Thursday, November 26, 2009

Cycle #4 - Already!

AF surprised me by showing up this past Tuesday! That means that cycle #3 was only 21 days long. I found this to be depressing and frustrating. My last 3 cycles (since the miscarriage) have been 27, 32 and 21 days long. Not very regular, I'm afraid. Mr. Pharmasaur and I took a little trip on Tuesday night which helped me to feel a bit better.

image source

This ice cream store is pretty new in my area so it was quite a novelty to go there. I had a great big Rocky Road cone which was one of the best things I have ever tasted!

I was feeling pretty low and wondering how we would ever conceive with wacky cycles like this. Mr. Pharmasaur was great and told me that he is sure we will conceive when the time is right. He seems pretty convinced of this despite my doubts.

Tuesday also marked the 4 month mark since my miscarriage. Mr. Pharmasaur has been an absolute God-send throughout my grieving process. No one has ever held me and encouraged me to cry before. He just listens and is there for me. I have really needed that support lately and I'm so grateful. Actually, I'm not sure how I would cope with all of these emotions if I was pregnant again. I think I've needed these past few months to deal with my feelings.

I mentioned in a previous post about trying meditation. I haven't really started it yet. I keep putting it off until later. I have been thinking about "The Plan" for cycle #4. My motto is "Keep It Simple and Relax." I will not be using OPKs this cycle. I am going to try to tune into how my body feels and we are going to have sex when we want to. I don't want to keep pressuring myself to conceive. I want it to happen when (and if) it is meant to be. Therefore, there is no plan for this cycle.


  1. Just wanted to let you know, I TOTALLY understand. After a miscarriage in January, the doctor started me on progesterone (it was m/c #4) which sent my usual clockwork cycles into craziness. After a 21 day cycle in April and having no real idea when I might ovulate, I got KU in May with a sticky baby girl. There's hope even when cycles seem hopeless.

  2. I think you will feel better taking this approach for cycle 4!!