Sunday, January 31, 2010

Here she is!

Technically speaking today would have been my fortieth week post...today is Libby's EDD. But instead of wishing and hoping for labor to begin, I am writing this with a sleepy five-day-old Libby sleeping on my chest in her baby wrap carrier (our DIY Moby). She's been breast feeding like a champ since she was 2 minutes old. My milk came in yesterday and instead of feeding every 45-60 minutes we are enjoying a good feeding session followed by 2-3 hours of angelic sleep!



Born January 25, 2010 at 7:04 p.m.
8 lbs., 4 oz. and 19.75 inches long


So, without further ado...here's my recollection of her birth story. My doula is writing one for us too and I'll be sure to post it once I get it from her, since my details are a little fuzzy.

01.24.10
Day before the induction. I spent a lot of time meditating and visualizing a safe and happy birth for me and for Libby. I did have some anxiety about what was to come the next day and let the tears come freely. I got a massage that evening and slept more soundly than I had in months!

01.25.10
3:30 a.m. - awoke...showered and had a light breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast.

5:00 a.m. - report to hospital





6:00 a.m. - I changed into my birthing attire...a cotton sarong (bought a few yards of fabric, washed it and finished the edges with the sewing machine) and a hook-front, cotton tank bra (similar to a sports bra...it's by Leading Lady® ). I was adamant not to wear the scratchy hospital gown. I hate wearing nightgowns and wasn't going to do it just because I was in the hospital! Pitocin started - 2 cm



First and only bare belly shot

7:30 a.m. - Mild contractions start and the doctor ruptured my membranes. It was the oddest sensation ever...warm liquid just gushed forth. I was up and laboring on the birthing ball, standing over the bedside and getting counter pressure on my back from my mom and doula and sat on the bed in a "throne" position (the back up as high as possible and the foot of the bed dropped down so I could sit with my feet on the lower portion.) I breathed through the contractions as they came and chatted when they weren't there. We had mellow music on in the back ground and the mood was light.

12:00 p.m. - Contractions had increased in intensity and I was having tons of back labor. Baby was obviously still face up. I was checked and thinking that by now I surely must be closer to 5 cm. They said 3 cm and 80% effaced and I was pretty upset that this is all I had progressed. They increased the Pitocin and I started to cry and express my doubts about being able to continue without pain medication.

3:30 p.m. - I was laboring with intense contractions. At this point they were 60-90 seconds long and coming every 1-2 minutes. I had my eyes closed and asked that the overhead lights be turned off.I was sure that I must be close to 5 cm by now! I was checked and told that I was 4 cm and still not very thinned. The contractions were becoming unbearable because my legs were spasming with each one. So as I was trying to relax and breath my legs were clamping closed and almost "seizing"...I was shaking uncontrollably.

4:15 p.m. - The next 45 minutes (between 3:30-4:15 p.m.) was rough. Despite doing my best to stay with my breathing and coping techniques,I couldn't get on top of them because my legs were just taking over my body and not allowing me to relax. After much struggle, I finally begged for the epidural. It seemed like an eternity before I got it. I worked through another 15 minutes of hard contractions and then I finally got it. I have to say, it wasn't scary like I imagined and it felt like a dream...my legs stopped quivering enough for me to sleep for an hour.

5:30 p.m. - After an incredibly deep sleep, I was finally 7 cm and fully dilated...my legs still continued to tremble with every contraction, but I felt no pain! Upper body starts shaking though with each contraction so I still know when they're coming!




My mom, husband and I just before pushing began.

6:15 p.m. - Time to push! Worked with the awesome nurse of the day to "practice push" until the doctor arrived. The "practice" ones were easy and she crowned immediately. No pain, just pressure, which I was glad to have the sensation to know what I was doing. Doctor arrived and in 4 pushes (I did 4 sets of breathe and push for 4 times each, I wanted her OUT!)





My husband and doula watching the baby being born. They were both tearing up!

7:04 p.m. - Libby was born! They put her on my chest immediately and within minutes she was latched on and nursing. She knew exactly what to do. It was amazing.



Our first family photo just seconds after Libby was born.
From here the details get very blurry for me. I had a very tough 3rd stage and lost a lot of blood. They worked on me for 45 minutes. My placenta came out swiftly but with some was retained (doctor doesn't think so) or a piece of my uterine lining came out with it. Apparently there were buckets of fresh blood being removed as well as being mopped off the floor. I remember none of this (no one was panicked or saying things that sounded urgent). I do remember the look on our doula's face and that my mom and Joseph took Libby to the warmer and were tending to her. Now I know they were distracting themselves from seeing me bleeding. I am fuzzy on these details but there was my doctor and the nurse, both inside of me with tools scraping my lining and massaging my uterus. It was very intense and it made me projectile vomit (imagine the Heimlich from within)! My blood pressure dropped to 84/43. They administered some shot of medicine in my leg and I heard the Doctor say, "800 of Cytotec"...

Anyway, long story short...they got my uterus to finally tighten up. It took about 45 minutes - hour. After that I am not sure what happened. I did have Libby back on my breast. And then I slept, I think. I awoke and the epi was out, etc. I am not sure how long that was...it was around 9 p.m. or so. I did have one fainting spell in the bathroom but other than that, I was stable and pretty much "back to normal" by 11 p.m. I had a grilled cheese sandwich and french fries! They were delicious!

So in the end...I was incredibly grateful to be in hospital. I did have the vaginal birth I wanted and labored without pain meds fror 12 hours. Ultimately, the epidural was the right choice...it allowed Libby to be born quickly and also enabled me to get through that horrible stage three scenario. Had I not had the epi I would have been rushed to the OR and fully sedated. And had they not been able to stop the bleeding my doctor said the only option was to have my uterus removed! Very scary stuff.

But all in all...I have no real memory of that and I feel great. Libby is so wonderful...she's a fantastic nurser and basically has been teaching me what to do. Mr. Divasaur has been so hands on with her and we're making a great team.




Thanks to all of your 'Saurs and blog followers for all of the wonderful support...from before we decided to TTC and all the way through this pregnancy as well as L&D! You are the best!

The countdown begins

Today I am 27 weeks pregnant, and officially in the third trimester.

Or possibly not, if you go by the calculations that the third tri starts at 28 weeks. I can't get a definite answer anywhere...some websites and books say 27 weeks, others say 28 (one even said 29!), but since my neatnik brain likes the idea of the 40 weeks divided into three even trimesters of 13.3 weeks, I'm going with 27 weeks.


I'm leaving work in just 4 weeks; although my maternity leave doesn't start until April 4, I've saved up enough vacation time and sick leave that I'm taking the entire month of March off as well - and honestly, it couldn't come a moment too soon, as simple things are getting more physically challenging every day. I'm looking forward to being able to potter around the house getting things organized and taking naps whenever I feel like it!


And I'm down to single digits in the weekly countdown to when these babies will be born - if they arrive at 36 weeks (which is the average for twins), that's only 9 weeks away! I feel like we still have so much to do, so much to prepare before they arrive. The nursery is nowhere near ready, the cloth diaper stash hasn't even begun...I know I still have plenty of time, but there's also part of me that's shrieking, "OMGholycrapweonlyhavetwomonths!!!!!!!!"


My goal is to get all - or at least most - of that stuff done by 32 weeks, which is only 5 weeks away. I think it's doable, considering that we already have all of our major items (cribs, carseats, stroller, etc.) ordered, so we mostly just need to start the actual process of setting up the nursery by painting and decorating, along with buying a few smaller odds and ends (for example, swaddling blankets, bottles, etc., plus the diaper stash). Does 32 weeks seem reasonable with an expectation of a 36 week due date?

It's so incredible to think that we could be meeting these babies in just over two months; I remember when this pregnancy first started, just making it to the 12 week mark seemed like an eternity...and now here I am, entering third tri and starting the countdown!

Well, I admit to being a terrible 'saur :-(

I am currently 15 weeks and 6 days and feeling a lot better. For my first 3 months, I was constantly sick and couldn't eat much. I pretty much became a hermit and wouldn't go anywhere or do anything. Poor Mr. Bakersaur had a lot to deal with!
I've been to 2 different doctor appointments since my last appt and both have been great! Both times I got to listen to the heartbeat which was amazing and baby's heartbeat sounded perfect. I also learned that so far I have gained absolutely no weight! I was shocked to learn this as I was getting much bigger and just felt like I was weighing a ton. It never occurred to me that it was BABY that was growing and not my fat.

Mr. Bakersaur got me a doppler for Christmas and until I was almost 14 weeks, I was never able to find baby's heartbeat. When I finally did, I almost cried because I was so happy! I now use it at least once a week between appointments just to calm my nerves.

I also think that I have started to feel some movement. I didn't think about it the first time I felt it but last night after I coughed, I got a heavy fluttering feeling a couple of inches below my bellybutton. I ran to tell Mr. Bakersaur and he was just as excited.

Our next appointment is February 18th and *hopefully* we will be able to find out the sex of the baby!!

The Great BD Opinion Poll

Today is day 10 of my cycle. I took the last of my clomid pills yesterday. We're getting ready for the big show this month and I need a little help from all you ladies out there with experience (and success) ttc.

My husband and I have been trying to figure out, should we BD every day during our window, or every other day? I have heard backing for both sides, and I wanted to know what worked for you. We have generally done the every day thing, because thankfully I'm "in the mood" from day 9 until day 20 or so. We give it every shot we can (pun intended) but obviously thus far we haven't had success (except many years ago when we conceived our little girl, but I really can't remember what we did back then).



So...in the comments section of this post, please give your opinion: every day, or every other day?

Last chance to enter the 303Baby goodies giveaway!


The 303Baby goodies giveaway is ending this Wednesday - click here to enter!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

My monitor and me

My CBFM arrived in time for me to use it for this cycle. In order to use the CBFM you have to have entered the start of your period and current cycle day by CD5 so that on CD6 it can ask you for your first test stick. Pretty cool actually. All I have to do in the morning is turn my monitor on and see if it asks me for a new test stick. On CD6 I turned it on, it showed me the picture of the test stick, and I knew it was time to take action! I love POASing, so this part was lots of fun. I dipped the stick in my pee cup (cause I think it´s way to hard to aim and hit the stick without getting myself or the rest of the stick wet), put the cap over the wet end and inserted it in my monitor. Then I waited about five minutes while my monitor flashed that it was busy reading the stick. After the five minutes were up, the monitor said it was time to remove the stick. I removed the stick and immeidately saw my result: low fertility = one bar. Not surprising, really. CD6 would be really early, so I wasn´t worried. I repeated the procedure on CD 7, CD8 and CD9 with the same result: one bar=low fertility.

This morning, however, I got two bars, or high fertility, which means now is a good time to start BDing. I can hardly wait, and I´m sure Mr. Lillysaur will be even happier.

Here are some photos which aren´t in the right order because I can´t get blogspot to let me move them around in the post for some reason.

This is what the test stick looks like if you hold it up to light. The result window is transparent so that the light from the monitor can "read" the results.The darker line is actually the line for estrogen, and the lighter one which you can´t see too well is the line that detects LH.
This is what a high fertility reading looks like! (I´m very excited, can you tell?!)

This is one of the test sticks. The left side is actually the pee strip, but it´s covered with the cap.



The monitor while it´s reading the results, the test stick picture actually flashes to tell you it´s still reading.



And here the monitor is between the flashing.
All in all, I´m excited about the monitor. I´ll let you know more about it when I´ve had more time to use it. But sofar, it seems like it´s been a good investment.



Friday, January 29, 2010

Question for everyone

Since my last post I have been feeling some twinges here and there and normally I can pinpoint the moment I have ovulated but I have yet to feel that moment. Again I was a little thrown off because my OPK turned positive on day 21 instead of day 40 something. So today I thought I should take another OPK test to see what it said. This is what I saw.


It still looks positive 3 days later. This line is darker than other first but I have taken these tests before and haven't seen a line on them at all so I know its not a defect. That isn't normal is it? I took the first OPK on Tuesday and saw this.


Has anybody ever heard of this before? I am dumbfounded.

Mixed Bag of Complaints...

It is starting to feel as though the countdown is amping up... I didn't think it would happen this soon, but I feel as though I can't get enough done and the list is ever growing!

My husband and I met with our Doula who is providing her services for free because she is a friend of his family and also because she needs to attend a number of births for her training. I love the idea of free, but I'm having a little bit of trouble feeling comfortable with the idea of someone I don't know very well having so much participation in this experience. I wanted to limit the number of people in the room during the whole thing period, and it seems a bit strange to start inviting people in even when they are there specifically to help me...

In my defense, I didn't know what accepting her offer to be a Doula meant at the time I said yes, and now I kind of feel like it's too late to back out. Especially if it could end up being a good thing.... I think it will definitely help my husband to have someone he knows making sure that we are both doing ok, but I feel weird! I just wanted as quiet an experience with my lady bits as less-on-display as possible... but everyone always says it never goes the way you envision it anyway... The thing is that she lives fairly far away and who knows fate may intervene and maybe she won't make it on time anyway who knows.

In other news, I feel so relieved to say that my test was negative for gestational diabetes, and although I am so happy for myself I am feeling Bibliosaur's pain as she goes through it all! I feel like it was more likely for me to have tested positive though as I feel like I just can not control the amount of weight I'm gaining... I'm scared to death to step on the scale again next month! Ah well, there is only so much you can worry about...

We are talking to our landlords tonight about our living situation and we hope to be able to get out of our lease two months early in order to move for March 1 into our new house! Although, it won't be very much fun for at least a month or so as we will be extensively renovating.... I am looking forward to the move though as I love the clean and purge that comes with packing. Also, it will be pretty neat to set all the baby's things up where they should go in the new nursery etc. There is a sold sign on the house, so although the closing date isn't until Feb 18th I believe it's a done deal. Yay! It feels as though we are rapidly becoming adults!

News just in... I just had the awkward "I can be there" when the time comes conversation with my MIL just now... I'm pretty sure my temperature went up. I love her to absolute bits and pieces, and she has a medical background that is going to be amazing, but I just can't fathom the thought of how many people are going to be milling around in a time that I would honestly pretty much prefer to be alone.... If that were a safe option obviously.... How do you respond to that offer? I mean I pretty much just said I'd rather have as few people as possible and we'll see when the time comes... but, oh jeeze... at least it wasn't in person! I really didn't want to offend her... I guess we will really see what happens closer to the date anyway....

Anyway, we are starting to feel the baby from the outside, and it makes the experience so much more real for me! It's turning into more of a thudding feeling rather than the muscle spasm or twitchy feeling. Sometimes my whole belly moves and it makes the room feel like it has moved! I'm excited to start being able to see little body parts moving in there :)

I experienced my first influx of hormones last night.... I was perfectly fine, tired, but fine, and watching a movie with my husband when it turned into crying and being intensely annoyed that the phone would not stop ringing. Not only would it NOT stop, but there was not a single call for me! He was busy planning his weekend meanwhile I feel like I've dropped off the face of the earth with my friends. I haven't seen most of them in ages... I acknowledge that my friendships are going to change, but I didn't think it would be this obvious... Anyway, I went to sleep annoyed and angry, but when I woke up this morning I was ok again thank goodness. I have been trying really hard to avoid making my husband uncomfortable and he's been so great to me (most of the time) that I don't want to be mean, but sometimes it's just so hard to pretend that I'm not upset about other stuff. Nothing about his life has changed and my entire life HAS. He still gets to do whatever he wants on Saturday nights and I guess I'm starting to feel like we have a limited time together to do fun things before baby and it would be nice if he could stay home on the weekend once in a while.... But, alas, I know what the next three weekends entail, and I'm pretty sure there is no hope for that at all....

Also, I'm planning his birthday party, and I asked his friends to pick a place he would like to go after dinner, and the only thing they could come up with..... was the strippers! Normally, I honestly wouldn't even care, but I'm fairly vulnerable feeling right now about my own size and the thought of him ogling perfect little young things is almost too much for me to bear. I don't even think I should feel bad about that... to me it makes sense that I feel that way, but good grief try explaining that to a bunch of twenty something boys. Gah!

Well, I hope to write again soon, and I hope everyone's week goes well!

Carbo-load

As I mentioned in my last post, now that I've failed my gestational diabetes screening, I have to go back for an Oral Glucose Tolerance Test. Some tests are three or four hours long, requiring your blood to be drawn for testing once per hour - the one I'm going in for is only two hours long, takes place first thing in the morning, and my blood will only be taken twice: once before the test and once at the end.

I have to spend three days preparing my body by eating a prescribed high carb diet and then fasting from 9pm the night before the test. From what I understand, chowing down on carbs for a few days kind of "primes" the body for the test and reduces the number of false positives, which can occur if you normally have a very low carb diet (which I don't, although I also don't eat this much every day).
 This is the minimum amount of carbs that I have to eat every day for the next three days:
- my usual amounts of milk, meat, fish, eggs, cheese and butter/margarine PLUS
- three slices of bread or toast AND
- one serving of breakfast cereal, oatmeal or spaghetti AND
- one potato or a serving of rice AND
- three servings of vegetables AND
- three servings of fruit (fresh, cooked, canned or juice) AND
- a snack of either two cookies or one scone or an extra slice of bread (I have to have two of these snacks per day)

To give you an idea of what this looks like, today I had:
Breakfast - oatmeal plus one slice of bread
Morning snack - an apple plus two shortbread cookies
Lunch - a tuna sandwich (don't worry, it was light tuna, not albacore) and grapes
Afternoon snack - another apple and two more shortbread cookies
Dinner - chicken stir fry with three servings of vegetables and rice (it may have been better to spread the veggies throughout the day like the fruit, but this was easier)

A few people have asked me if there's a chance if I could pass this next test. Of course the answer is yes, but honestly, I'd be stunned if I passed. Normally that only happens if your first result is borderline; using Australia's system, where a score of 3.5-7.8 is normal, borderline might be around 8.5 - but mine was 10.5. So I think it's pretty likely that it will come back with a bad result again, unfortunately. Don't get me wrong, I'd be thrilled if the first test was a fluke and this one comes back just fine...but I think it's pretty unlikely.

I won't be able to tell you until next week whether this will be managed with diet alone, or if I'll need insulin as well. The good news is that a low-GI diet is a very healthy way to eat anyway and not overly restrictive - for example, you don't have to cut all carbohydrates, just choose complex ones over simple, refined carbs - so it won't be too horrible. 
A couple of you commented on what a good attitude I have about this. I'll be honest - I'm bummed. I truly am. This pregnancy has come with enough physical difficulties that I was really hoping to make it through without anything like this happening. However, I think just knowing from the day we found out we were having twins that this had a higher likelihood of occurring has made me much more accepting than I might have been otherwise.

I know there's not anything I can do, or anything I could have done to prevent this - it's just one of those things that happens sometimes in a regular pregnancy and a lot more frequently with twins. As this pregnancy progresses, my body is under an enormous amount of physical stress, so having whacked out insulin levels is really one of the more minor things that can happen and I'm glad that this is something that is very manageable, especially compared to having pre-eclampsia or hypertension or something else that would mean bedrest.

Plus if these babies are born at around 36 weeks (the average for twins), that means I only have about another 10 weeks to go, so it's really not too bad. I bet a lot of you have had regular diets that have lasted that long!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Huge decisions

This past week I made a HUGE decision about where to go with our TTC journey. After last cycle's m/c my doctor recommended that DH and I go to an RE (infertility specialist) and start further treatment with her. She mentions that Clomid would be a good place to start.

I said that sounded great and then went home and really started researching our options. They did not make me happy. I am a very "Green" person. I reduced the amount of chemicals I have in my home, I always try to use homeopathic remedies before getting prescriptions, and all of this IF treatment in general made me feel very nervous. But I really, really, really want a baby and I'm willing to do pretty much anything!

Then a few days ago I learned that there is a new birth center opening up in my town. I decided to contact them to see if I can start doing Well-Woman care there (I'm due for a Pap, fun times!) and they invited me over to meet them and speak with them about that. I showed up and this place was FANTASTIC! I really got a good vibe from it.

As we chatted more they mentioned that there are lots of fertility options out there for women who are looking to try a more natural route to having a baby and dealing with IF issues. After leaving the center I made the decision to NOT go to the RE appointment and instead will be switching completely to the center and midwife care. I figure it's worth a shot and something I am way more comfortable with. I figured if I still don't get pregnant in 6 months or so I can always just go back to the RE and explore my other options. But for now I am so happy that I have found a solution that I am more comfortable with and am SO excited for!

So hopefully I have more updates in the future as we start exploring these options. Again, I'm sorry I've been such a bad 'saur, I just rarely have anything to talk about since we haven't been able to conceive yet.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

GD and me

As you all know, I had my gestational diabetes screening on Saturday. I knew my doctor would get the results today - I'd accidentally forgotten my cell phone at home, so all day I was hoping that I'd get home and there wouldn't be a message from him since they pretty much only call if it's bad news. But nope, there it was: "Hi Bibliosaur, it's Dr S., please give me a call about your GD test..."

Crap. 

So I gave him a call. And the result was not good. Not by a long shot.

I still have to take the longer Oral Glucose Tolerance Test (OGTT) to confirm, so it's not 100% definite yet, but my number was high enough that I'm pretty sure it's a done deal. I scored a 10.5 on the Australian/Canadian scale...I don't know how this number corresponds to the way it's measured in the USA, but a normal score is under 7.8, so it's not like I got a borderline result.

This isn't really surprising, or the end of the world - I knew it was a definite possibility with twins (I'm 2-3 times more likely than someone carrying a singleton to end up with GD), so I'm not shattered or shocked, just bummed...especially because I chose today of all days to give bacon brownies a try, and now they're baking in the oven, just mocking me with all their sugar!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What is going on?

Today was a weird but great day. It started off with me waking up at 5:50 am with the worse gas pains I have ever felt. I spent the next hour in the bathroom. I knew you wanted to know that but I wanted to show you how my morning started off crappy. I barely slept and the hubby and I were supposed to wake up early and go grocery shopping and then see Legion before we both had to work today. When 10:30 rolled around I was not in the mood to open my eyes, especially since I haven't really been sleeping. Finally at 11:30 Mr. Relaxasaur said we can still make it if we leave soon. I wasn't excited but I got my butt out of bed and threw on jeans and a hoodie because I knew he really wanted to go.

While sitting in the theater I had a "wet" feeling down there followed by a few cramps near my ovaries. I thought there is no way I am near ovulation. Today marks day 21 of my cycle I still have about 31 more days before I am supposed to ovulate. So I brush off the feeling. When we got home I wanted to jump in the shower but the idea of taking an ovualtion test keep creeping up on me. I still have 75 left so I thought whats the big deal if I waste one. So I dip the stick and lay it down while I jump in the shower. At this point Mr. Relaxasaur made his way upstairs and I asked him to show me the test so I could see if there were two lines. This is what I saw.


I couldn't believe my eyes. WTF? It's day 21. So immediately I jump out of the shower and we baby danced. It was great and wonderful and for the first time we were full of hope. On a side note I joined the pledge to complete 101 tasks in 1001 days and one of my tasks was to make a list of 101 things I love about Mr. R. So as we layed there I read the list out loud and by the end we both had tears in our eyes. So what started off as a crappy day ended up being one of my favorites thus far. The test line isn't as dark as the control line but its close which means I may still have one or more days of baby dancing left.
Please wish us luck!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Flying on Cloud Nine

As of my last post I left off waiting for all the tests results. Today I called my fertility clinic to see if they were all in. I talked to my nurse and she told me that all Mr. Relaxasaur's blood work came back negative so that is great. She also told me his sperm analysis was in and I thought I would have to wait to hear the results in the consultation I have to schedule. But she was able to tell me over the phone. So I took a deep breath and waited. I honestly thought I would hear bad news, I want to stay positive but after the last test I was skeptical. She started by telling me the count which is 100 million which is good, and then the motility which is 54%, and then his morphology which was the problem before and but this time it was 18%!!!!!!!! on the Kruger Strict Morphology and anything higher than 14% is good. I also asked about my varicella test because my first blood tested showed I was on the border of not being immune to chicken pox which means I would have to get the vaccine and wait 3 months before we could TTC. That too came back showing I am immune. So after I hung the phone I was all smiles, I was on cloud nine.



Source


The nurse said that I still have to test for cystic fibrosis or sign the waver saying I don't want the test. If my insurance wont cover it we would have to pay $430 to take it. If we have to pay out of pocket I don't want the test. She said that they charge the insurance $6000 for it. That is just insane. So after I call the insurance I have to either call and schedule the test or schedule what is hopefully my final consultation.

When new pants = happiness

Yesterday I bought my first pair of maternity jeans. I’m sure some of you are wondering how I managed to get to this size without getting a pair of maternity pants:


The short answer is: because I couldn’t find any.

I’ve complained before about the lack of shopping in my town – I’ve regularly scoured the stores in the area for decent maternity wear with no luck. There are only two big stores where I live: Target (the Australian stores are much smaller than the American ones) and BigW (Australia’s version of Kmart/Walmart, but again on a smaller scale). At both stores, the maternity wear section is limited to just a couple short racks of clothes, most of which are 3/4 length yoga pants and workout tops...not exactly the cute and fashionable maternity gear I was hoping for when I started shopping!

I’ve also written about the dearth of online shopping in Australia – although there are a number of maternity wear boutiques online, most of them are very overpriced and few have accommodating return policies, so I'm extremely hesitant to plonk down my hard earned cash on an expensive pair of pants that may or may not fit and that I may or may not be able to return.

But yesterday, I got lucky. I’d seen maternity jeans at Target before, but only in sizes far too small for me to squeeze into (8 and 10, which would be about sizes 4 and 6 in the USA). But the maternity wear gods must have smiled on me yesterday, because there they were – just one single pair of jeans in my size! I grabbed them and clutched them to my chest. I didn’t even check the price tag. Those puppies were MINE.

Today is the first day I’m wearing my precious jeans, and it is BLISS. Sweet, wonderful bliss! For the first time in months, my pants actually fit! Until now, I’d been using my old pants with a Belly Belt, but it wasn’t really doing the trick – yes, technically I could wear them, but the belt sat too low and I had to constantly pull them up. Today, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, my jeans are staying up all by themselves and I’m comfortable for the first time in months.

It's amazing what a new pair of pants can do for your outlook on life!

P.S. I want to send some very special birthday wishes to little Miss Libby, as Divasaur is being induced in just a few hours! Welcome to the world, little one and congratulations Mr & Mrs Divasaur!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Thirty-Nine Weeks

Today I am thirty-nine weeks and one day pregnant and it's my last day of this pregnancy. I will be induced tomorrow at 5 a.m. and plan to meet our little girl tomorrow. Mr. Divasaur is adorable...he purchased 4 dozen birthday cupcakes in chocolate and vanilla to share with the staff at the hospital tomorrow. They are the same cupcakes I bought to announce my pregnancy at work! And he keeps singing the Happy Birthday Song. He's positively giddy. Several times today he's said, "honey...we're having a baby TOMORROW!"

I, on the other hand, am vacillating between calm composure and overwhelming anxiety. I am nervous about what could or could not happen tomorrow. To me. And to my baby. I am praying that everything happens the best way that it can. And trying to meditate and be positive. I have resting a lot and it's felt good to just cat nap when I need to sleep. Mr. Divasaur and I went to a movie and have eaten at a couple of our favorite restaurants. We've taking walks and given extra attention to our furbabies, who are super clingy right now. We've also updated our Birth Plan (to include that fact that I will now be induced), shopped for last minute baby things (Lanisoh, Soothies Gel Breast Pads and infant finger nail clippers), and finally packed our hospital bags. Yes, there's two. One with clothing and toiletries and the other with extras such as bath sheets, pillows, comfort measures (massage lotions, tools, etc.), camera, laptop, etc.

Here's what's in our bags:

Purse with ID, insurance card and epidural registration card

Clothing for me:
Sports bras and sarong (for L&D)
Fleece Robe
PJs (three pair of button front tops/drawstring pants)
Nursing Tanks
Socks
Crocs (for shower, walking the halls, etc.)
Uggs
velour hoodie/sweatsuit (one in pink; one in black)
Granny panties

Clothing for baby:
NB sized outfit with hat, socks, onesie, etc.
0-3 sized outfit with hat, socks, onesie, etc.
Bunting
Outfit for first photo (hospital photo)
Swaddling Blankets

Clothing for hubby:
Lounge clothes
Shoes
Socks
T-shirts
Underwear
Glasses & Contacts
Swim trunks (for assisting in shower)

Electronics:
Camera with charger and USB cord
Laptop with charger
Cell Phone with charger

Extras:
CDs for labor/post partum (or use laptop with AccuRadio.com)
Bath sheets (2 - one for me; one for DH)
Birthing Ball
Bath mat (for birthing ball and/or shower)
Snacks/drinks for mom, hubby & doula
Cupcakes for nurses/staff
Moby Wrap
Notebook/pen
Pillows (body pillow, king sized pillow and one smaller one)
Extra blanket for hubby
Change for vending machines/cash for cafeteria
Car seat
Birth plan (several copies)
Tennis balls and other massage tools/items
Massage lotion/oil
Essential oil (Grapefruit)
Hard candies
Breath mints
My Brest Friend Pillow
Travel Neck Pillow

Toiletries:
Glasses and contacts
Contact Solution
Lip Balm
Lotion
Make-up
Hair products
Hair clips and headbands, etc.
Lanisoh
Q-tips
Neti Pot
Vaseline
Tucks Pads
Eye drops
Toothbrushes and Toothpaste
Nail file/baby nail clippers for baby

We live 5 minutes from the hospital so if there's something I want and didn't pack, I'll send my mom back to get it. That said, I've packed with the possibility that I will have to stay 4 nights in case my induction leads to a c-section. I am hoping for a vaginal birth and to check out after 24 or 48 hours at the most. We shall see. DH plans to stay with us as long as we're in the hospital, even though I've told him that if he's not sleeping well that I'd prefer he go home and sleep in our bed and come back in the morning. Again we'll just have to play it all by ear.

So there you have it. I cannot believe that this time last year we had just decided that we were ready to start our family and now, a year later, we're preparing to meet our baby girl. It's amazing. And what a wild ride. While the end of my first pregnancy is near, I am sure that this is just the beginning of what will certainly be a life-changing journey.

Two months away...

I know I've been a bad 'Saur and haven't posted in a while. Truth be told, it's been difficult thinking of things to post about when everything's been going so well!

So what has been going on? How about a quick wrap-up of baby-related events...

Friday, my sister-in-law (who is 20 weeks pregnant) had her big ultrasound, and we found out she's having another baby girl!

We're so excited for them, and can't wait to meet our new niece, Macy, in June! And I know our 4-year-old niece, Haley, is going to be a wonderful Big Sister.

Yesterday was our first baby shower, hosted by three of my awesome girlfriends. I had such a great time, laughing, visiting, and opening presents. Mr. Citysaur got to come along, and he enjoyed it as well. We got a lot of great stuff, including tons of oh-so-adorable baby boy clothes. I don't have any pictures to share because one of the hostesses was going to town with her super-fancy Nikon camera, so I didn't even bother getting my camera out. I'll just wait for her pictures!

Today is January 24...which means we're exactly two months away from our due date of March 24! Because things don't exactly line up months-to-weeks, I won't be 32 weeks/8 months pregnant until Wednesday...but the reality of being only two months away from the due date is definitely hitting me today!

We still have lots of baby stuff to get done - like painting the nursery (hoping to get that done next weekend), deciding whose insurance he's going to go on, installing the carseat, and packing a bag for the birth center. We still have two Bradley birth classes left. And likely, two more showers to go. I know my mom and aunt are throwing us one in March (I'll be 38 weeks at that shower...hope the baby stays put until after then!)...and there's a good chance I'll get one at work too.

I have a feeling things are going to go fast from now until this baby comes...so I'm just buckling down and getting ready for the ride!

Also, I'm sending out lots of luck and good labor vibes to Divasaur for her induction tomorrow! I know it's not the birth experience you were hoping for, D, but I'm so excited that you'll be meeting Libby in about a day!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

No Flo No!!

She came, she saw, she conquered. She is Auntie Flo, the conquered one is me. Bottom line is that this sucks.... oh, and please pass the extra strength Tylenol.
I shake my fist and say "CURSE YOU AUNT FLO SCUM!!!"

I guess I feel a little better now.

I had pretty high hopes for this cycle...I didn't start until 14dpo, but a couple of days before AF showed up my temps began to drop. That's always a pretty good indicator.






Here's my complete chart for last month:





So, here we go again. Time to save up energy for some serious BDing.

Mr. Shortysaur and I discussed whether I should do another round of clomid or not, and I think we've decided to try it one more time. Third times a charm, right? I was going back and forth about whether I should take it again because the first month it messed with my temps, and the second one it threw my O date into left field. DH said maybe my body will have adjusted to it after the first two times, and hopefully the third time things will be a little more regular when it comes to O. Sounds like good logic to me! My sweetie is always so supportive, logical and even keeled... I just love that man of mine!





The last time I went to the doctor, he said that we should try clomid for 4-5 months, then if nothing happens, we should come back and explore having a laproscopy to look for things like endometriosis. Up until this point all the tests say we are totally normal and healthy, and I have no other symptoms to suggest anything is wrong other than infertility. So DH and I decided that we're not going have any more intervention or tests after this last round of clomid, unless in the future I start having serious pain or something else to indicate that there is something wrong.

I decided early on that if all the tests say we're healthy, then it's just a matter waiting on God for the right timing. As I've said in previous posts, it's all about faith for me and I believe that if we are meant to have another child then it will happen at the perfect time. I know I'm being refined and tested through this whole process and I feel priviledged that this experience is making me a better person and a more loving mother for my sweet little girl and for my children that are yet to be...

Don't get me wrong, it is not easy to stay focused on those aspects. I could never do it without my wonderful husband. For example, DH came to the rescue on the morning that AF showed up when I was feeling pretty down. Before he left for work he said to me that he had been thinking all morning about how thankful he is for all that we have, and that we always need to remember to be thankful no matter what because we are so blessed already. He always says exactly what I need to hear at the perfect time. After he left I prayed for peace in my heart and a wonderful sense of calm came over me. I actually ended up having a really good day, amazingly enough.

In all honesty I'm often tempted to give up on ttc all together, but I always change my mind. I can never lose hope that the desire of our hearts will be fulfilled someday and that we should keep at it until we are triumphant!


And so the journey continues...

Sugar me up!

This morning I had the dreaded 1-hour gestational diabetes screening. I've read so many stories about how awful it is that I was really not looking forward to it...but I have to say, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was anticipating!

Until now, the only thing I'd read about it was from American sources, and I was really dreading the sickly sweet orange-flavored drink; although I loooooove fresh oranges, I hate orange flavored things, especially drinks (I'd rather go thirsty than drink Sunkist). So I was pleasantly surprised when the phlebotomist handed me a cup and a little bottle of clear liquid - it tasted a lot like Sprite, only a little weaker. No orange-flavored nastiness here!



I felt fine for the entire test, which, as far as I know means nothing. I've read reports of women feeling fine and passing the screening, feeling fine and failing it, and people who feel dizzy and awful both seem to pass and fail in equal numbers as well. I was a little tired and headachy at the end, but I don't know if I should attribute that to the test or to the fact that I didn't sleep well last night. We shall see.

I'm a little nervous about the results - one of the less pleasant side effects of carrying twins is that you're more susceptible to everything: things like hypertension, pre-eclampsia, and of course, gestational diabetes - a woman carrying multiples is two to three times more likely to have GD than one carrying a singleton, so there's absolutely a chance that my test will come back with bad results.

I'm not sure when I'll find out - I don't see my OBGYN until February 1, but I'm presuming that if the results are poor, I'll hear from him long before then. Wish me luck!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thirty-Eight Weeks

This is my thirty-eighth and last week of pregnancy. I will be induced on Monday morning at 5 a.m. at 39w2d. I cannot believe that the end is almost near. I decided to start my maternity leave this week and it's been a real blessing. I've been able to rest and relax, take care of little last minute to-do items like scheduling our baby's first doctor's appointment, her first photo shoot, get her books and toys organized, bottles sanitized, etc. We've installed the baby monitor in her crib (we went with the AngelCare Movement and Sound Monitor) and the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper (original size) next to our bed. She'll nap in the crib and sleep nights in our room in the co-sleeper. I also managed to hit up some local consignment stores and scored a brand-new, in the package, activity playmat for $13 as well as some cute cotton sleepers, and adorable Amy Coe knit cap and booties for very little money. Score!
My husband has been off this week too (since we initially thought yesterday would be our induction date) and we've been enjoying sleeping in, taking daily walks together and just enjoying our remaining days of couple time without a baby.

Unfortunately, this week has also brought some added stress from family issues. They say that life changing events like weddings, funerals and births tend to bring out the worst in some family members. And I can attest, it's true. This week has stirred up drama with our mothers. And it's hit me extra hard, I think, because I am about to become a mother myself.

Without getting into the big, gory details, it boils down to this: both my DH and I are adult children of alcoholics/addicts. And even though our mother's are sober (technically, that is...they don't drink alcohol anymore), they both continue to exhibit dysfunctional behavior that affects their mental, physical and emotional health. And their actions (or sometimes lack of action) continues to negatively impact us.

I don't know why I am surprised that just as we are preparing to become parents, a huge life step, they have both come up with ways to pull the attention towards them and yet again, put us in the position of having to parent our parents. My husband and I are doing our best to cope, draw clear boundaries and not get too sucked into their dramas. It's tough though and it's really making me take stock of my own wishes for parenting our children.

In the back of my mind I have always known that becoming a mother would stir this stuff up. I guess I just didn't anticipate that it would be at the same time I am bringing my baby into this world. So my husband and I are talking, talking, talking and if need be, I plan to meet with a counselor. The last thing I want is to have these feelings, along with everything that comes along with being a new mother, to overwhelm me and lead to depression or emotional shut down. Thankfully, I am off work for several weeks and will have the time to do whatever to takes to manage all of this stuff.

That said, in addition to all of this emotional turmoil, I am waffling between feeling excited to meet our little girl and anxious that we're not ready. I am pretty sure this is normal. With all of this time off, I have re-read La Leche League's "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" and re-worked our birth plan to include the issues that induction brings. I have spent time visualizing how I hope our birth goes and am also mentally prepared for what may happen...like a c-section. At the end of the day, I know none of it is really in my control and that as long as Libby and I are healthy and safe that is all that really matters.

According to BabyCenter, here's what's happening this week:

Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

Getting out the "big guns" for Cycle 5

After 6 days of disappointing spotting, AF decided to arrive after 52 days! At first, I was excited. Finally I could get on with TTC and stop wondering (for at least a couple of weeks) what was going on with my body. Then, I felt kind of like this:



Perhaps because AF had been away for a while, it was not a very pleasant visit.

This is Cycle #5 of TTC since my miscarriage. So, now we are getting out the "big guns".


I started using the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor this week. I was very excited about this, much like Lillysaur has mentioned in her recent post. I was also in a hurry to get my monitor so I could begin using it ASAP. Since my previous cycle had been 21 days, I hoped the monitor would get to me in time to start using it for my next cycle. Ironically, the monitor sat here for several weeks while I waited for AF!

Using the CBEFM feels like a new beginning for me. It is my understanding that the monitor tracks 2 hormones, both estrogen and LH, instead of just LH like the traditional OPK tests. This could give me the heads up on up to 6 fertile days per cycle as opposed to 2 with the OPK strips. Well, that is the theory anyway. I'm not sure what my body is actually doing or not doing. I hope the CBEFM will help to clarify this for us. I feel like I have access to more information about my cycle now. This gives me renewed hope that we really can conceive again.

Since I am not sure if I am really ovulating, I have gotten out another "big gun":


I was against taking my BBT for the longest time. I now think that this information is too valuable to ignore any longer. So, my alarm is set for 5:45 a.m. each day to do this deed. I've only done this for 2 days now so it isn't too bad yet. I am also toying with the idea of setting up a Fertility Friend account. It seems like this is another "big gun" in the TTC arsenal that has helped a lot of women conceive.

I am drinking a cup of green tea and pomegranate juice every day faithfully. I am considering purchasing some PreSeed in case Mr. Pharmasaur and I need a little help with the BD process. And of course, BDing needs to be a very regular activity in the next week or two!

If I do appear to be ovulating, I will stock up on pineapples and munch on those daily. Luckily, I love pineapple!

I have no idea how long this cycle will be. My longest cycle recently was 52 days and my shortest cycle was 21 days. This is why I am pulling out all the "big guns" for TTC on Cycle #5.

Does anyone else have any other tried and true TTC suggestions they'd like to share? I'm all ears!

Giveaway - gorgeous baby goodies from 303Baby!


I think it's time for another giveaway...don't you?!

The Prize
The fabulous 303Baby has generously given us this awesome set of handmade goodies from her etsy store for one lucky winner!


The Goodies
A sweet bib, burp cloth and diaper caddy set in gender neutral fabric - I love the trendy pattern and the coziness of the fluffy terry cloth backing!

The Ways to Enter
There are three different ways to enter - take your pick!
  1. Become a follower of Pregosaur, and post a comment
  2. Blog or twitter about this contest, and post a link along with a comment
  3. Vote for Pregosaur on Top Baby Blogs by clicking this button: Vote For Us @ TopBabyBlogs.Com - A Top Baby Blog List By topbabyblogs.com and then leave a comment

The Rules
  • only one entry per person, please
  • the contest will end Wednesday, February 3 at midnight (Pacific Time)
  • the winner will be randomly selected and announced in a new post the next day - so make sure you check back in!
THE GIVEAWAY IS OVER! THANKS EVERYONE FOR ENTERING!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Test Complete

All of our initial testing is done. After all the results come in I have to call and schedule and apt. for us to go and hear our plan of action. Since Dec 24th I have had 3 blood tests, 2 trans vaginal ultrasound (including one with saline) the hubby has had 2 sperm analysis and one blood test. He just completed the blood work yesterday so we should have our news by next Wed.

source

As of last post I had talked about having to possibly get the chicken pox vaccine. I have not heard back yet but have decided to get the vaccine if need be which would put us out of baby trying for three months. This is not a huge deal as it would only put me out one cycle and enter back in real close to ovulation for the cycle after that. It would be worth it, why risk the babies health.

I also left off with having to get my saline ultrasound. It really wasn't that bad. They had me empty my bladder and lay on the table naked from the waist down. The tech (who I really like) explained everything and then went and got the doctor. It is a two person deal. The Dr. inserts the speculum which really is the worst part. I was told to take 2 ibuprofen and hour before to help with the cramping. After the speculum was in she fed the catheter which was a small tube kinda like spaghetti into my uterus and then speculum was removed which was good because I really hate that tool. Then the tech inserted the ultrasound camera. At this point the catheter came out and had to be reinserted which meant the speculum came back in. This time I felt the cramping. Nothing terrible it was like period cramps.

Source


After everything was inserted properly the doctor fed saline solution through the catheter while the camera was in to check for blockages in my tubes. Apparently last time they thought they saw a blockage in my left fallopian tube so they were shocked to see the solution pass through with ease. The think it may be a heavy vessel, nothing to worry about they said it may just give me a heavy pulling feeling during my period. At this point they were both smiling and said the whole area looked textbook, the doc even said my uterus was gorgeous which was weirdly flattering. The whole process took less than 10 minutes. Like I said the speculum was the worst part, although feeling the solution come back out was a little weird. They told me to wear a pantyliner that I may leak for a couple of hours and may spot for a day or two. After I left I did feel wet down there but nothing terrible. I did experience some cramping on and off but no spotting. I am relieved to know everything is working properly for me even if my period is irregular. Hopefully the same comes back for Mr. Relaxasaur and if not we take it one day at a time.

Tonight we went to a friends house who has a 7 month old baby. She is the cutest little girl. As soon as we got there my sister handed the baby off to Mr. R and she took to him immediately. She was burrowing in his chest and he played with her for about 15 minutes until she fell asleep on him. Instead of giving her back he went to the couch and sat down with her for about 45 minutes. It was so cute and he looked like a natural. It made my heart melt and I can't wait to see him like that with our child, whenever that may be.

Huge Fundal Height Measurement

Hi Everyone,

I had my midwife appointment yesterday. Wow. It seemed like a lot of information to take in this time.

The major points include:

  • My fundal height is measuring 29.5cm when it should be 27cm...
  • My blood pressure is high (it usually is a tad high, but higher than normal this time)
  • My twenty pound weight gain in two months could be contributed to Gestational Diabetes
It actually makes it seem less overwhelming to see it all laid out in three lines of type. That helps. I think I was most alarmed by the fundal measurement as my husband's family makes HUGE babies. To put it in perspective I am just under 5'2" and don't think a large baby will be able to come out of me very easily. Not only that, but his family insists on bringing it up every. single. time. we talk about the baby. I truly thought that I would be able to convince it to be on the small (but still healthy, of course) side through sheer will.
My blood pressure is typically a bit elevated most of the time, and usually we do two or three reads to try to get the most accurate one. I think it's a bit of the white coat syndrome even though my lovely midwives dont' wear white coats ;) This time even the last read was still a bit high, and I'm just hoping it goes down. I was relieved to hear that they would be with me no matter what (well, except for a premature birth) even if I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, or gestational diabetes.
I am going to take the Glucose test tomorrow morning because I don't think I can wait too much longer without knowing and you are supposed to do it before the 28th week anyway. I also have to do a food diary for three days to see if there are any areas that they can help me in terms of nutrition. I gave a quick description of what I have been eating like and they both seemed to think that it sounded ok, but I do need to get some exercise in. I explained that my hips and pelvis are still really bothering me since the accident and they recommended swimming... However, as nice and lovely as all the weightlessness sounds.... the fear of the dreaded bathing suit may take some getting used to. I literally haven't worn a bathing suit since I was about sixteen or seventeen, and I admit to some body image issues. I am going to try to find a prenatal yoga class that will work for me because I do see the benefit in attempting to work out the kinks in my painful parts that will help me in all aspects of my life and this pregnancy.
So, I guess I will post again after my GD test, and hope that it's negative.... more because of the huge baby thing than the maintenance through diet and exercise... that I can deal with I just don't want to give myself more chances to have to have a c-section etc.
The house deal is basically gone through though (YAY!), but unfortunately our mortgage payment is slightly higher than we hoped for so now we have a new set of budgeting to do. Also, we hadn't factored in life and house insurance along with the property taxes etc. It's looking like it will be close to six hundred dollars more a month more than we are paying now. And although it is very much worth it it's still alot to take in especially when my income is going to be cut in half in a matter of months, so we really don't even have a lot of time to save!
It's interesting in Canada that because we legally have almost a year of maternity (at a restricted pay level) that there is basically no child care available for very small children. For those people who may have to go back to work due to financial reasons or because they want to they have very limited options of how to ensure their child is taken care of other than by a family member. I have asked my bosses to allow me to work part time possibly from home after the first few months of getting acquainted with baby, and they said to play it by ear but that it would probably work out great. So I'm hoping to maintain my maternity leave pay from the government, but supplement it with some part time work to make ends meet.
Anyway, have to go now, but have a great week everyone and hope everyone is healthy and happy!

Impatiently waiting

I´ve had it with charting. Somehow waking up every morning and making love to the thermometer got old. So old that I haven´t charted a cycle in a few months...I still log onto FF and enter any symptoms or signs I might be having on that particular day. I faithfully enter our BD dates and CM, but no more temperatures. Besides, I think the dog might find the therm really yummy and want to try it out sometime...I´ve heard of it´s happening.

I´m not quite sure why I haven´t managed to get KU again since my last m/c now over a year ago. I really thought it would have happened again by now. I didn´t have any trouble getting KU the previous times....but something is different. And something made my last cycle way shorter than usual. I *think* I o´d on something like CD 9 or 10--way early for me. So this last cycle was the shortest cycle I´ve ever had at 24 days.

I´ve decided to take some action....So I´ve ordered the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor! I´m very excited about this for some reason. Maybe it´s because I´m a pee-aholic and hated the guesswork involved with OPKs. I just hope it gets here in time for me to use this cycle. It needs to be here by CD6 for that to work. I´m crossing my fingers that it does, and I keep checking on its progress. It´s been turned over to international shipping so hopefully that means it´s on the continent now. I´m impatient to POAS and see those bars change from low to high to peak fertility! I´ll be keeping you posted on my new CBEFM adventure, so stay tuned!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sometimes I just sigh…

At least 3 times a week my sweet little 5 year old girl says. “Mommy, I REALLY want a brother or a sister. Everyone at gymnastics class has a brother or a sister!”

*SIGH*

What do you say to that? Usually it's something like, “I know sweetie, I really want that too, just keep praying.” I’ve tried many times to put this 'having kids thing' in terms that she can understand. This has proven to be very difficult, especially when I myself don’t fully understand why we haven’t had another child by now.

One thing I do know is that through it all I have become more patient and have grown stronger in my faith, which is always a good thing. Perseverance isn’t something you are born with; it’s something you can only learn through experience.

I know in time, our next perfect child will come. The child itself will be perfect for us, as will the timing. That’s what happened to us the first time around with our DD. I wasn’t very patient back then when it came to having a child. I wanted to get pregnant so badly, and if I had had my way back then, we would’ve had a baby months earlier. And that little one wouldn’t have been the DD that I love and adore and who came at the absolute best time. My consolation in all of this is that I am growing and becoming a more mature adult, a more faithful Christian and that MY timing isn’t always the best timing.

A song comes to mind…







“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!”





Looking in hindsight, I am very glad that DH and I have had this many years with just our DD. It’s been wonderful to focus fully on raising her through the early years of her life. I’m also a pretty laid back mommy who really loves her sleep & peaceful morning routine, so I’m not sure how I’d do with a big ol’ brood of little ones running around.





I’m NO Michelle Duggar, that's for sure.

When we finally do have another child, our DD will be at least 6 years old and will definitely be a big help to her mommy! She’s very much a little mother herself who constantly wants to help around the house.

Ahhh…I can just see it now. “Sweetie, can you change the baby’s diaper?” To which she will reply, “Sure, mommy! I’d LOVE to!” Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but then again, maybe not. She has been known to say "Mommy, maybe you'll have twin babies, and then I can feed one, and you can feed one!" Sounds like a brilliant plan.

I’m also very excited for my DD to participate in my next pregnancy. Involving her in things like having a countdown, showing her fruit pictures of how big the baby is at any given time, having her help me decorate the nursery, etc. etc. I’m really looking forward to it all.

In other news... an update!

I actually do have some good info to report. AF hasn’t made her unwelcome appearance yet! I’m on cycle day 33, approximately 11 DPO and there are still no signs of our least favorite Auntie. My temperature has been steadily high, so at this point I’m encouraged.

I probably need a smack on the hand though because I POAS at 9 DPO.

Bravo Foxtrot November. Duh.


I know... silly, silly, silly me. If I have any defense at all, it’s that I bought a multi pack of OPK’s and pregnancy test strips so I do have quite a few. At least I didn’t waste much money appeasing my curiosity.

My answer will come, sooner or later. It always does.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Two Thirds Down One Third to GO!

We are in the home stretch now! It feels like the last twenty seven weeks have gone so slowly, but I can't believe that there is only thirteen (give or take) to go! It's gone so fast and so slow all at the same time. I am only now starting to feel pregnant, and have just started to show. Only one stranger so far has asked about the pregnancy. I am not very big, but I must be carrying high because it's just not obvious that I'm pregnant unless you really look for it. To me it FEELS like I have a mountain sitting on my tummy, but I don't really feel like I look much different.

The baby is getting bigger though, and is now making more pronounced kicks, but they are deep inside me so my husband doesn't get to feel much so far. The baby is still breech from what I can tell because the movement I feel is towards my back and down very low. Also, my new symptom is a nausea-inducing violent rib pain that almost nothing can ease. I have been told that it's most common with breech babies because sometimes their little heads are tucked up underneath the ribs- and it certainly feels like that is the case!

Also, sleeping has become interesting only because I can't roll over without agony. It's awful, and I can't tell if it's normal for being pregnant or accentuated because of the car accident. I still walk like I have been riding a horse because my pelvis is still very sore, and I'm sure the extra weight isn't helping in that regard.

In exciting news, the offer that we placed on a house has been accepted and now we are just in the process of doing an amendment to take off the "subject to's" because our financing was approved etc. So we should know by the end of the week a possession date! I have very mixed feelings about this only because we have a very small window of opportunity to finish the renovations before the baby comes, and as everyone knows renovations are NEVER as simple as you imagine them to be. I also am trying very hard to concentrate on school so that I will be done the blasted course before baby as well. I imagine we will be able to take possession toward the end of February and therefore be able to work on it for approximately two months before the baby arrives...

We also have to consider where we will live during all of this as we don't want to be paying rent and a mortgage at the same time! So needless to say if I thought my life couldn't get more complicated, apparently... it can! It's such an exciting opportunity though, and I can't wait to make it work I just wish I had more time and energy to devote to our new project. As it stands I'm having a tough time making it through a normal forty plus hour work week!

I have my midwife appointment tomorrow though, and I believe this is the one where we chat about the glucose test and set me up an appointment for it. I am irrationally nervous for this one! I am really hoping that the result is negative, but it certainly helps to know that Divasaur has done such a great job of having a positive attitude and managing GD! I hope that I would have her strength to deal with it if it happens.

I am also nervous about my weight gain and that I believe is what is making me extra nervous about the glucose test. I have gained almost twenty pounds now and only in the span of just over two months! I hadn't gained anything until after the four month mark, and now it's like I just can't stop gaining! I don't feel like I'm eating that poorly, but maybe just too much?! I have stretch marks around my old appendectomy incision scar (I think the skin may be weaker there?) and a tiny little patch close to the same area. Isn't this too soon!? I didn't think I would care about the stretch marks, but having analyzed myself I think they represent my fear of excessive weight gain; which up until this twenty pounds showed up overnight I thought I was managing quite well.

I think pregnancy is so beautiful, but unfortunately it doesn't look or feel beautiful on me, and that was a major surprise to me considering how I felt about it before I got pregnant. I know that if I am blessed enough to get pregnant again I will be trying extremely hard to get in great shape before it happens! I would love to have way less body image issues when I experience this again.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great week! Good luck to Divasaur on her induction :) Welcome to Shortysaur! Good luck to Bibliosaur on the bargain hunting!

Induction Rescheduled

I've just returned from my appointment with the OB/GYN...she's agreed to reschedule our induction to next Monday. So January 25th it will be...5 a.m. Unless Libby decides between now and then to debut on her own (I am so praying for that)! I am so glad I asked if there was any risk in waiting. If I hadn't I am sure I'd still be on schedule to induce this Wednesday even though my cervix is only 2 cm.

Since my blood sugars are good she's comfortable with delaying the induction. And, Libby measured 7 lbs. 2 oz. today whereas last week we were told 7 lbs. 8 oz. so obviously this is not an exact science (sort of frustrating, really) and I would just love to give her as much time as possible, in case the measurements are really off. No need to bring a preemie into this world for less than pressing reasons.

With delaying 5 days (from this Wednesday to next Monday) I will not need cervical softening (Cervidil or Cytotec), so we'll just start with a low dose of Pitocin and then she'll break my water. Again, more interventions than I had hoped for, but certainly less to start with than if we tried to do it this week. She has also turned sunny-side up (again) so I have week to get her turn over. I see lots of pelvic rocking and hanging my belly in my future.

That said, I've already started my maternity leave (as of today) and considered going back into work this week, but honestly I am beat! I am not sleeping well and I am just going to take this week to prepare for labor and delivery and bringing home our baby girl.

How big is your baby?

One of the fun things about being pregnant is reading about your baby's development week by week - what they're doing, how they're growing, and how big they are.

At the start of this pregnancy, I used to send Mr Bibliosaur weekly updates from The Bump to tell him what size the babies were - they have a handy dandy fruit chart that tells you the average dimensions of your baby, and gives you a sweet image to go along with it. For example, this is what it tells me about our babies for today, at exactly 25 weeks:

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). 
Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. 
Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. 
Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

Pretty cool, right? The thing was, Mr Bibliosaur wasn't impressed. Fruit? Who cares about fruit? So around the beginning of the second trimester, I decided to find a chart that would hold a bit more meaning for him. And did I ever!

Over at His Boys Can Swim, Tarzan created the Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers. On THAT list, week 25 looks like this:

13 inch boot? You know what
they say… Your baby is about
this long during these weeks.



Who needs fruit when you can see that your baby is the size of a golf ball on week 11, a stud finder on week 16, and, as Mr Bibliosaur gleefully informed me, "the size of one nice-sized boob" at week 20?

So how big is YOUR baby? The size of a banana, or more like a bottle of beer?