughed.

Image source.

So I got up and ran to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and bent down to pee. What I saw freaked the HECK outta me! A rush of pinky-red blood came gushing out with my pee.

All I could think was oh-my-god-oh-my-god-oh-my-god-oh-my-god! When I wiped, there was even more pinky-red blood on the toilet paper. The water in the toilet bowl was pink with blood. I was in shock, just numb, and I basically froze. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Memories of my miscarriage from March came rushing back to me.

Image source.

I went back to my office, and the first thing I did was phone Mr. Legalosaur. He asked me what I wanted to do, but I didn't really know what to do.

My first instinct was to run to the ER, but I wondered if that was a bit of overkill. I had been to the doctor with our first pregnancy after bleeding, and I knew there was nothing she could do except check the cervix to see if it was closed or not. Which really means nothing at all. I needed some proof NOW that everything was okay... or that all was lost.

I hung up on Mr. Legalosaur and phoned the stupid ultrasound lab to see if they had any cancellations that afternoon or the day after. The first appointment they had was still the end of August, so there was no point in holding out any hope for them.

At that point I decided that the ER was probably the best way to go, although I was not looking forward to sitting in the waiting room all afternoon... And I did feel like it was a bit of an overreaction, but I had never bled this much even when I first found out we had miscarried, so I was worried.

I phoned Mr. Legalosaur and he came to get me from work. We drove to the ER. I went pee when we first got there, and there was still quite a bit of pink blood.

Image source.

The ER was actually very amazing. Within 30 minutes of me walking in there, we had a room. The ER doc didn't really think an ultrasound was warranted, being that I'm "only 6 weeks along" and "early miscarriages are very common". However, after explaining that we had a missed miscarriage in March, and assuring him that I *knew* the ultrasound might not show us anything, he decided to let us have the ultrasound.

So, I got a ride on my wheelie bed over to the radiology department. (I thought it strange that they wouldn't let me walk, but I wasn't complaining.) They took me into an ultrasound room within 10 minutes of arriving. The dildo-cam was primed and we were good to go.

The ultrasound tech, well, she was AMAZING. I loved her. She was so good with me, especially with my nerves because of our last horrible ultrasound experience (where we found out our baby had died weeks earlier, and the radiologist was quite callous about the miscarriage diagnosis). She wouldn't let Mr. Legalosaur in at first, but she did tell me in a whispered voice that "I'm not allowed to tell you anything, so you never heard this from me, but I see a heart beat. Your baby is alive right now."

You don't understand how I cried when I heard those words. From relief, mostly. And a little from fear, because I wish they could tell me everything would be okay, but I know nobody has a crystal ball...

Image source.

The ultrasound tech left to talk to the radiologist, but not before letting Mr. Legalosaur in to be with me. I told him what she had told me. He almost didn't believe me, I think. I know at the ultrasound with our first pregnancy, he thought everything was just fine, and he was blindsided from the bad news just as much as I was. This time, I'm pretty sure he was prepared for bad news, but was surprised by good news. Poor guy, it's not been easy on him, for either of us.

After a couple of minutes, the tech came back. She said the radiologist didn't feel the need to speak with us, so we were done and the ER doc would explain the results with us. But before we went back to the ER, she would let us see the heart beat even though she wasn't supposed to, and only if we wanted to.

Wanted to? UM HECK YA!

So we got to watch our baby's flickering heart beat for about a minute. It was amazing, just beautiful. She told us that the rate was 139 beats per minute, which is wonderful for how far along we are. She also said that we were measuring about 3 days ahead, so that we were measuring at 6 weeks 5 days. Mr. Legalosaur and I just grasped each others' hands, and the tears were running down my cheeks.

Image source.

I asked for a picture of our little blob, but they don't give pictures in the hospital labs, so we walked away empty-handed. But I don't care, because I GOT TO SEE MY LIVE BABY and that's enough for me.

When we got back to the ER, we found out that I have what is called a "subchorionic hemorrhage" and that's what is causing the bleeding. Apparently it's quite common, and it doesn't increase your risk of miscarriage. The vast majority of the time, it just resolves itself. So, basically, I'm just monitoring the bleeding and if it gets much worse or tissue is passed, then I need to go back to the ER.

All in all, we were in and out of the ER in about 4 hours, which is super amazing. I thought we would be sitting in the waiting room for about 4 hours, not be in an out in that time. I am so grateful that they were so efficient.

Today, there's still some bleeding, but it's brown and much less than yesterday. I'm on bed rest until the end of the weekend, at least until the bleeding stops.

Image source.

No matter what the outcome, I'm just so glad I got to see our baby, live on the ultrasound screen. I will cherish that memory for the rest of my life. Of course, I really hope that everything will be okay this time around. But I know how fleeting human life can be... All I know is that today I am pregnant and I love my baby more than ever before.