Monday, November 16, 2009

Confession



When I very first became pregnant, women told me to enjoy our sex life while I could, before the morning sickness struck. When the nausea hit, the same women told me to look forward to the second trimester, which apparently was full of hot sex, especially because a lot of them seemed to feel amazingly confident and sexy with their new pregnant body.

So here's my confession: I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and I don't feel sexy. At all. Not even a little bit.



I'm sure my ridiculous allergies don't help, but it's more than that. I don't feel confident or empowered. I feel fat. I feel bloated. I feel unsure and incredibly self-conscious of how my body looks. I'm hyperaware of how heavy and low my breasts have gotten - they're not the perky girls I used to be secretly proud of (because seriously, I had a FAB rack). I feel strangely off balance with a bump that now extends out well beyond my bust line, and immensely self-conscious about how it sticks out. I see the stretch lines forming on my stomach (yes, already!) and the last thing I want to do is let someone else check them out at close view.

This is, to say the least, extremely unusual for me. I've always enjoyed myself in the bedroom, and I don't know what to do with these new feelings. Mr Bibliosaur has been fantastic - very sweet and encouraging, always telling me that he still thinks I look sexy and beautiful. But I don't feel sexy and beautiful, and that makes it hard for me to get in the mood. I won't estimate the number of times we've gotten it on since I became pregnant, but I think there's a distinct possibility that it could be easily counted on two hands.

So I know this is all very TMI, but does anyone have any tips? Wearing lingerie doesn't do anything for me, and I've never been one to set the mood with candles and music, etc. (I secretly find those things super cheesy and certainly not a turn on). Is there anyone else out there who just didn't feel sexy when they were pregnant? How do I get my confidence back?

P.S. Don't you love these books? I still find it hilarious that there's a market for romance novels about knocked up women.

6 comments:

  1. Stopping by from SITS! :)

    What used to turn you on? Is it not working because you're trying so hard? Try to let it happen naturally. Cheesy advice but it does work. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have no idea answers to your question, cause I'm looking for them too!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cairo, that's the thing - there was never a "thing" per sae that turned me on. Maybe I was just naturally horny lol? But there were no specific triggers - I never had to do anything to get in the mood, I just got there (rather frequently) on my own, I guess.

    I think my worst problem right now is that I just don't physically FEEL confident or sexy...I feel uncomfortable in my body, and that makes me feel very unconfident. I'm not sure how to deal with that, or what (if anything) I can do about it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm simalar to you (one-man-nymph) i'm currently 9 weeks :) DH & I have not been doing it as much as we used to (down from 2-3x a week- once-every-other-week, mostly due to qwezzyness) I'm guessing you feel about your hubby like I feel about mine. He's HOT! Maybe try not focusing on how YOU look. and focus on how HE looks. & who said you HAVE to have sex? there are other things you can do. Rub on him, enjoy his body & maybe your labedo will decide... hey I remember this :P
    I hope so, or it's not looking good for me for the next few months :P
    G'luck

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm right there with you! I have no tips. But I just want to say that all those celebrities who say they've never felt sexier than when they were pregnant are LIARS! They must be lying.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree. Our sex life was BLAH during the first tri... we were too scared to do anything! It's gotten better in the second, but still no where near "normal." The good thing is it reminds us to connect and be romantic in other ways, and I'm all for learning about that!

    ReplyDelete