Monday, April 19, 2010

It's time

In case anyone missed me...

I have been on a bit of a hiatus from blogging over the last month. After I threw the thermometer in the drawer I have had many ups and downs. The ups are that I don't think about having another baby every day, more like just a few times a week...which is pretty miraculous for me. The downs being that seeing babies and people having new babies is often very difficult emotionally. I simply try to avoid reading about anything baby related, or focusing too much on anything that has to do with pregnancy and newborns.

I honestly know that I've done the right thing for myself and my family by giving up on ttc. I have had a sense of release. Almost like I've given myself permission to accept that I may only have one child naturally. This is definitely not an easy thing to accept, but it has helped me to not be anxious and pity myself that I haven't had more kids by now.

I say all this to let you know that I think my time on Pregosaur has come to a close. I know I've only been on here for a short time, but I think this is best for me. I figure if I am done ttc & I have a hard time even coming to the site and reading other peoples posts, that I really shouldn't overstay my welcome.

I pray that one day I will get my BFP, but I'm not anxiously counting on it. I really love that I have to count or look at a calendar to figure out what day of my cycle I am on. Maybe some day I'll be one of those people that wakes up suddenly and says "wow, I think my period is late" and I'll take a test and be dumbfounded when I see two lines. I pray that I can be caught off guard by pregnancy. I've always wanted to be one of those women....

So, to all of you in ttc and pregnancy land... thank you for being so supportive of my ttc endeavors.

May God shower you with the blessing of perfect babies.

2 comments:

  1. Praying for your surprise bfp and continued relief in just being yourself. Wishing you all the best, but I still hate to see you go :(

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  2. I am sorry to see you go. I hope you do get your surprise BFP someday. I am glad that you came to the right decision for you about TTC. All the best to you!

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