Saturday, August 27, 2011

Emotions

The weeks seem to fly by, I can't get a grip on it. In one breath I am so excited that its closer to meeting my baby but then my anxiety kicks in and I realize I am not ready yet.

My rational mind tells me that babies don't need much, just mom and dad. I think about the time I will have once she gets here and the ability to get things done, I know that will be severely limited.

This whole process has been such a roller coaster of emotions. We have been thinking about babies for over a year now, hoping and waiting and praying. We are completely on board with the fact that we are having a baby, I think we just have never been to the point of pregnancy that it starts to become a reality.

Husband has to work today so I got to sit around and watch the documentary "Babies" this morning. Of course I had a few moments of tears and some good laughs. If you have not seen this yet, go check it out. Babies are amazing. Humans are amazing. It blows my mind to think about the person I am growing, the little life that will smile, talk, walk and someday give me a run for my money. This documentary was a story of several babies first year all around the world. The language of baby is all the same. Watching these little beings learning and growing, its spectacular.

I sat there holding my belly, feeling baby kick and I am so full of joy. Ask me a year ago how I felt and joy would not have been in the first hundred words. I don't have any rational yet for the miscarriages, they are still painful. Time will heal and so will the life I am creating.

This emotional roller coaster is no where near over. I envision the day she enters the world and how I will feel.

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