Today, armed with the knowledge of what I should have been doing this afternoon, my heart is heavy and tears are ready to drop onto my keyboard a moment's notice.
Today, I wonder... will it ever get any easier? Will this sharp pain of loss and longing be carried with me for the rest of my days? Everytime I pass a milestone, will I feel this way? And, can a new baby replace this one, the one that was supposed to be our child in September?
And today, I must remind myself, that I've had a good week. And that for the most part I've felt happy and hopeful for the future. And that while there are always hard times, there are always good ones too.
Today, I am sad. I hurt. I want to curl up in a ball and cry, but instead I'm at work. Trying not to cry in my office. Tomorrow, maybe the sunshine will come out and warm my heart.
((hugs)) I'm thinking of you today.
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