Goodbye For Now

"May we never let the things we can't have, or don't have, or shouldn't have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have. As we value our happiness, let us not forget it, for one of the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy without the things we cannot or should not have." ~Richard L. Evans

My DH and I have made the decision to stop TTC and wait for a while. It has not been an easy decision to make and part of me is sad to give up. However, most of me feels like it's the right choice. My cycles are very irregular right now, so I think time will help even those out as well. Also, we have some things we feel like we need to work out in our marriage and really feel like with time we will feel more secure with ourselves and be able to provide a better environment for our future children.

My entire life I've always felt like I needed to be a step ahead of where I am. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teenager. As a teenager, I wanted to be an adult. As a young adult, I feel like I'm ready to start a family. However, maybe with age comes wisdom, and I've realized that you can't get your past back. I do not want to have a baby and regret not having time to be young. I feel like we got married young, bought a house young, and are missing out on things that we can only do without children. Or at least, things that are much easier without children.

We both want to travel, we want to be more financially secure, and emotionally feel prepared for the major lifestyle change that a baby brings. I still have not ovulated yet this cycle, and it's been 2 weeks since we BD'd. We are not going to try anymore this cycle, although I'm still going to temp so that I can determine how long my cycles are. I think after this cycle ends, I'm going to put my FF membership on hold and just manually write down my temps.

To say that I'm not upset would be a lie, but I do feel like this is the right choice. We can't get these years back and I want to be able to tell our children about all the life experiences that we got to have. I don't want to have any regrets about rushing into starting a family.

I hope to come back to this blog when we do start trying again. I don't know how long it will be, could be months, could be a year, could be several years. I do however love reading about everyone else's experiences and can't wait to find out about everyone's baby or babies.

Thank you Pregosaur for the opportunity to share my thoughts over the past 5 months and I wish all of you the best of luck on your journey to becoming parents!