Thursday, October 1, 2009

Patience a Virtue?

Patience means the capacity to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming angry or upset. Mine are wearing thin. I counted the days of my last cycle and there were 75 from start to finish. I thought maybe it was a fluke but now I am wondering if that is par for the course? I have decided to stop charting because it was driving me nuts the way my temps would rise and fall a day or two later. It was not helping my situation. Right now I am on day 46 and still no clue where I am in my cycle. Then I started looking back into grad school and I my patience actually started to come back. I was thinking maybe long cycles aren't so bad because it might take longer to get pregnant and then I can a good portion of my education out of the way.

I am sick of being in a dead end job sure its fun for now but its not forever. I want to go back to school so I can become a professor. I have always got a certain joy out of helping people learn. I got stuck in a rut after I started bartending because I only worked three days a week and sometimes there would be days I wouldn't even get out of my sweats or leave our apartment.

When I was in college I felt great, I loved being on campus and attending classes, I even enjoyed homework. I forgot about that feeling until two weeks ago. I was walking downtown and walked by two colleges and I got that "feeling"and started looking into going back and for the first time since TTC I was able to concentrate on something besides getting knocked up and it feels great. So now instead of temping, and watching my CM and all that good stuff we are just doing it when we feel like it and if it doesn't end in a BFP I wont be all that upset. I know that I'm against a clock but I am hoping that I have enough time to get some of the things I want to do out of the way first.

1 comment:

  1. I think that sounds like a great plan! I'm a big fan of finding ways to distract yourself while TTC - grad school is an awesome idea because then you get something (a degree, a new career) out of it, too!