Five Weeks

Today marks the beginning of week five and the second month of pregnancy. According to Babycenter:

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The big development this week: Your baby's brain is beginning to grow! It develops from the neural tube, a structure that will also spawn your baby's spinal cord, nerves, and backbone. Since folic acid helps prevent neural tube defects such as spina bifida, you can see why it's so important to take it while trying to conceive and early in pregnancy. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

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My bewbies continue to be sore, but it's less than before (thank goodness). No more contemplation of wearing a bra in the shower! I have been crying spontaneously off and on for the past three days. I don't know why. I am not feeling particularly sad or anxious. It just comes over me and I break down. I feel bad because it happened while I was on the phone this morning with Mr. Divasaur while he was at work. It's hard for him to hear me cry.

Mornings, upon waking and evenings, right before bed are the worst as far as nausea is concerned. It's surprising how a little "seed" can cause so many symptoms! In the mornings it almost feels like a hang over. I have cotton mouth and nausea. I have water and saltines by the bed to help. My appetite was done a completely 180! Two weeks ago I couldn't eat enough! The past few days, nothing is really that appealing and I have to remind myself to eat. I am mostly eating fresh fruit with plain yogurt or cottage cheese and a little flax-pumpkin seed granola. I am loving fresh strawberries, blueberries, peaches and bananas.

I have also discovered that I like V8 vegetable juice (low sodium) which is bizarre to me because I normally cannot stand it. Mr. Divasaur drinks it all the time and I am usually like, "blech!" But I gave it a try since I am not feeling veggies right now and have found that not only can I stand it but I actually like it. Weird. Even though meat and veggies aren't appealing to me right now, I am making myself eat them at least once a day. Mostly grilled chicken or turkey breast and dark, green leafy veggies or a garden salad. I was craving Asian food this weekend so I had a California Roll and Seaweed Salad with Sesame Seeds. YUM! Today it was Thai Spring Rolls with Peanut Sauce and Chinese Lettuce Wraps.

I have been having random sharp, electric pinching pains in my nether regions...some gals call this lightning crotch. Apparently it affects most women in their third trimester. It's not really painful, just more startling than anything. But the time it hits, it's over. I also felt a little sciatica today, but through some stretching I managed to work it out. I had sciatica really badly in my early 20's and through chiropractic care I worked it out. It hasn't really bothered me in ten years or so. So I am hoping it won't flare up as my pregnancy progresses.

Speaking of progress, that's probably what lingers on my mind the most. Will it progress? I am trying to meditate daily and be positive. But there are moments when darker thoughts creep in about the future of this baby and even myself. Life is so fragile and every day on the Internet message boards there is a woman posting about a miscarriage, stillborn or even infant death. It's tragic and reminds me that I cannot take anything for granted. There's so much about TTC and being PG that is beyond my control. I am sure the same can be said for parenting. So I am doing my best to grow and find a way to accept this. It's a challenge for this type-A, plans-everything personality. Everyday I am humbled and amazed by this journey to motherhood.