I am so excited!

I am so excited to be a "Saur" I have been reading this Blog as I struggled with our infertility story. I married my best friend and we always knew we would have a family. We started right away and after 6 months nothing was happening, as everyone around me was getting pregnant and having babies, we weren't. We gave it a few more months and then I asked my OB/GYN and she gave me the number to a fertility doctor to go see. I was nervous, I was confused, I was overwhelmed. Why me? Why us? We take for granted how easy it is to get pregnant and many didn't speak of their struggles if they were having any. I remember my mom and friends telling me to "stop thinking about it so much and it will happen on it's own" How frustrating was that, though they weren't trying to be, but how do you stop thinking about it? I couldn't.

So we scheduled an appointment after giving it a few more shots:) When we met with the doctor I was immediately relieved as he went through everything and what our next steps were. I knew we would have our family eventually. We did some testing, HSG test for me (which came back all clear) and then the semen analysis for my husband. We found out that my husband's sperm was low in morphology and motility and that we needed some help in order to conceive. Our choices were AI or IVF, he looked at it as the less aggressive and the aggressive methods and told us that it would be better to take the aggressive method which was IVF. So we scheduled everything to start the IVF process. I remember reading as much as I could about what the medications could do to me, emotionally and physically. We were ready and in September '08 we did IVF#1 (yup it's #1 because it didn't work). To explain what it felt like to go through that was very difficult. To tell people (who knew and supported us) each time that it didn't work was so hard. It was going through it all over again.

So then the question came would we do it again. It was physically, emotionally and financially draining. It brought my husband and I closer, but further apart, if that makes sense. We decided to change a few things when it was time to do IVF#2. We decided we would do acupuncture this time. A friend told me about it and I did some reading and both my husband and I went weekly to see our acupuncturist. We also decided that this time around we wouldn't tell anyone that we were going to do it again. It was too hard the first time and if IVF#2 didn't work it would just be us who would know. We did IVF #2 in April =09 and in May '09 we found out we were pregnant:) It was the most unbelievable feeling. In January '10 we had our sweet blessing, our baby girl. Our lives were filled with joy, tears, stress:), sleep depravation, LOVE and so much more.

Here we are 15 months later back to the drawing board, since we haven't been able to conceive naturally. I kept hoping it was because I was pumping and not because we couldn't. We are meeting with our fertility doctor this weekend to discuss where we are at and what we should do. Once again I am nervous and stressed and this time because scheduling things with a 15 month old is so much harder. I haven't been able to make as many of my acupuncture appointments because things come up. I am looking forward to this journey because we want a bigger family and I am hoping being part of this wonderful blogging community will help me get everything out and possibly help others going through the same thing.