In No Man's Land

That is where I am. I am in that cycle where you don't exactly know if you ovulated or not or if you are waiting for Aunt Flow to show up in a couple of days. So I figure there is really nothing I can do about it so I should just go about my business. I am one of those people who believe everything will happen when it is supposed to. So I go on with my life. Yesterday I took the train in the city with a friend. We checked out Navy Pier and walked over to the Field Museum and saw the pirate exhibit. It was great. But the whole time when we were walking all I saw were pregnant women and mom's pushing strollers or wearing their babies. I realized once you start TTC a little part of you changes and I don't think I can go back.

Source

I used to be one of those people who didn't notice kids or pregnant women. I would just walk about in my merry little world able to look past that stuff. Now things are different because I long to be one of those pregnant women. Life was simpler before TTC. Now I worry about is it the right time of the month, should we have sex more this week or did we spend all of our energy on the wrong week. Babies are starting to consume my mind. It doesn't help when I read other baby blogs but I enjoy them and hearing the different pregnancy stories and learning how mom's change after the baby comes. I try not to read them as often because when I don't read I find it is easier to distact myself. I am just glad we are keeping it a secret from most of the people I know and love so they can't ask me a million times if I am knocked up yet. I know my day will come that is not what is bothering me what is bothering me is that my mind wont let me go back to my simple oblivious self.