Sunday, September 27, 2009


Unfortunately, I am not a patient person. I always want to know what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. This is impossible when trying to conceive.

I am almost at the end of the 2WW. Aunt Flo is due on Tuesday. I am trying desperately not to test early. Even during my first pregnancy this May , I didn't get a positive test result until a week after I thought my period was due. I am pretty sure that testing early will only result in a BFN, or multiple BFNs. So, I'm hanging in there. I have one test in the back of the cupboard in the bathroom. It is "hiding" from me.

I'm not even sure if I ovulated this past cycle. We were on a European holiday when we were actively trying and I didn't notice my body's usual signals. Normally, I can detect some ovulation pain and a change in cervical mucus so I know for sure that I've ovulated. I didn't get any clear signals this time. Maybe because of the time difference? Maybe because I was in a different environment? Or there is the possibility that I really didn't ovulate.

We are taking a relaxed, keep it simple attitude towards TTC. No charting, no BBT recording, no CM monitoring. If, after several cycles, we do not conceive, I may want to consider charting. We are both almost 40 and we really don't have much time to lose. I worry that I may get stressed out with all of the details of charting and actually harm my chances of achieving that BFP.

After my miscarriage, I am not sure what to expect anymore. I am excited about getting pregnant again yet there is a part of me that is worried. I am trying not to listen to that part. I believe that positive thinking can influence the outcome of our TTC process.

So, here I am. Waiting. I'm really hoping for this to happen again:

Yet, I am afraid to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed. I am really trying to be patient. At this point, it is really important for me to take it one day at a time. And to hold onto positive thoughts !


  1. I think the waiting is the worst part of TTC. Waiting for AF, waiting to ovulate, waiting to test...ugh! You have more self control than me, though - if I had any HPTs in the house, they got USED lol.

  2. Waiting is terrible. Not knowing if you have ovulated or not is also hard. Charting does become addicting. Either way I wish you a BFP