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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Passing Time

Until now, passing through life a week at a time has been somewhat regular… isn’t just about everyone working for the weekend? Aren’t we all waiting to say TGIF? Before I settled into non-Bohemian lifestyle that is probably considered “the norm” I remember getting through life one month at a time, when I’d count the days until I’d get to return home again. Of course, there are those situations when I’ve had to live one day at a time and just do my best to get through the next 24 hours. That said, never in my life have I agonizingly passed the time in two week increments, except perhaps, between paydays back in college. You remember? The time between depositing your check and hoping the account isn’t overdrawn? But, now that I am TTC this two week interval is difficult to forget: the two weeks before O and the two weeks after it (waiting for a BFP or more often than not, for AF to arrive).

They say you should never wish away time and that you should always seize the day never guaranteed a tomorrow. And yet, now that I am TTC, I definitely find myself wanting time to move faster. Lately, it really just seems to drag. It's as if I have waited my whole life to finally want kids and be in a place to be able to go there and after 30+ years of avoiding it all, I want to be pregnant yesterday! Never in a million years could I ever have guessed I'd feel this way.

Obviously I have been going about life all the wrong way! Being intelligent is not as beneficial as being patient! (image source)
So, I hope to approach this cycle differently. I don’t want to dwell on the passing days until I O or until I can test. So much can happen in 14 days! A coup d’etat. A sprouting seedling. A life-changing vacation. An entire opera production (been there done that!). Or maybe, just maybe, the start of life for a very special baby. That’s what I hope the next two weeks will bring. But in order to get through the days and weeks, I am just hoping I can distract myself from that miraculous thought. And enjoy each day as it comes. This is definitely a lesson in patience and I find that I must practice if I hope to improve this area of my life. I have never been a patient person and I am definitely not one to wait for anything! I will try my best to be in “the now” and embrace this “in-between” time. And when all else fails, I will remind myself that good things do come to those who wait. Who knows what the next two weeks will bring?

3 comments:

  1. I totally understand, I'm the least patient person in the world when it comes to these things!

    Good luck!

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  2. Waiting to O right now is killing me. KILLING ME. I think we need some kind of mantra to calm us down...

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  3. And I'm itching to start TTC again! We cannot win, ladies! Patience is SO HARD sometimes. Ugggggggggggggh.

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