...who is sometimes terrified at the thought of being a mother? I know we're all talking about how much we want a baby and I do want one. I want to be a mom. It's something I've always known I wanted. But the closer it comes to being reality, the more frightening it becomes. Part of me still wants to be a kid and have no cares in the world.
Last night I started to stress out about how messy our house is and how I never have time to do all the things I need to do. My to-do list is always neverending. I already feel so overwhelmed with the responsibilities that come with being an adult and a homeowner and I am exhausted all the time as it is. I just sometimes wonder how I'll ever have the energy to raise a child.
I hear from so many people that you just do it. You make do with the little sleep you can get and you just dig down and do what you gotta do. But I just don't function well with little sleep. I could get by with a few hours in my early twenties. In fact, that was the norm for me in college. It doesn't work for me anymore. I end up being lazy and not at all productive.
I read this article today about an episode of Oprah where moms open up about motherhood and how difficult it really is. They talk about the things no one wants to talk about - the feelings of inadequacy, the loneliness, the exhaustion. I'm not sure if it made me feel better or worse to read about these things. In a way, it just reinforced my fears. But it also let me know that the things I'm afraid I'm going to feel are not uncommon. It's good to know that women are starting to open up about the difficulties of motherhood so that when we get to that stage, we'll know we're not alone.
Friday, April 17, 2009
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You are SO not alone. As much as I want to be a mother, I also have no idea how I'm going to cope sometimes lol! Like you, I've heard from people that you just do - that you dig down and just do what you have to do. But I still worry - I worry that I won't be a good mother, that I won't be able to handle things, that I will do something wrong (not just normal wrong, but really screw up the poor kid for life). It's nice to know that I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not the only one. I worry about this all the time. I think it's part of being a woman, especially one who likes to do everything well. But, I know that once the time comes, we'll manage and eventually excel. We always do!
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how little sleep you can survive on when you have a baby. Trust me - my 3 month old is currently testing that theory!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd feeling that you won't be able to cope is perfectly normal. Just don't be afraid to ask for help. And its hard when all the articles talk about motherhood as this fluffy feeling of love and Huggies moments and they skip how hard it can actually be.
In the end, you will cope. And all the good things soon make the lack of sleep pale in comparison!!
Good luck with it all. :)