Sunday, November 1, 2009

Circle of Life

On Monday the 26th, we found out we were having a boy.

By the end of the day, our little boy had a name. Baby Citysaur will be Benjamin James.

On Thursday the 29th, I got a message from my mom while I was at work that my stepdad only had a few more days at most. I broke down, I sobbed. My coworkers picked up the pieces of me and one of them drove me to my parents' house.

For two nights I slept on a spare bed at my parents' house...waiting.

At 6:12 AM on Saturday, October 31st, the hospice nurse woke me up and I went into my father's room. My mom was by his side, and he had already taken his last breath. She said it was peaceful, and we know that he was never in pain.

Within an hour, the house was filled with family members, there to pay last respects before his body was taken to the funeral home.

My heart hurts, more than I could ever imagine.

But I am also comforted. Outside of any religious beliefs, I just know that a part of my father will live on in our son. I believe that in this Circle of Life, my son has been chosen to take his place on this earth, to carry on his legacy.

My task is to teach Ben all about his grandfather, and how to honor his legacy and live up to the huge shadow that has been left behind. To teach him to honor and respect and most of all love the way that my father did.

May you rest with the Angels, Wayne. I will always love you.


  1. I am sorry you are having to go through such a difficult time. My thoughts are w/you and your family *hugs*

  2. Prayers for peaceful days and strength while suffering thru your loss. I know you will share the stories and memories of your stepdad with your son.

  3. I am sorry for your loss and will say a prayer for you and your family.

  4. I´m so sorry. Hugs to you and your family.

  5. I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. Many T&P being sent to you & your family.

  6. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Sending T&P your way to you and your family!!! ((((hugs))))

  7. Citysaur I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  8. I'm so very sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))