Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sometimes I just sigh…

At least 3 times a week my sweet little 5 year old girl says. “Mommy, I REALLY want a brother or a sister. Everyone at gymnastics class has a brother or a sister!”


What do you say to that? Usually it's something like, “I know sweetie, I really want that too, just keep praying.” I’ve tried many times to put this 'having kids thing' in terms that she can understand. This has proven to be very difficult, especially when I myself don’t fully understand why we haven’t had another child by now.

One thing I do know is that through it all I have become more patient and have grown stronger in my faith, which is always a good thing. Perseverance isn’t something you are born with; it’s something you can only learn through experience.

I know in time, our next perfect child will come. The child itself will be perfect for us, as will the timing. That’s what happened to us the first time around with our DD. I wasn’t very patient back then when it came to having a child. I wanted to get pregnant so badly, and if I had had my way back then, we would’ve had a baby months earlier. And that little one wouldn’t have been the DD that I love and adore and who came at the absolute best time. My consolation in all of this is that I am growing and becoming a more mature adult, a more faithful Christian and that MY timing isn’t always the best timing.

A song comes to mind…

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!”

Looking in hindsight, I am very glad that DH and I have had this many years with just our DD. It’s been wonderful to focus fully on raising her through the early years of her life. I’m also a pretty laid back mommy who really loves her sleep & peaceful morning routine, so I’m not sure how I’d do with a big ol’ brood of little ones running around.

I’m NO Michelle Duggar, that's for sure.

When we finally do have another child, our DD will be at least 6 years old and will definitely be a big help to her mommy! She’s very much a little mother herself who constantly wants to help around the house.

Ahhh…I can just see it now. “Sweetie, can you change the baby’s diaper?” To which she will reply, “Sure, mommy! I’d LOVE to!” Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but then again, maybe not. She has been known to say "Mommy, maybe you'll have twin babies, and then I can feed one, and you can feed one!" Sounds like a brilliant plan.

I’m also very excited for my DD to participate in my next pregnancy. Involving her in things like having a countdown, showing her fruit pictures of how big the baby is at any given time, having her help me decorate the nursery, etc. etc. I’m really looking forward to it all.

In other news... an update!

I actually do have some good info to report. AF hasn’t made her unwelcome appearance yet! I’m on cycle day 33, approximately 11 DPO and there are still no signs of our least favorite Auntie. My temperature has been steadily high, so at this point I’m encouraged.

I probably need a smack on the hand though because I POAS at 9 DPO.

Bravo Foxtrot November. Duh.

I know... silly, silly, silly me. If I have any defense at all, it’s that I bought a multi pack of OPK’s and pregnancy test strips so I do have quite a few. At least I didn’t waste much money appeasing my curiosity.

My answer will come, sooner or later. It always does.


  1. I wish you nothing but the best!!! I have been suffering myself, and actually it was great to think about those lyrics! It's so true and goes with my belief that everything happens for a reason. I just have to remind myself. I hope this is it for you!

  2. All the best for a BFP! Fingers crossed for you!

  3. Thank you so much for posting this! DH and I have recently started TTC and I've decided that I need to remember there is a perfect plan and perfect timing for us and it will happen when it's meant to happen. :)