Weight checks

Well its been a little more than a week since we got home. My mother left on Sunday and my husband is taking this week off from work. I would say it is a typical house with a newborn, I still have my PJs on and baby and daddy are still sleeping. The mornings are just an extension of the night so its typical to roll out of bed around 11. That leaves for a relatively short day to get other things accomplished but I really only have one job right now. Taking care of the baby.

We have been to the pediatricians four times since her birth because they were concerned with her weight gain. She was born at 9lb 14oz and was released from the hospital at 9lbs. That was 10% of her weight and they start getting "concerned" at 9%. Our second weight check she went down to 8lb 14oz, since being at the hospital we have been supplementing with formula because my milk did not come in right away so at that weight we bumped up the amount of formula we gave her. We had to return to the drs the next day and she went up to 9lb 4oz.

Now our pediatrician is super cool and the whole time was saying that she just wanted to keep an eye out and wasn't super worried and how 200 years ago they didn't weigh the babies that much so they didn't know if they lost of gained weight in the first week of life. For us the pediatrician is literally at the end of our street within walking distance so I didn't mind taking the walk down there.

As of yesterday she is 9lb 3 oz and we don't have to go back till January.

And I hear my call for more food so I have to wrap it up. As soon as I can I will post the birth story too.

Half way there!!!!!!

This is just going to be short and sweet. But since its been FOREVER since I last wrote, I have to give an update......

I am 20 weeks and 4 days along! YEEESSSSSS! Every Monday I go to the hospital and get a lovely shot in my butt of Hydroxy-Progesterone to help me make it to term. We found out 2 weeks ago that we are expecting a girl. I've narrowed the name search to about 25 names! LOL!!! We are almost on Christmas Break so I promise to give more details about all the stuff going on with my pregnancy.

Update - Home from the Hospital

I am going to keep this short and not get into the details just yet, firstly the sitting position isn't super comfortable after the c-section. I have about 10-15 staples, (I can't see them, therefore I can't count them) but I sure do FEEL them. They are very sensitive and tender today, I have been laying and reclining a lot more recently just to get the pressure off the area.

Our baby is AMAZING.

Addison Mary was born at 8:36 am December 8, 2011 weighing in at 9 pounds 14 oz and 22.5 inches long.

Wow what an experience, what a gift for such a hard road to have crossed. We were released from the hospital yesterday, I am very thankful to not be bothered every hour. My mother is here helping which is wonderful and I am trying to breast feed so my time is split between feeding, resting and just staring at her beautiful face.

It has been a whirlwind few days, just so amazing. My brain is not functioning as normal due to lack of sleep and my sentences are full of umms lately but I would not change it for anything.

The first night home was not bad, I have been up throughout the night even when she was still in my belly so now I just have someone to take care of. My milk has also not come in fully yet so I am trying to get her on the breast by herself to eat for ten minutes, then using the SNS system to feed. Its a feeding tube you tape to yourself that has formula on the other end but makes her think she is feeding from the breast still and I have been pumping afterwards to get it to come in as quickly as possible. Needless to say its a process. More on the breast feeding frontier to come.

Well my belly is telling me its time to release the pressure and take more meds. I will post as I can and there may be a picture or two :)

And the winner of the Fairhaven Health goodies giveaway is...

The winning number for our Fairhaven Health goodies giveaway was lucky number three!

Congratulations Barker's Momma! Send an email with your full name and address to pregosaur@gmail.com and let us know which two of the featured products from Fairhaven Health you'd like to receive!

Thanks to everyone for entering the giveaway! 

Note to our winner: please contact us within 7 days. If we don't hear from you, we will re-draw the prize. Thank you!

Today is my Babys Birthday!

I wanted to find time to post and 4:39am is as good of a time as any. I was woken up by feet under my rib cage and the overwhelming sense to go to the bathroom. Apparently two hours ago just wasn't enough.

My scheduled C-section is in 3 hours and 50 minutes and we are to be at the hospital in 1 hour 35 minutes. There is nothing that anyone can say that makes me grasp what is really happening. The Mr. and I spent most of yesterday just laughing and repeating WOW. This is a life changing day, a day like no other. Our wedding was exciting but not to this magnitude, graduating college was great but doesn't hold a candle to this feeling.

We have been talking and trying and seeing doctor after doctor, we have had our hearts ripped out of our chests and had the 'hopeless' feeling, for the last 18 months. To be where we are, 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant, knowing she is still kicking and healthy, its mind-blowing.

This day I become a mother to a child that I get to love and teach for the rest of my life, that will look like me and say the silly things I do, who I will comfort and play with. She is changing my life forever and I am so thrilled.

The alarm is set to go off in less than an hour now, I will get up and fix my hair, try to draw a straight line with my eye liner and throw on waterproof mascara because this 'saur is HAVING A BABY!

The next few days will be in the hospital and my mother will be staying with me for the week to help, I will be sure to post as soon as I can.

6 days until baby gets here... for real.

Well well, this is my 6th to last day pregnant. After all the speculation and doctors appointments and talking...


Yes, we have a scheduled c-section because our dear daughter is a chunker. She was estimated to be around 9 pounds 11 oz (give or take a pound) This means the doctors no longer recommend attempting a vaginal delivery. Thats when my heart breaks a little and yes there were tears.

Of course I have been reading about natural drug free births and really wanted to test myself, my stamina, and proudly wear the badge of honor as I delivered my baby but thats not our story this time around.


I am disappointed and its a hard feeling to swallow because I don't want to feel disappointed when it is such a momentous time in our lives. BUT there was a a part of me excited for the labor, the waiting, the pushing, the commotion of "She's coming" 


My more stable mind (which has been on hiatus for weeks now) knows the risks far out weigh the common sense and everyone wants to play it safe with our lives. So that is exactly what we are going to do. 


We got the news around noon yesterday and its my nightly 3-4 am wake up time and I am still in a bubble about it. 


She is really coming, and I have a date a time? What. My home that has been filled with baby stuff is actually going to be put to use... next week? It so unreal. 


I am trying to take it one day at a time because my brain just cannot comprehend whats coming. Tonight was supposed to be when we signed the contract with the sitter but our first pet cat is sick again and the Mr. is pretty bummed about it so I don't want to push him tonight to hurry up and deal with the cat thing so we can deal with the sitter thing. Its a rough week for him, all these crazy emotions flying around. 


We also waited until the absolute last minute to choose a pediatrician, I have an appointment with them Monday afternoon. They scheduled a prenatal visit for me, what that entails, I will soon find out. 


And Monday is pretty much where my brain stops. It has yet to go beyond that date so for now, yea I will leave it at that. 

Giveaway - Goodies from Fairhaven Health!

We recently reviewed four awesome products sent to us by Fairhaven Health (check out Belly to Breast, their new Facebook page for pregnant/nursing moms), and they've generously given us some goodies to giveaway as well!


The Goodies
The lucky winner can select any TWO (2) of the following products:

Click on the links for more info directly from Fairhaven Health, or here and here to read our reviews:

• Pregnancy Plus Prenatal Vitamins
• Dream Belly Stretch Mark Cream
• Tea-for-Two Pregnancy Tea
• Healthy Mom, Happy Baby Yoga DVD

How To Enter
You can enter up to three (3) times:

• check out Fairhaven's site and tell us your favorite product
• blog about this giveaway
• tweet about this giveaway

Make sure you leave a separate comment for each entry!

The Rules

• the giveaway will end Friday, December 9 at midnight (Pacific Time)
• the giveaway is open to USA residents only

The winner will be randomly selected and announced in a new post the next day - so make sure you check back in! 

THE GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED - THANKS ALL FOR ENTERING! 

Still cooking.

So baby is still in there, I am 38 weeks and last week was admitted to the hospital for dehydration. Never a dull moment. Baby is good, still cooking, she is measuring 41 weeks and we go for an ultrasound tomorrow and we will ultimately have to make the decision of what is best for both of us and getting her out.

I have cried a few tears about my natural birth that is turning into a medical procedure. But I can't control it, as long as she is healthy.

This weekend is turning into a "just us" weekend, this may be the last few days that our family will be two so I want to cherish this time.

For now I am trying to work while working thru contractions and this dizzy spell I have had all day.

Getting very anxious to meet our little girl.

Review: Tea-for-Two Pregnancy Tea and Healthy Mom, Happy Baby Yoga DVD!

At Pregosaur, we're big fans of natural products for TTC, pregnancy, and beyond - and one of our favorite companies, Fairhaven Health, generously sent Jerseysaur four of their amazing products to review.

We previously posted reviews of two products and the second two are below...and later this week, there just might be a giveaway!

Tea-for-Two Pregnancy Tea

This tea is a loose leaf tea blend especially designed for pregnant women, and I love that it's made with all-natural organic ingredients! These are:

• Strawberry leaf: nourishes and tones the uterus and provides key vitamins, minerals, and alkaloids that promote a healthful pregnancy
• Alfalfa: high in nutritive vitamins and minerals, including Vitamin K. which is critical to a healthy pregnancy 
• Dandelion leaf: helps to eliminate excess water from the system to ease fluid retention, excellent source of potassium, calcium and iron
• Oatstraw: calms the nervous system to alleviate stress and tension
• Ginger root: assuages nausea and eases morning sickness symptoms
• Lemon verbena: provides refreshing, zesty flavor.

You brew the tea by steeping one teaspoon of the blend in hot water for five minutes. It has a very light, mild flavor, and if you prefer a sweeter tea, you could add a little honey.


Healthy Mom, Happy Baby Yoga DVD

I loved this DVD! Yoga is highly recommended as a form of exercise for pregnant women, and the exercises were gentle and easy to follow. I also liked the ongoing references to the baby (since exercise involves both of you when you're pregnant!).

I felt so relaxed at the end of the session, and so connected with my body and my baby. I like knowing that my flexibility and strength are improving, and that helps me have the healthiest pregnancy I can!

Stay tuned for the giveaway!

Surfacing....

It's been a busy few months around the Eiresaur house. We moved to a new country, I started working, and we finally got health insurance! Woohoo! With all of these new things, unfortunately, one of them is not a pregnancy. With our newly acquired health insurance we were finally able to start fertility treatments in October. Samples of all sorts were given and from the outset the doctor seemed to think we'd be successful doing an IUI. Well...

• The swabs came back positive for a bacterial infection - DH and I were put on antibiotics.
• I had an HSG. - It came back inconclusive because the muscles around my tubes contracted so badly that it didn't show pooling (aka blockage), nor did it go all the way through the end of the tube. - If needed again, I'll be taking stronger drugs!
  
• The blood came back showing I was in grey area for immunity to German Measles. - I was revaccinated and we're currently in the 4 week waiting period.
• DH's semen sample tested positive for E.coli. That's right, E.coli. - DH put on more antibiotics.
• DH's semen analyses (he's had two) are not great. The second was worst than the first. In the second one the volume was so low they wouldn't have done an IUI with it. - Referred to a urologist. - Nurse pronounces that it's okay, because we can still do IVF with ICSI! Dollar signs are swirling around my head while I hear this.
  
• Urologist discovers DH only has one vas deferens and he's missing his left kidney. - Apparently this shouldn't affect his fertility (stuff is actually coming through per semen sample), but it's a little freaky nonetheless.
• Next up is me being retested for the bacterial infection and retested for the German measles immunity. DH had blood drawn at the urologist and he has a follow-up appointment next in 3 weeks. He also needs to do another S/A to be the 'tie-breaker'.
  

My dream is that DH's volume miraculously goes up. Our insurance covers IUI, but not IVF. We'd have to do some serious shifting around to make that happen.

I've been hesitant to post all of this, mainly because this is a blog for pregnant people, not infertiles. Each month I hope that I can actually come on here to announce good news, but who knows if that will ever happen. :(

1.5 cm dilated

I have been experiencing contractions that started on Saturday, those were painless contractions and I was so unsure of what they really were. I had my weekly doctors appointment yesterday and told her that they are getting worse, they are keeping me up at night and getting tighter. She did a cervix check and I am 1.5 cm dilated and 25% effaced, things are moving in the right direction. I have vomited everything I have eaten yesterday, I am starting to get hungry but then I get so nauseous and start burping like crazy. Things seem to be happening.

I can't believe it.

We found a sitter!

Wow, days are flying so fast I can't keep up. First good news, we have been interviewing sitters for the past few weeks and I think we found one!! What a journey that has been, I really feel like it was dating again, except for my unborn child. My husband and I were looking for a stay at home mom (SAHM) to care for her as we enjoy the home atmosphere, the more individualized attention and interaction with other age children. So we met with one woman last night and she met all of our needs, she is a registered daycare provider, she is eco-friendly, loves to give the kids new types of food and has tons of learning activities all around the house. She will work very closely with us and I felt safe with her. We just clicked. I got her name on a Mommies forum (check online to see if they have one near you) and she was everything we have been looking for.

In other news Thursday - my doctor day - went well, I have gained 10 pounds in the pregnancy thus far which is great. (Keep in mind I had two miscarriages and my weight fluctuated with each one, so I am not an emaciated looking preggo) Baby is good, she is still measuring 3 weeks ahead and this doctor seemed so unconcerned by her size she pushed back the ultra sound to December 1. At that point we will have a better understanding of whats going on with her, that is unless she decides to show up early.

We are working on getting her room finished and I am DETERMINED to pack our hospital bags this weekend. I keep saying it but not doing it.

Our due date is exactly one month from today!! HOLY COW!

C-Section talk - Wash your mouth out!

I can't believe its Friday again, its the wee hours of the morning and my bed and I are not getting along. We have consistently been getting home around 9pm all week, so my house is a disaster and I am just worn out but I can't bear to lay down. My legs are restless, my stomach is in the way and I cannot find a comfortable position.

The weekly checkup was yesterday morning, it was fine. I met with a doctor I normally don't. They recommend that in the event you get whoever is on call when you are about to deliver. It was a He. Really no biggie at this point, it seems like everyone has seen me pants off lately but he just didn't know me, asked questions all about my gestational diabetes and as he was walking out he says something about having a big baby and that it looks like we are heading towards a c-section.

Mmmm. Excuse me. What was that, I must have misheard you. Of course I smile and nod, holding back my tears and as soon as the door closes I lower my head and just start crying. My baby is growing quickly, I know she is big for her gestational age, but really is this what everyone is thinking and you were just the first to say it. Now I have really just surrendered myself to the fact that pregnancy is like nothing else you can expect. It doesn't happen on the first try, it doesn't seem to go to the way you think and you sure as hell can't plan anything to do with it. Knowing those things I have not put together a "birth plan" per say but I had an idea of how I would like the birth to be and a c-section was never really in that picture. I would like to labor at home for as long as I can, I would like to see how my body acts, if I want an epidural I will get one, if I feel like I can do it on my own I want to. Now you are telling me to skip steps 1 and 2 and go straight to 3.

I clearly didn't like that answer.

I will be talking to the next doctor next Thursday to hopefully get a different answer. I will go for an ultrasound in a week and a half-ish to check her size again and from there we will have a better understanding of what the next step is. The Mr. thinks they may take me then but at this point who knows.

Cooking a big baby

I am 33 weeks and 5 days, I am so thankful to have made it to this point with all the bumps along the way. I had my bi-weekly check up yesterday and the doctor measured me again. I am measuring at 36 cms which is a few weeks ahead of schedule. They noticed this about a month ago and sent us for the ultrasound then. The tech estimated her at 4.5 pounds, so I can only imagine she is larger than that now. The doctor suggested I start coming in once a week and we will keep an eye on her size. They also are concerned about the gestational diabetes playing a factor in her becoming a plump baby.

So pretty much at this point 1. Dr said if I go into labor they are not going to stop me and 2. depending on her size we may have to induce. Looking at a calendar if I am measuring 36 weeks now and ideally they would like me to get to 37 weeks according to my due date that brings us to November 20th. Thats about 4 weeks away. I can't even wrap my mind around it. The Mr. has been working late and we haven't even really had a chance to talk about it being I am asleep by the time he gets home and the mornings aren't time for serious conversation.

I feel like there is so much to do, I am excited and nervous and anxious at the same time. Her room is halfway there, we don't have a sitter lined up and if I have to be induced I most likely will also have an epidural. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I was just looking forward to at least trying to be as natural as possible.

My Gestational diabetes has been good, I submitted my weekly numbers to the counselor and she was pretty happy with them which is great. Thats another week I won't have to be on pills or shots.

I can definitely tell that she is running out of room, her movements are at some points sharp and I can feel every one of them.

But we are excited and its 9 pm which has pretty much been my bedtime and I am so sleepy. At least it is supposed to be a quiet weekend.

We are getting down to the wire

We are getting down to the wire and I am starting to feel the pressure. No not pressure - down there - but pressure to get things done and prepared. We had my second shower yesterday, my mother threw it and this is her first grandbaby so she went all out let me tell you! Here is a picture of the cake, EEK I love it!

 

The quality is not the greatest, I uploaded so quick to Shutterfly this morning just so I could have some to show. I have done 0 retouching so maybe I will show more later but AWW isn't it so cute! Special thanks to the Pink Cake Box in Denville NJ for an amazing job. 

I am feeling better about the amount of stuff we have for her arrival, we are very fortunate to have such loving friends and family. This weekend was the last time I will see my parents before she makes an appearance. WOW. We talked about phone trees and making sure I give them directions to the hospital. And here I sit not thinking about work (which is in the busiest quarter of the year) but rather about my baby. I have to learn to use my time for both. 

I did not have a Dr.s appointment last week, which means I should have one this week. And we start baby classes on Wednesday. The weeks are jumbling together and I am starting to freak. 

Sleep is sometimes good sometimes not. Last night I woke up a bunch due to the round ligament pains again, I have not had them in a while and she must have grown a little last night because boy did I feel them. 

All in all, I know my body is getting ready and I know she is growing like she should. All wonderful things. I am getting myself mentally prepared for what is going to happen to me here soon. My mind and body are on two different wavelengths - my mind is FREAKING OUT and my body just says "I got this". I need both to be in sync. I don't think I have discussed this yet but everyone asks the question about getting pain meds, or an epidural. Pretty much its been the one question since week 20 that everyone asks. My answer has been the same since then; if I want it I will take it but if I feel like I can handle it I will. I am fully aware it is no walk in the park, it is called labor for a reason. I just know there are millions of women for the last millions of years who have done this time and time again and I can too.

32 weeks - 8 months officially

Well well we read our latest week in the What to Expect book and we have entered our 8th month. And boy can I feel it. I am so beat halfway thru the day and I feel like I am carrying an extra hundred pounds. My stomach is expanding at such a rate my skin can't keep up, my stretchmarks have stretchmarks. I thought I was good there for a little bit but then BAM, even more and they hurt, itch and seem like they I have broken blood vessels from them. It really is awful but the Mr. is good about telling me he doesn't care about them and that I can use these to make baby girl remember where she came from.

We had our first shower yesterday, it was so very exciting. I could not believe it was for me! It was very quiet and simple, we received some books, clothes, bath items and a car seat base. Very helpful in starting our baby collection. Our house is filling up with her stuff so quickly.

I am secretly checking our registry to see if anyone purchases the chair we want. Fingers crossed.

I feel pregnant, I feel big and pregnant. Its 2pm and I could use a nap or a large pot of coffee. Neither of which I can get right now. Bummer.

Sleeping is still difficult, I get kicked and I am up, her head rests on my bladder and I am up, I try to switch which side I am sleeping on and that is a task. I was so happy to get 6 straight hours Saturday night. Work is harder to stay focused on because I am so damn tired.

A few more weeks till we meet our baby girl. We are still interviewing sitters and I am at the doctor every other week so the days just fly by.

Gestational Diabetes Update & Ultrasound Picture

I will first update with the Gestational Diabetes as I went to the diabetes clinic on Friday. I met with a very friendly nurse who gave me my meter for testing and explained that we are going to try to combat this with diet first and see how that goes. Pretty much what is going on is my body is not creating enough insulin to fight off the sugar in my blood, that can be bad because baby will be receiving more sugar than needed and can lead to a larger birth weight baby.

 So I started pricking my finger and testing my blood Friday morning, I have to test four times a day. First thing when I wake up, and an hour after each meal. My pattern so far has been to have a higher number after breakfast than I do the rest of the day. I have also noticed that the more exercising I do (i.e. walking all around the Bills/ Eagles football game yesterday) the lower my numbers are. It is quite interesting to see how what you eat and what you do directly effect your body.

As for now they are having me control this by diet, no extra suggary stuff, careful with the carbs, under 30g a meal and try not to over-do it. All of which can be done, plus this will just make me get in the habit of what I am eating so after she is hear and Weight Watchers calls my name I will be pretty used to it. I have not been tracking my food in a journal just yet but have made notations next to my numbers if they have been high. I am supposed to have a blood sugar number of under 130 an hour after every meal, Saturday morning I had a bowl of Cheerios and an hour later it was at 132. So I know I have to limit my intake of milk early in the day. Bummer because cereal and milk have been my staple this whole pregnancy but I will do whatever it takes.

 My last appointment the doctor measured me and told me I was measuring about 3 weeks ahead and sent me for an ultrasound this morning to get a weight on the baby. Our little pumpkin measured at 33 weeks and 4 days (just about 3 weeks ahead) and 4.5 pounds. That is crazy. They do not change the due date as it helps to keep track of the lung development (learn something new everyday!) but they will keep an eye on us to make sure she doesn't get too big. This appointment and this news sent me into an anxiety frenzy. I feel not ready yet, work is getting crazy busy as the fourth quarter is our insane time. I work in a health insurance brokerage so our busiest time is right around my due date. She is head down already which is great and they measured my cervix, 5.25 cm which is also very wonderful. We confirmed she is a she and got to listen to her heartbeat again.

I have perma-grin on my face lately as we were able to see her little face in 3D and I am just reassured that everything is going okay. Below is our baby girl, aww! I know right!

Review: Pregnancy Plus Prenatal Vitamins and Dream Belly Stretch Cream!

At Pregosaur, we're big fans of natural products for TTC, pregnancy, and beyond - and one of our favorite companies, Fairhaven Health, generously gave us four of their amazing products to review. We'll post two reviews now and two later - and then there just might be a giveaway!

Here's what Jerseysaur had to say about the Pregnancy Plus Prenatal Vitamins and Dream Belly Stretch Mark Cream...

At first glance I was thrilled at the size of these nutrient packed vitamins - they are almost half the size of the other vitamins I have been taking so far. I compared the label to my current vitamins to see what is in this bottle that may be different. I was quite surprised with what I found - these vitamins have a few more ingredients and are quite consistent with the daily percent value. I have always wondered what going over the limit means to me, but these don't seem to over-do it while maintaining the 100% value across the board.

I also have been having little to no nausea with these pills on a full or empty stomach, which to anyone who has had morning sickness (or whole pregnancy sickness) that can be a real lifesaver!

I do have to say one thing I REALLY love about this brand is how natural all the products are. I am constantly thinking about what I put in that my baby gets to share with me and I am really pleased to know that these vitamins are nourishing us both naturally.

Look at the Dream Belly Stretch Mark Cream bottle, how pretty! I am a sucker for shelf appeal and package design, its nice to see some flair when I am dealing with stretch marks. As I have developed a much larger belly in the past few months, I have those mommy battle scars and as much as I would love to see them go they are with me forever now. I have been moisturizing since day one and will continue to constantly lather up as we get closer to the big day, but if I have my choice of creams on my night stand I have been turning to this one more frequently.

The best thing about this cream is the fruity smell - I peeked at the ingredients and saw grapefruit extract, which is so soothing. The list of ingredients is chock full of oils and butters which makes it feel so silky smooth. I recently have started learning more about the powers of natural oils and am so glad to see a few familiar names that are in this lotion to help repair my skin.

This product will take some time to see how it fairs in the last few weeks but so far so good. The non-chemically smell and thickness of the lotion really make it a great choice to have some bonding time with me and my baby belly.

Stay tuned for the next two reviews and the giveaway!

No Shots For Me!

Hello World, I have emerged from my rock. I finally have shaken this head cold thing. Thank goodness! Never did I know that a tiny little cold would rock my world like this one. It really is true that when your sick and pregnant its a whole lot worse.

I was asked at my last appointment if I wanted the flu vaccine, now I had this cold so they wouldn't give it to me anyway. At least thats what the paperwork said but I declined. I have not been faced with this decision before so I had about four minutes to think about it while I was changing from the waist down to have an internal exam. Even before pregnancies I have never received a shot so I thought to myself that I just would not start now and I really did not want it. I am sure others have been faced with this decision but its just one of those things where if I get the flu I will kick myself for not having the shot but if I don't I will be glad I declined.

This week has really been a wash for me, my house is a disaster and I have been in bed before nine most nights. I am determined to stay awake a little longer tonight as my dad and littlest sister are driving four hours to my house to drop off her old juvenile furniture then trekking to Vermont for a weekend in the mountains.

I am meeting with the diabetes center tomorrow morning to review a meal plan that they would like me on to combat the diabetes thing I have going on. I think I have been pretty good with my eating all week, I even tested it with a co-workers meter this morning. About two hours after I ate breakfast my blood sugar was at 84 which is perfect, so I just have to keep doing what I am doing I think. We will see, I will be sure to update you all after I talk with the nurse/nutritionist lady.

Fail, Pass, Fail..

I feel like I have fallen off the face of the earth. Sorry about that everyone. My body has been fighting off a cold and its kicking my butt. I am normally not a complainer and I will weather the storm but I went home early yesterday and slept for hours. That means I am sick sick. Bummer.

Well I can happily say that camping can be enjoyed 29 weeks pregnant. There were a few moments i.e. rolling of of the air mattress was difficult, traveling back and forth to the bathrooms a million times, and  the hills oh the hills. But for the most part the weather was nice and warm, it rained a little but not too bad. Everyone commented on what a trooper I was, I felt good about that but its one of the last times we will all be together before our little one arrived and I wanted that.

Last week I also went for my glucose screening and I got a call from the doctor yesterday. Bad news bears. I failed two of the three hours of my test. For those who don't know or have not experienced this super awesome test before, the take your blood, give you a drink that is really sugary and then test your blood every hour on the hour for three hours. I asked the doctor what my numbers were as 1. I am curious about my health 2. Although I may not be a doctor I feel I have a right to know. The doctor told me my fasting was at 91 which is perfect, before I got pregnant a while back I used a friends glucose screening kit because I wanted to know what it was and it was 97 so not much has changed on that end. She then went on to tell me that my one hour was 197, it was supposed to be under 180. FAIL. My second hour was 146, it is supposed to be below 155. Pass!!! And my third was 165, it is supposed to be under 140. FAIL.

So as I explained this to my husband and my mother this is whats going on in my body.

Pregnancy hormones can block insulin from doing its job. When this happens, glucose levels may increase in a pregnant woman's blood.

You are at greater risk for gestational diabetes if you:

• Are older than 25 when you are pregnant (I am 25)
• Have a family history of diabetes (Not that I know of)
• Gave birth to a baby that weighed more than 9 pounds or had a birth defect ( First pregnancy to term)
• Have sugar (glucose) in your urine when you see your doctor for a regular prenatal visit (did in the beginning, not since about 10 weeks)
• Have high blood pressure - (Have been in the normal range this whole pregnancy)
• Have too much amniotic fluid (Measured normal at my last Ultrasound)
• Have had an unexplained miscarriage or stillbirth (Have had two miscarriages in the first trimester)
• Were overweight before your pregnancy (My BMI classified me as overweight)
  
  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001898/
  
  
  The doctor told me that because my fasting level was normal and the results from this test she believes that I can manage this by my diet. I had the diabetes clinic call me this morning to schedule an appointment for next Friday. At this point in the pregnancy, I will have to watch what I am eating for 10 weeks, while probably gaining some great knowledge about food. Positive spin on it! 
  
  
  For now I am going to blow my nose, eat some more Zycam and poke around on Pintrest.com, my new obsession.

Booger Factory!!!!

At 10 weeks 6 days a common cold is a nightmare! Not being able to do anything but shoot saline spray up my nose and rub Vicks Vapor Rub on my chest stinks!!!! (Well not that I can smell anything.) I am a booger factory!!! It's disgusting!!! Just hearing myself blow my nose, all those nasty, slimy boogers flying into the tissue kicks in my gag reflex. Ick! Today I'm nauseated on top of it so I'm just a mess. But I went to work so I could save my days for when I'm gonna need them most.

Enough about boogers.

Since I heard the heartbeat and got to see my lil one in the ultrasound last week we are finally telling extended family members and people at out jobs. I let my bosses know Monday and they are all saying prayers for us. I was a little apprehensive about telling administration about my pregnancy because we are undergoing budget cuts and performance evaluations like crazy. I didn't want my pregnancy to be used against me, to be said that because I was pregnant and won't be around for end of the year testing that I shouldn't be allowed to stay in the position that I'm in. But I figured since I am already popping out and having to leave early or show up late for appointments that I needed to divulge in my secret. So far they are supportive and understanding. I'm just hoping for no or little complications to keep everything running smooth and can ride this pregnancy all the way to April!!!

P.S. Thanks Jerseysaur! I'm having a great time reading your posts! Hope your test went well.

three hour glucose screening

So I have to go for my three hour glucose screening tomorrow morning. Boo. I did not pass the one hour, I am slightly nervous that I won't pass. I don't have any issues but it would just be my luck.

My ribs are still killing me and I am exiting the honeymoon stage. I think I had my first braxton hicks contraction this week. My belly got all tight and slightly uncomfortable while in the grocery store, of course I was in the baking isle near cake so I may or may not have have placed a box of brownies in my cart.... Sue me!

Other than that, things are going well. I got my shower invite in the mail from my mother. YEA! It was really adorable, thank you Tiny Prints. I am so in love with the fact that its my baby shower.  Mine. All Mine. Well and babies but I have been to so many others and this time its all for my baby!

This crazy almost 30 week pregnant lady is going camping this weekend so I am sure I will have some fun stories when I return. It is our annual Clam-O-Rama as we call it, pretty much its all the old college buddies meet up and act like we are in college again. Its fun for a weekend of no cares and camping. My main concern is the air mattress. Hm. We will see. My belly doesn't seem to have grown much this week, but I have not seen these people in a few months so I am sure they will all be surprised.

Any-who I have my test tomorrow, wish me luck. I will post the results as soon as I know. But for now its off to the wilderness and there are s'mores with my name all over it.

P.S. Congrats Hungrysaur! I am so thrilled for you, keeping your family in my thoughts.

We heard and saw the HEARTBEAT!!!!

Friday was my doctor appointment and through the ultrasound we got to see the baby, see it's little heart beating and they turned on the sound so we could hear it! YAYYYYY! Finally. This is the furthest I've gotten since I gave birth to my son (10 years ago) so we are sooooo ecstatic and optimistic. I saw my doctor's Nurse Practitioner and she thinks I may have a shortened cervix which will get checked out again in 4 weeks and I may be a candidate for weekly progesterone shots once I hit 14-15 weeks. If I end up with a weakened cervix I may need to have a cerclage done (a procedure where the cervix is sewn together with a surgical stitch). If it comes to that and with the progesterone shots I pray I will carry to term.

I have a cold. I can't think right now but I had to share my good news. We're just taking this pregnancy day by glorious day. Back pain, stuffy nose, head cold, going potty all the time, already fat belly, every day that I don't see any kind of spotting, is a GREAT DAY! They are all signs that Baby is doing well!!! Keep the faith ladies!!!

Reminiscing about the past

This weekend was great, Mr. Jerseysaur and I cuddled in bed and giggled every time baby girl kicked. We entered our third trimester, it is so surreal. The last time I remember laying there with him, saying nothing but smiling was when we found out we were pregnant (the first time). This made my mind go back to that place and I just wanted to share some thoughts I had a year ago, I was so broken.

How much strength do I really have?

So I have still been numb to this situation, not really having much thoughts or hopes about anything. We had another cycle and now we are in the middle of the third one since the miscarriage. My cycles still are not back on track, I am not ovulating at the right time. Its just annoying. Mr. had a really good fortune last night with our Chinese food, it said "When Love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece".

I started to get teary about that. I am emotional I want this badly.

I have been down in the dumps lately and having negative thoughts. I just want to be happy again.

...

I can sympathize with everyone reading this blog and the struggles you have had or are having. I just wish to impress upon you that YOU are important and your relationships with the ones you love will strengthen you.

Look outside yourself to find others to help you, scream, rant and rave. For me I would lay on the horn of my car and scream, it worked. Let it out if you need to. There is a secret network of fantastic women who have been there and are so willing to hold your hand.

The daycare situation

Along with all this wonderful baby stuff I have to think about what we are doing with our baby once she gets here. Boo. For my family we need to have two incomes, which means this mama has to go back to work. Maternity leave is 6 weeks for normal deliveries or 8 weeks if it is a C-section. That means that I am going to leave my 6 week old with someone. That notion breaks my heart a little, I love that I have her all day with me and I am reminded with every wiggle and kick.

I have been putting this process off because I just don't want to do it. As the days click by and the Mr. asks where I stand on it I have to get going on it. (The Mr and I split large responsibilities, he is researching car seats and strollers and I get sitter duty.) So I have started to put my feelers out there, I am looking for a Stay At Home Mom who has a younger child and willing to take a newborn. I believe that my work will allow for some flexibility in my schedule so I can work from home two days a week.

This part is the pits. My heart hurts a little already and I haven't even given birth yet. The worst part is I am really looking for a stranger to raise my baby. My family lives out of state and my in-laws who are close all still work. I just hope that I can develop trust with this person right away, I need trust.

I will keep you posted on where we go from here. 

Monday Monday

Another week is here, another pain is present. I don't know that anyone can explain all of the crazy beautiful things happening to your body, experiencing it is so different.

Sleep is becoming more difficult. I feel like I need the 'wide load' sign because I have to sit up to turn over every time I want to switch positions. I also must drag my body pillow along for the ride, at that point I am more awake and trying to find a comfortable spot.

My newest friend is a pain in the ribs. Hmm, yes in the ribs. It started on my left side and today it is full force on both. I know it must be my belly stretching and making room but ouch!  I try to lean back in my office chair as much as possible to alleviate the natural forces of gravity.

It is hard for me to imagine my belly not being there. I so much enjoy feeling her move and kick, it is a constant reminder that she is doing ok. My fears and anxiety has decreased some now that I can feel her. We are 27 weeks as of yesterday, it is shocking to me that we have 13 weeks give or take and less than 100 days. There are so many things running thru my tired brain... daycare, nursery, traveling, cleaning. Its tough to keep it all straight when I feel so drained like I do today.

Maybe I worked it a little too hard this weekend. Maybe baby is just taking what she needs. Who knows.

And the winner of the Pre~Seed giveaway is...

Random.org gave us the winning numbers for our Pre~Seed giveaway...

Lucky number 1 was...

Congratulations Alex and Michelle! Send an email with your full name and address to pregosaur@gmail.com and we'll get your goodies in the mail to you ASAP.

Thanks to everyone for entering the giveaway! 


Note to our winner: please contact us within 7 days. If we don't hear from you, we will re-draw the prize. Thank you!

Pregnancy, you're mean...

It is about 5-am on the East Coast on a Saturday and I am wide awake.

Fifteen minutes ago I got to experience my second leg cramp of the pregnancy. It is unlike any charlie-horse I have ever had. Maybe it was because I was sleeping on my right side and my leg was low on blood or lack of water as we ate hibachi tonight. I did have about 40 ounces today which I know is not as much as I need but I was drinking water.

Whatever the case may be these cramps are horrendous. As I write this my leg is still throbbing. Its the same spot as last time too but much worse. My left calf tenses up so tight I want to cut it off. The first time this happened was a Friday night as well and it was bad but not wake up Mr. Jerseysaur bad. This time I cried, literal tears and hit him hard to wake up immediately and help. Not that there is much he can do but rub it, rub me, just be awake and see-how-much-pain-I-am-in kinda helps.

This muscle has a mind of its own. It was so tight, I am squirming around the bed trying to straighten it but it was rock solid. At least having the Mr. awake, he could feel how hard it was and I was not purposefully making it be like that. It reminds me slightly of when your older sibling or relative bully would make you say "uncle". I think I would prefer that game because I was screaming "uncle" from the second it started.

OH geez, it still is sore but the tightness is gone. I guess I will go sleep on my right side, drink more water, walk around. All in the hopes this monster does not return. Pregnancy your mean.

The Queen of England is Coming - Start Nesting!

Labor day weekend was more of a nesting weekend for this lady. The Mr. laughs at me but I can't help it. I get so anxious and have to get things done. Things I have never really cared about in the two years we have been at this house. I am vacuuming and re-vacumming, organizing and generally freaking out. Its amazing because I can't control it. I feel like my to-do list is a mile long. I do have to say that Mr. Jerseysaur  has been a great sport and I know he is putting up with a crazied hormonal woman. Yesterday we went to Walmart and Target and bought 10 frames to hang up in the hallway. Why... WHO KNOWS. Its something I have wanted to get done but it was never a priority, although yesterday it jumped to the top of the priority list and I could not stop until it was done.

I also started organizing our boxes from high school and making sure that the containers are water proof to put in the basement, the basement that I have to clean so I borrowed my father in laws shop vac to do that with. I am crazy.

With all this new found dirt I realize that I just don't have the energy to do it all. My growing belly really makes it difficult to bend over and be agile. I reminisce about the days when she was not living in there. We have less than 100 days until our due date now, I don't know if that's enough time to clean everything!

I feel like a 90 year old

I now have a 7-day pill box.
Never thought I'd need one of these until much later in my life but now I have one!
Why?

Well, because I have so many vitamins I need to to take each day and at the end of the day I can't ever remember if I actually took them or not. So, I figured this would help me out and it has! I'm actually loving it!

So what vitamins am I taking?

• Prenatal
• Vitamin D
  
• B12
• DHA
  
• (You can get prenatal w/DHA- but I like the prenatal I use so I don't want to switch)
• And 2 tums a day for calcium

So that is why I now feel like a 90 year old.

Facelift

As you may have noticed, we've given Pregosaur a new look!

Our goals were to make the blog cleaner, fresher, and easier to navigate, and we think we've achieved all of those things...but what do YOU think? Love it? Hate it? Poke around and let us know!

Losing Sleep

I am not a sound sleeper as it is and now with the thoughts of our baby fate in my head sleep is even harder to come by.

We have to make a choice. We have to decide what method is going to be our next step. Do we choose IUI? Do we choose egg freezing? Do we choose IVF? How do you know what is good for you emotionally, physically and financially? Well, with a lot of thought and research and discussion.

I have endometriosis and listed above are the choices given to us by our RE. Our fabulous RE. I am so grateful to be working with such a confident, knowledgeable, kind person.

We are giving ourselves a couple of months to come to a decision before moving forward. This is grand yet difficult all at the same time.

Giveaway - TTC help with Pre~Seed!

I think it's time for another giveaway...don't you?!

The Prize
Our 'saurs are big fans of using Pre~Seed to give the TTC process a little help, and the awesome Pre~Seed company have generously given us a personal lubricant kit to pass on to one lucky winner!

The Goodies
One carton of Pre~Seed. (If you haven't heard of Pre~Seed before, click here to read all about the benefits!)

How to Enter
Tell us in the comments below how long you've been reading Pregosaur! Just started? A few months? Since the beginning of time? Let us know! 

The Rules

• only ONE entry per person, please
• the giveaway will end Sunday, September 11 at midnight (Pacific Time)
• the giveaway is open to USA residents only

The winner will be randomly selected and announced in a new post the next day - so make sure you check back in!

THE GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED - THANKS ALL FOR ENTERING!

Pregnancy is so Un-Sexy...

I love seeing the beautiful woman who have amazing bodies and look so adorable pregnant. They just look so cute! There are days in which I marvel at my growing belly and think that I look Oh So Cute, but then there are days like today.

Days that make pregnancy seem so un-sexy.It all started Tuesday when I was training a new hire at work, when I get up and it feels like I wet myself. I know exactly what it is and I am in disbelief because I am already wearing a panty liner. How can I have so much discharge that it leaks thru my liner onto my pants and in so much abundance that my pants are wet. I waddled myself into the bathroom to check out the situation, it looked like I took a cup of water and poured it on the inside of my pants. No one would notice but still, for real!

I got home from work late, Mr. Jerseysaur started dinner as I asked and I did a few chores. We ate, I finished the chores and sat down for the evening. Heading to bed my nose is stuffy and I keep trying to blow it, but no relief. I slather on the vicks and start snoring away. Until the baby started kicking and waking me up, I have to sit up turn myself over readjust the body pillow and blankets and try to nod back off.

Then I get up this morning and have a full blown Freddy Kruger nose bleed. It just would not stop. It was a pleasant sight, let me tell you.

Well I cleaned myself up and threw on a comfy maternity dress, walk into work and I get the "You look so cute Momma" comment a hundred times.

Thanks, because if you saw me two hours ago you would run for the hills! Haha.

As we all know when creating life your body does the strangest things, I actually had a scary symptom while driving home from work this week. I lost vision in my left eye. I held it closed and continued driving home. It lasted a short while and when I told the Mr. he was quite concerned. Luckily I had another 4 week checkup the next morning and told the doctor what happened. She told me to see a specialist sooner than later as this can be something more serious, i.e. signs of stroke, preeclampsia etc. I called the eye specialist and they saw me this morning bright and early, they ran a few tests, dialiated my eye and saw nothing wrong. The diagnosis for now, an optical migraine. If it happens again we will look further into it but for now I am ok.

I read the book by Jenny McCarthy "Belly Laughs" a few weeks ago on a plane ride home and it was so down to earth, so honest about the un-pleasantries of pregnancy. Its true, it is beyond wonderful and amazing but when you can't get to that one point to shave for weeks and you finally get a glimpse of the braid-able patch on the back of your leg, you can't help but laugh.

Emotions

The weeks seem to fly by, I can't get a grip on it. In one breath I am so excited that its closer to meeting my baby but then my anxiety kicks in and I realize I am not ready yet.

My rational mind tells me that babies don't need much, just mom and dad. I think about the time I will have once she gets here and the ability to get things done, I know that will be severely limited.

This whole process has been such a roller coaster of emotions. We have been thinking about babies for over a year now, hoping and waiting and praying. We are completely on board with the fact that we are having a baby, I think we just have never been to the point of pregnancy that it starts to become a reality.

Husband has to work today so I got to sit around and watch the documentary "Babies" this morning. Of course I had a few moments of tears and some good laughs. If you have not seen this yet, go check it out. Babies are amazing. Humans are amazing. It blows my mind to think about the person I am growing, the little life that will smile, talk, walk and someday give me a run for my money. This documentary was a story of several babies first year all around the world. The language of baby is all the same. Watching these little beings learning and growing, its spectacular.

I sat there holding my belly, feeling baby kick and I am so full of joy. Ask me a year ago how I felt and joy would not have been in the first hundred words. I don't have any rational yet for the miscarriages, they are still painful. Time will heal and so will the life I am creating.

This emotional roller coaster is no where near over. I envision the day she enters the world and how I will feel.

Chiropractic Care and Pregnancy

Ever since college when I would lug around 50 pound bags of camera equipment I have been visiting a chiropractor. They have been very helpful in treating the discomfort and generally making me feel much better.

I am a holistic type of patient, I would much rather have you fix me without cutting me open!

About a month ago I started getting this clicking noise in my lower back when I would walk. I could only imagine it was from the growing baby moving some things around. I was also having pains down my legs, I needed to figure out what to do asap. I headed into the Chiropractor and I really did not think anything of it. I knew they could fix the clicking. Of course with a few simple adjustments and some new pillows and boards to avoid pushing on me while laying on my stomach I was done with the clicking.

I have been asked several times by many different people: "OH dear you go to a Chiropractor, AND your PREGNANT". I just smile and nod because they don't know what they are missing. I have done my research and all of the doctors remind me how we need to work together regarding discomforts and getting things in place now; I feel completely comfortable with the process.

Some tips if you are interested:
1. Go talk to a doctor, they are doctors and all of them train on how to adjust those who are expecting.
2. Do your own research, find a doctor you like. Ask around.
3. Go in with an open mind. It may take a few visits before things start lining up, but keep at it.
4. Be vocal, if it is uncomfortable or causing you pain tell them. They will gladly try another technique, you just have to let them know.
5. Recognize the changes in your whole body, not just your tummy and be in tune with it. There are some incredible things happening and some uncomfortable things, so get the discomforts fixed now to give you more time to enjoy your baby.

A few sites that may be useful:
http://www.americanpregnancy.org
http://www.acatoday.org

I got a +HPT!!!!!

I have to catch you all up since I haven't posted in a few months.

Back in May I had a HSG test done......boy was that just about the most uncomfortable thing!!!! It's a quick procedure and after it was done I only had minor cramps & just a bit of spotting. But as that dye was shot into and moving through my tubes & uterus, I can't say exactly that it was painful just extremely uncomfortable. The doctor, an Endocrinologist, said that everything looked great, that there were no blockages in my tubes and my uterus was shaped fine. Knowing I should be happy that there's nothing wrong with me, it was and is frustrating to not have answers when I keep losing my babies.

I got the green light from my OB to start trying again when I was ready. After my D&C in March he had given me a 3 month perscription for birth control which I decided to finish out. I decided I needed to take care of me before I trying again. By working out & eating better, I ended up "The Biggest Loser" in our weight loss contest at work, losing 9lbs in 5 weeks!!!! During the rest of May, June and July I just watched what I ate and pretty much stayed on my workout regime, losing another 5lbs. Pat on my back!

July 10th is my CD1. Between CD12-15 I had spotted lightly (ovulation?). Mr. Hungrysaur and I BD on CDs 8, 10 and 15. On CD18 I had light bleeding when I wiped (implantation spotting?). My period should have started August 6th, that date had come and gone without event. So finally about a week and a half later I took a HPT and it came up positive!!!!

This next week I will go to the Dr to do a pregnancy test to make it all official so I can schedule my 1st doctor visit. I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow. I feel great!!!! I'm super tired and my tatas are sore but other than that I feel fabulous!!! I feel like I did when I carried my son so I'm crossing all my body parts that that's a good sign. The last 3 pregnancies when I miscarried it seemed like there was something wrong almost right from the beginning. Even one of my buddies told me the other day that I look healthier this time around than I did the other times. Hoping & praying.

Now that I've caught up I promise to keep in touch & give regular updates (even if things go bad.) Thanks everyone for staying with me. I know there are others like me out there who keep miscarrying when all the tests show we're "normal". Hang in there ladies. Hopefully we all get our happily ever afters soon.

Introducing Jerseysaur

Hello everyone! I am a new blogger to Pregosaur and I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jerseysaur and I am 23 weeks pregnant today.

Like so many other strong beautiful women out there, the road to get to this point was not easy. Before I get into the details let me set up the story for ya... My husband and I met in college in New York and have been together ever since. He proposed to me before my senior year of college as he had already graduated and I knew this was the person I wanted to spend my life with and start a family with someday. We married two years after that and closed on our first home three days before our wedding. The first year of marriage were trials and tribulations associated with picking out countertops and light fixtures. We renovated the whole house before we moved it, at this point babies were not on the forefront of our mind.

After our first anniversary when things started to settle we decided to stop birth control. EEK. For me it was quite emotional and such a change in thoughts, for so long it was "Please NO" and now it was "Pretty Please Yes".

We got pregnant three months after getting off our birth control. I remember thinking how easy it was and how beyond excited we were. We decided to wait to tell our families in person and were seeing them around the 8 week mark. The evening before we were to leave I started spotting and passing clots, at 3am I woke up with labor pains in my back. I passed our baby shortly after. It has been a year since that date. We never got to tell our family we were even pregnant.

Of course we were heartbroken, it made our marriage stronger and we pushed thru. We waited the few months the doctors told us to and tried again. Months of nothing. As the new year turned, my depression was rearing its ugly head and we decided to start testing. I had an HSG, everything looked good, they said I may have had a blockage but the procedure could have cleaned it out. The husband had his sperm checked and that was all normal. I started Clomid that month and it worked again. We were excited but hesitant. This pregnancy did not last long either. Again heartbroken, I screamed and cried. I saw a side of myself I never saw. I had hit rock bottom. I was angry, so very angry. The doctor told us we could try again if we were up to it the next month with no pills or we could wait.

Well as crazy as I was, there was NO waiting. My husband actually had to have surgery the week I was ovulating and I was so upset. We were forced to hold off but that didn't stop us, we had to have sex at least once. Shortly after we went on vacation to Washington DC with clomid in tow, only to have AF never show up. I took a cheap test down there and saw a faint line. Of course I did not believe it at all. Gave it a few days and took a digital test to see the word 'Yes'. I was in disbelief. For real?!?!

The first 12 weeks were Hell, I went to the doctor and had my blood tested. So far so good. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. How was this possible. At the first trimester screening we saw our baby moving and jumping around so quickly the pictures are all blurry. I cried so hard. This was actually it.

My world has flipped inside, outside and backwards in the last 365 days. I sometimes have the 'this is too good to be true' feeling and up until recently would check the TP for blood after going to the bathroom. Now that I can feel our baby girl move, its at a whole new level.

I thank you for reading my story and look forward to sharing the rest of this journey with all of you. ♥

We're "normal"

I've been a bad bad blogger. I'm sorry about that and I feel bad for not keeping you posted on our journey, because maybe you can relate, and maybe my words can bring you comfort.

It's been two months since we started testing and seeing more doctors to get the help we need in order to bring home the baby we so desire. It's been a rough summer for me. I've had a hard time dealing with the testing and the results all come back as normal.... which is great! Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that things are coming up as such, but it doesn't help the level of frustration I feel.

Our Reproductive Endocrinologist is awesome! I am so thankful to be working with her. Her office is quick to call back, answer my questions and everyone is so kind which makes meeting with many doctors and nurses so much easier.

It is hard to not think about what we did to deserve to be going through something like this and it is even more difficult when people you start talking about this with respond with "it will happen" "maybe your stressed" "stop thinking about it" "you're young" I would almost rather them say nothing at all. I would also just like to scream or grunt in their face, but instead I smile and change the subject.

It is crazy to think about how infertility affects 1 in 8 couples. Just the fact that you have a 20% chance each month of getting pregnant is mind boggling. I mean we hear about people getting pregnant all the time, so why should it be any different for those of us having such a hard time?

Our time will come, this I know. I just wish I knew when so then maybe, just maybe, I can feel ok about the journey we find ourselves on.

Pregosaur needs YOU!

We're currently looking for new 'saurs to join the blog! You'll need to be:

• Actively trying to conceive, currently pregnant or adopting
• Willing to share the details of your journey (even the TMI ones!)
• Committed to posting a couple of times per week
• Able to write for an audience (if you currently blog, include a link so we can take a look - it's OK if you don't, you just need the ability to compose a compelling post and keep a reader's attention - include a draft post or two so we can check out your writing style)

If that sounds like you, send an email telling us a bit about yourself to pregosaur@gmail.com - we can't wait to hear from you!

Still waiting

So now I am in complete emotional state, I am waiting for my period in order to go in to get some tests done with my fertility doctor, but my period isn't here yet. Of course when we were "trying" this month I kept thinking how great would it be to not have to go through all the fertility treatments (only because we already did it once- well twice) and at one point I had a pinkish discharge (I told my hubby that night that it was from implantation:)). Now here we are 5 days after I should have gotten my period with nothing. I did take a pregnancy test yesterday, but it was negative. My hubby told me I just need to relax and wait, easier said than done. I've been feeling nauseous in the morning but that could be psychological, right? and still we wait...

The testing has begun

Since it has been more than a year we started further testing. The Mr. went in for a semen analysis and the results came back good! We are thankful for that!

This week I'll go in for an HSG, which a test where they inject dye into the uterus to see if there is any blockage. From here we'll discuss the next plan of attack.

I didn't think we'd get to this point, yet here we are. Still hoping, and dreaming and working hard to get a family of our own.

First of many tests

Our fertility doctor wanted us to have some routine tests done before we proceed with fertility treatments. The first was the semen analysis (I can't do my tests until after I get my next period), but hubby went in and we patiently waited for the results. After about 5 days the results were in our online portal and the results were not what we were hoping and praying for. The first time around my husband's sperm tested low for motility and morphology and here we were 2 years later with the same results, low motility and morphology. I was saddened, I guess I was hoping and praying there would be some miraculous change and his sperm would be better and we could proceed to IUI instead of the more evasive IVF. I was crushed, but there is nothing to do but move forward. IVF allowed us to become parents to our sweet brown-eyed girl and we are now looking at doing the same thing again. And now we wait again for my period, which I have been praying wouldn't come:) because then we wouldn't have to go through all this again. So we wait again.

All leading up to our consult

The last few weeks as I waited impatiently for our consult appointment, I have been reflecting on our lives up to this point. I remember prior to being married having a conversation with a friend about not knowing what I would do if it wasn't easy for me to get pregnant, I would be heartbroken and I was. The emotions are never ending and that is how I was the past two weeks. I looked at my sweet brown-eyed girl and I felt love like I have never loved before and I thought about what would our lives be like with more children and how would my brow-eyed girl be affected. I know I was meant to be a mom, my husband tells me that all the time, I've felt that all my life. I couldn't wait to be a mom, I just didn't think it would be this hard. I didn't think it would be this hard to conceive and this hard to look at my sweet brown eyed girl and not know if she will have a brother or sister to grow up with.

I anxiously hoped maybe this month it will work:), maybe we won't have to go through all this again, but I am ready to go through it again. As we drove to our appointment I was excited and I was sad. After checking in and waiting a bit, we went in to our doctor's office. This was the man who we owed so much to, he gave us the chance to become parents. I walked in and shook his hand and he looked at my sweet brown-eyed girl and she just smiled. He asked how my pregnancy was and tears started.

I'm not sure why I started crying, well I do know I cry so much more than I have ever before since going through all this fertility. It's not tears of pain or sadness, it's tears or happiness. After talking about where we were and what we had to do, we decided that we needed to have some tests taken, he wanted a semen analysis from my husband and then some blood work for ovarian reserve and an ultrasound of my uterus and then we can decided where we would go from there. I have to wait til the start of my next period before I can go in for my tests and when we have the results we will look at where we should go, IUI or IVF. We thanked him for his time and shook hands and walked out of his office only to see my sweet brown-eyed girl's picture up in his office hallway from her birth announcement and the tears came again. and now we wait...

Next appointment scheduled

It's been awhile since I last posted..... mostly because there is nothing new going on. Each month passes with no second line showing up on the pregnancy test. The days seem to blend into each other and before I know it weeks have passed without a post from me!

We have another appointment scheduled for early June to visit with the doctor to talk about the next steps. I'll update after that appointment!

Until then, I wish those of you trying for a baby luck! :-)

we had to cancel our appointment

Saturday morning we had an appointment at our Fertility doctor and unfortunatley we were under the weather. I had really hoped my husband would have been able to "suck it up" so we didn't have to reschedule the appoinment, but he was really sick so I rescheduled it. I was upset because it meant waiting another 3 weeks (which was the earliest weekend appointment I could get) and then moving forward from there. I had hoped to schedule a semen analysis too but the nurse said we couldn't do that until we saw the doctor first. I will keep you posted as we find out more and as another month passes (each month I hope it will happen naturally on it's own:))

I am so excited!

I am so excited to be a "Saur" I have been reading this Blog as I struggled with our infertility story. I married my best friend and we always knew we would have a family. We started right away and after 6 months nothing was happening, as everyone around me was getting pregnant and having babies, we weren't. We gave it a few more months and then I asked my OB/GYN and she gave me the number to a fertility doctor to go see. I was nervous, I was confused, I was overwhelmed. Why me? Why us? We take for granted how easy it is to get pregnant and many didn't speak of their struggles if they were having any. I remember my mom and friends telling me to "stop thinking about it so much and it will happen on it's own" How frustrating was that, though they weren't trying to be, but how do you stop thinking about it? I couldn't.

So we scheduled an appointment after giving it a few more shots:) When we met with the doctor I was immediately relieved as he went through everything and what our next steps were. I knew we would have our family eventually. We did some testing, HSG test for me (which came back all clear) and then the semen analysis for my husband. We found out that my husband's sperm was low in morphology and motility and that we needed some help in order to conceive. Our choices were AI or IVF, he looked at it as the less aggressive and the aggressive methods and told us that it would be better to take the aggressive method which was IVF. So we scheduled everything to start the IVF process. I remember reading as much as I could about what the medications could do to me, emotionally and physically. We were ready and in September '08 we did IVF#1 (yup it's #1 because it didn't work). To explain what it felt like to go through that was very difficult. To tell people (who knew and supported us) each time that it didn't work was so hard. It was going through it all over again.

So then the question came would we do it again. It was physically, emotionally and financially draining. It brought my husband and I closer, but further apart, if that makes sense. We decided to change a few things when it was time to do IVF#2. We decided we would do acupuncture this time. A friend told me about it and I did some reading and both my husband and I went weekly to see our acupuncturist. We also decided that this time around we wouldn't tell anyone that we were going to do it again. It was too hard the first time and if IVF#2 didn't work it would just be us who would know. We did IVF #2 in April =09 and in May '09 we found out we were pregnant:) It was the most unbelievable feeling. In January '10 we had our sweet blessing, our baby girl. Our lives were filled with joy, tears, stress:), sleep depravation, LOVE and so much more.

Here we are 15 months later back to the drawing board, since we haven't been able to conceive naturally. I kept hoping it was because I was pumping and not because we couldn't. We are meeting with our fertility doctor this weekend to discuss where we are at and what we should do. Once again I am nervous and stressed and this time because scheduling things with a 15 month old is so much harder. I haven't been able to make as many of my acupuncture appointments because things come up. I am looking forward to this journey because we want a bigger family and I am hoping being part of this wonderful blogging community will help me get everything out and possibly help others going through the same thing.

Spoke too soon......

Cramping, back pain, passing clots, oh my!

My period started today!

The only reason why I'm cheering instead of falling into a funk over this news is because its the 1st one since my D&C. Normally the first sight of blood brings on despair & frustration. Today its the sign of a new beginning!

Normally when I'm about to start my period there's cramping, back pain, sore ta-tas to warn me its coming. I had no normal PMS symptoms this time around. Weird. Maybe this will mean I'll have nice & easy cycle. I'm not holding my breath. My periods are usually heavy, crampy & clotty. The 1st period after both spontaneous miscarriages were brutal for me so maybe the D&C will make a difference in how this one will be.

I'm still waiting for the results of the thyroid testing I did last week. I also need to call the Endocrinologist to set up my HSG testing.

Workout wise I'm sticking to it and feeling great!!! I'm in the lead right now in our biggest loser contest at work so that is a powerful motivator right now.

Still here with nothing to show for it!

Huge apologies for the delay in posting. I just kept putting it off, waiting for something great to report, but I can't put it off any longer. Since I posted in January, DH had a semen analysis. Unfortunately, my GP (who gave us the results) isn't totally proficient in reading these results. Her interpretation of them though was that there was nothing glaringly wrong and she felt quite positive about them. She asked if we wanted to be referred to the infertility clinic since it had been 10 months (and I'm now 36) and we said yes. We opted to go private and she said we'd have an appointment within the next 6 months, but probably earlier. Well, we received the appointment letter and it's for August. The bad news is that we're emigrating in June. You could check a box stating that you'd be available for a short notice appointment, which we are, but we haven't had any word about that. This was at the end of February.

Since we are emigrating I haven't been too pushy in getting an appointment. If they call we'll go, but I'm not going to call them to see if there is anything coming up. There are other clinics in town that we could go through, but I think at this point we're going to wait until we're set up in our new town. Moving and finding jobs is all pretty stressful which certainly doesn't help the situation!

Getting active while waiting......

No news from the doctor. So no news is good news? In a day or two I'll give them a call to see what's what. I'm on week two of being on the pill. When my period starts (CD1) I'm supposed to call the fertility specialist to schedule my HSG testing. It's day 29 since my D&C, I've been crampy the last couple of days but that could be from the birth control.

Yesterday I entered my work's 5-week Biggest Loser contest. I'm starting out at 168lbs. Oy! That's the heaviest I've EVER been. Since I'm doing tests, & not supposed to get preggers the next 2 cycles or so I've decided its "Let's get healthy time!" Plus its starting to get hot in Texas & sweat marks in the chub rolls just isn't cute! I'm a sweater. Not the wool, cashmere, pullover, cardigans type! I'm the drip, drip, sweat rolling down my back, totally icky sweaty ew ew type! I could be painting my nails & sweat is glistening on my brow. Hot & humid weather is not attractive on me. My goal is to lose 10lbs in the next 5-weeks and hope this will also help in my miscarriage issues. I also hope to make my workouts & healthier eating habits a lifestyle change.

One last thing......just counting myself once, even though I've been pregnant 3 times this school year, there have been 10 pregnant ladies at my work. Everyday I see new baby pics, pregnant stories, pregnant co-workers, baby room plans......its hard...it hard everyday to see how happy (or miserable) they are. I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE! I WANT ANOTHER BABY! Then I remember & feel bad that I feel this way. I have a son! A really great and amazing son! Why can't I just be satisfied with the gift I've already been given?

Another one bites the dust...

which means we are starting a new cycle. Ho hum.

I mean, what can you do about it? Mope for a day? Kick dirt? Curse at your body? Sure. Why not? Go for it. That doesn't get you anywhere though. My rule is that I can mope for the first day of my cycle but then I have to get over and it move on.

I need to be positive. I just have to be. It has been a long journey and there have been many negative moments, thoughts, and feelings surrounding this whole process. I honestly can't believe it's been a year since we started talking about trying-and then actually doing it. It's surreal. However, I feel stronger today because of it all. I don't know why we are going through what we are going through but I feel that there is a reason for it. I don't know what that reason might be, or when we'll know what it is, but there has to be some reason why it isn't working for us. Maybe we are meant to do something big before we can have kids of our own.

There are some wonderfully supportive blogs out there. Women who tell their story and share the journey they are on. It is quite sad, but at the same time, it is comforting to know that you are not the only one going through this. Unfortunately, not being able to get pregnant or infertility, is not a widely had conversation. I wish more women would speak up and share their stories because we take comfort in knowing we aren't alone and we seek connections for extra comfort. Having a support system is so important. You have to find yours.

I long for the day when I can pee on a stick and a second line shows up. I long for the moment I can hear a heartbeat and see a little flicker on the monitor. I want to feel that first movement. I want to have to pee all the time. I want to get a round belly and enjoy all that comes with growing a little life inside my body. I want it all and I will get it. Only time will tell.

Until then, the only thing my husband and I have are each other, love and hope.