Thursday, October 15, 2009

Waiting for the 2ww to usual...

I'm on cycle day 19 and as far as I know I haven't ovulated yet. To be honest, I'm not surprised at all considering that my cycle was 44 days long last time. DH and I haven't even really BD'd much or worried about it at all. He's off for a week long business trip today, so if I ovulate sometime within the next week, then this cycle's out. If I haven't ovulated by the time he gets back, then we'll start trying again. I haven't yet tried Pre-Seed, so we'll probably use that soon.

The truth is, the longer it's taking us to get pregnant, the more unsure I'm becoming. Not that I don't want a baby, but sometimes I just feel tired of the whole process. I'm also suddenly starting to freak out about our lives changing so dramatically. I hadn't felt this way at all since we started trying in May and now suddenly I'm scared. It's really strange and I don't know what has brought it on. DH is ready and we have everything in place to save money and so on, but somehow I just keep questioning it. I guess I kind of feel like I haven't been able to get pregnant yet because maybe I'm not meant to be right now. We are both only 25 and we really do have a lot of time if we decide to wait. But then when I think about waiting, it makes me feel disappointed. I guess I had my hopes up that it would happen and since it hasn't happened, I just kind of feel like I don't care anymore.

Sorry to be so depressing, it's just that I really can't articulate how I feel right now. Maybe it's for the best that he'll be gone for a week and I can think a little more. It just seems like everywhere I go someone is pregnant or has a new baby and I can't help wishing I were in their place. Seriously, when is it going to happen for us? I know it takes many people a long time, but why did I ever take birth control to begin with if it would be so hard!

I think only time will tell...


  1. Don't stress. You still have so much time to get preggers! Enjoy your life. You are not up against a biological clock yet. Breathe. Smile. It will happen when it is meant to. Meanwhile, live and enjoy your alone time with your man. (my 2-cents)

  2. If it makes you feel any better, I felt the same way. The cycle before I got knocked up, I was actually thinking of stopping TTCing for a while. It's not that I didn't want a baby, but I was just so TIRED...tired of waiting, tired of planning, tired of having my life revolve in four-week cycles. You're not alone!

  3. I think we are in the same boat again. I know how you feel and I think its normal to feel this way while TTC. It is hard to focus on something else but when you can it does help.

  4. The waiting part is rough!!! I've had to keep myself busy so that I don't go crazy, because I waiver on my thoughts if I want to or not, if it's the right time, can we afford it, etc, etc.

    Hang in there!