Saturday, August 27, 2011

Emotions

The weeks seem to fly by, I can't get a grip on it. In one breath I am so excited that its closer to meeting my baby but then my anxiety kicks in and I realize I am not ready yet.

My rational mind tells me that babies don't need much, just mom and dad. I think about the time I will have once she gets here and the ability to get things done, I know that will be severely limited.

This whole process has been such a roller coaster of emotions. We have been thinking about babies for over a year now, hoping and waiting and praying. We are completely on board with the fact that we are having a baby, I think we just have never been to the point of pregnancy that it starts to become a reality.

Husband has to work today so I got to sit around and watch the documentary "Babies" this morning. Of course I had a few moments of tears and some good laughs. If you have not seen this yet, go check it out. Babies are amazing. Humans are amazing. It blows my mind to think about the person I am growing, the little life that will smile, talk, walk and someday give me a run for my money. This documentary was a story of several babies first year all around the world. The language of baby is all the same. Watching these little beings learning and growing, its spectacular.

I sat there holding my belly, feeling baby kick and I am so full of joy. Ask me a year ago how I felt and joy would not have been in the first hundred words. I don't have any rational yet for the miscarriages, they are still painful. Time will heal and so will the life I am creating.

This emotional roller coaster is no where near over. I envision the day she enters the world and how I will feel.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Chiropractic Care and Pregnancy

Ever since college when I would lug around 50 pound bags of camera equipment I have been visiting a chiropractor. They have been very helpful in treating the discomfort and generally making me feel much better.

I am a holistic type of patient, I would much rather have you fix me without cutting me open!

About a month ago I started getting this clicking noise in my lower back when I would walk. I could only imagine it was from the growing baby moving some things around. I was also having pains down my legs, I needed to figure out what to do asap. I headed into the Chiropractor and I really did not think anything of it. I knew they could fix the clicking. Of course with a few simple adjustments and some new pillows and boards to avoid pushing on me while laying on my stomach I was done with the clicking.

I have been asked several times by many different people: "OH dear you go to a Chiropractor, AND your PREGNANT". I just smile and nod because they don't know what they are missing. I have done my research and all of the doctors remind me how we need to work together regarding discomforts and getting things in place now; I feel completely comfortable with the process.

Some tips if you are interested:
1. Go talk to a doctor, they are doctors and all of them train on how to adjust those who are expecting.
2. Do your own research, find a doctor you like. Ask around.
3. Go in with an open mind. It may take a few visits before things start lining up, but keep at it.
4. Be vocal, if it is uncomfortable or causing you pain tell them. They will gladly try another technique, you just have to let them know.
5. Recognize the changes in your whole body, not just your tummy and be in tune with it. There are some incredible things happening and some uncomfortable things, so get the discomforts fixed now to give you more time to enjoy your baby.

A few sites that may be useful:
http://www.americanpregnancy.org
http://www.acatoday.org

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I got a +HPT!!!!!

I have to catch you all up since I haven't posted in a few months.

Back in May I had a HSG test done......boy was that just about the most uncomfortable thing!!!! It's a quick procedure and after it was done I only had minor cramps & just a bit of spotting. But as that dye was shot into and moving through my tubes & uterus, I can't say exactly that it was painful just extremely uncomfortable. The doctor, an Endocrinologist, said that everything looked great, that there were no blockages in my tubes and my uterus was shaped fine. Knowing I should be happy that there's nothing wrong with me, it was and is frustrating to not have answers when I keep losing my babies.

I got the green light from my OB to start trying again when I was ready. After my D&C in March he had given me a 3 month perscription for birth control which I decided to finish out. I decided I needed to take care of me before I trying again. By working out & eating better, I ended up "The Biggest Loser" in our weight loss contest at work, losing 9lbs in 5 weeks!!!! During the rest of May, June and July I just watched what I ate and pretty much stayed on my workout regime, losing another 5lbs. Pat on my back!

July 10th is my CD1. Between CD12-15 I had spotted lightly (ovulation?). Mr. Hungrysaur and I BD on CDs 8, 10 and 15. On CD18 I had light bleeding when I wiped (implantation spotting?). My period should have started August 6th, that date had come and gone without event. So finally about a week and a half later I took a HPT and it came up positive!!!!

This next week I will go to the Dr to do a pregnancy test to make it all official so I can schedule my 1st doctor visit. I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow. I feel great!!!! I'm super tired and my tatas are sore but other than that I feel fabulous!!! I feel like I did when I carried my son so I'm crossing all my body parts that that's a good sign. The last 3 pregnancies when I miscarried it seemed like there was something wrong almost right from the beginning. Even one of my buddies told me the other day that I look healthier this time around than I did the other times. Hoping & praying.

Now that I've caught up I promise to keep in touch & give regular updates (even if things go bad.) Thanks everyone for staying with me. I know there are others like me out there who keep miscarrying when all the tests show we're "normal". Hang in there ladies. Hopefully we all get our happily ever afters soon.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Introducing Jerseysaur

Hello everyone! I am a new blogger to Pregosaur and I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jerseysaur and I am 23 weeks pregnant today.

Like so many other strong beautiful women out there, the road to get to this point was not easy. Before I get into the details let me set up the story for ya... My husband and I met in college in New York and have been together ever since. He proposed to me before my senior year of college as he had already graduated and I knew this was the person I wanted to spend my life with and start a family with someday. We married two years after that and closed on our first home three days before our wedding. The first year of marriage were trials and tribulations associated with picking out countertops and light fixtures. We renovated the whole house before we moved it, at this point babies were not on the forefront of our mind.

After our first anniversary when things started to settle we decided to stop birth control. EEK. For me it was quite emotional and such a change in thoughts, for so long it was "Please NO" and now it was "Pretty Please Yes".

We got pregnant three months after getting off our birth control. I remember thinking how easy it was and how beyond excited we were. We decided to wait to tell our families in person and were seeing them around the 8 week mark. The evening before we were to leave I started spotting and passing clots, at 3am I woke up with labor pains in my back. I passed our baby shortly after. It has been a year since that date. We never got to tell our family we were even pregnant.

Of course we were heartbroken, it made our marriage stronger and we pushed thru. We waited the few months the doctors told us to and tried again. Months of nothing. As the new year turned, my depression was rearing its ugly head and we decided to start testing. I had an HSG, everything looked good, they said I may have had a blockage but the procedure could have cleaned it out. The husband had his sperm checked and that was all normal. I started Clomid that month and it worked again. We were excited but hesitant. This pregnancy did not last long either. Again heartbroken, I screamed and cried. I saw a side of myself I never saw. I had hit rock bottom. I was angry, so very angry. The doctor told us we could try again if we were up to it the next month with no pills or we could wait.

Well as crazy as I was, there was NO waiting. My husband actually had to have surgery the week I was ovulating and I was so upset. We were forced to hold off but that didn't stop us, we had to have sex at least once. Shortly after we went on vacation to Washington DC with clomid in tow, only to have AF never show up. I took a cheap test down there and saw a faint line. Of course I did not believe it at all. Gave it a few days and took a digital test to see the word 'Yes'. I was in disbelief. For real?!?!

The first 12 weeks were Hell, I went to the doctor and had my blood tested. So far so good. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. How was this possible. At the first trimester screening we saw our baby moving and jumping around so quickly the pictures are all blurry. I cried so hard. This was actually it.

My world has flipped inside, outside and backwards in the last 365 days. I sometimes have the 'this is too good to be true' feeling and up until recently would check the TP for blood after going to the bathroom. Now that I can feel our baby girl move, its at a whole new level.

I thank you for reading my story and look forward to sharing the rest of this journey with all of you. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

We're "normal"

I've been a bad bad blogger. I'm sorry about that and I feel bad for not keeping you posted on our journey, because maybe you can relate, and maybe my words can bring you comfort.

It's been two months since we started testing and seeing more doctors to get the help we need in order to bring home the baby we so desire. It's been a rough summer for me. I've had a hard time dealing with the testing and the results all come back as normal.... which is great! Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that things are coming up as such, but it doesn't help the level of frustration I feel.

Our Reproductive Endocrinologist is awesome! I am so thankful to be working with her. Her office is quick to call back, answer my questions and everyone is so kind which makes meeting with many doctors and nurses so much easier.

It is hard to not think about what we did to deserve to be going through something like this and it is even more difficult when people you start talking about this with respond with "it will happen" "maybe your stressed" "stop thinking about it" "you're young" I would almost rather them say nothing at all. I would also just like to scream or grunt in their face, but instead I smile and change the subject.

It is crazy to think about how infertility affects 1 in 8 couples. Just the fact that you have a 20% chance each month of getting pregnant is mind boggling. I mean we hear about people getting pregnant all the time, so why should it be any different for those of us having such a hard time?

Our time will come, this I know. I just wish I knew when so then maybe, just maybe, I can feel ok about the journey we find ourselves on.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Pregosaur needs YOU!

We're currently looking for new 'saurs to join the blog! You'll need to be:
  • Actively trying to conceive, currently pregnant or adopting
  • Willing to share the details of your journey (even the TMI ones!)
  • Committed to posting a couple of times per week
  • Able to write for an audience (if you currently blog, include a link so we can take a look - it's OK if you don't, you just need the ability to compose a compelling post and keep a reader's attention - include a draft post or two so we can check out your writing style)
If that sounds like you, send an email telling us a bit about yourself to pregosaur@gmail.com - we can't wait to hear from you!