The one where Bibliosaur turns into a soggy mess

Like Legalosaur, I live in a country with free healthcare - and 99.9999% of the time, I love it (this is coming from an American living overseas, so I've experienced both sides of the coin). But, as she has said before, "this means that you cannot really dictate things on your terms, or get [optional] procedures that you would really like done just because you asked and you have your fat wallet in your hand." And ultrasounds are a very good example of this.

In Australia, you usually get one ultrasound at 12 weeks for the NT scan and then one at around 18-20 weeks. That's it. Aussie docs maintain that frequent ultrasounds are not really necessary unless it's a high risk pregnancy, especially since babies tend to not love them. So when I showed up for my first doctor's appointment today, I was already prepared to discuss a first ultrasound date of at least seven weeks from now. I could have tried to weasel my way into an earlier ultrasound by saying I wasn't sure when my last period was (and thus snagging a dating scan), but my doctor knows me well enough to know that wouldn't be true. Plus I'm a terrible liar. I go seven shades of red when I lie.

So this afternoon, I went into my doctor's office. And I sat down. And I smiled. And I told her I was pregnant again. And then I was suddenly so overwhelmed with fear and stress and emotion that I burst into tears. I can't imagine it was a pretty sight - I'm an ugly crier.

Yup. That's pretty much what I looked like. Just soggier.

My poor doc. Here she probably thought it was going to be a happy appointment - her patient who miscarried is knocked up again! - and instead I was a hysterical, sobbing mess within two seconds of seeing her. She instantly started reassuring me, then told me she would schedule me for an early ultrasound to help me feel less stressed about this pregnancy. I looked up at her and blubbered, "Really? *sniff* We can*sob* see the baby sooner?"

Yes indeed we can, and way sooner than I was expecting: she has scheduled me in for a 7 week ultrasound, which is a mere eleven days from now!

7 week ultrasound, courtesy of here.

I'm so relieved...if I had to wait until 12 weeks, I think I'd probably have turned myself inside out with worry. I know that my doctor also miscarried with her first pregnancy, so even though we've had our differences, I'm deeply grateful to have someone sympathetic to what I'm going through. I'm doing my absolute best to think positively about this pregnancy, but frankly, I'm still pretty terrified. I'm so excited to know that in just a week and a half, we'll be able to hear our little one's heart beating!