Sunday, January 16, 2011

Well, AF showed up

It has been about two weeks since I last posted and AF did indeed rear her ugly head! She continues to visit me even though her arrival is not welcome and her stay is not fun! I've had terrible cramps and a heavy flow. I am ready for it to be done so we can go head and start up again.

The week I get AF is the worst. I probably could have cried when I started it, but for some reason I didn't. I actually haven't cried in a long while about our situation. I don't know if this is a good thing or if at some point I will just lose it. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Anyway, when AF comes I am in a terrible mood. I don't want to talk to anyone. I am angry at my body and just want to punch something. So, you could say, that going to work is quite difficult when you're expected to be smiley and happy.

I am typically very open about personal things in my life. I don't mind talking about sex, or my period or my body, or anything of that nature with my good friends. Lately, though, I can't even seem to talk about what we are going through and how hard it is because the truth of the matter is that unless you've gone through this, you DON'T know what we are going through. You don't know HOW I FEEL. End of story. I don't want to see you turn your head to the side and "feel sorry" for me. I don't want to hear you say "it will happen". I don't want any of that so I just don't talk about it. Which is fine for most people but some people want to know what is going on and so, I'll start to open up and then I get one of things I just mentioned and I'll be so annoyed I even started sharing.

Well, here we go with cycle #10.

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