Monday, October 12, 2009

Worrywart

Sometimes it seems like all I do is worry.

When we were trying to conceive, I worried that something would be wrong - that the first pregnancy was a fluke and I'd have fertility issues or we'd find out that Mr Bibliosaur would have a low sperm count.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I worried that I'd miscarry again. With every symptom, I worry that something is wrong - that the occasional cramps are a precursor to miscarriage spotting, that the aches and pains I feel aren't normal. But when I start feeling better for a couple days - the morning sickness dies down, the fatigue maybe even lifts for a short while - I start worrying that something is wrong because I don't feel miserable. It's ridiculous!



I even worry about Vanishing Twin Syndrome - that at the 12-week ultrasound next week, we'll discover that we've lost one twin. I'm desperately trying not to stress about this, since one of the signs is cramping and I had a particularly painful bout a couple of weeks ago (proof that you can read too much into just about anything!). I reassure myself constantly, remembering that during my most recent checkup last week, my doctor cheerfully informed me that although she wasn't expecting to be able to feel my uterus since I was only 10 weeks along, my fundal height was around 14 weeks, which she thinks is probably a good indicator that everything - and everyone - is growing as it should.

Everyone says to enjoy your pregnancy, and I do genuinely try - I know I have to trust my body, and trust that these little babies will be fine. But I have problems letting go and relaxing, and not worrying about something going wrong again. How do you deal with worry?

3 comments:

  1. I worry a lot too. But what has helped is that I've stopped constantly scouring the internet and have limited my reading to a few trustworthy sources. When I really have a question, I ask my doctor or call the nurse -- no more Dr. Google for me! And now that I've cut out the "noise," I feel better able to trust in my body and relax. Plus, the further along we get, the easier it becomes. Good luck to you and those two little miracles in your belly!

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  2. I'm a worrier too!! And I wonder about the what ifs a lot!! Take a deep breath, and enjoy every moment of today!!

    Good luck at your ultrasound!

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  3. I worry a lot too! I think Sunnysaur's advice is very helpful - surfing the net for answers seems to increase my worrying. Sometimes if I'm not worrying, I worry about that! LOL!

    I try to take it one day at a time and focus on staying present to what is happening right now. It does help. Good luck to you!

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