Anyways, I am back to feeling better about things. Hopeful for the future and all that jazz. The sadness still bubbles up from time to time, but it is not as raw.
So, here's a pic of our lil baby Legalosaur from our big ultrasound, who so obviously has his/her father's profile that it makes me ache.
I mean, DUDE! I am carrying around a miniature of my husband in my ute right now. That just makes me feel weird and yet closer to him, all at once. *lol* The ultrasound tech didn't say much about the baby's anatomy, but mentioned that everything looked normal to her. We didn't find out the gender, we're going for the BIG surprise at delivery.
The bonus I mentioned in the subject line of this blog post? I've started feeling movement. Finally! It started in my 18th week. I was *pretty* sure what I was feeling was movement, but then I kept doubting myself... I mean, I've been convincing myself that what I've been feeling for so long is gas, maybe I'm still feeling gas?
No, it's quite clear to me as I sailed through my 19th week that what I was feeling is definitely little ninja kicks from within. They are not strong enough for Mr. Legalosaur to feel, but there's no mistaking them. Being that my placenta is anterior, I was not really expecting to feel movement until after 20 weeks, probably closer to 23-24 weeks.
And today, I'm at 20 weeks. This is a major milestone for me, like 12 weeks was. There were times I didn't think I'd make it here. I'd talk myself off the ledge by repeating - over and over again - just make it to 20 weeks. Make it to 20 weeks, and everything will be okay.
And here I stand, at 20 weeks. I have arrived. It feels good. I AM HALF-WAY THERE. I can breathe.
My next big milestone date is 27 weeks. Because at 27 weeks, if this baby were to be born early, he or she would have a 90% survival rate. Would there be issues, oh definitely. Likelihood of brain damage and other preemie issues, absolutely. But our baby would be alive. And that gives me comfort.
That's it for me. I'm off to drink some orange juice with my iron pill, and then lie on my side to enjoy some more kicks!
Yay movement! Feels real now doesn't it?! I too have had a few miscarriages and was also shocked at how heartbreaking it would be. Thanks for sharing your story, it always helps me to hear from others who have been through it.
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The Penny-Pinching Mama
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I am so happy for you! Congrats on 20 weeks and feeling the kicks. That is amazing! It is so cool that your baby already looks like your husband and you can recognize that from your ultrasound pics.
ReplyDeleteYaaaay! I'm so happy for you!!!
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