All leading up to our consult

The last few weeks as I waited impatiently for our consult appointment, I have been reflecting on our lives up to this point. I remember prior to being married having a conversation with a friend about not knowing what I would do if it wasn't easy for me to get pregnant, I would be heartbroken and I was. The emotions are never ending and that is how I was the past two weeks. I looked at my sweet brown-eyed girl and I felt love like I have never loved before and I thought about what would our lives be like with more children and how would my brow-eyed girl be affected. I know I was meant to be a mom, my husband tells me that all the time, I've felt that all my life. I couldn't wait to be a mom, I just didn't think it would be this hard. I didn't think it would be this hard to conceive and this hard to look at my sweet brown eyed girl and not know if she will have a brother or sister to grow up with.

I anxiously hoped maybe this month it will work:), maybe we won't have to go through all this again, but I am ready to go through it again. As we drove to our appointment I was excited and I was sad. After checking in and waiting a bit, we went in to our doctor's office. This was the man who we owed so much to, he gave us the chance to become parents. I walked in and shook his hand and he looked at my sweet brown-eyed girl and she just smiled. He asked how my pregnancy was and tears started.

I'm not sure why I started crying, well I do know I cry so much more than I have ever before since going through all this fertility. It's not tears of pain or sadness, it's tears or happiness. After talking about where we were and what we had to do, we decided that we needed to have some tests taken, he wanted a semen analysis from my husband and then some blood work for ovarian reserve and an ultrasound of my uterus and then we can decided where we would go from there. I have to wait til the start of my next period before I can go in for my tests and when we have the results we will look at where we should go, IUI or IVF. We thanked him for his time and shook hands and walked out of his office only to see my sweet brown-eyed girl's picture up in his office hallway from her birth announcement and the tears came again. and now we wait...